As she remembered the previous night, her face began to burn. Had her breasts begun to leak milk again, and had she been so aroused that she hadn’t even noticed? A quick check assured her that her blouse was still dry. She turned her head slowly to look at him, and when he saw her gaze he jerked his head in the other direction.
“It sounds like she needs to be fed again.”
He was right. Ana was grunting on the ground next to her, and it wouldn’t be long before her tiny cries erupted into full-fledged screams. Lexie had been so wrapped up in Caine and what they were doing, she hadn’t even noticed.
But Caine had heard. “I didn’t realize you were paying such close attention to Ana,” she said carefully.
He didn’t answer for a while. “I had forgotten all about her,” he finally muttered. “Good thing she started fussing when she did. We need to eat, too, and get moving.”
In one smooth movement he was on his knees and out the hole in the trunk of the tree. She paused as she unbuttoned her blouse to watch him go. Somehow, hearing Ana cry had stopped his desire cold. Apparently the baby was just as effective as a bucket of cold water would have been.
She couldn’t ignore the pain, but she told herself firmly that she could prevent it from happening again. She would just have to make sure that the intimacy of waking up together didn’t happen again. From now on she would sleep as far away from Caine as possible. It didn’t matter that waking up beside him had made her feel more secure and comforted than she had in a long time. It wasn’t worth the heartbreak that would inevitably follow.
The smell of coffee drifted into her hiding place, and her stomach contracted sharply, reminding her how meager her dinner had been the night before and how much her body needed food. Holding Ana against her shoulder, she crawled out into the dim light of the jungle dawn and saw Caine sitting beside a smoldering fire. Two bowls of steaming food sat on the ground next to him.
“Scrambled eggs and bacon,” he said, gesturing at the two bowls. “Come and join me.”
Her stomach twisted at the thought of eggs, but she knew she had no choice. She had to eat, so she would force them down. Setting Ana on the ground, she picked up the bowl without looking at the food inside. Her stomach quivered when she smelled the eggs, but she tried to ignore it as she glanced over at Caine.
“Did I smell coffee, or was my mind just playing cruel tricks on me?”
He passed her a steaming mug, and she took a sip gratefully. It was burning hot and very strong. If she was lucky, it would numb her mouth so she wouldn’t taste the eggs.
Fifteen minutes later she set down her empty bowl and reached for her coffee, taking a deep drink. Her stomach heaved once, but she forbade herself to be sick.
Staring at a piece of peeling bark on the tree in front of her, she waited until she could drink again, then took another gulp of the coffee. The queasiness was passing, but it would be a minute longer before she could trust herself.
“I’m sorry, Lexie,” Caine said suddenly.
She looked over at him, hoping she didn’t look as green as she felt. “What for?”
“I forgot you didn’t like eggs. Why didn’t you remind me?”
“It wasn’t like we had a whole lot of choice,” she said, glancing at his opened backpack. “You had already made it, and if I didn’t eat it we would have been short a meal.”
“Do you want something else to eat?”
“No, thanks.” She shuddered at the thought of putting anything else into her stomach right now. “The eggs are all I can handle.”
“We’d better get moving, then.”
He stood and began gathering the things that had fallen out of his pack. It was as if he had completely forgotten about what had passed between them just a short time ago inside that tree. Watching him for a moment, she felt something harden inside her. If he could be so casual about it, so could she.
“I’m going to clean up these dishes and get the diapers I left drying last night. Why don’t you gather your things together so we can leave when I get back?”
She nodded shortly and looked around for the shawl so she could settle Ana against her chest. He walked away without a backward glance, and after a moment she was alone in the jungle again.
Even in the dim light, it wasn’t nearly as scary as it had been during the night. Instead of frightening, even the smell—the damp, moist scent of decay—was beginning to seem familiar.
By the time Caine returned she was sitting propped against the tree, the sling tied across her chest and Ana lying on the ground next to her. The baby was tiny enough that she still spent most of her day sleeping, but she was awake now and Lexie didn’t want to confine her to the sling any sooner than necessary.
Caine paused by the tree, and when she glanced up at him she found him staring down at the baby. A look of what could only be described as yearning passed over his face for a moment, then his eyes were shuttered again. He looked at her.
“You ready to go? We need to make some distance today.”
Standing, she scooped Ana into her arms and tucked her into the sling, then swung her pack over her shoulders. “We’re ready.”
He moved behind her and tucked the clean diapers into her pack, then shouldered his own two backpacks. “Let’s go, then.”
She started after him obediently, wondering about the look she’d surprised on his face. Surely she was mistaken. He’d gone out of his way to avoid having anything to do with his daughter. What she’d thought was yearning was probably just regret—for the accident that had resulted in her birth.
It might have been accidental, but Ana’s birth was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Tightening her arm around her daughter, Lexie stared at the back of Caine’s head as she battled the tears filling her eyes.
No one—not even Caine—could ever convince her otherwise.
Chapter 8
Lexie took another drink of water from the canteen and replaced it on her pack. There were only a few more mouthfuls left in the bottom of the plastic bottle, and it wouldn’t be long before she would have to tell Caine that she needed more.
But that wasn’t the problem right now. The problem was her empty stomach and the painful contractions that reminded her it had been too long since she’d had enough to eat.
A vine lying half-buried in the dead leaves caught her foot and she stumbled, catching herself on a sturdy branch. The queasiness she’d felt at breakfast had long since passed, and she’d gone beyond the point of mere hunger hours ago. She knew they would have to stop for lunch soon, and she forced herself to keep walking, to keep putting one foot in front of the other and ignore the dizziness that swirled around her head.
“How are you doing?” Caine stopped abruptly and looked back at her.
“Okay,” she managed. “I’m going to need more water soon.”
“According to my map, we should be getting close to another stream. We’ll stop there for lunch and refill the canteens.”
She longed to ask him how long it would be, but realized it didn’t matter. They were moving a lot faster than she would have thought herself capable of, but then she’d never been chased by men trying to kill her, either. There was a lot to be said for a little motivation.
Another vine caught her foot, and she stumbled again. This time she went down onto her knees, and Caine spun around.
“What’s wrong?” He knelt next to her. “What happened?”
“I just tripped on a vine, that’s all,” she answered. She stood slowly, holding on to his hand, trying to will the dizziness away. “Maybe I need another drink of water.”
What she needed was food. She drank the last of the water in her canteen and screwed the top back on, then wiped her forehead with the tail of her blouse. Her hand was trembling, and she told herself it must be the heat. It had been getting steadily hotter and more humid, and now she felt like she was in a steam bath.
Caine watched her, a hint of uneasiness in his eyes. “Are you sure you�
��re all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said, as firmly as she could manage. “I’m just hot and hungry, but I can wait until we find this stream.”
He took another look at her, then moved behind her. “You walk in front for a while.” His arm rested on her shoulder as he pointed toward a lush patch of green in the distance. “See all those bushes? That should be the stream. Head toward that and you’ll be fine.”
She wanted to move away from the heat of his arm against her, but didn’t have the energy. “I see it.”
His arm dropped away and he cleared his throat. “It won’t be long before we stop. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”
“Positive.” She started walking again. Ana was still sound asleep, but she was due to wake up soon. With a little luck, she would stay asleep for just a while longer.
Fortunately there was still very little undergrowth in the jungle. She didn’t have the strength to push aside anything heavier than the dead leaves her feet shuffled through. Ana moved and stretched in the shawl across her chest, and Lexie tried to walk a little faster.
After another few minutes she realized they were getting closer to the stream. The bushes were getting thicker and closer together, and the trees were pressing in on her. The bark on several of them loomed in front of her, looking like layers of wide, sharp knives peeling away from the trunk. As she stared at one, mesmerized by the pattern, she lost her balance and began to fall.
She was so dizzy she felt as if she was floating down to the ground in slow motion. Trying to twist sideways so she wouldn’t fall on top of Ana, she lurched in the direction of one of the knife trees. Just as she braced herself for the impact, she felt Caine’s strong hands catching her.
A sharp, muffled curse exploded from him, then he eased her to the ground. “Lexie,” he gasped. “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing, dammit.” His voice was harsh with worry. “You were stumbling all over the path like a damn drunk.”
Closing her eyes, she waited until the trees above her stopped spinning around. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just hungry, Caine,” she finally said. “It’s making me dizzy.”
A string of oaths erupted from him. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner? I have plenty of food in my pack.”
She opened her eyes. “Not enough. I looked last night. You have enough meals for two more days. And I need to eat at least two of those meals at a time, maybe three,” she said bluntly.
Rocking back on his heels, he stared at her. “The hell you do. There are supposed to be enough calories in one of those meals for a man my size.”
“Maybe so.” Her mouth curved upward in a slight smile. “But it doesn’t say anything about a nursing woman, does it?”
His gaze drifted down to her breasts, then snapped back to her face. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that I need a lot more food.” Her voice was patient. “Since Ana was born I’ve been eating at least twice as much as I normally do, and that’s without. walking through the jungle all day.” She shrugged and looked away. “I figured I could make it until lunch.”
“And what were you going to do at lunch? Eat another meal, then start walking again, still hungry?” He sounded angry.
“I’m sorry I fell and slowed us down.” Her voice was stiff. “I thought I would eat more nuts with lunch. There’s a lot of protein in nuts.”
He didn’t say a word, and the silence boomed between them in the noisy jungle. When she finally looked at him, he was watching her with an indecipherable look in his eyes. “I’m not angry you slowed us down,” he said, but there was still anger in his voice. “I’m angry you didn’t say anything to me. Didn’t it occur to you that I could get more food?”
“I haven’t seen any supermarkets yet. Is there one on your map?” The sharpness of her words barely covered her embarrassment. He was right and she knew it. She should have said something earlier.
Instead of snapping back at her, he angled his body away from her to look around the forest. She was shocked to see the ghost of a grin in his eyes.
“We don’t need a supermarket to have a feast for lunch. Let’s get you and the kid settled and I’ll go shopping.”
He reached over with his right hand to pull her to her feet, then stopped. “Do you think you can make it another few yards? I’d rather not leave you here, out in the open.”
“Sure,” she said immediately. She hoped she was telling the truth. Holding Ana against her with one hand, she put her other hand into Caine’s and struggled to her feet.
Her legs felt like two strands of cooked spaghetti, but she fought the dizziness and finally nodded. “I’m fine.”
He watched her for a minute, worry in his eyes, then said abruptly, “Give me the kid. You’ll have a hard enough time trying to get yourself the next few feet without having to carry her.”
Her hand tightened instinctively around Ana, but she knew he was right. Besides, she didn’t want to take a chance on hurting the baby if she fell again. She started to untie the shawl, but he shook his head.
“Don’t bother with that. I’ll just carry her.”
Reluctantly she took the sleeping baby out of her makeshift carrier. She cradled Ana close for a moment, then slowly passed her over to Caine and placed her in his arms.
Every muscle in his body looked tense and tight. When he gazed down at his daughter’s face a flash of desperate longing appeared in his eyes, but it was gone almost before she saw it. He stared at Ana for a moment, then shifted her into the crook of his elbow. When he glanced up at Lexie, there was nothing in his eyes except a faint shadow of pain. “I’ll stay behind you. Just keep going straight ahead.”
As she turned to start walking, she noticed that he held Ana with only one arm while the other hung limply at his side. Remembering his sharp, bitten-off curse when he’d grabbed her as she fell and the way he’d angled that side away from her afterward, she stepped around him before he realized what she was doing.
There was a long, ragged gash on the back of his upper arm that oozed a steady stream of bright red blood. She sucked in her breath with a gasp. “Caine! What happened? Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”
“It’s nothing, Lexie. I fell against the tree with the sharp points on its bark.”
He tried to turn away from her, but she reached out and held him still, studying the cut. “It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What were you planning to do about this, anyway? Just let it bleed?” Her worry made her voice sharper than she’d intended.
“I guess I planned to do the same thing you did when you were hungry—not say anything and hope you wouldn’t notice.”
She flushed and let go of his arm, reaching for her pack at the same time. “At least I wasn’t dripping blood all over myself,” she muttered. Pulling out her medical kit, she opened it up and selected a roll of gauze. “I’ll wrap it up now so it doesn’t get any dirtier, and when we’ve gotten to where you want to stop, I’ll clean it and bandage it.”
“That’s not necessary,” he protested, but she ignored him.
“Don’t you know this hot, humid weather encourages infection?” she demanded, watching the wound as she tied the gauze around his arm. Dark red blood soaked through immediately, and she waited, worried, as the entire bandage slowly changed from white to red.
“Put your hand on top of your head,” she told him, and to her surprise he obediently rested his left hand on top of his head. “Can you walk like that for a while?”
“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll walk with one foot on my head, too.”
She turned to face him. “You don’t have to be sarcastic. I’m worried about that cut.”
His face relaxed, and a tender look softened his eyes as he watched her. “I know you are, Lexie, but it’s not a big deal. Believe me. I’ve had worse, and it’ll heal just fine.”
The tenderness in his eyes was causing a strange sensation in her chest. She turned abruptly away and began walking. “I know it will. But antibiot
ic ointment and clean bandages won’t hurt.”
Caine watched Lexie stalk away from him, amazed. She really was worried about an insignificant cut on his arm. But then, he told himself as he began walking behind her, she had no idea that he’d endured far worse in his long, wearing career.
He watched her march along in front of him and wondered when the righteous indignation that was carrying her would begin to fade. He didn’t think it would take long, and he was right. They hadn’t gone more than fifty feet when she began to slow down.
The undergrowth had gotten more and more lush as they approached the stream. Up until now, they’d been able to walk without clearing a path, but the bushes were beginning to close in and Lexie was obviously losing the fight against them. Looking around, he decided that the little clearing they were in now was as good a place to stop as any.
“Let’s stop here,” he called to Lexie, and she dropped to the ground immediately. She leaned back against a tree and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep, trembling breath. Finally her eyelids fluttered open and she held out her arms for the baby.
He glanced down at the child in his arms, who was still sleeping peacefully. He’d expected her to wake up bawling as soon as he’d taken her from her mother, but instead she’d nestied into the crook of his arm, yawned once, and never opened her eyes.
His arm tightened around the small bundle, and before he could control his reaction a sharp pang of loss stabbed through him. Clenching his teeth, he handed her abruptly to Lexie. Allowing himself to want to hold her was the first step on a very slippery slope—a slope he had no right to even think about, let alone set foot on.
“I’m going to find you something to eat.” His words came out more harshly than he’d intended, but he didn’t even try to soften them. It would be better for all of them if Lexie continued to think of him as the biggest bastard in the Western Hemisphere.
“What about your arm?” She sounded worried about him, and he turned around to look at her. She held the baby loosely in her arms as she leaned back against the tree again, her eyes closed once more.
To Save His Child Page 12
