To Save His Child

by Margaret Watson

  She had thought it was Caine. Even sleeping soundly, she’d awakened because she’d thought Caine was returning.

  It didn’t mean a thing, she told herself. Of course she would be attuned to Caine—right now her safety and Ana’s depended on him. She would be a fool if she didn’t pay attention.

  Her heart told her she was another kind of fool, but she refused to listen. Caine was just like her father, and she’d spent the last twenty-six years trying to escape from him. To run into the arms of a man who could be his twin would be nothing more than stupidity. Worse, it would be begging for heartbreak. She could no longer deny that the physical attraction between her and Caine was still there, stronger than ever, but that could be controlled and ignored. She refused to acknowledge the possibility that there could ever be anything more.

  As if conjured up by her thoughts, Caine suddenly appeared next to the Jeep. There had been no sounds warning of his approach, and she blinked once when she saw him, unsure if he was real or just a figment of her imagination.

  He had to be real. If she was imagining Caine, she wouldn’t have put such a forbidding look on his face. “What’s wrong?” she whispered, reaching out for the still-sleeping Ana.

  His eyes flickered to where she touched the baby, then back to her face. “We can’t take the road.”

  His voice was grim and hard. “What do you mean? Do we have to go back and try another route?”

  “There is no other route.” Reaching behind him, he pulled a map out of the rear pocket of his fatigues. “This is where we are,” he said, pointing to a thin red line that represented the road. “Limores is here.” He pointed to a spot that was directly below them. “It’s not too far, and we’re only a half mile or so from where this road joins another and becomes a fourlane highway.”

  She licked her lips. “So what’s the problem?”

  He stared at the map for a moment, then looked up at her, his face grim. “The problem is that there’s a roadblock where this road joins the other one. They’ve picked the perfect spot to intercept us, and they know it. We can’t continue on this road, and we can’t double back and try to pick up the other one. We’re trapped between them and Limores.”

  The jungle heat and the swarming fear were suddenly making her feel faint. “Then what do we do?” Her voice was high-pitched and reedy, sounding completely foreign to her.

  Caine looked at her for a moment, as if assessing her and testing what he wanted to say. “We have two choices,” he began slowly. “We can let ourselves be caught at the roadblock and hope they listen when we demand to be taken to the American Embassy.”

  She didn’t like the cold, hard look in his eyes. “You don’t think that’s going to happen, do you?”

  “What do you think?” His voice was blunt. “From what I’ve heard, El Cuchillo doesn’t think much of diplomacy or going through the channels.”

  “No.” She shivered. “I don’t think that’s what would happen if we allowed ourselves to get caught. But what about just waiting until it’s dark and driving through the roadblock? If we surprised them, maybe we could catch them off guard.”

  He shook his head. “Wouldn’t work. We’re not talking about a couple of sawhorses and a few bored men standing around. Whoever set up this roadblock was serious. There are too many trucks blocking the way to ever hope we’d make it through. And too many sophisticated weapons.”

  He looked at her, and she didn’t like the faint trace of pity she saw in his eyes. “It looks like they don’t care if they catch you alive or dead, Lexie. In fact, dead would probably be preferable to them. Less messy, more final.” He searched her face. “This is beginning to look like more than an anti-American bias. This is starting to smell awfully personal. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “What could I be hiding from you, Caine? All I know about El Cuchillo is his name. You probably know more about him than I do.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been living in this country for a while now. Maybe there’s something you’ve seen or heard that you don’t remember.”

  She shook her head. “Not that I know of Santa Ysabel is too isolated. We wouldn’t see anyone from one week to the next.”

  After a moment he nodded. If he was disappointed, he didn’t show it. “All right, let’s get going.”

  “What do you mean? You never told me what the other option was.”

  He turned to face her, pulling on his backpack. “Didn’t I? I’m sorry, Lexie, but we don’t have any other choice. We’re going to have to walk through the jungle to Limores.”

  Chapter 6

  “What?” She couldn’t believe she’d heard him correctly. “How can we walk through the jungle? We don’t have any food, we don’t have any way to cook the food we don’t have, and we can’t have nearly enough water. It would take days to reach Limores.”

  “Three, maybe four at the most.” His voice was cool and determined. “And we do have food and water. I made sure I was prepared for anything.”

  She stared at the wall of green in front of her. “How can we get through this?” she whispered.

  “We’ll cut our way through. Lexie, we don’t have any choice.” He was starting to sound impatient. “Believe me, I’ve given it a lot of thought. Limores is on the other side of this mountain. The only way to avoid being caught is to go over it and straight down into the city.”

  “But...” She gestured hopelessly at Ana. Besides the difficulty of carrying the baby over miles of rough terrain, she didn’t have enough clothes or diapers for a trek of several days. “What about her?”

  His eyes skimmed over the baby and back to her face. “I’ll help you, Lexie. We’ll make it because we don’t have any choice. It’s either this or be caught by El Cuchillo’s men, and after seeing what he’s got waiting for us down the road, we can’t take that chance. He wouldn’t go to all this trouble just to escort you out of the country.”

  She teetered on the edge of panic as she looked at the jungle ahead of her. Deep inside she knew Caine was right, but she scrambled for another idea. The thought of spending the next few days walking through the hot, airless jungle was too overwhelming to consider. She refused to even think about the nights.

  After strapping his small pack to his chest, Caine moved around to the back of the Jeep and pulled out a much larger backpack. Hoisting it onto his back, he reached into the Jeep and pulled out her pack and handed it to her. It held pitifully few items that would help them make it through the jungle. Besides the few items of clothing that Caine had brought for her, it held Ana’s diapers and clothes, her medical kit and a few toiletries. And the manila envelope that Caine had retrieved for her.

  Whatever happened, she thought fiercely, she wasn’t going to leave her pictures behind. Lifting her backpack into place, she turned to Caine and waited for him to move.

  He stood back, looking at the Jeep. “I’m going to get more branches and try to cover it better,” he said abruptly. “With any luck, they won’t find it until we’re out of the country.”

  “All right.” She moved to help him, and he laid a hand on her arm with a curious expression in his eyes.

  “Don’t, Lexie. Let me do this. You need to conserve your energy. We have to get far away from this car today, and we don’t have many hours of daylight left.”

  She slipped the pack off again and sank down onto the ground as she watched him hack at the vines with mechanical efficiency. In a very few minutes she could barely see the Jeep through the matting of green that Caine had arranged over it.

  He stepped back and looked at it critically. “It won’t be too many days before everything begins to wither, but with any luck it’ll stay green for long enough.” Sliding the machete back into its scabbard with a fluid motion, he turned to her and held out a hand. “It’s time to go.”

  She slid her hand into his, and he pulled her to her feet in one smooth movement. His fingers seemed to linger longer than necessary, then he dropped her hand and reached f
or her pack. “Turn around.”

  His gruff voice was so close to her ear that she could feel his warm breath whisper across the side of her neck. Shivering slightly, she waited with tense anticipation for his hands to touch her shoulders.

  She was disappointed when the pack settled onto her back seemingly without any assistance. She turned around to look at him, but he had moved away to settle his own pack.

  Lexie was surprised to learn that they didn’t need to use the machete to cut a path. The undergrowth was sparse here, perhaps because the canopy of trees above them was so dense that little direct light penetrated to the floor of the forest. For the first time since he’d said they were going to walk through the jungle, her anxiety lifted slightly. If they didn’t have to fight for every inch they traveled, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she’d feared.

  Just as she was beginning to relax a little, Caine called back to her, “Watch your step. Without a lot of ground cover, there aren’t too many places for snakes to hide. You don’t want to step on one.”

  She froze in mid-step and looked down at the uneven ground. There was nothing to see except leaves and dead branches in various stages of decay. “Ah, Caine?”

  Slowing down, he looked back over his shoulder at her. “What?”

  “Did you just see a snake?”

  “There aren’t any right here, Lexie.” He stopped and turned around. “They hide under fallen trees and bigger branches. I just wanted to remind you to pay attention.”

  “You don’t have to worry,” she muttered, picking her way gingerly past a small branch. “You got my attention, all right.”

  She looked up in time to see his face soften. “Don’t you know snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them?”

  “I think that’s highly unlikely.” Stopping in front of him, she shifted the sleeping Ana and looked around. “How do you know so much about the jungle, anyway?”

  The momentary softness in his eyes disappeared. “It comes with the territory. I’ve spent a little time in jungles like this.”

  “Working for my father?”

  He gave her a curt nod. “That’s what I do, remember? I go where James Hollister sends me.”

  Spinning around, he began walking again. She wasn’t sure why she goaded him, but she needed to know for sure. “Is that why you’re here, Caine? Because my father sent you?”

  He stopped so abruptly that she almost ran into him. When he turned around, she could see the gleam in his bright blue eyes even in the dim light. “I already told you I didn’t come to get you because your father asked me to. Do you want to know why I’m here in San Rafael?”

  Her heart pounding, she slowly nodded.

  He took a step closer, and the clean scent of his sweat filled her senses. Heat seemed to ripple off his body and surround hers. “I’m here because you were a fever in my blood,” he said, staring down at her, holding her gaze with his. “I had eleven long months when I could think of nothing but you. You haunted me, day and night. I was obsessed with you, Lexie. Obsessed with wanting you.”

  He took a step closer. “And I didn’t want to be. I wanted to forget all about you, to erase your memory from my mind. I figured if I came down here to save your hide, seeing you again would cure me.” He straightened, and the fire went out of his eyes. “That’s why I’m here.”

  Standing taller, she held Ana close and forced herself to hold his eyes. “Maybe if we’re both lucky you’ll be successful,” she whispered, trying not to let him see her pain. Her hand tightened on her daughter. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

  He stared at her for a moment, as if taken by surprise at her response, then muttered, “You’re welcome.” Without another word he began walking again, and she squared her already aching shoulders and followed him.

  Why the hell had he said that to her? Caine fumed as he walked along, kicking at the branches in front of him. He hadn’t missed the pain she’d tried so desperately to hide. And he’d noticed the effort it had cost her to answer him in the same way.

  Because he wanted to hurt her, he acknowledged reluctantly. Every time he looked at the baby, he felt the same visceral kick of betrayal. She hadn’t told him, and it was apparent that she’d had no intention of telling him anytime in the near future.

  It brought back the painful memories he’d tried so hard to bury, and he didn’t like the feeling one damn bit. Even though he told himself that what his ex-wife had done was infinitely worse than Lexie’s crime, he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He’d lashed out, and now the sight of Lexie’s face, tight and full of pain, was going to haunt him for a long time.

  They walked for a while without speaking, surrounded only by the noises of the jungle. Already the screeching of the colorful macaws high in the treetops was becoming reassuringly familiar. Lexie trudged along in his wake, not saying anything. So far, she was doing a damn good job keeping up with him.

  He turned around to tell her so, and was shocked at the bleak expression on her face. She was looking down at the baby, and he could tell the kid was beginning to stir in the sling. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she glanced up at him, making her face carefully blank.

  “She’s waking up,” she said unnecessarily. He could see the squirming inside the shawl.

  “We’ll stop so you can feed her.” Taking his compass out again, he studied it and adjusted their course slightly. Then, scanning the area ahead of them, he nodded toward a spot in the distance. “There’s a place up ahead.”

  She didn’t say a thing. Cradling the baby with one hand, she followed him silently. By the time they reached the fallen tree he’d spotted, the baby was beginning to make impatient sounds.

  Lexie sank down onto the log and shrugged off her pack. Without even bothering to look at him, she opened her blouse and put the baby to her breast. He couldn’t stop himself from watching, and she gave no sign that she noticed.

  The inner curve of her breast was pearly white in the muted light. It looked fuller and heavier than he remembered, and a fierce longing shuddered through him. He wanted to hold it in his hand, to feel the weight of it resting against his palm.

  Feeling his lower body stir and tighten, he looked at her face to see if she’d noticed his reaction. She hadn’t. As she leaned back against a tree trunk, her eyes closed and lines of weariness tugged at her face.

  Disgusted with himself, he stood and turned around to pull a canteen out of his pack. Thank God she’d been too tired to see him make a fool of himself. Especially after he’d told her he’d come down here so he could forget about her.

  Taking a long drink from the canteen, he waited until she’d finished nursing the baby and had laid her on a blanket spread on the ground. “Do you want a drink?” he asked her.

  Startled, she looked up from her backpack, clutching a clean diaper in her hand. She licked her lips, and he felt himself tightening again.

  “Yes, I would.”

  Silently he handed her the canteen, and he watched as she drank deeply. Her mouth covered the place his had been just a moment ago, and he closed his eyes as heat pooled in his loins. Thank goodness he was wearing loose cotton pants. If he was lucky, she wouldn’t notice his condition.

  Tilting the canteen away from her mouth almost reluctantly, she handed it back to him. There was just a swallow of water left in the bottom. He was shocked at how much she’d drunk.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were so thirsty?” he demanded.

  She shrugged, looking away. “I knew you wanted to get as far from the road as possible before we stopped, and I knew we’d be stopping eventually so I could feed Ana. I figured I could wait.”

  The guilt that flooded him didn’t do anything to soothe his temper. “Dammit, Lexie, that was just plain stupid!” he exploded. “I can’t afford for you to get dehydrated. When you get thirsty, you need to drink.”

  She stood and shouldered her pack. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Next time I’ll try to have more considerat
ion,” she said coolly.

  The baby was still lying on the ground, waving her arms and legs again. Lexie didn’t look at him as she adjusted the shawl, then bent over to reach for her.

  He stopped her with one hand on her arm. “Just a minute.”

  Watching him warily, she slowly straightened. “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice stiff. “I didn’t mean it that way. I was worried about you, and it came out wrong.”

  “Don’t worry, you made your point. Next time I’ll ask when I get thirsty.”

  “There won’t be a next time. You’re going to carry the canteen. And you’re going to drink whenever you need to.” He wanted to do something, anything, to erase that remote look from her eyes. “Will you do that?”

  She watched him for a moment, then nodded as she turned away. “Yes, I will. I promise.”

  He watched in frustrated silence as she picked up the baby and laid her carefully in the shawl. Then, tightening the knot over her shoulder, she looked at him. “We’re ready to go.”

  Nodding once, he spun around and began to walk again. This was a new side of Lexie, he thought uneasily. He’d always known just what she was thinking, had always been able to predict her next words from the expression on her face. Right now, though, he had no idea what was going through her mind, and he didn’t like it. She’d never been able to shut him out like this before.

  But he’d never told her before that he didn’t want any part of her, either, he reminded himself. Calling himself an ugly name, he took out his compass again to make sure they were headed in the right direction.

  He couldn’t have it both ways, he realized. He looked back at Lexie, walking along behind him with her head down, watching where she put her feet. After he’d made it clear that he didn’t want any part of her, he couldn’t very well expect her to be open to him.