She wasn’t quite sure how to respond. This whole conversation had gone off the rails and there was no way to recover it. “I will admit that I’d hoped we could have a happily-ever-after with our two children, but there’s no scheming involved. It simply is what it is.”
“Claire, the only thing this is, is over. I knew it was a bad idea to seduce you, but you and your sad eyes and luscious lips convinced me otherwise. I don’t know why I thought that us being together was the best resolution to our situation. Well, no more. You and I are through.”
A sharp pain struck Claire’s chest like Thor’s hammer, radiating outward. She was certain it was the feeling of her heart breaking. How could she have loved a man who could be so cruel? She didn’t really know him at all. All his smooth words and charming smiles had completely disarmed her.
“I thought we really had something special between us, Luca. But if you—” Her voice cracked with emotion as she fought to hold back tears. She didn’t want him to see her cry. “If you are willing to accuse me of something that terrible and then cast me aside so easily, then I was wrong. About everything.”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
His arrogant, ambivalent tone made her angry. It was one thing for him to be so convinced that he didn’t believe her without proof. It was another to be downright cruel. She wasn’t going to let another man treat her like less than she deserved. Luca was the one who taught her that, ironically enough.
Claire gathered up all her nerve, straightening her spine and looking him hard in the eyes like she had that first day at his lawyer’s office. “You’re only disappointing yourself, Luca, because you’re a coward.”
“A coward?” He nearly roared the words at her, but she refused to take a single step back.
Instead, she moved closer. “Yes, a coward. You’re too scared to go to the doctor and find out the truth about your sterility. You’d rather throw away everything we have, accuse me of being a whore and a liar than face the reality of your condition.”
“Why would I be scared to do that? The worst they can tell me is what I already know.”
“No, it’s not. The worst thing they can tell you is that you’ve been wrong all this time. Because then you’d have to come to terms with the fact that you’ve been living half a life for all these years for no reason. You’d know for certain that you wasted over a decade where you could’ve found someone to love and started a family instead of being Mr. Busy CEO all the time. You’ve been hiding behind your desk instead of living your life.”
Luca raised his arm, pointing toward the front door. “You take your venomous lies and get out of here before I call security and have you thrown out.”
“You couldn’t force me to stay one minute longer.” Claire turned on her heel and marched back to the entryway where she scooped up her coat. “Since you’re so certain this child isn’t yours, I’m going to presume that you won’t be dragging me to family court to get custody of this one.”
“Nope,” he snapped. “Not interested.”
Claire tried not to react to his indifference. Not because of herself, but because of her child. She already felt a sense of protectiveness for it. The last thing she wanted was for the baby to feel as if the father didn’t love it from the day they found out he or she existed.
“Fine. Then do me a favor and try not to be interested in Eva, either. If you don’t want both your children, we don’t want or need you in our lives at all,” Claire said.
She flung open the front door and marched out, slamming it behind her with all the Mama Bear fury she could muster. It wasn’t until she’d gotten on the elevator and the doors had safely shut that the anger subsided. With it gone, a rush of tears she couldn’t stop flowed free.
How could she have gotten exactly what she wanted and lost everything she needed at the same time?
* * *
A beam of sunlight came through the window and shone across Luca’s face. It roused him from his uncomfortable position on the leather couch in his living room. After a furious battle with a bottle of Scotch, he’d passed out there the night before.
He pushed himself up to a seated position and winced as the movement sent a sharp pain through his head. Bending over, he clutched his forehead and groaned. It was like a vise was clamped down on his skull, turning tighter with every movement and sound.
As pieces of the night before came back to him, he realized that even the agony of his head was miniscule in comparison to the ache of loss and disappointment that had settled in his chest.
Their angry words echoed in his head. The positive pregnancy test, the hopeful, the devastated, then the angry expressions on Claire’s face, and then the slamming door flipping through his mind like a broken slide projector.
When he finally looked up, he spied the shattered remains of his cell phone. After Claire left, he’d reached for the closest thing he could lay his hands on and chucked it at the closed door of his apartment. He’d felt little satisfaction as his cell phone collided with the door and splintered across the marble entryway floor. Today, on top of everything else, he’d need to contact his assistant and have her order him a new phone.
With a curse, he leaned back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. He’d lost it last night. That was very unlike him. He was always so in control, but Claire’s betrayal had pushed him over the edge. After she left, all he could hear was his blood rushing through his veins; all he could see was tainted with the red hue of his emotions.
His child! She claimed to be pregnant with his child. Luca could hardly believe it when the words came out of her mouth. Not even the pregnancy test could convince him. How could he trust Claire’s declaration that it was his baby? He couldn’t. Not when he knew that it was impossible.
But did he really know?
As usual, morning and sobriety had brought everything into question. Not even the Scotch could drive Claire’s words from his mind. She’d called him a coward because he hadn’t been tested in all these years. He’d never really looked at it that way. Why did getting a slip of paper from the lab make a difference? It was just the final nail in the coffin he couldn’t bear to seal. The radiation treatments destroyed his chances of fathering a child. End of story. It didn’t matter how much he might want another child or how badly he wanted to believe her.
She had to know that he wanted another child. There was no other reason why she would come to him with a story like that. She’d found his weakness and did her best to exploit it.
Even as the thought rolled around in his foggy, hung-over brain, Luca knew it was wrong. Everything he’d said or done last night was contrary to what he knew to be true about Claire. It was like a monster had been unleashed inside him the moment she tested his beliefs. Once it got out, there was no stopping the flow of vile words from his mouth.
Disgusted with himself, he pushed up from the couch and stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. That would help clear his thoughts, even if he feared it would make him realize his actions last night were that much more despicable.
He busied himself with his chore and sat down at the breakfast bar. Staring at the tile backsplash, he remembered the topic of Jessica coming up. He had tried and tried to put that whole situation out of his mind. That was why he hadn’t told Claire about it at first. Of course, his mother didn’t have any problem with sharing. Had the story his mother told her inspired Claire to come up with the lie about the baby? Or had the past simply poisoned his view of the present?
One thing he knew was that Claire was right when she said she wasn’t Jessica. He knew that even as he accused otherwise. The two women were nothing alike. Jessica had been smart, but ambitious. They’d been compatible in bed, but he knew she wanted more. He’d wanted it, too, at first, but reality sunk in and he realized he’d never give her the family she wanted. So he’d retreated. �
�More” wasn’t on the table. He ignored her texts and calls for a few months and finally she faded from his life. Until she showed up at the door very pregnant with “his” baby.
In the end, it had all been a hurtful lie. She wanted Luca back, wanted him to marry her. Apparently she wanted it badly enough to poke holes in all the condoms they used together, not knowing he was sterile. When that didn’t work, she deliberately got pregnant by an Italian guy she met at a bar right after they broke up in the hopes she could pass it off as Luca’s. It was incomprehensible. He never would’ve thought Claire would stoop to Jessica’s level.
That’s when the sobering thought crossed his mind—she wouldn’t.
Claire believed what she was saying, whether it was true or not. But Claire had also told him she hadn’t been with a man since Jeff. That didn’t leave a lot of options, although it certainly explained the confused and betrayed look on her face when he rejected the idea of the baby being his.
He couldn’t help it, though. That baby couldn’t be his. It just couldn’t.
But if it was...he’d made a huge, inexcusable and maybe unforgivable mistake.
Eleven
“Moretti?”
Luca looked up from his brand-new smartphone when the nurse called his name. His stomach ached with dread. This was a moment he’d avoided for ten years. He’d almost called and canceled this appointment three times. The only reason he didn’t was because he knew he’d have to face Gavin eventually.
His friend had listened sympathetically while he told him his sad tale. But instead of taking his side, he’d surprised Luca by pretty much saying the same things Claire had said. That he was a chicken. That his hurtful accusations were unfounded. Gavin had finished the conversation by telling him he needed to visit the doctor. Until he was tested and knew for certain that the baby couldn’t be his, he needed to hold his tongue. He’d already said a lot he’d regret if he was wrong.
Luca knew Gavin was right, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Instead, he’d scheduled an appointment and that’s where he found himself. Putting his phone away, he stood and followed the nurse down the corridor.
First, Luca was taken to a private room to produce a specimen for testing. When he was finished, he left the cup in the window and was led to an examination room to wait for the doctor.
It was an agonizing wait. He watched every minute tick by, the sense of anxiety growing with each second. At last, a soft knock came at the door and the doctor stepped inside with his file. It was the moment he’d dreaded and avoided since he’d finished his radiation treatments. Now he would know for certain if he was really the damaged man he’d always believed himself to be.
The doctor shook his hand and sat down on the tiny rolling stool. “Mr. Moretti,” he began, flipping through the pages. “We have done a quick preliminary test of your sample. We’re going to send it out to the lab for more detailed analysis, but I’m comfortable at this point with telling you that you are, in fact, able to have children.”
Luca froze in disbelief. This was not what he’d expected at all. “Are you sure?”
“I’m not saying it will be as easy to impregnate a woman as it is for men without your medical history. Your sperm counts are lower than they would’ve been before your treatments, but you do still have motile, well-formed spermatozoa. With the right mix of circumstances, you can absolutely have children.”
Luca wasn’t sure what to say. He sat dumbfounded on the examination table as the doctor’s words ran though his brain again and again.
“If you find you’re having difficulty conceiving with your partner, a fertility clinic could be of some assistance.”
Luca chuckled low and shook his head. “I’m through with fertility clinics, but thanks for the suggestion.”
The doctor narrowed his gaze at Luca. “I’m not sure what that’s about, but do you mind if I ask why you were tested today if not to start a family?”
Luca looked down at his hands. “Apparently I’ve already started a family. I didn’t think it was a possibility, but it seems the right mix of circumstances happened.”
The doctor’s white eyebrows drew together in concern. “I’d say congratulations, but you don’t seem very excited about the prospect of fatherhood.”
“It’s not fatherhood that bothers me,” Luca admitted. “I’m thrilled by the idea of it, even though I still run the risk of my cancer returning someday. I’ll face that if it happens. It’s just that I’m going to have a lot of apologizing to do to the baby’s mother.”
“Ahh,” the doctor said, closing his file and setting it aside. “Well, if you want to know for certain, a blood test for paternity can be conducted even early on in the pregnancy.”
Luca shook his head vehemently. Edmund would probably want that, but after everything he’d said to Claire, he couldn’t ask her for that. He had no real reason to believe she was lying about the baby aside from the fact that he’d thought it to be impossible. They’d hardly left each other’s side for weeks; she hadn’t had the opportunity to meet and seduce another man. Now that he knew otherwise, there was no doubt.
Claire was pregnant with his child. And he was an ass.
“Okay, then I think we’re done here unless you have any other questions. Good luck with your situation.” The doctor stood and shook Luca’s hand again. Just as quickly as he’d arrived, the doctor slipped out the door, leaving Luca alone with his thoughts.
He could have children. The old-fashioned way.
The idea had never really occurred to him. The oncologists had been so doom and gloom about his prospects that he’d presumed the worst. Then he’d presumed the worst about Claire.
Claire. The woman who had been so mistreated by her husband that she had been loath to trust him or anyone else. The woman who had accepted him as he was. The woman who hadn’t pushed him to talk about his past even as she struggled with her husband’s dishonesty. The mother of his child. His children.
He’d treated her terribly. Luca never thought he could be so cruel to someone he cared about, and yet the harsh words had rolled off his tongue. Hopefully, the apology would come just as easily.
Luca sleepwalked through the motions of checking out of the doctor’s office and making his way toward his apartment. Truthfully, he should’ve been calling for a car to take him back to the office, but he needed a little time to process all of this. That meant time away from his family. None of them knew where he’d gone or what had happened with Claire after they left Martha’s Vineyard, but they would know something was wrong if they saw him right now. He was certain that shock and heartache were etched all over his face.
Stopping at a streetlight, Luca looked up and saw the Brooks Express Shipping building just ahead. Gavin would be expecting an update, so he might as well go on in and give it to him directly. Maybe he’d have a suggestion on how to make it up to Claire after everything he’d said and done.
In the lobby, he dialed Gavin and waited for his answer.
“Do you realize you’ve called me three times in the past month or so? I’m starting to feel special.”
Luca sighed. “I’m in your lobby. Are you in?”
“I am. I’ve got a meeting in a half hour, but for now, I’m all ears.”
Luca took the elevator up to the floor where Gavin’s office was. He waved at his receptionist, blowing past her desk and into Gavin’s office before she could stop him.
Gavin turned from his computer with an expectant look on his face. “So? Can your boys swim?”
Luca had to laugh at the way his friend phrased such a delicate question. “Yes, they can. They won’t be winning any medals, but they can make it across the pool.”
“Congratulations! Sit down.” Gavin pointed to his guest chair as he got up from his own. “This calls for a celebration.” He wandered over to his
wet bar and poured two glasses of dark honey colored liquor.
Luca sat, eyeing his friend’s desk. It was decorated with photographs from his wedding to Sabine, him holding his daughter, Beth, for the first time, all four of them on a plane, then on a beach. It made Luca want that. He wanted to litter his desk with family photos. But something kept holding him back.
Gavin carried the glasses back to the desk and handed one to Luca. Frowning at his friend, he said, “What’s the matter? You look less than enthusiastic about the news.”
Luca sipped the drink and winced at how strong it was. He wasn’t much for Scotch, especially after overdoing it the other night. “I’m happy. Really, I am. But knowing the truth makes my fight with Claire that much worse. I’ve got to get her back somehow, but I don’t know if she’ll forgive me after what I said.”
“Do you love her?” Gavin asked.
Luca nodded without hesitation. He hadn’t actually thought about it, but the minute Gavin asked, the answer popped into his head as clear as day. Claire was unlike any woman he’d ever met. Since the day of their fight, he’d walked around with an aching hole in his chest. He missed her. He missed Eva. Now he even missed their baby growing inside her. He hadn’t been around to take Claire to the doctor, listen to Eva’s heartbeat or supply her with her strange cravings the first time. If he didn’t get this fixed, he would lose his second chance at having the full fatherhood experience.
“I am madly, desperately in love with her, Gavin.” Saying the words aloud made him feel better and worse at the same time.
“Okay.” Gavin’s brows knit together in thought. “So tell me why you’re in my office telling me this instead of on Claire’s doorstep telling her?”
Luca supposed he could go to the museum right now and track her down, but he still had reservations. “It’s not that simple. I’ve never let myself feel this deeply for anyone before. I always felt like I was a broken toy that no one would want, so I never even let myself have the dream of something like that.”
The CEO's Unexpected Child Page 13
