Getting to Happy

by Terry McMillan

  “Not this. It’s illegal and they cracking down and we in no way, shape or form are interested in seeing the inside of nobody’s jail over this bullmess. You know we twins? Fraternal. Anyway, we gotta get real jobs or our moms said we gots to move outta her crib. College may not be in our cards, but we might be looking into trade schools.”

  “I hope so. For both of your sakes. Please tell Marvin we wish him all the best.”

  “Will do. Hold up. As our way of saying sayonara, we got a few freebies you can choose from. Is that all right, Miss Gloria?”

  “That’s fine, baby. And thank you for being so nice. I’ve gotta run or I’m going to be late.”

  “Well, for the little ones we got The Aristocats, The Bad News Bears—”

  “Hold on a minute, son.” Gloria raised her hand. “I’ll take those two. What else do you have in that bag?” she asked as she put all her weight on one leg and her hand on her hip.

  “Well, Miss Gloria—and clientele and employees—we’ve got Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Wedding Crashers, The Fantastic Four, Hustle and Flow, Happy Endings and, just in this morning, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Yours for the asking.”

  “I’ll take one of each. Here.” Gloria whipped out two one-hundred-dollar bills and handed them to one of the twins. “Split it three ways and if I find out you didn’t, I will personally go over to ASU and sit on that campus until Marvin walks by me and I’ll ask him myself!” She started laughing, and then they started laughing and then Joseph along with Joline and Twyla and everybody else started cracking up, too. Nobody was doing hair or nails or pedicures. They were too busy rummaging through those satchels as if they were on a scavenger hunt.

  “Thank you, Miss Gloria,” the young men said and politely put those bills in their pockets. “Good luck to you at your new spot. We’ll tell everybody we know with some money to come see you guys when they need to get their hair did and when their feet and nails is toe-up. You know they come in large numbers. Peace out,” one of them said as they walked out the front door with two fingers above each head.

  Gloria hadn’t told anybody where she was going, not even her new partner. She still liked the sound of that—partner—but no one more than Joseph. He told just about everybody who walked in the front door. “Do be on the lookout for me and my partner’s new salon.” And: “Never been to Oasis before? Let me introduce you to my partner, Gloria Matthews-King.” Gloria had almost forgotten her maiden name was Matthews. She wondered if she would ever have a reason to stop using King. She couldn’t imagine it.

  As she gathered up her DVDs, Gloria was a little nervous for a number of reasons. She had a check in her purse for $300,000. It had been in a drawer at home ever since the insurance company sent it to her months ago. She never bothered to deposit it. There was no reason to. Now that Tarik was going to be a single parent, he needed all the help he could get. Although he had balked at the idea, Gloria was going to give half of it to him for obvious reasons. He was planning to finish up those last nine units to get his master’s in criminology, but until then, one income wasn’t enough to feed, clothe and educate three kids. Make that four, since Tarik had filed for temporary custody of Brass. Adoption papers were next.

  Gloria also intended to pay off that boat even though Tarik insisted they sell it. She put up a fuss until he insisted she name it, which she did: What’s Going On? What else could she call it? She had also agreed it was time she set foot on it, and today was the day. She wouldn’t fall apart; at least, she didn’t think she would. She needed to do this. Just like she needed to take off her wedding ring. She had picked up the pendant a few days ago and was wearing it right now.

  They were taking the kids fishing in a few hours and Gloria was going to surprise them. Last night she bought Diamond a pink-and-lavender Little Mermaid pole. Blaze, a black-and-white Dalmatians one. Stone, who was all of eight now, got Spider-Man. She bought a real one for Brass, even though she would soon find out that he had a special type since he and Tarik were serious about this whole fishing thing.

  She was also going to send five thousand of her money for the Katrina victims. Savannah had sent her a link to the same website she, Robin, Michael and Bernadine—who sent what she could—had all used.

  Gloria was setting aside a nice sum to guarantee Oasis was going to be one of the hippest, sexiest, up-to-the-minute-state-of-the-art salon-and-spas in Phoenix. Her partner was matching this amount. The workstations were being custom-made by some guy who ripped off Italian designers. The website was going to be “off the hook,” thanks to her nephew John Jr. Years ago when she had a bar, most of the clients thought “open bar” meant “never closed.” She closed it. Some folks were often sipping and no one knew who they were. But times had changed. Gloria and Joseph decided that most of those young alcoholics were now middle-aged and their credit cards didn’t get declined, not to mention that they acquired something that can come with age when you do in fact mature, and it is called discretion.

  Everybody was excited about the new all-natural hair and skin product lines, not to mention unique jewelry (some of which would be made by Ms. Sparrow), and if all went according to plan, Gloria and Joseph were considering interviewing four new stylists.

  “I’ll see you guys tomorrow afternoon,” she said and waved to everybody.

  Her first stop was Weight Watchers. To weigh in. Nothing lost yet, but that’s okay. Soon.

  Next, she drove to Good Vibrations and parked right in front.

  “Welcome back,” the same young woman who was there before said.

  “I can’t believe you remember me,” Gloria said.

  “Sista, I never forget a face.”

  When Gloria pulled up to the dock with the little fishing poles in tow, the kids ran toward her, then stopped and stared at their poles as if they were something foreign. “What’s that, Gawa?” Blaze asked. Lord is she getting tall, Gloria thought.

  “I think they’re called fishing poles,” Gloria said.

  Diamond smiled and walked over to Gloria and stood on her toes. “Thank you,” she whispered as they both ran back toward Tarik and the boys. They were standing on the pier with their lines already in the water. “Hey, Ma,” Tarik said. “We might have to stop by Fish and Chips tonight because you know not much is running this time of year.”

  “Gawa, is that a Spider-Man fishing pole?” Stone asked.

  “Sure looks like it,” she said.

  And Brass, who, at fourteen, was now almost as tall as Tarik—six feet and a few inches—walked over and gave Gloria a hug. “Hi, Grandma,” he said. She held out a grown-up pole for him. “Oh wow!” he said, and instantly became eight years old again. “Dad, check this out! You must have spent a mint on this, Grandma! This is sweeeeet!”

  “Ma, where’s mine?” Tarik asked and winked at her.

  Gloria smiled but couldn’t take her eyes off the boat, which was over to their left. After they helped the kids get their little poles assembled—which didn’t take much—Gloria decided to walk over to take a look at the boat while they fished. “I’ll be right back,” she said to them.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you, Ma?”

  “I’ll come with you, Gawa,” Blaze said and dropped her pole on the rocks.

  “No, it’s okay. Gawa would like to go on the boat alone, if you don’t mind. Please pick up that fishing pole, Blaze. Money does not grow on trees.”

  “No, it does not!” Diamond yelled and then giggled.

  Blaze did exactly as she was told but stuck her tongue out at Diamond. The boys were staring into the water as if they could will the fish to jump on the end of their lines.

  As Gloria got near the boat, she looked at the name What’s Going On? and smiled. She ran her hands across the smooth wood and walked up the ramp until she was standing on the boat. Her heartbeat was steady. In fact, as she walked around the deck and headed below, Gloria was calm. She sat on the little sofa and rubbed the cushion, feeling the thick threads
that formed the tapestry. “Marvin, you would’ve liked this boat, baby,” she said. “But guess what? I like it, too. I wish you were here to enjoy it. You’re probably on a golf course up there. Just do me a favor, baby. Every time you see Tarik taking this boat out, know you’re welcome to come aboard.”

  And she got up.

  “Gawa, where are you?” Blaze asked, ducking her head until she saw Gloria.

  “Ma, you all right down there?” Tarik asked, coming down the steps behind Blaze, with Diamond on his back. Stone and Brass stood behind them.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Really, I am.”

  “Good,” he said.

  “So, how many did you guys catch so far?”

  “That would be a negative,” Brass said. “But ask us if we care?”

  Breathe

  “I knew I wasn’t going to like yoga,” Savannah says to her girlfriends. They’re heading toward the parking lot. They’ve just finished taking a yoga class.

  “It was hard doing that stuff,” Gloria says. “I was embarrassed as hell when I fell over trying to do that doggie pose.”

  “It was kind of funny, Glo,” Robin says. “But I didn’t laugh. Just so you know.”

  “Savannah,” Bernadine says. “You and Robin have been saying you wanted to try yoga for months. So stop whining.”

  “I liked it,” Robin said.

  “Because you’re already flexible, that’s why,” Savannah says. “Why was everybody so serious? You’d think they’d at least crack a smile doing those poses, since yoga’s supposed to make you feel so good.”

  “You smile from inside,” Bernadine says.

  “You need to stop talking like this,” Savannah says.

  “You are going a little far,” Robin says.

  “First of all, Bernie, we know you got off doing this New Age stuff when you were in rehab, and we know yoga is all the rage and it’s good for the soul and everything, but don’t expect us to just fall in place on our very first time, damn,” Savannah says.

  “You’re right.”

  “Plus, you told us the class was for beginners,” Gloria says.

  “You were supposed to do as much as you could. Didn’t you hear the teacher? She showed you how to modify the poses.”

  “Why was her voice so soft?” Robin asks.

  “She was talking to us in her ‘inside’ voice. That’s what I tell my grandkids to use. It did seem a little weird hearing a grown-up talking like that.”

  “I could barely hear her,” Savannah says.

  “Because you weren’t listening,” Bernadine says.

  “She was whispering.”

  “What I really liked was when she sprayed that little mist of lavender water on us as we were leaving,” Gloria says.

  “I liked that, too,” Savannah says.

  “I don’t think yoga is my cup of tea, though,” Gloria says.

  “I’m definitely coming back,” Robin says.

  “I’m not saying I wouldn’t try it again. I suppose I need to be more open-minded,” Savannah says.

  “Anyway, I’ll meet you guys at my house,” Bernadine says.

  “How long will it take us to learn how to meditate?” Gloria asks.

  “Yeah, Swami Bernie,” Savannah says. “You promised us lunch after our morning of spiritual enlightenment.”

  “Ten minutes,” Bernadine says.

  “Okay, so the first thing you do is close your eyes, inhale and then exhale.”

  “You know, I think this is the major reason we’re all alive, Bernie,” Savannah says.

  Robin giggles. They’re sitting on Bernadine’s kitchen chairs, which have been pulled away from the table.

  “She’s got a point,” Gloria says. “What’s the trick to doing this?”

  “There is no trick. If you guys would shut the hell up long enough so I can finish showing you, maybe we could all see what it feels like to be relaxed.”

  “I am relaxed,” Gloria says.

  “I am, too,” Savannah says.

  “I’m a little hyper myself,” Robin says. “You guys, stop messing with Bernie. This is kind of a big deal to her. Besides, people in India have been doing this and yoga for centuries, so there must be something to it. Keep going, Bernie.”

  “Okay, so the whole idea is to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Do it slowly.”

  “How many times?” Robin asks.

  “You don’t count, Robin. Anyway, if you guys would just let me finish explaining, we can try it and you can see for yourself how it makes you feel.”

  “Can’t see if your eyes are closed,” Savannah says. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Okay,” she says. “I’m being quiet and paying attention.”

  “So when you inhale, try to do it on the count of four. And when you exhale, on the count of seven.”

  “Why’d you change the guidelines already?” Gloria asks.

  “I’m not answering that. Anyway, the idea is to focus on each breath. All you want to do is keep your mind on your breathing.”

  “How are we supposed to do that?” Savannah asks.

  “By trying it, Savannah. This is the deal. Your mind is going to jump all over the place. The idea is each time it happens, bring your focus back to your breathing. And that’s it.”

  “That’s it?” Robin asks.

  “I can do that,” Gloria says.

  “Let’s try it,” Savannah says. “Wait. Why do we want to do this again?”

  “I told you to Google it so I wouldn’t have to explain it.”

  “I forgot,” Savannah says.

  “Me, too,” Robin says.

  “I made a mistake and looked up mediate instead of meditate, and then Diamond fell and busted her lip, so I never got back around to it.”

  “Is this the same way you did it in rehab?” Robin asks.

  “At first.”

  “I just want to know what they showed you that’s made you such a believer,” Savannah says.

  “All the yoga teacher kept telling us to do was focus on our breathing, too. So there’s something to this whole breathing thing. What is it? Break it down so we know what we’re supposed to be looking for,” Robin says.

  “That’s just it. You’re not supposed to be looking for anything. At first we did the breathing exercise I just described. But then they told us to become aware of our thoughts and especially the disturbing ones.”

  “Like what?” Robin asked.

  “Like when you feel anger and hurt and resentment and worry and fear, to name a few. Anyway, they told us to imagine that when we inhale, we’re breathing in hope and vitality, and when we exhale, we’re breathing out hurt and anger. You can breathe in faith and confidence and breathe out doubt and despair. And so on.”

  “No shit,” Savannah says. “And you think it works?”

  “I don’t hate James.”

  “You mean you forgave him?” Robin asks.

  “I didn’t make a conscious decision. I just didn’t feel any of it the more I did this. I can’t explain it.”

  “You don’t have to,” Savannah says.

  “So this is why you’ve been so upbeat since you’ve been home,” Gloria says.

  “It’s not magic. All I know is when you do this breathing exercise, especially on a daily basis, you feel more focused and relaxed and even jazzed. There’s lots of different ways people meditate. All I know is it helps me concentrate better and think clearer, and I have a helluva lot more energy. Anyway, that’s pretty much it.”

  “How long are you supposed to do it?” Gloria asks.

  “There’s no specific time. Some people do it for five minutes at a time two and three times a day. We started out doing it a couple of minutes. By the time I left, I was up to fifteen.”

  “You mean, just sitting there breathing?” Robin asks.

  Bernadine nods.

  “Let’s try it again,” Robin says.

  “This seems a lot easier than yoga,” Savannah says.

  “
Okay, so you want to sit up straight and maybe put your hands in your lap, palms up.”

  “Why?” Robin asks.

  Bernadine lets out a long sigh. “Just do it.”

  “How about some meditation music,” Savannah says.

  “Yeah, that would definitely stop my mind from drifting,” Gloria says.

  “I don’t have any,” Bernadine says. “We don’t need music.”

  “Whatever,” Savannah says.

  “Okay. Let’s try it for three minutes,” Bernadine says. “Close your eyes and breathe.”

  Everybody does.

  Robin peeks at Savannah and Gloria to see if their eyes are closed. They are, so she closes hers. She sees herself standing in front of a classroom. She’s laughing at something one of the kids said. Michael’s swimming in the ocean. He’s got on too much sunblock. Someone hands her a mojito. It’s the best she’s ever had. Did I pay my cell phone bill? Sparrow’s throwing another party. Russell’s at the door. Admission is a dollar.

  Gloria is smiling. Her new salon is the bomb. People are flocking in. Marvin Gaye is singing “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” Gloria is popping her fingers. Is that her on the TV? She’s now a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. She goes to visit Nickida. Opens her eyes. No frigging way. Closes them. “Has it been three minutes yet? My mind is jumping around like crazy.”

  Savannah is snoring.

  “Wake her ass up,” Bernadine says. “It’s been five minutes.”

  “Wow,” Savannah says. She opens her eyes as if she’s waking up from a good dream. “I’m calm as can be. I’ll do this again. At home. Without an audience.”

  “What about that kitten?” Robin asks.

  “She doesn’t judge,” Savannah says.

  “Okay, so we’ve done yoga and we’ve meditated. Can we please eat now?” Gloria asks.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” Bernadine says.

  White Dress

  “This better be the one!” Bernadine says.

  “Hurry up! We don’t have all day!” Savannah says.

  “Both of you, be quiet,” Gloria whispers as she shoves Savannah, who in turn bumps into Bernadine.