Inspired By You (Love in the City Book 6)

by Steph Nuss

  Once Whitley and I were alone, she fucking snapped like I knew she’d been waiting to do since she got word of Zane being in the emergency room.

  “What the hell happened to staying home?”

  I closed the door to Zane’s room for more privacy and then looked back at her. “He wanted to play catch in the park.”

  “So?” she sneered. “He wants a lot of things, that doesn’t mean you automatically make them happen! He plays catch with Simon all the time.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Simon can barely get the ball back to him. He wasn’t exactly Cy Young back in his prime. Zane wanted someone that could actually play, maybe even teach him a few things.”

  She glared at me. “He could have been seriously hurt. Do you understand that?”

  “Of course, I do.” I stated in a firm voice, brows furrowed. “I thought about all the bad shit that could happen before we even left the house today. I worried over it while we were in the park playing catch. And when we walked through those ER doors, I thanked God he wasn’t hurt worse. So, yes, I am aware that he could have been seriously hurt, and I hate that this happened just as much as you do. I hate that I can’t spend one afternoon with him without being interrupted by fans who had no regard for him whatsoever!”

  I blinked away the emotion threatening my eyes, and then gazed back at her.

  “When I heard him fall, when I heard him cry out in pain, I wished I could take it all away from him. I might not be his father, but I love him, Whit. That’s what happened when I fell in love with you, I fell for him, too. I just wanted us to have a fun afternoon playing ball. I never meant for him to get hurt. It was an accident. If I were some regular guy with a regular job, it probably wouldn’t’ve happened, but that’s not the case. You know I would never purposely put him in danger.”

  She scoffed. “And yet here we are in the hospital, waiting for his X-ray results!”

  “Right,” I said, shaking my head. “I forgot. You’re the perfect parent. You’ve probably never made a mistake that affected Zane.”

  “You’re not his parent,” she retorted, pointing her finger at me. “I instructed you to stay home with him today. Not take him out and nearly get him trampled by fans!”

  She shook her head at me and then paced in the hospital room. I could practically hear her thinking, Adam would never have let this happen. She’d made up her mind to be pissed at me the moment she saw Zane injured. I felt like we were struggling in a room full of quicksand, each of us sinking, inch by inch, with each word that left our mouths.

  “I knew this would happen,” she muttered.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, stopping her movement by placing my hand on her arm.

  She pulled her arm away from me, as if my touch just infuriated her more. “I knew this would happen. I knew you wouldn’t be able to tell him no. I knew you wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “Do you not trust me with him?”

  “I don’t trust the world with you, Max!” she exclaimed. “Everyone wants a piece of you, and today, they got a piece of Zane as a result.”

  I nodded, and retorted sarcastically, “Yeah, I’m sure Adam would have never let this happen, am I right?”

  “What?” she asked in disbelief. “How dare you bring him up right now.”

  “No, you’re mad at me for putting Zane in harm’s way, but his own father knew he had a child on the way and decided to put himself in danger instead. I might not be his parent, but at least I’m fucking here, Whitley!”

  Tears pooled in her beautiful eyes, but I looked away from her so I could continue without letting her emotions affect me.

  “I agreed to take him to the park today because he doesn’t have a father around to teach him how to throw a curveball, because he wants to try out for this little league team next year so bad that he’s dedicated to working on his techniques now. Not because I just couldn’t say no to him or because I didn’t want to listen to you. I did it for him. If you don’t think I already feel bad for him getting hurt out there today, you don’t know me at all.”

  “You can leave.” She crossed the room and opened the door. “We don’t need you here anymore.”

  “No,” I demanded. “I’m not leaving until I know he’s going to be okay.”

  “He’ll be fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Why don’t you go greet the crowd of fans that have surely congregated at the front of the hospital just waiting for their glimpse of the Maxton Waters.”

  I stepped toward her and caged her in against the wall with my arms. Our chests heaved, our lungs violently looking for more ammo to expel. I studied her resentful features, memorized every amazing inch of her, even the pissed off mama bear directing all her anger and blame onto me, and yet I never backed down. “You once said I was worth all the chaos that came with being famous. Was that a lie? One accident happens and you go running?”

  “When you put my son in danger, no, you’re not worth it,” she stated in a brutal tone, her eyes never leaving mine. “And I’m not running. I’m being a parent, something you know nothing about or else you would have listened to me. He comes first, and he always will. It’s my job as his mother to keep him safe, and I wasn’t there for him today. You and three fully-trained security guards couldn’t keep him safe.”

  Her words sucker punched me right in the gut as I pushed away from the wall and ran a hand through my hair. My legs felt like they couldn’t hold me upright anymore, yet they still managed to as I stared back at her in disbelief. Shocked that it had come to this. My biggest fear of another loved one getting hurt because of my fame came true today, but she didn’t understand that. She blamed me, and there was nothing I could say or do to change her mind.

  Thankfully, the doctor wheeled Zane back into his room and both of us put our argument on hold and concentrated on Zane. “It’s definitely broken.”

  She put the scan up and turned the light box on for us to see. “A small fracture to his radial bone, but a few weeks in a cast and he’ll be brand new again.”

  I smiled down at Zane. “That’s not too bad.”

  “How many weeks?” Whitley asked.

  The doctor shut the light box off and took down the scan. “Three to four weeks, depending on how well it’s healing. I’m hopeful it could be just three if he takes it easy and follows Mom’s orders.”

  We laughed and Zane rolled his eyes. “I know, I know.”

  “Mom knows best,” the doctor said, patting Whitley on the shoulder. “He’s going to be just fine. Kids break their arms all the time.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Pratt,” Whitley said with a curt nod.

  The doctor spoke directly to Zane. “Okay, we’re going to fit you with a fiberglass cast, meaning you’re not going to be able to get it wet.”

  “Can it be orange?” he asked. “I’m going to the Mets game in a few weeks for my birthday.”

  She nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  Once the doctor left the three of us alone, a thick blanket of tension fell over the room. Whitley and I barely looked at one another, let alone spoke, and Zane quickly picked up on it.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, eyeing both of us.

  “Nothing,” I reassured, giving him a weak smile. “We’re just glad you’re okay.”

  Unconvinced, he turned to Whitley. “You yelled at him, didn’t you?”

  Whitley sighed and took a seat on the edge of his bed. “Zane, what happens between—”

  “No!” he interrupted, shaking his head. “It was an accident, Mom!”

  “One that could have gotten you killed.”

  He rolled his eyes at her. “It’s just a broken arm, and Max wasn’t even the one who pushed me. Please, don’t be mad at him. If anything, be mad at me; I’m the one who begged him to go to the park and play catch.”

  I intervened, taking a seat on the opposite side of his bed. “But I should’ve told you no, Zane.”

  “She’s mad at you for something
you didn’t even do!” he exclaimed, waving his good hand at Whitley.

  Hurt flashed in Whitley’s eyes as she stood from the bed and started pacing again. He kept taking my side, so I tried my best to steer him back to middle ground. “She’s your mom. I didn’t listen to her and stay home with you like she asked, so it is my fault. She only wants what’s best for you.”

  “But you are good for me!” he insisted. “You taught me how to throw a curve today. Opa could never do that.”

  “I know,” I said, nodding. “But now, we need you to be strong, listen to your mom and the doctor, and let that arm heal up, okay?”

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  Leaning forward, I wrapped my hand around his neck and prayed this wasn’t good-bye for him and me. He had a piece of my heart now, and I’d do anything to make sure she didn’t take it away from me with a few painful words. “I have to go now. I need to check in with Manny and make sure they’ve handled what happened at the park.”

  “I don’t want you to go.”

  “I don’t want to either, but this is just something I have to go do,” I said, swallowing the pain that kept crawling up my throat. I brushed my lips against his forehead and then held his gaze with mine. “I love you, you know that, right?”

  He nodded and threw his good arm around my neck for a hug. “I love you, too, Max.”

  Playfully, I ran my hand through his blond hair, making it an absolute mess, and hoped it wouldn’t be the last time I teased him as I stood up from the bed. “Be good.”

  “I will,” he promised.

  Before leaving, I walked over to Whitley and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Then I spoke into her ear so only she could hear me. “I love you, and I’m sorry, Whitley, I truly am, but I’m not the only one of us who made a mistake today.”

  No matter what we said to each other, no matter how mad we were, I still loved and respected her, which was why I left.

  ***

  He wouldn’t speak to me.

  Zane hadn’t spoken one word to me since Max left his hospital room.

  It was the first time in eight, almost nine, years that he’d pulled the silent treatment on me, and honestly, I wasn’t handling it very well.

  It was the Monday following his accident, and we stood in front of Simon and Julia’s home an hour earlier than normal. I’d made us get ready earlier today because I couldn’t take the silence in our apartment anymore. When I asked him a question, he only answered with a nod or a shake of his head. If it was a question that required more than a yes or no answer, he wrote down his reply. Other than that, he isolated himself in his room. He wouldn’t even watch TV in the living room if I was in there. I’d never made him so upset, and I needed advice from the one woman I always went to for parenting wisdom.

  Knocking on the door, I stood next to a solemn Zane and waited for Julia to answer.

  “You guys are early this morning,” she mused, smiling down at Zane as she waved us in. “Opa has juice and cereal in the dining room, if you’re interested, Zane.”

  “I’m not hungry,” he replied, stepping over the threshold.

  He wore a backpack on his back and an orange cast on his left arm, sporting only two signatures from his friends on it.

  Julia looked back at me and perked her brow up in question.

  “He’s mad at me,” I informed her, walking into the house. “Actually, I’m pretty sure he hates me right now. I kind of hate me, too.”

  She laughed lightly and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “He doesn’t hate you.”

  “Well, it feels like he does.”

  We watched him continue inside, and when he stepped into the dining room where Simon sat, he finally came to life and adamantly told him all about what happened in the park and how Max taught him to throw a curve. He even let Simon sign his cast.

  I’d asked him if I could sign it, and he just shook his head at me. Part of me wanted to be the strict parent and set him straight, but at the same time, I couldn’t do it. I’d brought this amazing man into our lives, let Zane fall in love with him just as hard as I did, and then I basically kicked him out of our lives, too.

  I deserved his anger.

  “Come on, Whit,” Julia said, leading me into the living room. “Let’s go talk.”

  We took a seat on their brown, tufted leather couch. Julia turned down the volume on the TV, quieting the anchor delivering the city’s latest news, and then she reached for her mug of coffee and smiled at me.

  “You’ve already told me what happened over the phone, but what happened afterward? What made Zane stop talking to you?”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled. “He’s mad because I got upset with Max. I blamed him for what happened at the park, and Zane’s mad about it.”

  She took a sip of coffee and waved her hand. “And?”

  “I told Max to leave because he brought up how Adam isn’t here anymore, how he put himself in danger when he knew he had a baby on the way. It just hurt so much hearing Max say that about Adam. That’s Zane’s dad, and I know he’s not here anymore to teach him how to throw certain pitches and stuff, but—”

  “It’s true.” She reached over and grabbed my hand. “As much as we like to think that what Adam did was heroic, what he did that day, trying to stop a robbery, was stupid. He came from money. We could have helped that family get back on their feet if they would have been robbed. Instead, he got himself killed by trying to be a hero. He had his family to think about, and he didn’t. He made a reckless decision that cost him his life.”

  I nodded and then rested my head on the back of the couch and let the tears fall from my eyes. “It makes me mad because it is true! He’s missing his son’s life because of his stupid decision. Is that terrible? That I’m mad at him for that, and I’m mad at Max for pointing it out?”

  “No, but you can’t let his decision come between you and Max.”

  When Adam passed away, Simon, Julia, and I promised to keep his memory alive for Zane. But I didn’t know how hard that would be. It was easy to put him up on a pedestal for what he’d done, but it ate at me from the inside out. He’d missed every moment of Zane’s life. With each birthday that passed, with each accomplishment he achieved, it was just another reminder of how much Adam had missed. I’d gone from being sad that he was dead to being pissed off that he wasn’t here for Zane. My disappointment only festered more whenever Zane wanted help with something the three of us weren’t good at, like baseball.

  “I used to think Zane would be okay with just the three of us, you know?” I stated with a shrug. “But he’s not. He needs Max.”

  “Maybe as much as you do?” she asked.

  “Maybe. I’ve been parenting alone for so long that it’s difficult for me to accept that. To welcome his help and let go of all the control. He got so excited about doing something for Zane’s birthday, but I already had most of it planned. He’s made me want him—someone who wants to help plan his birthdays and stay in the emergency room to make sure he’s okay. The moment he left Zane’s hospital room, I had to give myself a mental pep talk to keep from breaking down and crying even though it was my own damn fault he left.”

  “It’s okay to want his help,” she stated in a calm voice. “To let the man you love take some of the weight off your shoulders. That’s what being in love is all about, being there for one another when you need each other the most. Even when you say and do things that are hurtful.”

  “I repeatedly told him he wasn’t Zane’s dad. I pointed out how he doesn’t know how hard parenting can be.”

  “Let me tell you a story I’ve never told anyone.” Julia wiped my tears away with her handkerchief and continued. “After Adam died, Simon and I really struggled. There were days I couldn’t even look at him or speak to him. Simon was the one always encouraging him to help others, befriend the loners, and stand up for the bullied. Those are all great qualities we all want our kids to have, but when Adam died, I blamed Simon for it. I said things I s
houldn’t have, all because I was upset. Of course, Simon knew that and forgave me for all the terrible things I said and did. But the entire time, I never once thought about how Simon was handling the loss of his son.”

  More tears ran down my face, ruining my makeup for work.

  Julia tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and asked, “Have you even thought about what the incident in the park did to Max?”

  I swallowed around the regret lodged in my throat and shook my head.

  “To go from having his best friend assaulted by his stalker, to watching his girlfriend’s boy get hurt by a fan. Those are decisions he did not make when he chose his career. I know it’s difficult dating him because of his notoriety, but he’s human just like the rest of us. He’s got to be hurting, too.”

  My streaming tears quickly turned into a waterfall. Sobs wracked my body the more I thought about what she said. I hadn’t thought about how it affected him. I knew it was his biggest fear, yet I never once asked him how he was doing. Memories of his anxious behavior flooded my mind. I recalled the night he freaked out after we’d almost been attacked while leaving Fletcher’s club, and the way he still talked about Harper’s attack. The revelation of my terrible behavior only made me cry harder. “I’ve made a total mess of everything.”

  She wrapped me into a hug and patted the back of my head. “It’s okay to make a mess, as long as you figure out how to clean it up, and I know you will because you’re a smart woman. You deserve a man who hurts when your boy hurts, who loves you even when you’re not your best self. Let him forgive you, teach Zane that even as adults we mess up, and most of all, forgive yourself.”

  I pulled back and she dried my face again. My lungs gasped for normalcy with each shaky breath as my body attempted to calm down.

  “Simon and I are closer than ever now,” she continued with a smile. “When either of us is having a rough day, we’re simply there for each other. Be there for your men, even when they don’t listen to you, because honey, let’s face it, this won’t be the last time they do something you told them not to do.”