by Anders Grey
I backed off, returning to the safety of Alec’s side. Alec made no move to investigate.
“Sorry for bothering you,” he said. “Come on, Rowan. Let’s go see if Tiffany needs us.”
Without another word, Alec turned and walked away from Mark, who stood like a statue and watched us go. Maybe he was as surprised that Alec gave up as I was.
When we were out of hearing range, I hissed, “Why did you leave? Don’t tell me you actually believe him?”
Alec scoffed. “Of course I don’t.”
“Then why did we give up so easily?”
He stopped and looked at me. “Do you think pushing him is going to make this any easier?”
“If it’ll help get the truth out? Yes.”
“He lied to our faces. I’m almost sure of it. He’s not going to give this up.”
Frustration welled in my chest. “Then what are we supposed to do? Just let him do whatever the hell he wants?”
“Following him around and accusing him isn’t going to solve anything.” Alec’s expression darkened. “We have to catch him in the act.”
I frowned. “I guess you’re done thinking he’s changed, then.”
Alec’s face was grim. “I wish I was wrong, Rowan, but I don’t think I am. Hell, I don’t want to be right. I’ll be glad if Mark proves me wrong. I’d love for him to be a better partner for Tiffany than he was for me.”
A prickle of jealousy stung me. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “You don’t miss him, do you?”
Alec sputtered. “What?”
I felt like a petty child, but the words kept pouring out. “Mark. You don’t miss being his boyfriend?”
Alec’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “No! Why would you even ask that?”
I winced, rubbing my arm as a sudden wave of hot shame hit me. “Sorry. I don’t know. Never mind, just ignore me. All this shit going on is turning me stupid.”
I started stalking off, but Alec grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to look at him.
“I’m over Mark,” Alec stated. “I don’t feel anything towards him except bitterness. And a little bit like I wanna kick him in the shins.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “That’s a shared sentiment.”
“Did you really think I was jealous?” he asked in disbelief.
I averted my eyes, feeling embarrassed at my outburst. “No. I just…”
“Just what?”
I want you all to myself.
I bit my tongue, not allowing myself to say it. I couldn’t.
“Rowan,” Alec pressed. “Whatever you’re thinking, you can tell me.”
Can I really, though? Can I admit these feelings to you without pushing you away?
My throat felt thick and dry. I stared at the cobblestone beneath our feet, memorizing the colors and textures instead of trying to formulate words. “I—”
My ringtone blared. I muttered a curse as the sudden noise took me off guard. I thanked god for the interruption as I fished my phone out of my pocket, but I grew uneasy when I saw Tiffany was the one calling me.
“Hello?” I said.
“You and Alec need to come to my room,” Tiffany said. “There’s something you both need to see.”
My heart raced. I couldn’t tell her mood from her tone. Was she happy? Upset? Still angry at me?
“Okay,” I said simply.
She hung up immediately, which only made me more nervous.
“What was that?” Alec asked.
“Tiffany wants us to go to her room ASAP,” I said with a frown. “She didn’t say why.”
Alec’s expression turned apprehensive. “Okay.”
He didn’t ask any more questions. We headed for Tiffany’s room together. As my heart thumped restlessly, I found myself wishing that Alec would hold my hand again.
24
Alec
Rowan was jittery. I saw his hands trembling as he pressed Noodles closer to his chest like a comfort item.
I had no idea what was going to greet us in Tiffany’s room, but how bad could it possibly be? Unless she was going to show us a dead body or something, there was no reason for Rowan to be so nervous. Maybe he was still anxious because they hadn’t made up yet after their argument.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.
Rowan gave me a stiff nod but didn’t reply.
I knocked on the door. “Tiffany?”
She appeared a moment later through a slit in the door. I couldn’t read her expression, though she seemed tired—but whether it was from a sleepless night of drinking or something more serious, I didn’t know.
“Come in,” she said, pushing the door wide open.
I entered slowly. The uneasy tension in the air was palpable. I turned back to Rowan and nodded for him to come along. He frowned and followed me, stroking Noodles for comfort the whole time.
Tiffany stopped beside a glass table in the center of the room. The elaborate basket sitting on it was the opposite of subtle. A dozen roses lay among a box of fancy chocolates, along with a velvet box that I assumed encased an expensive piece of jewelry. The whole thing was wrapped in red silk ribbon.
I glanced at the gift, then at Tiffany, not knowing what to say. What kind of reaction was she expecting from us?
“When I got home last night from the bar, I passed out right away. It wasn’t until I woke up in the morning that I saw this.” She nodded to the elaborate gift. “Mark got this for me.”
My jaw dropped. Beside me, Rowan still hadn’t spoken. He just stared at the basket.
Tiffany crossed her arms. “Do you really think he’d cheat on me after spending all this money for my sake?”
My heart dropped to my stomach as Tiffany’s true intent dawned on me. She was trying to prove us wrong about Mark—and apparently, Mark was too.
“Tiffany,” I began, but she cut me off.
“No. You know what? I don’t want to hear anymore,” she said. “I don’t know what kind of game you guys are playing, but it’s cruel and I want it to stop. I didn’t invite you here to try and ruin my relationship when nothing is wrong.”
I flinched. Dread coiled in my gut. As I stared between Tiffany’s exasperated and cold expression, and the magnitude of the gift next to her, I was speechless. It was clear Tiffany had already made up her mind. What else could I say?
“We’re not trying to hurt you, Tiffany,” I said as gently as possible. “We’re only trying to prevent you from getting hurt.”
That didn’t soothe her. In fact, she seemed even angrier. “Like I said to Rowan last time, you guys and your words are the ones hurting me. Not Mark. All he’s ever done is love me.”
An ugly feeling churned inside me—rage towards Mark and exasperation towards Tiffany. I wanted her to know the truth, but how could you speak to someone who wasn’t willing to listen?
“Are you sure?” Rowan asked bluntly.
Tiffany and I both stared him.
“Excuse me?” Tiffany snapped.
But Rowan wasn’t backing down. Whatever anxiety he’d felt about coming here was burned away by his radiating anger. “I said, are you sure all he’s ever done is love you? Because we just ran into him in the courtyard and he was being cagey as fuck.”
“Are you guys stalking him or something?” Tiffany cried.
“He’s up to something, Tiff,” Rowan said. “I don’t trust him. And frankly, I don’t think you should, either.”
Tiffany’s eyes widened before her expression twisted into anger and disbelief. “Get out. Now! I don’t wanna see you at my wedding! Either of you!”
I froze with shock. This wasn’t how I expected this to turn out at all. “Tiffany—”
“I trust Mark. I love him. And I’m done listening to you.”
All the hope I had that Tiffany would take my words to heart dissolved. I’d been afraid of this reaction.
“I’m not leaving until you open your eyes!” Rowan growled. “Can’t you see he’s just m
anipulating you?”
Something ugly flashed in Tiffany’s expression. She reached into the basket, pulled out the unopened box of chocolates and threw it Rowan. I watched in horror as Rowan flinched, ducking out of the way. The box crashed and skittered across the floor.
The room was quiet for a few beats. Rowan’s eyes were cold and glazed over. Without speaking, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
I saw the instant regret in Tiffany’s eyes. She watched him leave with her mouth open, as if wanting to call out to him and apologize, but Rowan was already gone.
“I—I didn’t want to hurt him,” Tiffany murmured quickly. “I was just upset. I only wanted him to go away.”
Well, she did a good job of accomplishing that, I thought, holding my tongue.
“I should go see if he’s all right,” I said.
Tiffany nodded, and I ran after Rowan, my heart lurching with dismay. If I lost him now, I’d kick myself. Thankfully I saw him down the hall, pushing open the door to the stairwell. I caught up with him.
“Rowan, wait,” I said.
“I don’t want to talk to her right now,” he muttered.
I didn’t want to tell him that I was the only one following him and that Tiffany hadn’t even made an offer to open a conversation.
“Are you all right?” I asked instead. My heart felt sticky and thick as I remembered Rowan’s awful story about Kyle. I hoped what happened didn’t trigger a rush of bad memories.
“No,” Rowan mumbled.
As he trudged down the steps, I leapt down them two at a time until I was next to him. He hung his head, trying to obscure his face, but I saw the tears in the corner of his wet eyes.
“Rowan,” I said, putting my hand on his collar to stop him. “Take a second to calm down.”
“I don’t want to calm down,” he snapped. “My cousin just threw something at me, ‘cause that’s what people who say they love me do, apparently!”
I winced, feeling a stab of sympathy. He was thinking about Kyle.
Rowan tried to shoulder past me, but I held him steady. He gritted his teeth together. I thought he might shout at me but instead he broke out into a frustrated sob.
“I’m so sick of this,” he said. “All I want to do is help. I wanted to help Kyle, and I wanted to help Tiff, but they just don’t give a shit about me. So why do I keep trying?”
He slumped down on the step and buried his face in his hand. Noodles dropped out of his lap and watched him worriedly.
“Tiffany isn’t Kyle,” I said gently. “She made a mistake. As soon as you left, she regretted doing that.”
“Well, she’s not the one talking to me right now, so I guess she doesn’t regret it that much,” he said bitterly.
“She’ll come around,” I promised. “She’s stressed right now. That’s not an excuse, but I’m sure once she has a minute, she’ll come find you and apologize.”
Rowan glanced up at me wearily. He looked exhausted, like his terrible past with Kyle still hung over his head and weighed him down in the present.
“The only person who says they love me and actually acts like it is my mom,” Rowan mumbled.
“She’s not the only person,” I argued.
Rowan rolled his eyes in exasperation, his voice raw with emotion. “Then who else?”
“Me.”
Rowan paused as he sucked in a soft breath. He stared at me like he couldn’t decide if his ears were playing tricks on him or not. But before he could start to doubt himself anymore, I took his hands in mine and held them close to my chest.
“I do,” I said. “So don’t think that you’re alone, or that nobody cares about you, because it’s not true.”
Rowan slowly exhaled the breath he was holding. He stared down at our joined hands.
“I guess. Thanks for being a friend,” he mumbled.
A flash of irritation hit me. Without thinking I grabbed his face and kissed him. It was soft and brief, just our lips touching, but when I pulled away, Rowan’s eyes were wide and full of wonder. I kept cradling the side of his cheek with my hand. It grew warmer by the second as his face flushed deeply.
“After all that’s happened between us, you still think I meant as a friend?” I asked.
“I…”
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he apparently couldn’t find the right words because he ended up just staring at the ground.
“Did I fry your brain?” I asked.
A scrap of his usual snarkiness returned to his expression now. “Yeah, you kinda did. Asshole.”
I chuckled. “Sorry.”
He blew out a breath. When he spoke, it was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Do you mean it?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Alec, you better not be pitying me because I’m upset,” Rowan mumbled.
“I usually don’t make out with people in order to cheer them up.”
“We didn’t make out. You didn’t even—”
I crushed my mouth against Rowan’s again, and this time I slipped my tongue past his parted lips and claimed him as my own. Rowan shuddered, letting his body fall against mine as the space between us disappeared. I was breathless when I pulled off this time.
“Better?” I asked.
Rowan nodded silently, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.
I felt the heavy thumping of his racing heart against my chest. Or maybe it was my own heartbeat. With the way they seemed to melt into one, I couldn’t tell anymore.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up,” he murmured at last.
I knew the words Rowan wasn’t saying: I don’t want this to turn out like last time.
“I’m not like him,” I said firmly. “The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.”
Rowan’s eyes flashed. Trust and vulnerability shone in his gaze. He pressed closer to me, if that was even possible. As the warmth of his body seeped into me, it only made the desire coiling in the pit of my stomach tauter.
“So, uh, how much time do we have before dinner?” he asked.
I smirked. “Depends on what you’re planning.”
He leaned up to whisper in my ear. The words sent an electric jolt of pleasure down my spine and sunk right down into my balls.
“Oh,” I said. “Plenty of time.”
25
Rowan
We rushed back to our room, and all my stress over Tiffany and Mark and the wedding was forgotten. The promise that maybe Alec really did care about me was a beacon of hope defeating my anxiety—for now.
It also helped that my dick was too hard to think about anything else.
I plopped Noodles on the ground with his dog bed, hoping he’d go to sleep and ignore us. By the time we stripped down, I was breathless and brainless from arousal.
Alec tossed the last of his clothes off and laid across the bed. “So, quick question,” he began, his voice rough, “when you mentioned fucking, you meant actual dick-in-ass fucking right, not just a colloquial let’s have sex thing?”
I snorted. “Yes, Alec, that’s generally what fucking refers to.”
“Great.” Alec nodded. “Uh, one more thing.”
I raised a brow, waiting expectantly. I didn’t know why, but for once Alec was the one looking a little embarrassed. A cute flush appeared on his cheeks.
“Yes, Alec?” I prompted.
“Okay, don’t laugh when I tell you this, because guys have laughed before,” he warned.
I scowled and climbed on the bed. “I don’t wanna hear about your past lays when we’re about to fuck.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Right. Sorry. Just in case you forgot, you’re the only one I want.”
“Good. And unless you’re gonna tell me your ass is a supermassive black hole or something, I’m not gonna laugh.” I paused. “Actually, if you say that, I won’t fuck you, since I value my dick too much to have it ripped off by gravitational acceleration.”
Alec sighed. “Sorry, you caught me. I
have BHAD. Black Hole Ass Disorder.”
“Sex is cancelled.”
He laughed, then shot me a wry look. “I guess you answered my question.”
“Which was?”
He grinned. “I was gonna ask if you were a top or bottom, but since you mentioned sticking your dick in my ass, I’m gonna guess the former.”
I shrugged. “I don’t really like labels, but I guess I’m vers. I prefer topping, though.”
“What a coincidence. We must really be perfect for each other.” He winked. “I’m vers but prefer bottoming.”
I raised a brow. “Wait, why have you gotten laughed at for that? I don’t get it.”
Alec made a noncommittal grunt. “Who knows. Maybe ‘cause I’m tall and have wide shoulders? I guess that’s mutually exclusive with getting my ass reamed.”
“Ah, yes,” I said. “Being tall automatically makes you a top, just like how me being short automatically makes me a bottom.”
Alec chuckled and wiggled his ass. “C’mon, hurry up and fuck me so we can shatter stereotypes.”
I grinned. It was nice to laugh and have fun with Alec during sex, which was something I never experienced with my ex. It was just one more thing I loved about Alec.
Impatient to get on with it, Alec fished a condom out of his bag and tossed it at me. I put it on and let my dick slip between the cleft of his ass. My heart threatened to explode from lust and excitement.
Alec glanced over his shoulder at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” My throat felt thick. “There’s probably something else you should know before we do this.”
“Oh, god,” Alec said with mock surprise. “It’s your dick that’s a black hole, isn’t it?”
I snorted. “No. Uh… Actually, I just wanted to tell you that I’ve never actually done this before.”
“Topped?”
I nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Yeah. I know I said I preferred it, but I meant in theory. With my ex, I wasn’t, uh… Allowed.”
I suddenly felt stupid for oversharing right before sex, but Alec smiled gently. “That’s okay. I mean, there’s not much to it. And I promise I’ll enjoy it no matter what.”
