Midnight Confessions

by Karen Leabo

  “Whatever you do, I’m behind you, one hundred percent.”

  “But I wasn’t asking—”

  “If you want to go up against Dennis, I’ll fight the bastard tooth and nail, and I’ll use every investigative tool at my disposal to find the proof you need. So help me, Jenn, the man will have to go through me and cut me down before he’ll ever lay a hand on Cathy.”

  “But I’m not asking you to do that,” Jenn objected even as tears sprang to her eyes at the sacrifice he was willing to make. “You’ll be throwing away the reward money, and maybe your whole career—”

  “To hell with the reward money. I don’t need it, I don’t even want it anymore. As for my career, if people want to fault me for trying to protect an innocent child, that’s their problem.”

  “You really do believe me,” Jenn said, a trace of wonder in her voice.

  “I told you I did.”

  Suddenly Jenn felt invincible. Who could not believe her with Joe on her side? The only words she could get past her tight throat were “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t really done you any favors.”

  Oh, yes, he had. He’d believed her. He’d shown her that her cause wasn’t as hopeless as it once had appeared. At the moment, it seemed like the greatest gift anyone had ever given her. She couldn’t explain her feelings in words, so she walked up to him purposefully, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his cheek, hoping the simple gesture would convey her gratitude.

  It did a whole lot more than that, she realized belatedly. A sudden heat flared in his eyes and radiated from his entire body. He looked at her with a combination of desire and regret, then stroked her cheek with his knuckles.

  “Do you have any idea how much I want you?” he said, his voice little more than a hoarse croak.

  “I—I wasn’t thinking about that,” she said, though she wondered if she’d just told a lie. She’d been aware of the chemistry between them for days now, and she’d known how little it had taken before to create a volatile situation. Maybe her harmless peck on the cheek hadn’t been so innocent.

  “Does it frighten you, the fact that when you get within ten feet of me I turn into a raging mass of hormones?”

  “A little,” she admitted. “Although deep down I know you wouldn’t hurt me. And the idea of you ‘raging’ is almost laughable. You’re one of the most controlled people I’ve ever met.”

  “You’ve sorely tested that control over the last few days,” he said with a sad smile. “In more ways than one.”

  “I know. You’ve been threatening to throttle me on at least a twice-daily basis.”

  “That’s not what I want to do right now.”

  Jenn tried to swallow, but her mouth went suddenly dry while other parts of her did the opposite. With a sharp sense of loss, she knew he would do nothing to satisfy the longing they both felt. It wasn’t proper or ethical, much less wise. On the other hand, she felt a tremendous sense of power and responsibility. She could tip the scales, and she knew it. He had willpower, but only so much.

  She felt almost giddy with temptation. For the first time the prospect of sex represented infinite possibilities instead of something terrifying, painful, or a grueling responsibility to be gotten through. She continued looking at him, caught like a deer in headlights. It was an awesome moment, one she knew she would never forget. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch in her brain that shed a light into previously murky depths.

  “Jenn...”

  Knowing that he was going to object, to insert some word of sanity that would spoil the moment, she cut him off by covering his mouth with hers and kissing him for all she was worth. She tried to communicate her overpowering, incomprehensible need with her lips and tongue, by the way she clutched his shoulders and then the back of his head, weaving her fingers through his springy, dark brown hair.

  His stunned reaction quickly transformed into an expression of emotion and passion that matched her own. He gathered the material of her jacket in his hands, holding her a willing prisoner as his mouth probed hers thoroughly. His breathing came in quick gasps between kisses that were becoming more insistent, more demanding.

  A tiny seed of doubt planted itself in Jenn’s chest, tightening her lungs, causing her skin to prickle and her body to tremble. What if she couldn’t handle it? She was certain with every cell of her being that Joe would not knowingly hurt her. But his sexuality was so intense, and he was so much bigger and stronger than she was...

  “Jenn,” he whispered against her ear, loosening his grip on her but not releasing her completely. “Just say the word, anytime. It’s never too late. There’s no point of no return. If you’re uncomfortable...”

  It amazed Jenn that he’d sensed her insecurities. She was sure she hadn’t outwardly revealed them. “No,” she said, more sharply than she intended.

  He pulled back and looked at her questioningly.

  “I mean, no, I’m not uncomfortable,” she clarified, summoning a slight smile. “Excited, apprehensive, but not scared.” Actually, the only thing she feared right now was that he would think better of what they were contemplating.

  “I’m glad,” he said, slipping his hands under her jacket to rub her back. “I want you so bad that it’s hard to control myself, but I can and I will. I’ll be as gentle as I know how to be.”

  With those words the agreement had been struck. All she had to do was nod, and he would make love to her. And if she began to feel afraid or overwhelmed, all she had to do was make one small objection, utter a squeak, even tense up slightly, and he would stop. She was utterly sure he was as good as his word.

  The nod came, almost without her volition.

  His intake of breath was almost a gasp. Did he feel the same kind of excited anticipation she did? she wondered feverishly.

  It seemed incredible that they’d started as bitter adversaries and had ended up here...wherever “here” was. She was sure this was a beginning of sorts, though she couldn’t fathom where they might end up. Any sort of lasting relationship seemed unlikely, given their respective positions.

  He kissed her again, with even more ardor, more purpose, and Jenn found it impossible to follow logic any further. An uncertain magic wove itself around them, like a witch’s spell, that made it possible for her to blank out the unhappy facts of her past and the uncertainties of her future. She could focus solely on him, the way his muscles felt through his shirt when she tucked her hands beneath his jacket, how the skin of his neck and face felt beneath her exploring fingertips. She was aware of his uneven breathing, even more than her own, and the light of wonder that almost radiated from him, mirroring hers.

  He did some exploring himself, testing the strength and resilience of her body with questing hands, as if he were her personal body cartographer. Her attention wavered back and forth between his reactions to her and the incredible things he made her feel, sensations she’d never even imagined, much less experienced.

  So this is what all the fuss is about, she found herself thinking. How ignorant she’d been—still was, in fact—and how eager to learn more.

  Joe paused, deliberately pulling away from her, and she almost whimpered in protest. If he changed his mind now she wouldn’t be able to stand it. She was sure she would break down and cry like a baby from the sheer frustration, the shattered possibilities.

  But she needn’t have worried. Never taking his eyes from her, he yanked off his jacket and spread it on top of the layer of dry leaves carpeting the ground. “I wish I could offer you more,” he said.

  “I don’t need more.”

  “I’m afraid you’ll be cold.”

  She shook her head. “Not a chance.” If she’d been brazen enough, she would have stripped her clothes off right there, while he looked on. Then she shook her head. In your dreams, Jenn, she told herself. Even if she’d had the guts, she didn’t have the kind of voluptuous curves that lent themselves to striptease.

  She was suddenly swamped with insec
urities, though not the kind that had plagued her before. She wasn’t afraid of him, of his power over her. But she did worry that he would be disappointed. Incredible as it would sound if she tried to explain it, she was naive. She’d had sex in the past, but she was sure now that she’d never made love.

  “You okay?” he asked, concern chiseled all over his face.

  “Yes,” she said quickly, touching his arm. “Nervous,” she admitted.

  “Me, too.”

  “Really?”

  “First times are tough, even under the best of circumstances. At least, that’s always been my experience.”

  At his words, the mist of magic seemed to lift. Jenn was reminded of exactly who she was—a kidnapper, a fugitive, a victim of abuse. And Joe Andresi was a bounty hunter, who held her prisoner.

  Happily, none of that mattered anymore. She would not be able to later claim that she’d been carried away, or seduced, or under the influence of some unearthly force. She knew who they were and what they were doing, and she wanted it with every fiber of her being.

  “It’s always been tough for me,” she said. “First time, last time, every time.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

  “You don’t know how badly I want to believe that.”

  “Let me show you.” The invitation in his voice was a potent aphrodisiac. “I can’t promise to make the earth move or cause fireworks, but I can show you that it’s okay to relax and let go, to trust. And maybe, in time...” He didn’t finish.

  They both knew they didn’t have the luxury of time.

  “Lie with me,” he said, touching her cheek as softly, as reverently, as if she were made of confectioner’s sugar. Then he stared down at the ground, as though embarrassed by his gentle words. “We’ve had a hellish week, and more hard times to come. We deserve this,”

  She laughed out loud as the last of her apprehensions melted away. This was Joe, the man whose car she’d wrecked, the man who’d handcuffed her to a bed and chased her relentlessly through so many escape attempts she’d lost coun.. The man who’d fed her pizza and pancakes, who’d stopped for umpteen bathroom breaks, who’d taken the time to befriend her frightened daughter.

  The man who’d had ample opportunity to take advantage of her, and never had. Could there be any better testament to his honor?

  Without preamble, Jenn stripped off her jacket and threw it down next to his, then kicked off her tennis shoes, suddenly infused with eagerness.

  Joe answered her saucy grin with one of his own. The woman was magnificent. He knew she couldn’t be as brave about this whole thing as she pretended, yet that’s exactly what she wanted him to believe. He wanted to pull her down beside him on the jacket and get her out of those clothes but reason prevailed. She might be putting on a valiant front, but he suspected that deep inside she was still a frightened little girl, and the wrong move on his part could cause her to change her mind.

  He held out his hand to her. She took it, her grip strong and sure, and they settled together onto the jacket. Her eyes shone with anticipation as he kissed and caressed her, pausing every so often to unfasten a button here, a zipper or buckle there, first his, then hers. She vacillated between brazen hussy and hesitant virgin, one minute thrusting her chest out so that he could admire her creamy, rosy-nippled breasts, the next giggling and shutting her eyes as he explored uncharted territory.

  When he had them both bared to the cool mountain air, he spent as much time as he dared just caressing her, petting her, carefully gauging the way she trembled to be certain it was passion that moved her and not renewed fear.

  He wished they had more time, but night was falling. The air was cooling down, and soon even the heat of their lovemaking wouldn’t overcome the chill. Moved by a new sense of urgency, he touched her more intimately, finding the unmistakable signs of arousal.

  She gave a little gasp, then a sigh of pleasure. As if he’d just given her permission, she touched him, and he realized just how excited he was.

  “I can’t stand too much of that,” he said, half laughing, half groaning.

  “What?” She sounded confused. Could it be she didn’t really understand the power she had over him?

  “Don’t move your hand,” he said.

  “I won’t,” she replied, squeezing him more tightly.

  “I mean, oh, honey, I need to make love to you in the worst way, but if it’s too soon—”

  “It’s not,” she assured him. Then she passively spread her legs.

  “No, not like that,” he said as he tamped the anger that welled up inside him. Not anger at her, of course, but at the men who’d wasted the beauty and passion within her, who’d treated her as an object, a means to an end, so that she viewed the most pleasurable act on earth as an ordeal to be endured.

  Even her husband, God rest his soul, whom she claimed to have loved, must not have ever taken the time to alleviate her apprehensions and teach her the glories her body could provide her as well as him.

  Or maybe he was as ignorant as she, he thought. Some men, he’d heard, were simply lousy lovers. Some couples didn’t strike sparks in bed no matter how hard they tried,

  Not true in this case.

  “Is... is something wrong?” she asked fearfully.

  “Absolutely not. No, everything’s perfect.” With that he grasped her around the waist and swung her on top of him. She looked surprised, then pleased, then downright delighted as he eased her down atop his rock-hard erection, filling her.

  “How do I—” she started to ask.

  “Just move,” he said, though he was almost beyond words now. It didn’t matter how she moved. Whatever she did would bring things quickly to a conclusion. “Move however it feels good to you.”

  “Mmm. Okay.” She closed her eyes and began to rock gently back and forth, trying different rhythms, different angles, before settling into a pattern that seemed to please her.

  He knew he wouldn’t last long. He looked around him and focused on the bark of a nearby tree, concentrating on its texture, wanting to extend Jenn’s pleasure. When that didn’t work, he thought about income taxes and cold showers and eating brussels sprouts. And when that didn’t work, he put his hands around Jenn’s hips and held her tightly while he plunged into her to his own inner staccato rhythm until the sky exploded and he cried out with the sheer ecstasy of releasing his long-suppressed tension.

  “Damn,” he said out loud, thinking he might have ruined it for her by rushing. But her eyes were closed and her face scrunched up, like she was concentrating very hard. She hadn’t stopped moving, even though he had.

  All at once her eyes flew open and she stared at him with outright shock. “What’s—oh—my—...” She didn’t finish whatever she’d been about to say. Joe recognized the unmistakable signs that she’d reached the height of pleasure, maybe for the first time in her life, judging from her surprised reaction.

  He felt a rush of pure male pride, followed quickly by a rush of tenderness for the delicate, emotionally devastated woman whom fate had seen fit to put in his trust.

  He suddenly wondered if he was worthy of that trust. He’d been quick to offer heavy-handed advice on how she should handle her situation, but what if he was wrong? What if the legal system was every bit as callous and capricious as Jenn feared?

  What if he couldn’t protect her and Cathy?

  Chapter 12

  Although Joe continued to hold her tenderly, stroking her hair, Jenn sensed him backing off emotionally. His aura— if that was the right ward—seemed to shrink, no longer enveloping her in its cocoon of warmth.

  Or maybe she was imagining things. She’d never experienced such a white-hot blast of sensual excitement in her life; maybe an emotional cooling-off period was normal, just as they cooled off physically. In any event, she clung to Joe’s shoulders as she lay atop him, refusing to budge unless she had to. She might not ever get this chance again, and she intended to savor the afterglow for as long as possible.


  Which wasn’t very long, apparently. Joe stirred beneath her. “You okay?”

  “Do you need to ask?” she said, trying for a flippant tone. Instead she came off sounding a little desperate.

  “Are you getting cold?” he tried again. He seemed concerned, though a bit detached.

  “Not yet.” A shiver betrayed her.

  Instead of insisting that they do the sensible thing and put on their clothes, Joe grabbed Jenn’s jacket and placed it over her bare shoulders. He seemed to understand her need to absorb the experience and regain her equilibrium before they headed back down the hill, back toward reality.

  They lay in silence for a few more minutes, but not even Jenn’s most fervent hopes could hold back the darkness. They would need at least a glimmer of twilight to make their way down the hiking trail.

  She decided to spare Joe the embarrassment of having to push her off him. “I guess we ought to get going,” she said, easing her still tingling body away from his.

  His sigh, at least, sounded genuinely regretful. “Is’pose.”

  Dressing felt a heckuva lot more awkward than undressing had. She tried not to stare at Joe’s lean, taut body as he pulled on his jeans, even though minutes ago she had possessed that same body in the most intimate way possible.

  Her skin tingled and her stomach swooped at the memory of the ecstasy they’d shared. Somewhere deep inside her she’d known it would be different with Joe, but she’d never dreamed just how different. She felt bonded to him, now, connected soul to soul....

  That didn’t mean he belonged to her, she thought forlornly as she fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. She was romanticizing their lovemaking far too much, she decided, forcing herself to be brutally practical. She and Joe had been in close proximity for days now, and a moment of joy and gratitude had naturally evolved into an act of mutual passion. There was nothing wrong with it—nothing to regret, she insisted to herself. She’d given herself to him, body and soul—but that didn’t mean he felt the same way. To him, it might be just another close encounter.

  As she tied her tennis shoes, a terrible thought occurred to her. What if Joe thought she’d made love with him in some misguided effort to ensure his loyalty? Or that she was somehow “paying him off” for the support he’d offered?