Craving Dragonflies

by Terri E. Laine

  She was probably as surprised as I was to learn Derek was most likely loaded. I hadn’t aspired to have a rich boyfriend, but apparently I had one.

  When we pulled up to mini-mansion row, I shouldn’t have been surprised. But the looming Sigma house wasn’t where I wanted to be. Would Ashton be in there?

  “Is everything okay?” Derek asked, when I didn’t make a move to leave the car.

  I thought back to all the parties I’d recently gone to there. I hadn’t seen Derek there. Maybe… maybe not? I took his hand and let him help me out of the sports car.

  We walked in to a subdued crowd. Pairs of people were lounging on the leather sofas as a game played loudly on a mounted TV I hadn’t noticed before.

  If anyone asked, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them if someone muted the sound or if white noise had filled my ears. I could only say everything seemed to go quiet as all eyes turned my way.

  “Guys,” Derek announced, his arm like a vise around my shoulder. “This is my girlfriend, Willow.”

  Embarrassed by his introduction, I berated myself for not correcting Celeste earlier. My mortification only increased when we didn’t get the normal response like a chorus of greetings. Only a few girls said hi back. The guys glanced at each other and then over at Ashton who occupied a space at the end of one couch with a girl so close to him she was practically on his lap.

  My cheeks burned under everyone’s scrutiny. I spotted Jason, the guy who’d given me the signature invitation to the underground party.

  However, it wasn’t him who spoke. It was Trent, the guy Ashton had saved me from who’d dared to disturb the growing awkwardness.

  “Isn’t that—” he began.

  “Leave it.” Ashton’s snarling words took everyone by surprise.

  “He speaks,” Trent mocked. “And we should listen. But he should know—”

  “Let it the fuck go,” Ashton pressed.

  The dimwit looked around for support, but no one was going to back him against Ashton. He brought his glass to his lips to play off his shutdown.

  Derek didn’t have a clue what was going on, and I was grateful when he offered to get me a drink. We walked into the kitchen.

  “What’s that about?” he asked.

  He had every right to know. “Can we talk somewhere else?”

  He nodded as he snagged a bottle of water and held it to me. I relieved it from his hand and followed him back into the room filled with the sounds of the sportscast. I couldn’t look at anyone, fearing what I’d see. I felt eyes on me, but wasn’t sure whose.

  Upstairs, Derek’s room was neat, though it felt like it had been made that way for my arrival. Everything was a bit too orderly to be real. Or it might have been the rose petals on his perfectly made bed that caused nervousness to fill my gut.

  “Is there something going on between you and Westborough?”

  I blinked, wondering who that was until I remembered Ashton’s last name from the back of his jersey.

  “Oh,” I breathed.

  He took my relief and gave me back suspicious eyes. I licked my lips, wondering if I had the courage to say it. He’d been my one shot for a boyfriend. I didn’t have any other prospects at my door. I thought back to how that had seemed so important long ago and took a deep breath.

  “Not currently. I’d never do that. But in the past.”

  He exhaled and scrubbed a hand over his unruly hair. He let out a blustering noise that might have been a laugh or a cough.

  “It figures. Guys like him—”

  My jaw tightened. I wanted him to finish that sentence and get on to the part about girls like me.

  His pacing stopped dead in front of me and he abandoned his previous sentence.

  “You screwed him?”

  I didn’t like his tone, but I tried to think about how I would feel in his position.

  “I had no idea you knew him or belonged to the same frat.”

  Because if he had a room in the house, he was a card carrying member.

  “Yeah, well, my idea of a girlfriend doesn’t come here to get screwed.”

  My hand flew out so fast, I couldn’t stop it. I shocked myself by the sound my hand made against his cheek.

  He rubbed the cherry red print blossoming on his face.

  “I deserve that.”

  “You do,” I snapped. “And before I go, I’ll set your mind at ease. I’ve only ever slept with one guy… ever,” I added with emphasis.

  He reached for me. “Wait. Please.”

  I whirled around and slowly shook my head.

  “There was never really any more than friendship in our future.”

  “Is that why you wouldn’t kiss me?”

  There was no point in lying now. I nodded.

  “But friendship is off the table. I can’t be around someone who slut shames,” I said and was out the door, ignoring his pleas for forgiveness.

  I pulled it closed, and when I glanced up, the girl Ashton had been cozied up to stood in the empty hallway.

  “I think it’s time for us to talk,” she said.

  38

  Ashton

  * * *

  I sat with my head in my hands as I replayed the last ten minutes.

  Ever since she’d walked in the door, I almost regretted coming to the frat house. I was there because I’d done Sawyer a solid. It had been the first time I’d felt like I could save him. I couldn’t totally be sorry for coming because I’d gotten to see Willow.

  The only problem I had now was needing a favor from Sawyer as I balled my hand at my side. Would it be manslaughter or first-degree murder if I killed the guy she was with? I settled on premeditated murder since I was contemplating it when Julie cut into my thoughts.

  Leaning in way too close to my side, she whispered, “Who is she?”

  Her hand slid down my arm making my skin crawl.

  “No one.”

  My lie had nothing to do with the possessive way she took hold of my hand. It was just none of her business, and I knew she would make it hers if I gave her so much as Willow’s name.

  The seductive smile Julie tossed me had as much appeal as rotting food. She stood and held out a hand. The only reason I took it was I wanted to leave. It was a bonus she led me upstairs.

  “Which one?”

  I was surprised she’d known I had a room. Then again, how much had Sawyer told her before they stopped talking altogether?

  I aimed a finger toward the room on the right at the far end of the hall. Her smile grew as did my relief.

  She walked into the room I’d called home much of this semester, her eyes drinking in every sight.

  I lifted the cap I wore as a shield and ran a hand through my hair before resettling it backward on my head. I stood by the closed door until she turned to face me.

  “Wow, better than I imagined.”

  The place was tidy. The cleaning crew had done their thing.

  “Julie,” I began.

  Her grin had more teeth than I thought possible. She moved toward me.

  “You don’t have to say it. This is perfect.”

  I took a step back when she got too close. She wasn’t the safe harbor she’d once been. Her smile dropped, leaving a frown on her face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not going to work,” I said without explanation.

  I wanted her gone, and I knew what I had to say would hurt her. Still, I wouldn’t spare her feelings.

  “Why not? Sawyer has obviously moved on. You don’t have to feel guilty about being with me.”

  She reached up and I caught her hands, moving them away from my face. Her expression darkened.

  “It was never Sawyer holding me back,” I said.

  I knew that now. I’d only thought I’d loved her because Sawyer did and he’d been my compass for all things normal.

  She freed her hands from mine and stepped back. “What? You’re still hung up on him after everything? When will you see he’ll never love
you the way I do?”

  Our friendship had been real, and for that I’d be thankful. I wouldn’t tear her down, but she needed to face reality.

  “You don’t love me any more than I love you,” I said.

  “That’s not true.” She ate up some of the distance between us. “How can you say that?”

  I let her come within inches of invading my space.

  “Think about it. You went to college, and after the first few weeks we didn’t hear from you. You stopped calling, not the other way around.”

  Her hand dropped to her sides. “I just thought…”

  I didn’t complete her sentence for her. When her eyes met mine, there was pain and maybe a little regret.

  “I was protecting myself. I didn’t want to hear about you with anyone else,” she supplied.

  “You weren’t saving yourself for me either.”

  She turned away from me. “I’ve never loved someone like I loved you.”

  I did sympathize with her. My feelings had been so twisted, I’d felt the same way she had about Sawyer.

  “You were in love with the idea of me. Trust me, I can never be what you want,” I said.

  She faced me with a renewed sense of purpose.

  “You deserve love too.”

  I could argue with her, but what was the point?

  “So do you.” I shook my head. “And it’s not with me.”

  “How can you be sure?” she asked.

  The breath I let go was filled with something I wondered if Sawyer felt. Exhaustion.

  “I know how I feel, Julie. We can only ever be friends.”

  She nodded, and my next exhale was filled with relief.

  “She doesn’t deserve you.”

  Julie had never been stupid. I didn’t bother trying to take her off the scent.

  “It’s the other way around,” I said, moving away from the door and letting her take hold of the knob.

  “You know how to reach me when you realize the mistake you’re making.”

  It was out of childhood friendship I let her have the last word.

  My temples ached with the memory of that conversation. When the knock came, I sighed. Had Julie come up with a new angle before she would finally leave?

  I opened the door as her name left my tongue.

  Though the woman before me wasn’t her. Two sets of eyes burned brightly on me as I dragged Willow close and pressed my mouth to hers. I slid my hand possessively down to the small of her back, tugging her inside to close the door on the pair of glares from those who didn’t want us to be together.

  I let her go, unsure of my welcome despite her melting against me.

  She took a few steps back as we silently appraised each other. A gut-wrenching need burrowed deep inside, awakening something that had never been before. The clarity I’d long since determined only sharpened with her so close.

  “Are you with Bryant?” I asked.

  The question should have been redundant given her lack of protest to my caveman impression at the door. But I needed verbal confirmation.

  Her confusion cleared up a second later. “Oh, you mean Derek. I forget you guys call each other by your last names.”

  I should feel bad. Bryant had been a needy friend. He’d spoken about a girl he was into. The truth was, I hadn’t known it was Willow and had connected with her before I knew she’d been the girl of his dreams. I wasn’t selfless enough to give her up for him. Maybe if I’d known before, I would have never gotten to this point.

  “Yes, him. Are you together?”

  She glanced at the door at my back as if she could see through it. A frown turned her pretty lips into something I feared. Was she about to let me down gently? Was her appearance at my door simply to clear things up before she moved on with him? Mentally, I closed my eyes and fisted my hands. Outwardly, I held her gaze, waiting…

  “No. I told him as much.”

  The tightening in my chest loosened and I could breathe.

  “And why are you here?” I asked.

  Again, it was an obvious question that I needed her to answer.

  “For you.”

  Her bold statement deserved a decisive answer.

  Instead, I began with, “I’m not…”

  A what? A monster? I was or at the very least a product of one. A good guy? I didn’t know what that meant. For so long, my only role model had been Sawyer. He’d been a father, brother, best friend, and my sole desire. I’d bound my life to his without a preserver.

  “You’re not a what?” she asked, her shyness coming back in soft-spoken words.

  Her beautiful eyes fastened on mine like hooks reeling me in.

  “I don’t know how to be—” There was that pause again creating a wall of awkwardness. “A boyfriend.”

  I let the blunt word be the sabotage that it was. She was too good for me and deserved a guy who would know how to treat her like the treasure she was.

  “And I don’t know the first thing about being a girlfriend.”

  Her eyes once again shifted over my shoulder a second before returning to mine. There had been something between Bryant and her, but she didn’t elaborate. I wasn’t a masochist and didn’t probe her for an explanation.

  “So, what next?” I asked.

  According to Sawyer’s playbook, I should fuck her brains out and worry about the rest later. But I wasn’t Sawyer and she wasn’t a throwaway girl.

  “We try and see where things go.”

  She took a step forward, and I held my hands up. Anything that came next would be a signed, sealed, and delivered agreement. She needed to know what she was getting into.

  “I’m fucked up, Willow. There’s so much shit you don’t know about me.”

  She invaded my space like a conqueror. Her fearlessness bore fruit as she placed her tiny palms against my own. Like before, her touch didn’t elicit pain, though I’d admit only to myself a tingling sensation that shot up my arms and down my spine.

  “No one’s perfect, not even me,” she explained.

  But she was perfect to me. I didn’t let the past control my present. I boldly went where I hadn’t gone before. I bent down and kissed her. This time it wasn’t a reaction to external elements. This time it was very much premeditated. I’d been unable to keep my eyes off her Cupid’s bow like I’d been hit with an arrow.

  The kiss didn’t exactly go right. She’d gotten to her toes faster than I could reach her. Our mouths collided in a lovely mess, all teeth and lips. Neither of us apparently experts in the art. We pulled back and laughed.

  It was my turn to show no fear.

  I reached out and tipped her chin up. “Let’s try that again.”

  Using my free hand, I slipped it around her waist, drawing her close and lifting her to her toes. There was a smile on my lips as this time our kiss connected like magnets. The pull so great, I deepened it by sliding my tongue over hers and enjoying her taste.

  My cock swelled to epic proportions, pressing closer to her, eliminating the little space between us. She moved in despite having felt my desire. My hand slid from her back to her ass. It may as well have been a choregraphed dance how effortlessly we moved. She wrapped one leg around me and I hoisted her up, turning and pressing her against the door.

  There in the cradle of her legs, my dick found its way home. I wanted inside her like a man starved. I let my free hand roam up her ribcage. I used my thumb to outline the curved underside of her breast, before roving over the hardened peak of her nipple.

  She let out a gasp that broke our connection. I dipped my head to nip at her taut nipple through the fabric that covered it.

  For once I wasn’t a student in need of instruction. I’d learned all my lessons well and graduated with a master’s in the art.

  As much as I wanted to unfasten my pants and plunge inside her, I needed to kneel before her and pay homage to the gorgeous woman before me. I reluctantly let her slide down until she was standing on her feet. She looked as hesitant as I fe
lt at breaking our connection.

  “Are you sure you want this?”

  I gave her an out. Little did she know the consequences of her answer because I wasn’t just talking about sex.

  She nodded, and I got to one knee. Her eyes widened, but I let my hands do the talking.

  Touch was a basic thing to some. But for me, it was a gift I’d long since been denied. It was something to trail my fingers from her ankles to her inner thighs, taking my time and never letting my gaze leave hers.

  The blow in the breeze type short dresses she favored gave no problems as I moved the fabric up to her navel. There before me covered in blue cotton was the object of my cock’s desire. I leaned in and ran my tongue over her most sensitive part. That wasn’t enough. I needed to taste her. I hooked my fingers into her panties and dragged them down her legs. Then I used one hand to move the dress up again and let my other to get to work.

  I licked between her folds until I found the pearl I sought. She shivered in my hold as I sucked her hard clit into my mouth and used my fingers as a prelude to my cock. When she began to shake and lose her balance, I shifted one leg and then the other over my shoulders, leaving the dress to halo my head.

  Once she was on board, I went all in, tongue going deep, seeking that spot that would get her off like no other.

  She cried my name, pride swelling like my dick, which could drill holes into the floor.

  “Hang on, baby.”

  The words had come without conscious thought and flitted away as she removed my hat and dug her nails into my hair like she was on one hell of a ride. The shock of momentary pain didn’t stop me cold like I would have guessed. Her mulling cries for more fueled me on until her pleasure coated my throat. I hungrily devoured every drop.

  Though she was boneless, barely able to stand, I put her on her feet until I could get to my own. Then I lifted her and made for my bed.

  39

  Willow