Gavin just shook his head. “You’re a fool, is what you are. You’re a successful guy. You’re handsome enough.”
“Thanks,” Luca said dryly.
“My point is that you’re a great catch. Even with one testicle.”
Luca ignored his friend’s jesting slight. “I’m not a catch. I’m a time bomb. So what if I tell Claire I love her? What if she forgives me and we get married and have the baby together? What if I do all that and my cancer comes back? She’s already been a widow once. I can’t be responsible for her going through that a second time.”
“You can’t live your whole life waiting to die, man. You’ve got to get out there and start living. Anything can happen to any one of us. I could get hit by a cab or have an aneurism and drop dead at my desk with no warning at all. You’ve been in remission a long time. Stop letting your former illness hold you back. If you don’t go to her, you’ve virtually left her a widow anyway—she’s raising your children alone.”
“And what if she’d rather be alone than be with me?”
“Then that is her choice. You can’t make other people’s decisions for them. I went years without Sabine because she decided we weren’t a good fit. I never would’ve let her walk out that door if it had been my choice. But you’ve at least got to give her the opportunity to choose.”
Gavin was right. Luca knew he was right. He just had to take all these old anxieties and put them aside. If the cancer came back, it came back. At least this time he would have Claire and the children to give him a reason to fight even harder.
He still didn’t think he could march up to her and get a warm reception, however. He needed to open with a grand gesture. Not just jewelry or another flashy gift. It had to be something that would mean more than anything to her.
There was nothing in the world more important to Claire than Eva. Luca knew what he had to do. Taking another burning sip of his drink, he reached for his phone and called his lawyer.
* * *
Claire climbed the stairs of her brownstone with a heavy heart and even heavier limbs. She wasn’t very far along in this pregnancy, but it was already wearing her out. That, combined with a return to her routine after a month away, left her thoroughly exhausted.
Yes, that was it. It wasn’t the crushing oppression of heartache that was slowing her down.
Opening the front door, she found Daisy and Eva playing on the floor in the living room. Her nanny immediately stood and went over to give Claire a hug. “Hey, Mama. How did the doctor’s appointment go?”
Claire reached into her purse and pulled out the roll of sonogram pictures. There wasn’t much to see, just a blurry little blob that looked something like a jelly bean. The first time she’d seen that image of Eva, her heart had nearly exploded with love and excitement. She and Jeff were finally going to be parents. This time the sight just made her sad. She would adore this baby, she had no doubt, but she couldn’t help but think that she was once again having a child without a father around to love it the way it deserved to be loved. Was a mother’s love enough? She hoped so.
Daisy snatched the photos out of her hand and gave a little squeal of excitement. “Congratulations. This is so exciting. I can’t believe after how hard you worked to have Eva that you could get pregnant so easily.”
Claire nodded absently, but she wasn’t really listening. For the past week and a half, she’d been almost sleepwalking through her days. She certainly wasn’t sleeping at night. She couldn’t concentrate. All that ran through her mind again and again were the horrible things Luca had said to her.
“So I was thinking if we coated Eva in some flour, we could pan fry her and she’d come out with a nice crispy crust.”
“Sounds good,” Claire said automatically.
“Claire!” Daisy shouted in consternation. “You’re not listening at all.”
“I am,” she argued.
“And what did you just agree to?”
Claire sighed and shook her head. “I have no idea.”
“Sit down,” Daisy demanded, pointing toward the couch.
She didn’t feel like arguing, so she did as she was told. Daisy sat beside her, Eva playing with soft blocks on the floor in front of them.
“Just a tip, you might not want to agree to anything while you’re in this state,” Daisy said. “Now tell me what’s going on? This isn’t plain ol’ pregnancy brain, is it?”
Claire opened her mouth to answer, but before she could say a word, the tears rushed to her eyes and all that came out was a strangled sob. Daisy hugged her to her chest, letting her get all the pain and heartache out of her system. It took several minutes and a soaked-through blouse, but eventually Claire was able to sit up, wipe her eyes and tell her sad tale.
“He doesn’t believe the baby is his. I don’t know how he could say that. I’ve spent the past month alone with him. Whose baby could it be?”
“I think he’ll come around,” Daisy said, holding her hand reassuringly. “Like you said, it sounds to me like he’s spent too many years thinking that it could never happen. To believe he’s the father means that everything he knows is wrong. If he’s thrown away the past ten years of his life, too afraid to fall in love and disappoint his wife, it’s got to be a serious blow. It’s easier to push you away with angry accusations than to face the fact that he was too chicken to find out if he was sterile all this time.”
Claire listened with a slow nod, but she wasn’t convinced that Luca would realize he was wrong. Luca was stubborn, and that same stubbornness might keep him from finding out the truth and admitting he was wrong. It might take a court mandated paternity test after the baby was born to convince him of the truth. At that point, he could apologize until he was blue in the face and it wouldn’t make a difference. She didn’t know if she could forgive him for how he’d treated her.
“The worst part is that I let myself fall in love with him, Daisy. It was so stupid of me. He just seemed to know how to get past every barrier I had. It had been so long since I felt like a man really cared for me. I must’ve been desperate for affection. Look where it got me...pregnant and alone.”
“You are not alone, Claire.” Daisy clasped Claire’s chin and turned her so she was forced to look at her. “You’ve got me. You’ve got Eva. You’ve got this new baby. We’re going to make this work, with or without this deadbeat billionaire.”
“How?” It seemed like a ridiculous question to ask, but she felt so bogged down in all of this, she could hardly come up with an answer.
“I’m going to move in,” Daisy declared. “I’m going to be your live-in nanny to help take care of both the children. We are two strong, smart, capable women. We will be just fine without a man. Frankly, we only need them to start the baby process, after that they’re kinda useless.”
Claire chuckled, wiping away the last of her tears. “You’re right. We will be just fine. No matter what happened between Luca and me, I’m coming out of this with another beautiful baby. I never dreamed I could ever have another, so I need to start thinking about this as the blessing that it truly is.”
“That’s the spirit,” Daisy said with an encouraging tone. “Now, there’s a roast chicken and vegetables in the oven for your dinner. Eva has already eaten her dinner and had her bath, so you two can take it easy tonight. Eat, relax and try not to beat yourself up too much about all this. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
Claire nodded. “Thank you for the pep talk, Daisy. You deserve a raise.”
Daisy laughed as she got up off the couch. “I’ll remind you of that when you write my next paycheck.” She walked over to the front door, slipping on her coat and waving good-night.
When the door clicked shut, Claire took a deep breath and tried to do what Daisy had told her to do. She scooped up Eva off the floor and carried her into the kitchen. She placed her in
her swing and set it to a soothing rhythm the baby liked best. That kept her daughter occupied long enough for Claire to remove supper from the oven and make herself a plate.
Pulling up a stool at the breakfast bar, she took a few bites of chicken and started sorting idly through the stack of mail Daisy had left there for her. Bill, junk, bill... She stopped when she noticed the notepad that Daisy used to leave messages about phone calls.
Stuart, her attorney, had called. She’d had a missed call on her cell phone while she was at her doctor’s appointment, but it had come at a critical time and then she’d forgotten to check it later. Searching through her purse, she found her phone and she was right. Her screen declared she’d missed a call from Stuart Ewing. She pressed the button to listen to the voicemail message.
“Claire, this is Stuart. I really need you to call me back tonight. It doesn’t matter what time. There’s been a development.”
He left his personal number for her to call him. Claire’s hand was shaking as she copied the number onto Daisy’s notepad. She wished he hadn’t been so vague in his message. “A development” could be anything. It could be that Luca decided to backpedal on their agreement and sue for full custody. She didn’t think a judge would go along with that, but she couldn’t be sure. The last time she saw Luca he’d been angry enough to do almost anything. Would he try to take Eva knowing she was the only thing Claire had? Just to spite her?
She had to stop speculating and just call Stuart back. She was going to make herself crazy if she didn’t.
“Claire,” Stuart said as he answered the phone. “Thanks for calling me back. We’ve received a request to meet with Luca and his lawyer tomorrow morning.”
“Do we know if it’s good or bad news?”
“I have no idea. I wasn’t really expecting to hear from them when I did. Do you have any thoughts? How did the trip with Mr. Moretti go? I haven’t spoken with you since you got back from Martha’s Vineyard.”
That was a loaded question. “It was a nice trip. I think we had everything worked out between us, so maybe it’s just a finalization of our agreement to submit to the judge.”
Stuart hesitated on the line. “What aren’t you telling me, Claire? There’s something about your tone that tells me you’re leaving something out.”
“Well, that’s because I am. Things have gotten a little complicated since we left Martha’s Vineyard, so I can’t be certain that Luca will stick with the agreement we made.” Claire could hear Stuart sigh heavily on the line.
“What happened when you got back?”
“I found out that I’m pregnant with Luca’s child.” She spit out the words as quickly as she could and waited for the fallout.
“Pregnant? I should’ve known you two going away together for a month would lead to trouble. Are you two an item, now? I hate to say it, but that would probably help the cause if you were.”
“Not anymore,” Claire admitted, dashing her lawyer’s hopes. “He didn’t take the news about the baby very well. He stated pretty bluntly that he didn’t think it was his and got quite angry about the whole thing. So like I said, I don’t have any clue what we’ll face tomorrow.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking over the past year about retiring. You may be the client that puts me over the edge.”
At that, Claire had to laugh. She knew Stuart would work until he dropped dead in the courtroom, but he was a curmudgeon about it anyway. “Look at it this way, Stuart—you just have to represent me in court. This is my life.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “I’ll meet you at Edmund Harding’s office at 8:45 a.m. tomorrow.”
Twelve
“Are you sure you want to do this, Luca? You only have a few minutes left to change your mind.”
Luca turned away from the window overlooking Central Park to gaze at his lawyer. “Yes. I have to do it.”
“Actually, you don’t,” Edmund argued. He’d been irritated with Luca since he came in and started changing the arrangements they’d worked so hard to put together. “There’s nothing that says giving up custody is the punishment for being mean to the mother.”
“I’m not giving up custody,” Luca argued. “I’m just setting the terms that will make her happiest. It’s the least I can do after everything else.”
“And what about you? What will make you happy? These are your children we’re talking about. The children you never thought you’d have, I might add.”
“Seeing Claire happy will make me happy,” he answered without hesitation. It was true. As hard as this was on him, he needed to see Claire smile more than anything. That look of hurt and devastation on her face from that night at his apartment had haunted him for days. He was willing to do whatever it took to fix that, even giving up most of his rights to his children. He didn’t want to do it, but it was the punishment he deserved after rejecting the baby as his own.
A soft knock came at the door and the receptionist stuck her head inside. “Mr. Harding, Mrs. Douglas and Mr. Ewing are here for your nine o’clock.”
Edmund nodded sadly and looked at Luca. “Last chance.”
Luca just waved away his concerns. He knew what he had to do, and he didn’t care if his lawyer liked it or not.
“Send them in.”
Luca took a seat at the table beside Edmund. For the first time in a long time, he felt nervous. He wasn’t quite sure where to look as the door opened. He didn’t know what he would see in Claire’s eyes. Taking a breath, he looked up to see her as she slipped into the office behind her lawyer. Her gaze met his, and he knew that he was making the right decision. There wasn’t the slightest hint of animosity there. She was anxious, exhausted, sad, but not angry. He had been the angry one, the one to lash out. She was just here to see what kind of punishment he was about to hand down because he thought she was lying to him.
They took their seats, and Luca squirmed slightly in his chair. Edmund eyed him suspiciously, but Luca ignored him. His focus was entirely on Claire. She didn’t look good. He thought pregnant women were supposed to be radiant, but perhaps that was later on. Now she just looked run-down, like she had when he’d first taken her to Martha’s Vineyard. A month of good food, sun and loving had changed her, but now it was like they’d never gone.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
Everyone at the table, including Claire, looked startled. Edmund reached out to grip his forearm and silence him, but he pulled away. This wasn’t about negotiations. It was about Claire.
Her gaze narrowed at him for a moment before she nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just having a rough first trimester. It was the same with Eva. Thank you for asking.” Her tone was cold, and he deserved that.
“Mr. Harding, my client and I are curious what today’s meeting is about. We go before the judge on Thursday. It’s a little late to start making changes to the agreement that Mr. Moretti and Mrs. Douglas came to on their trip.”
“I understand that,” Edmund said. “As I’m sure you’re aware, the agreement was made regarding Eva. The addition of a second child to the equation made it necessary for us to have another discussion.”
“Wait a minute,” Stuart said. “My understanding is that Mr. Moretti refused to acknowledge the child as his and vowed to Mrs. Douglas that he would not seek visitation. Are you saying that Mr. Moretti is acknowledging that Mrs. Douglas’s second child is his, as well?”
“Yes, he is,” Edmund replied.
Luca’s gaze was set on Claire’s face as his lawyer delivered the news. Her gray eyes widened with surprise, then she turned to him with her mouth agape. He could only nod, hoping his contrite expression let her know just how sorry he was about all of this.
“Is Mr. Moretti requiring any kind of testing to confirm the paternity of this child?” Stuart continued.
“No, he is not.” Edmun
d’s irritation was clear in his voice.
Stuart sat back in his chair, completely deflated by the whole situation. Apparently, they had come here expecting a battle and were caught off guard. Luca watched Claire’s lawyer lean into her and say a few words. They quietly conversed for a moment with Claire’s eyes meeting his a time or two.
“I’m sorry,” Stuart said at last. “The last time our clients spoke, it was very clear that Mr. Moretti believed the child was not his. While we appreciate that your client is no longer accusing Mrs. Douglas of lying, may we ask what caused the sudden change of heart?”
Edmund turned to look at Luca. His lawyer had been strongly opposed to sharing Luca’s private medical information with the other side, but Luca insisted. He nodded and Edmund took a deep breath. “Mr. Moretti has undergone medical testing to confirm his previous diagnosis. It was determined that he is a valid candidate for fathering Mrs. Douglas’s second child.”
Claire’s mouth dropped open. There was a momentary light of excitement in her eyes, as though she wanted to congratulate him on the amazing news. The light dimmed quickly. She already knew he could have children, considering she was pregnant. The only thing that had changed was that he acknowledged it, as well.
Stuart ignored both clients, trying to focus on the confusing negotiations. “Now that Mr. Moretti is acknowledging the child, how does this change the custody agreement?”
Edmund slid the folder of paperwork across the table with their updated agreement. “You can take your time looking it over. We presume that your client will find these new terms acceptable.”
Luca watched as Claire and Stuart reviewed the paperwork, talking quietly between one another. It was agonizing to sit silently and watch as Claire shook her head and her gaze flickered curiously over him from time to time.
He wasn’t entirely sure what was taking them so long to make a decision. He had given Claire everything she wanted. He’d granted her sole physical and legal custody of the children. He’d asked for minimal visitation, less than half of what they’d agreed to, as to not cause an interruption to the children’s routines. He’d tripled the amount of requested child support—even though he knew she wasn’t interested in his money—and offered to pay for the private schooling of her choice. He’d even set up large, generous trust funds for both of the children. What more could she possibly want? He didn’t want to walk away entirely or the children would think he didn’t care about them. He did. More than anything. There was a fine line between giving Claire what she wanted and abandoning his children.
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