Boone's Surrender

by Shirleen Davies

  Willow’s eyes began to blur, her mind fogging at his request. She’d never considered he might want to try again. After all, he’d been clear he didn’t love her. Clasping her hands together, she shook her head.

  “It wouldn’t work, Boone. I’ve come to accept we just aren’t meant to be.”

  Leaning forward, he noticed the slight tick at the corner of her eye. It told him more than her words. “Is that what you believe or what you want to believe?”

  Her heart tripped in her chest as she considered his question. The answer was simple. “It’s what I know to be true. You don’t love me. You never have and never will. It took me a long time and a lot of introspection to admit it, but no matter what I did, how much I loved you, it would never be enough. I’m not the one, Boone.” A sad smile curved the corners of her mouth. “You deserve to be with a woman who means everything to you. A woman you think about the instant you wake up and as you drift off to sleep. I’m not that woman.” Pushing the cup away, she started to stand.

  “Stay, Willow. Please.”

  She didn’t want to hear any more. Leaving now would be no better than what happened after their last confrontation. She’d run, and it hadn’t turned out well. Lowering herself back into the chair, Willow clasped her hands together.

  “Thank you.” Boone had no idea where to go from here, except to be honest. “When you told me about being pregnant, I panicked. I’d taken responsibility for the ranch not long before we got together. With Del working more than full-time as a deputy and Thorn overseas, I had little support, no backup plan if stuff went wrong.” His jaw worked, his mind going back to their time together before the accident. “Being with you turned out to be the best part of every day. I could relax, let my worries about the ranch fade away, and be myself. I’d never been that way with anyone else, not even my brothers. But love…” Boone shook his head. “Honestly, I hadn’t given it much thought. I was twenty-four and unprepared for the hard choices that came with a family, Willow. At least that’s what I believed when you said we were having a baby.” His chest squeezed when he thought of how old their child would be if the accident never happened. “I didn’t respond well, and for that, I’m sorry.”

  Looking down at her hands, she shook her head. “None of it was your fault, Boone.”

  “After the first few weeks, I didn’t use a condom. It was selfish and immature.”

  Willow’s features softened. “We talked about it. I was on the pill and had been for a few years. We thought it was enough.” The day she’d gotten the results of the pregnancy test, she didn’t think it through before driving to the Macklin ranch. “I should’ve waited to tell you. You’d already called to tell me about the mare and foal Dr. Johnson couldn’t save. I knew their deaths crushed you, but I was too selfish to let your feelings get in the way of giving you the news.”

  Boone remembered how he felt when the vet shook his head, letting him know they were both gone. He’d put so much hope on the mare and what would’ve been a beautiful colt. He hadn’t been at all receptive when he learned about the pregnancy. Still, he wondered when he would’ve been.

  “It wouldn’t have mattered when you told me, Willow. For the first few years, every day was a struggle to keep the ranch solvent. Until recently, I always felt the hammer could come crashing down at any moment, forcing me to sell.”

  “Which you never would’ve done.”

  He choked out a harsh laugh. “Probably not.” Swallowing the last bit of coffee, he set the cup aside. “What do you say, Willow? Can we try it again?”

  Her gaze darted around the room, as if she fought for the right response. “I don’t know, Boone. You didn’t love me before. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t force someone to love you.” When he opened his mouth to respond, she held up a hand. “Maybe we can be friends.”

  “Friends?” The word tasted bitter on his tongue.

  “You know…not ignore each other when you come into the shop, sit together at church sometimes, go fishing.” Her eyes sparkled on the last.

  She offered something he could work with. “Maybe take Ty for pizza and ice cream.”

  Chuckling, she nodded. “Maybe.”

  “If that’s what you can offer, I’ll take it.”

  Pushing back her chair, she stood, extending her hand. “Friends.”

  Boone smiled, gripping her hand. “Friends.”

  Her hand in his felt like much more than friendship, but he wouldn’t mess up the new arrangement. He had time, and for now, it was enough.

  “Sorry, Boone. Amy and I are having dinner with Ashley and Josh tomorrow night. Have you tried Thorn and Grace?”

  “Tried them first, Del. Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. Are you still coming out Saturday?”

  “Same as always. Have coffee ready this time.”

  Boone could hear the humor in Del’s voice. “Will do. And Kell is staying with me, so he’ll be helping out.”

  “That’s who you’re going out with Friday night? I thought you had a date.”

  “Not yet, but I’m hopeful. I’d better get busy and see who I can find to watch Ty. See you Saturday, Del.” Hanging up, Boone ran a hand through his hair, trying to come up with anyone who might babysit Tyler.

  Opening the contacts on his phone, he started scrolling through them, stopping on Willow. Not wanting to push her, he’d avoided calling the last two days. With Kell coming into town this afternoon, Boone thought it best to wait until after the weekend. The corners of his mouth tilted upward. Now he had a good excuse to call.

  Touching the button, he leaned back in the chair, his heart rate rising as he waited for her to answer. After several rings, he expected it to go to voicemail. Instead, she picked up.

  “Boone?”

  “Yeah. Did I interrupt anything?”

  “Working on inventory, so any interruption is welcome. Do you need something?”

  “Not from the store. This is a personal call.” Boone tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair, waiting to see if she’d make some excuse and hang up.

  “Okay…”

  The knot in his stomach tightened. “I’d like to see about you joining me and Ty for fishing. Not this weekend, but the following Saturday. I have plenty of gear and bait. What do you say?” He held his breath, waiting.

  “Only if you let me bring the food.”

  He blew out the breath he’d been holding. “No arguments on that. I’ll call you next week to set it all up.”

  “Sounds good. If that’s all, I should be getting back to the inventory.”

  “There is one other thing. I, uh…need a babysitter on Friday night. Do you think Carly would be interested?” As soon as the words were out, he realized how it sounded. “It’s not for a date, Willow. Kell Brooks is coming into town today. I thought we’d go to Kull’s, see some of our friends from school. You’re welcome to join us.”

  “You don’t have to explain your personal life to me, Boone. What you do and who you date are none of my business.”

  Scrubbing a hand down his face, he shook his head. “You’re right. Just wanted to clarify why I wanted to talk with Carly.” Again, he waited, hoping he hadn’t blown it.

  “I’m sure she’d love to watch Ty. You can call her. She’ll be home from school after three.”

  “Thanks, Willow. And don’t change your mind about fishing. I’m counting on that food you promised.” Hearing her chuckle, he began to relax.

  “I won’t change my mind, Boone.”

  “Good. And think about joining us tomorrow night at Kull’s. Six o’clock. We’ll have a few drinks, then head over to Doc’s for dinner.”

  “I’ll think about it. No promises, though.”

  “Sure. Hope to see you tomorrow.”

  Hanging up, he slumped back in the chair, a grin on his face. Even if she didn’t show tomorrow night, he’d made progress. In a week, he’d be spending the morning fishing with Willow. Something he never thought he’d do
again.

  Kell sat on the porch, a beer in his hand, watching Tyler chase Boone around the yard. After the last few missions, anything approaching a normal life made him feel human again.

  Boone didn’t know it, but Kell might not be heading back. He’d been ordered to take time off, get his head together, then go through a series of psych reviews before a decision would be made about returning to duty. The thought of not going back to his team frightened him. The possibility of a civilian life scared the hell out of him.

  “Come on, Uncle Kell.” Tyler waved at him, doubling over in laughter when Boone picked him up, spinning him around.

  “Yeah, Uncle Kell. You’re missing all the fun.” Boone carried Tyler to the porch, setting him on a chair next to Kell. “I’m going to grab a beer. You want another?”

  Kell nodded as he drained the last of what was in the longneck, watching as Tyler began to settle down.

  “Daddy says I get to have a babysitter tomorrow night.”

  Kell stretched out his long legs, crossing his ankles. “Is that so?”

  Nodding, Tyler sat up in the chair, his expression somber. “Her name is Carly and she’s a girl.”

  Steeling his features so as not to laugh, Kell nodded. “Makes sense. Do you like girls?”

  Shaking his head, he slid off the chair. “They do weird things. Daddy says I won’t think they’re weird in a few years, but I think I will. Girls don’t like lizards.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  Pursing his lips, Ty shook his head. “They don’t. Daddy let me take mine to school for sharing and all the girls screamed. The next day, I had to let him go because Daddy said they aren’t meant to be caged. But it wasn’t a cage. It was a box, so I don’t think Daddy was right.”

  “What was I wrong about?” Boone stepped outside, handing an orange juice to Tyler and a beer to Kell.

  “The lizard was in a box, not a cage.”

  Taking a long swallow, Boone nodded. “Ah, the box versus cage discussion. Either way, you couldn’t keep him, Ty. If my mom were alive, she’d tell you the same.”

  Tyler’s eyes widened, his mouth opening. “You had a mommy?”

  Kell burst into laughter, spewing the beer in his mouth across the porch.

  Boone glared at him. “It isn’t that funny.”

  “The hel…I mean, the heck it isn’t.” Kell looked at Tyler. “You sure are a smart kid.”

  Tyler grinned. “That’s what Daddy says.” Looking at the driveway, he ran to the edge of the porch, pointing at a car driving up. “Who’s that?”

  Stepping beside Tyler, Boone squinted, trying to get a better look inside the sleek sports car. He mumbled a curse when the doors opened.

  “Who is it?” Kell asked, setting his beer down to join them. “Well, what do we have here?” Walking down the steps, his smile broadened at the sight of two women coming toward him.

  “Hey, Kell. We heard you were in town and thought we’d come out to welcome you.” A curvy brunette walked up, slipping an arm through his. Standing on tiptoe, she planted a kiss on his cheek.

  “Sarah Mae. It’s been a long time, darlin’. It’s good to see you.” Kell wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. “And who is this?”

  “This is my cousin, Bethany. She drove all the way over from Billings to meet you.”

  “All the way from Billings, huh? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Bethany.” Slipping his other arm around her waist, he turned toward the porch. “Guess we’ll need a couple more beers.”

  Boone felt a tug on his pants and looked down. “Who are they, Daddy?”

  Letting out a sigh, Boone plastered on a smile. “Just a couple friends, son. Come on. I’ll introduce you.”

  So much for a kickback evening with Kell. The girls stayed for hours, drinking beers, sharing the steaks Boone marinated. Tyler seemed fascinated by the two women, neither looking anything like his aunts, Grace and Amy. Tight, short dresses, four-inch heels, and enough makeup to last most women a year, they laughed at everything the men said. Kell seemed to be having a good time. All Boone wanted to do was hit the sack.

  He’d gone out with Sarah Mae a few times. It had been a few years, but it didn’t take long to remember why four dates had never gone to five. Dumb as a post was what Del had called her after he joined them at Kull’s one evening. Back then, Boone wasn’t going out with her for her mind. Watching her now, he winced, wondering why he wasted even four nights with her.

  She wasn’t all that bad. She just wasn’t Willow.

  “I’d better get Ty to bed. He’s got school tomorrow.” Walking to the sofa, he scooped the sleeping boy into his arms, sensing a presence next to him.

  “Do you want some help tucking him in?” Sarah Mae’s slightly slurred voice irritated him. He knew what she was asking.

  “Nah, I’ve got him.” Stopping at the foot of the stairs, he turned back toward her. “You know, I have an extra bedroom down the hall with two beds. Maybe you and Bethany should consider crashing here.”

  Swaying toward him, she touched his arm. “I’d rather share your bed.”

  “Sorry, Sarah Mae. That’s not going to happen.” Boone didn’t wait for her to reply before climbing the stairs.

  Tucking Tyler in, he sat beside him longer than necessary, watching the boy sleep. Whoever his father was must’ve been a real piece of work. Boone couldn’t imagine walking away from such a gift, missing out on the joy Tyler brought to everyone. Stroking his hair, he leaned down, dropping a kiss on his forehead, then stood. Time to either sober the girls up or move them to the guest bedroom.

  Walking down the stairs, the first thing he noticed was the quiet. Freezing at the bottom of the steps, he looked around, surprised to see the living room and kitchen were empty. He sure hoped Kell hadn’t decided to invite them both to stay in his room. That simply wouldn’t work with Tyler in the house.

  He should’ve known his friend had more sense than that. Laughter drew Boone to the front porch, a weary smile crossing his face seeing Kell help them into their car. Stepping away, Kell waved as they drove off.

  “I forgot about you and Sarah Mae. She sure was miffed when you turned her down tonight.” Kell joined Boone on the porch.

  “They okay to drive?”

  “Yeah. They didn’t have as much as they wanted us to think. I made them each coffee before sending them on their way.” Kell dragged a hand down his tired face. “Guess I’m getting old.”

  Boone turned to look at him. “How’s that?”

  “I’d rather have a cup of coffee out here on the porch with you than have either of them in my bed. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

  Boone clasped him on the back. “Not at all, bro. I think we’re just growing up.”

  “Ah, hell, man. That sounds even worse.”

  Boone had to agree, but for some reason, it didn’t bother him like it used to. “How’d you get them to leave?”

  Scratching his chin, Kell winced. “Told them we’d be at Kull’s tomorrow.”

  “Ah, hell,” Boone mumbled as he entered the kitchen.

  “Sorry, man. Guess we’re looking at round two.”

  Chapter Seven

  “Come on in, Carly.” Boone’s smile widened when he saw Willow get out of her truck and walk up the steps. “I didn’t know you were bringing her.”

  Shrugging, Willow followed Carly inside. “Made sense. If the offer is still open, I decided to stop by Kull’s for a little bit, visit with Kell. I’ll come back here later to pick up Carly.”

  Closing the door behind them, Boone saw Carly already on the floor next to Tyler, playing with his newest monster truck. “You brought her here, so I’ll take her home.”

  “If you’re sure, that would be great.” Her attention moved to Tyler, whose animated movements and sound effects already had Carly laughing. “He sure is a handsome little boy,” she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.

  Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Boone nodded. “He
is. And much too smart for me. It’s a struggle to keep up with all his questions…and his energy. Ty never stops. He’s on the go from the time he wakes up until he collapses onto his bed,” he chuckled.

  “Thought I heard voices down here.” Kell walked up to Willow, wrapping her in a tight hug. “It’s been a while.”

  Keeping her arms around him, she looked up. “Too long, Kell. When are you going to get out and move home?” Dropping her arms, she stepped away.

  “That’s the big question. Someday, I’ll spend time thinking on it. For now, it’s just good to be back.” Kell looked at Tyler, then moved his attention to Boone. “I’m telling you, though, it was a shock to learn my main man is a father.”

  Her lips tilted into a grim smile. “You weren’t the only one. I don’t think anyone saw it coming. It seems to be working out all right.” She cast a look at Boone, who crossed his arms and shrugged.

  Kell nodded toward Carly. “So that’s Greg’s daughter.”

  Willow quirked an eyebrow. “You’ve never met her?”

  “Nope. I haven’t been back in a while. Last time, Greg was out on one of his missions. How old is she?”

  “Fourteen.” She pressed her lips together.

  “When’s he due back?” Boone asked.

  “It’s anyone’s guess. We’ll know when he calls us from base.” She crossed her arms, her back stiffening, a clear indication of her frustration.

  Kell placed a hand on her shoulder. “I know it’s hard for families. My parents go through the same. As soon as I get back, I always stop by to see them for a few days.”

  She nodded. “I heard they moved somewhere a little warmer. Arizona?”

  “A couple hours north of Phoenix. They get a little snow, but nothing like around here. Mom loves it.”

  “And your father?”

  His face split into a wide grin. “He loves whatever Mom loves.”