Her Favorite Duke

by Jess Michaels

  He was wrinkled and disheveled and his hair stuck up at odd angles. But he was perfect and beautiful, and her mind spun on the feel of his full lips on hers.

  “Meg?” James stepped toward her and she pushed the other thoughts from her mind. His expression was gentler now than it had been when she entered the bedroom. He touched her cheek. “It’s going to be all right.”

  Those words, those lies, broke her and she stepped into his arms. He smoothed his hands along her back as she said, “No. No, it won’t be. I know it can’t be. Not for a long time.”

  He let her shake in his arms for a moment before he drew back and smiled at her. “We will work this out, Meg. I promise you, and you know I never break my promises. Now, come. Emma has been worried sick. There is a carriage just through the woods on the road, and you and I will ride back to the estate together in it.”

  “A carriage?” she repeated in confusion. “Why a carriage?”

  Some of the color left James’s face. “Each search party took a carriage just in case someone found you…hurt and the vehicle was needed to rush you to a doctor.”

  Meg’s lips parted as she stared at her brother’s ashen face. “Oh, Jamie.”

  He shook his head. “You are well. Both of you. That is all that matters now.”

  She glanced over her shoulder. Simon was following them outside, silent and grim. “What about Simon? Will he ride in the carriage with us?”

  “No, Simon will ride my horse back,” James said, sending him a pointed look. “He needs air to clear his head.”

  Simon jerked out a swift nod, but still he was silent. It was amazing how much that silence meant. Usually Simon was the first to crack a joke and lighten the mood. There was nothing jovial on is face now. It was like he was another person.

  Just as he had been right before he kissed her.

  James took her arm and led her from the cottage. As they passed by Simon, she hesitated. “I-I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  She expected, hoped, that he would respond to her. But he merely inclined his head and watched her go. Outside it was a bright and sunny morning, and she flinched at the stark light of it. James’s horse was standing before the door and Simon caught the reins and led it through the woods until they reached the road. There a carriage awaited, driven by a servant who did not look at her as James opened the carriage door.

  Simon looked, though. He watched as James helped her up into the carriage. The last glance she had was of him watching their vehicle drive away. She flopped back against the seat, closing her eyes briefly as she prepared for the lecture James was sure to give.

  But he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t speak for almost ten full minutes, but let her sit, bombarded by her own thoughts and fears and memories.

  Finally, he cleared his throat. “I may have made a mistake, arranging a marriage without consulting you.”

  Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at her brother. James was leaning forward, his elbows draped across his knees, his face drawn and taut.

  This was a subject they had never addressed. What could she say once the deed was done, after all? But now he had opened the door, most unexpectedly, and she decided to take a deep breath and walk through it.

  “Why did you?” she asked, thinking back to the blunt words between James and Simon earlier. James’s accusations about Simon’s behavior. She flinched.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “God, Meg, I was so new at being duke. I worried every moment of every day that I’d fail.”

  “Like Father claimed you would,” she whispered, reaching across to take his hand.

  He nodded and the pain of the past flitted across his face. She had not seen that reflection in months. His relationship with Emma had tempered it greatly.

  “I didn’t care if I cocked it up for myself,” he continued. “At that point, I was ready to run the title into the ground just to destroy the only thing that bastard ever truly loved. But I had you to think of. If I failed, you would be hurt, even destroyed. I didn’t want that. A marriage…” He trailed off.

  She sighed, for she understood what he didn’t say. “A marriage would keep me safe. Especially one to a powerful duke. An old friend.”

  “That was exactly my thinking. I was so wrapped up in how it would help you that I didn’t ever think of the harm it might do.”

  She ignored that statement for a moment and examined him closely. “And why did you pick Graham rather than Simon? Or any of your other friends, for that matter. You certainly had a plethora of dukes to pick from in your arrangements.”

  “A gaggle,” he said with a soft smile. “Emma says a group of dukes is a gaggle.”

  She grinned despite the situation. “Well, Emma is always right. But I want to know the answer to my question.”

  He nodded. “You deserve it. I never considered anyone but Simon or Graham when the idea struck me. We were the closest of our group. But Simon—” He stopped and she froze, knowing he was thinking of the things he had said. Things he wouldn’t say to her out of respect for her innocence.

  “What?” she pressed, wanting to hear him say those things.

  But he didn’t. “I though Graham would be the steadier choice.” He looked out the window, and she could see they were almost back to the house now. Without the rain and with his best mounts leading the carriages, it was a much quicker return. “Meg, I’m so very sorry.”

  “Oh Jamie, I know you only ever wanted what was best for me,” she whispered, tears escaping when she tried to hold them back. “And I should have told you a long time ago that I-I—”

  He pressed his lips together. “Are you in love with Simon?”

  She nodded, relieved she didn’t have to say those words to him. She searched his face, looking for his disappointment or his censure. But there was none. He only looked heartbroken. For her. But also for the friendships that had been destroyed in one stormy night.

  She had done that.

  The carriage stopped and James reached out to wipe a tear from her cheek. “Well, my dearest, you may get your wish and have Simon.”

  Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

  He leaned back and stared at her. “If it were only us, our friends, who found you…but we weren’t. Baxton and Graham rode back ahead, and the viscount has probably already started spreading the worst version of what was seen today at the cottage. It is so big a scandal—”

  Her lips parted. “Graham will not want to continue the engagement. Not that I can blame him. He was so very angry.”

  James nodded. “It is the betrayal, I think. Simon’s.”

  She bent her head. The idea that her engagement to Graham would end and that she might end up with Simon instead had long been a dream of hers. But now it was a nightmare because of the actions that had brought them here.

  “Oh God, James, the cost.”

  He smiled, trying to be reassuring, she thought, but failing. “We will have plenty of time to count the cost, Meg,” he said as the carriage door opened and he stepped down. He reached back in to help her and squeezed her hand gently as she gave it to him. “For now, come. There will be a gauntlet. Your disappearance with Simon was quite the talk last night. I would not be surprised if most of the house is not up to wait to see what the outcome will be. Baxton and Graham’s return will have only made that worse.”

  She lifted her chin as she exited the vehicle, and as she cast her gaze up to the house she found James’s warning was a prescient one. Almost every window that overlooked the drive had a face peering from it.

  Her heart sank as she took her brother’s arm and let him lead her up the stairs. As they entered the foyer, she jolted. Emma was waiting there, and her pale face lit up as she rushed to embrace Meg.

  “We were so worried,” Emma whispered close to her ear.

  “I’m sorry,” Meg all but sobbed. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “Hush,” Emma reassured her, wrapping an arm around her a
nd drawing her close.

  She lifted her gaze to James and he leaned in to kiss his wife’s cheek. Meg saw the unspoken communication between them. Felt her brother relax a fraction just from being in Emma’s presence.

  “How bad?” he said softly.

  Emma pursed her lips. “Bad enough. Made worse when Baxton and Graham returned. Baxton went straight to the largest group of people to whisper what he saw. Graham went straight to your office, and judging from the crashing, I assume he has destroyed most of your glassware.”

  James flinched, as did Meg. Before either could respond, Simon came through the door. Emma smiled at him as Meg stared. His nose was still red and his expression was empty.

  “Hello, Simon,” Emma said softly. “I’m so glad you’re safe. Thank you for keeping Meg safe, as well.”

  Simon seemed surprised, but he inclined his head. “I’m sorry to cause so much trouble, Emma.”

  She shrugged. “Trouble will come and go. That is the way of the world.”

  James glanced over his shoulder toward the hall that led to his office. “Graham will want an accounting.”

  Emma lifted her eyebrows. “I assume he will. But he can wait for it. I’m taking Meg upstairs to change. I think Simon should do the same. If you want to tell him he’ll be joined in an hour, I think that would be best.”

  James pondered that. “I’ll tell him. And if he gives me trouble, I’m sending for you.”

  “If he gives you trouble,” Emma said as she took Meg’s hand and started up the stairs with her, “he won’t want me to come in. Be sure he understands that.”

  James stared up at her, his expression pure love as he called out, “I will.”

  Meg smiled at their connection. Her brother deserved nothing less than the love he had found with her friend. But in that moment, it only made her situation more stark. For when she looked at Simon, he didn’t return her stare. He stayed at the bottom of the stairs, and it felt like she was leaving for far more than a mere moment.

  It felt like this was a forever kind of goodbye.

  Chapter Seven

  Almost an hour after his return to the house, Simon was bathed and shaved, and now he stood in front of the mirror, his valet smoothing his waistcoat of all wrinkles and straightening the already perfect knot of his cravat.

  “The black jacket?” Swanson asked as he stepped away and lifted his choice for judgment.

  “Why not? It matches the bruises,” Simon said, staring at his reflection.

  Since his return to the house, his nose had swollen and dark bruises were beginning to spread up to his eyes. They were a clear indication that it was broken from Graham’s well-placed punch earlier in the day. That would certainly not help with the talk around the party, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

  Aside from the broken nose, Simon felt he looked well put together. He would need to be. He was about to face a firing squad. And once it was over, he would likely be hastened into a quick marriage.

  A fact he didn’t want to thrill at. He shouldn’t. He didn’t deserve to be happy over this stolen future with Meg when he had caused such heartache to people he’d called his brothers for decades. When he had caused such damage to her.

  As Swanson slid the jacket over his shoulders, there was a sudden pounding at the door. Both men turned toward the sound, and Simon’s heart sank. No servant would bang so loudly, nor would James if he’d simply come to check on Simon’s progress before the final showdown.

  Which left only one option for the person behind the door.

  “Let him in,” he said to Swanson. “And then you may go.”

  His valet looked uncertain, but didn’t argue the point as he moved to the door and opened it to reveal Graham standing outside. Simon shifted his shoulders back and forced himself to meet his friend’s eyes as Swanson edged past, his expression filled with worry at the tension that now coursed between the men.

  “Come in,” Simon said when Graham didn’t move.

  Graham’s eyebrow arched. “Inviting me inside like nothing happened?”

  Simon drew a sharp breath at the cold, hard quality of Graham’s tone. He fought to keep his own neutral. “No, there’s no way I can look into the mirror and not know what happened earlier.”

  “You want me to apologize for breaking your pretty face?” Graham drawled.

  “No. I want you to come inside because there are likely a dozen listening ears in the hallway,” Simon said through clenched teeth. “And I think whatever you have to say requires privacy.”

  “Privacy. Yes, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? What you did last night with my fiancée required privacy, didn’t it? And you bloody well arranged a situation where you’d have it,” Graham hissed as he came inside the room and slammed the door behind him, hard enough that one of the portraits on the wall fell clattering to the wooden floor.

  Neither man moved to retrieve it, but they stood staring at each other. Simon struggled to find words to say to Graham, but it was almost impossible. His friend’s words were true, at least to some extent. Simon hated himself for it.

  “You’re angry, Graham,” Simon said softly. “And you have every right to be. I’m not making excuses for what I did last night. For what you stumbled upon this morning.”

  Graham laughed, but it was a hard, angry sound that crackled through the room. “But?”

  Simon clenched his fists at his sides. “Nothing happened,” he said. “Nothing happened. You must know me well enough to trust me when I tell you that, looking into your eyes.”

  Graham shook his head slowly. “I think it may be that I didn’t know you at all. Nor her, it seems.”

  Simon stiffened. “If you want to be angry at me, slander me, go ahead. I deserve it, I can take it. But stop including her in this. Meg was not at fault.”

  “You two,” Graham breathed. “Always thick as thieves. Always turning toward each other, whispering and giggling, dancing.”

  Simon clenched his jaw. “You don’t like to dance, Meg does. It’s the only reason—”

  “Clearly not the only reason,” Graham interrupted.

  Simon bent his head. “I suppose not.”

  “James came in to talk to me. To say that you two needed to tidy up after your dirty little night together and that I had to wait for my satisfaction. He’s trying to make me feel better, you see, by telling me he believes there have been feelings between you for years.”

  Simon flinched. “I wish he had let me tell you that myself. And why aren’t you still with him? I can’t imagine he sent you up here to have this conversation while you’re in this mindset.”

  “He didn’t,” Graham conceded. “He went to talk to Baxton. Apparently the viscount is spreading the story around the entire party. I don’t know why James is bothering to put a stop to him. Once Baxton said that kind of gossip out loud, there was no way it wasn’t going to spread like wildfire.”

  “No,” Simon whispered, hating himself. “It’s too good.”

  Graham tilted his head and looked at Simon closer. “It is, isn’t it? After all, how often do two dukes, friends since they were children, fight over another duke’s sister? How often does one of those dukes and said sister slide behind the other’s back and…what did you tell me? Do nothing together. Do nothing while naked.”

  Simon gritted his teeth harder. Graham was spoiling for a fight and he was baiting Simon now, saying everything he could to make Simon start it. And it was working, for Simon was starting to want nothing more than to return the punch that had broken his nose earlier.

  “Stop, please,” he whispered.

  Graham shook his head. “Did you laugh at me while you did nothing with my fiancée? Were you planning on telling me all along, bragging like you used to do with all the women you fucked over the years? Or were you two going to keep it quiet, let her marry me and just continue to carry on behind my back?”

  Simon lunged then, pushed
to his limit and beyond. He caught Graham’s lapels and slammed him back, smashing him against the wall with all his strength.

  “I would never have done that, goddamn it, Graham. You should know better. I was going to leave. Roseford and I were leaving in a day or two, out of the country, and I wasn’t going to come back, not until after you were married. What happened last night wasn’t some way to get over on you.”

  “Even though you have feelings for her?” Graham asked, not fighting Simon’s grip. Not moving at all except to look down at him, his gaze steady and unwavering.

  “Yes,” Simon whispered. “Yes, I have feelings for her. I have had feelings for her for almost a decade. And I never acted on them, I never acted on them once, because of you. But you can’t act like you care this much, damn you. You don’t want her, you never did. And here I was, dying inside knowing that she would be yours. That you would one day touch her like I wanted to, that you would one day have children with her that I would have to look at, see her eyes and your hair. You didn’t want her, Graham. And I did.”

  “My problem isn’t that you wanted her,” Graham growled. “My problem is that if you’d told me a year ago or five years ago, I would have stepped aside and wished you nothing but happiness. But you didn’t tell me. You let it fester, you let it change our friendship over the past half a decade. A friendship that you claim means so much to you. And then you reached out and you stole her from me in the most public way you could muster.”

  Simon drew back, releasing Graham’s lapels and turning away toward the fire. He didn’t know what to say to that charge. There was nothing to say, really. Whatever his intentions, whatever his goals, he had done exactly what Graham said.

  “You are my friend, Graham,” he said softly. “I never would have hurt you on purpose.”

  Graham moved toward him, his eyes narrowed. “You were never my friend, Simon. And you did.” He passed by to the door and paused there. “Now let’s go downstairs. There are things to be done. Humiliations to be made complete. You have a bride to finish winning and I want to get on with it so I can go home.”