“My arm can wait. It doesn’t look like your stomach can.”
At that she opened her eyes. “A few more minutes won’t make much difference,” she protested. “At least let me make sure the bleeding’s stopped.”
“Your hands are shaking so badly that you couldn’t do anything for me if you wanted to,” he said bluntly. “The first thing you have to do is eat something.” He opened his pack and found a bag of trail mix. “Here, try some of this. I’ll be back in a little while.”
Before she could think of a response he was gone, slipping silently into the green world that surrounded them.
A half hour later he stepped back into the small clearing, worried because he’d been gone so long. Lexie, her eyes closed, leaned up against the same tree, and if it hadn’t been for the baby lying on a blanket kicking her arms and legs, and the dirty diaper wrapped in a rubbery leaf, he would have wondered if she’d moved at all.
He watched her for a moment, trying to tell himself the worry he felt was simply irritation that she might have slowed them down. Then he turned away before he could do something really stupid, like bend down and kiss her.
“Lunch will be ready as soon as I get a fire going.” His voice was gruff and he didn’t wait to see her open her eyes. Scanning the little clearing, he gathered what he needed to start a small fire and prepared the agouti he’d caught.
“Agouti probably isn’t the most delectable meat, but it’s all I could get quickly.”
He heard her stir behind him. “I’m sure it’ll be wonderful.” She appeared at his side. “What can I do to help?”
“You can sit still and conserve your energy.”
He hadn’t meant to speak so sharply, and when he saw the hurt, quickly hidden, flash over her face, he gave a vicious jerk to the stick holding their lunch in place over the fire.
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” She’d turned her back to him, and he could see the tension vibrating in the straight line of her spine. “I’m sorry,” he said, more gently. “I only meant that I know what it feels like to be so desperately hungry that you’re dizzy and weak.”
She faced him then. “But I’ll bet you never let anyone else know you were that hungry, did you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Staring at him for a moment, measuring him with her gaze, she said quietly, “It means I feel like a fool for being so stupid. I know I could have hurt myself or Ana, or gotten you hurt worse than I did. I should have said something last night, and I know it.”
Slowly he reached out and pulled her to him with his right arm. “It’s all right, Lex. Everyone’s allowed a couple of screwups. This one is small potatoes.”
Her slight weight pressed against him, and he longed to bring his other arm around her and hold her close. To do that, though, would remind her of his injury, and he wanted her to forget all about that. So he sat still, forcing himself to be content with the limited contact.
“How long before lunch is ready?” she asked after a few minutes.
He glanced over at the roasting agouti. “It’ll be a little while yet. Why don’t I boil some water and we can eat the packaged stuff while we’re waiting?”
She moved away, and he could almost imagine that she did so reluctantly. To keep himself from thinking about it, he nodded at the baby. “What about her? Doesn’t she need to eat?”
“I fed her while you were gone. I know there isn’t anyone around who could hear, but it would make me nervous if she started screaming.”
Rather than dwell on the mental picture of Lexie feeding the baby, he focused on the rest of her statement. “Thanks. I doubt very much if there’s anyone close enough to hear her, but I’d rather not take any chances.”
He could feel Lexie’s eyes on him as he turned to check whether the water was boiling yet. After what seemed like a long time she asked softly, “Do you really think they’ll chase us through the jungle?”
“I don’t know,” he said frankly. “First they’d have to find the Jeep and the spot where we went in, then they’d have to track us. That would be a lot easier in the rainy season. Right now, there wouldn’t be much for them to see other than some disturbed dead leaves.”
He could almost see the tension fade from her body. “So, for now, we’re safe?”
“Probably. But we can’t count on it. The smart thing for our friend El Cuchillo to do would be to wait for us in Limores. He has to know that’s where we’re heading, and it would be a lot less work than trying to track us through the jungle. But he seems to be a pretty desperate guy.”
There was fear in her eyes as she looked at him. “He does, doesn’t he?” she whispered. “Why is he after me? I haven’t been out of Santa Ysabel for nine months. Why is he so intent on capturing me?”
“You’ve been here for ten months. What did you do before you got to Santa Ysabel?”
She shrugged. “Nothing, really. I spent more than a week in Limores, feeling—” She clamped her mouth shut abruptly and looked away from him. Finally she said carefully, “Feeling my way around the city and learning about the country. Then I started to travel. I visited some of the national parks, saw the volcanoes, did the usual tourist things. It was only by chance, really, that I ended up in Santa Ysabel.”
“How did you end up there?” he asked softly. He handed her a bowl of rehydrated chili and settled back against a tree.
She stilled and stared at one of the bushes for a long time. Then she slowly relaxed and took a bite of the food, although she didn’t turn around and look at him. “I had just planned to stay there for the night, in Maria’s inn. The place you were going to stay. When I woke up the next morning I was violently sick. I thought it was something I’d eaten the day before, or that I’d caught some kind of bug.”
As he watched her profile, he could see her lips curve up in a slight smile. “Maria and Angelita, one of her daughters-in-law, knew differently. I was the nurse, but they were far wiser in the ways of nature. They fussed over me and took care of me, and made me stay for another day. When I woke up sick the next morning, too, they acted like it was the most natural thing in the world.”
Now she really was smiling. “When they realized I didn’t know why I was sick, they thought it was hilarious. But they were kind to me. They explained I was sick because I was going to have a baby, and when they saw how shocked I was, they just kind of took over.” She shrugged and finally turned to him. “By the time I was feeling better, I’d already been there for over a month. My money had long since run out, but Maria and Angelita and the rest of the people in the village didn’t care. They took care of me because I needed help. That was when I began to grow up.”
“Is that when you decided to stay?”
Slowly she shook her head. “There never was a day when I said, ‘Okay, I’m going to stay here and do something for these people.’ It just kind of happened.” She gave him a strangely self-conscious half smile. “I was pretty much out of it the first couple of months after I realized I was pregnant. When I started to feel better, I understood what it had meant to the people who were taking care of me. Sometimes they had barely enough for their own families, let alone enough to share with a stranger who had just stumbled onto their village. I realized I couldn’t just stay and mooch off them, but I had become very fond of the village and the people. That’s when I began to think about what I could do so I could stay.”
“I didn’t even know you were a nurse, Lexie.”
She looked away again. “Like I said before, there were a lot of things you didn’t know about me. But as far as being a nurse is concerned, why would you? I wasn’t working, and it’s not the kind of subject that came up in the nightclubs in Washington where I hung out.”
“Why didn’t you work as a nurse when you were back in Washington?” he asked, curious. “It must have taken a lot of time and work to get through nursing school.”
“It did. And I wanted to work,” she answered frankly. “But I was
young and stupid. It didn’t even occur to me that my family and my father’s name would be taken into consideration when I went looking for a job. I was hired by the first hospital I applied to, at a much larger salary than normal for an entry-level nurse. I didn’t realize there was anything unusual going on, but it didn’t take my ‘colleagues’ long to enlighten me. When I looked for another job, the same thing happened. I’m still not sure what the hospitals hoped I could do for them, but it was easier not to work at all than face the scorn and gossip that followed me around.” She finished the last spoonful of her chili and set the bowl on the ground next to her. “I’ve since decided that I would much rather give vaccinations in Santa Ysabel than carry bedpans to rich, cranky patients, anyway.”
He hated to interrupt the flow of her memories by mentioning their present situation, but he had no choice. “And nothing happened in Santa Ysabel that would explain why El Cuchillo is after you?”
The tension flowed back into her muscles, stiffening her spine again. She glanced over at the baby, resting quietly on the ground and staring up at the tangle of vines above her. Then she looked back at him.
“Nothing that I can remember. Nothing that seemed out of the ordinary, anyway. Most of the people in Santa Ysabel work on the coffee plantations, and one day is very much like another.”
He leaned over and looked at the agouti, and decided it was ready to eat. “Then maybe he’s going after all Americans this way. Maybe there’s nothing unusual about this.”
“But you don’t think so, do you?” she asked, watching him with shrewd eyes.
He divided the agouti into two pieces and kept one small piece for himself. Giving her the rest, he finally met her eyes. “If he is, the guy’s a nutcase. And from everything I’ve heard, I don’t think he is. So I have to assume that he’s after you for some particular reason.”
She swallowed a piece of steaming meat and looked at him. “Could it have something to do with you? Nothing had happened until you came to Santa Ysabel.”
“I suppose it’s possible,” he said slowly, “but I doubt it. Whatever was going on was set in motion long before I rolled into town. I was only there for the tail end of it. Not even El Cuchillo could have gotten things organized in such a remote village in only a few hours.”
She shrugged again, finishing the meat he’d given her. “I don’t know what it is, then. I’ve racked my brain for the past two days, but I don’t remember anything.”
“It doesn’t really matter, anyway,” he said as he rose and reached for her bowl. “Whatever the reason, the bottom line is we have to get you out of the country.”
She glanced up at him, then let her gaze slide away. “You don’t think I’ll be safe in Limores?”
He froze, staring down at her. “What?” He couldn’t believe what he’d heard.
“I mean, once I’m in Limores, don’t you think I’ll be safe? It would be a lot harder to find someone in a big city than it would be in a little village.”
“I think you’re nuts, that’s what I think. After busting our butts to get out of here, do you honestly think I’ll let you stay in this country?”
“You won’t ‘let’ me do anything,” she said, her voice cold. “You have no right to dictate to me. I’ll make my own decisions.”
Lowering himself until he crouched in front of her, he set the bowls aside and reached for her shoulders. He wanted to shake her until he shook some sense into her, but he curled his fingers into her shoulders instead. “Use your head, Lexie,” he said, his voice urgent. “How long do you think it would take this guy to find you in Limores? A week, maybe? Two at the outside? This isn’t a game he’s playing. For some reason he thinks you’re a threat to him, and he has to get rid of you. Look at yourself. You don’t even look like a native. How well do you think you would blend in? How many of the people here have blond hair?” He looked over at the baby. “And kids with red hair?”
She paled as she glanced at her daughter. “It would be safer for Ana than trying to sneak out of the country. In a big city, nobody looks that closely at anyone else,” she muttered. “Especially a woman with a baby.”
“They’d notice, believe me. And it wouldn’t be long before El Cuchillo was knocking at your door. Except he probably wouldn’t knock. The guy doesn’t strike me as someone with an appreciation for good manners.”
She looked over at the baby again, then turned to him. “I’ll worry about that when we get there.” Her voice was firm. The discussion was obviously dosed. “Right now, I want to look at your arm.”
He glanced at his arm with surprise. He’d forgotten all about it. “I’m sure it’s fine. I don’t feel a thing anymore.”
“If you don’t let me take care of it, you’ll be feeling it again real soon. Take my word for it.”
She turned and searched through her pack, finally pulling out a small white plastic box. “Come here and sit down.”
“Don’t you have something else to do? Doesn’t the kid need anything?”
“Ana is fine right now.” She slanted him a calculating look. “What’s the matter, Caine? You can face down a jaguar, but not a woman with antibiotic ointment? You’re not afraid I’ll hurt you, are you?”
“I don’t like doctors,” he muttered, knowing his face was turning red. It was a stupid phobia, but he couldn’t help it. Not after what had happened on his last assignment.
“Then you should be fine, because I’m not a doctor. I’m a nurse, remember?”
When had she gotten that grin in her voice? He wanted to insist she leave him alone, that they gather their things and leave, but he knew she wouldn’t stand for it. Lexie could be stubborn as hell.
“Oh, all right,” he finally growled, sitting down so his injured arm was facing her. Staring at one of the trees, he tried to concentrate on the intricate pattern of swirls in the bark rather than on what she was doing to him.
Her hands were surprisingly gentle on his arm. “I’ll have to pull a little for a minute,” she said, her voice breathless, as if she was holding back a gasp. “The bandage is stuck to your skin.”
He clenched his teeth and stared at the tree, trying to count the whorls in the bark. There was a tiny tug on his skin, then he felt nothing at all. “It’ll be worse if you try to go slow. Just get it over with,” he said through his teeth.
“It is over.” He could hear the hint of laughter in her voice. “The bandage is off and now I’m going to clean it up.”
She must have sensed his tension, because she kept up a soothing monologue as she gently bathed the wound with the warm water they had left from their lunch. She told him which animals and birds she’d seen, and how many different kinds of trees and bushes she’d noticed. The whole time, her hands moved lightly against his wound, so lightly that he barely noticed the pain. Or maybe she was hypnotizing him with her soft, musical voice. All he knew was that instead of feeling helpless and out of control, her gentle touch and crooning voice were entangling him in a sensual web from which he had no desire to free himself.
Her hands and voice faltered, then stilled. He heard her take a slow breath, then she said, “I’m going to have to suture this, Caine. It’s too deep to just bandage it.”
“So do it,” he answered roughly.
“The thing is, I don’t have any local anesthetic.” She took another slow breath. “I have the suture material and needles, but I can’t numb it for you.”
“Sew it up, Lexie. We need to get moving again.”
He felt her hands trembling on his arm, then she took them away. “All right. I’ll try to make it as quick as possible.”
He didn’t look as she fumbled in her box or when he heard the sound of paper being torn. But he couldn’t bear not knowing what was going to happen. “What’s that noise?”
“It’s just the needle and suture material. They come prepackaged in a sterile container.” She sounded as eager to talk about the objective details as he was to hear her voice.
Something c
ool and wet touched his arm, then she said, “I’m all set. Are you ready?”
Her voice trembled just slightly, and he nodded once. “Go ahead.”
She touched him tentatively, then suddenly grasped his arm and held him steady. The pain was sharp, but lasted for only a second. It was followed by another sharp, piercing pain that was over just as quickly.
“The first one is in.” He heard her swallow. “It looks like it’ll take about four more.”
He forced himself to look over his shoulder. His gaze caught her eyes and he refused to glance down at the wound. “It wasn’t that bad, honey. Go ahead and finish it up. I’ll survive.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Who knows, maybe the suffering will make me a better person.”
The pain came again, short and sharp, and he allowed himself to relax. He’d told her the truth. It wasn’t all that bad. He’d survived much worse.
“Will you tell me about it sometime?” she asked softly after the next suture was in place.
“Tell you about what?”
“Whatever happened to you to make you afraid of doctors and medical procedures?”
“I’m not afraid. I just don’t like not being in control of my body.” His voice was more forceful than he’d intended.
She didn’t answer for a long time. Finally she said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I had no right to intrude.”
He longed to tell her that he wanted her to have the right, but he couldn’t open his mouth. Fear held his jaw clamped shut. The Lexie he’d found here in a South American jungle was as different from the Lexie of Washington as two people could get, and he was frightened of that difference. He’d had his armor firmly in place against that other Lexie, but this one made him feel defenseless. And he didn’t like feeling that way.
“Are you just about finished there?” he demanded roughly.
“I’m tying the last stitch.” Her voice sounded cool, and he told himself to be thankful. For a while their barriers had been down. She’d told him about her feelings for Santa Ysabel, and she’d uncovered his hidden fear. It was much safer to pretend that neither had ever happened.
To Save His Child Page 13
