by Jami Wagner
“I can’t let you do that,” I say, cutting the idea off.
“Why not? He’ll be at home. It’s not like I’m going out of my way and I want to, Conner.”
“You want to hang out with my four-year-old son?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t know …”
“I can handle it, I promise. I grew up in a house with tons of kids younger than me. I know what to do.”
A foster house, or brothers and sisters?
“Do you have a lot of brother and sisters?” I ask, taking the safe road.
“No” is her only answer before she gives her attention to Jake.
A few customers come in and I help them while Beth brings out a burger for Alex and chicken fingers for Jake. Somewhere in the next hour, I gave her my permission to watch Jake. Of course, it was after I texted Lucas, who said he could come in and relieve me of my shift around eight thirty.
I trust Alex, and I trust that he’ll be good for her. It’s only for a few hours. I just don’t want her to think that our being together means she needs to be responsible for him. Becoming an instant parent can freak a person out. I know from firsthand experience how stressful it can be. I’d never pick Alex over Jake, but being with her gives me hope that I can give Jake everything. I don’t want anything to ruin that. When Heather picks Jake up, I’m telling her it’s not going to work.
Alexis
Never did I think I would be that girl, the one who’s awkward with children. Growing up, everyone liked me. I was a fun person so be around. But now, hanging out with Jake is different. I never really cared if the other kids liked me, but this one … I want him to like me. And now that we’re alone without Conner, things are a bit … awkward.
Jake is sitting on the couch across from me with his arms crossed and the best scowl a four-year-old can give. He crosses his ankles and his eyes narrows. He looks just like his father.
Except this kid gives some seriously good dirty looks, where Conner’s never look like he’s mean mugging me.
His eyes shift with every move I make. He isn’t going to let me out of his sight.
“So,” I say, trying my hardest to let my expression give away the fact he’s making me a bit nervous, but this kid’s hard stare is about to make me crack. “What do you like to do for fun besides play basketball with your uncle and dad?”
He doesn’t say anything. He just keeps staring.
“Do you like to watch movies?”
I wait for him to respond or maybe even shake his head. I get nothing. This kid talks all the time. What has gotten into him?
“What about dinosaurs?”
I wait.
“Turtles?”
His eyes narrow less, but it’s something. Okay, it’s possible he likes turtles.
“Do you like the Ninja Turtles?”
His chin raises, and for a split second I think he’s going to speak, but then he quickly returns to his scowling state.
Damn.
What did I like as a kid? What games would I play in a house that didn’t have my toys? Who am I kidding—I hardly had any of my own toys and this kid has a room with all of his.
Think, think. Build a tent. No. Pretend the remote is a car? No. Oh, yes! I got it.
I jump onto my seat, my feet landing in the center on the small couch.
“Did you see that?” I ask, sounding amazed. “The lava, it boiled. Right there, right there by your foot.”
Jake peeks his small head over the edge of the couch. When he catches sight of the carpet, he looks at me, confused.
“Look! You missed it. I did it again.”
His head flashes back toward the ground. He stares for a minute before slowly reaching his hand over the couch.
“Don’t touch it,” I say, faking a panic. “It will burn you.”
His hand jerks back and he moves fast to stand on his couch cushion as well. A small smile starts to touch his lips as he watches me.
I jump to his same cushion.
“Don’t let your feet touch the floor or the lava will burn them,” I whisper. His eyes widen with excitement as he steps cautiously to the end of the sofa. He gently steps onto the end table next to him.
“Careful,” I say, both referring to the game we’re playing and to the fact I’m totally allowing this kid to climb on the furniture when I know I shouldn’t be.
Once both of his feet are planted on the table, he looks over at me with a huge smile. Quickly we move from couch to chair to table and back to the couch. Every now and then I pretend I’m about to fall, and once Jake even reached out to help me. He still hasn’t spoken, but from the joy written on his face and the loud giggles coming from his tiny body, I know I’m getting closer.
I’m on my hands and knees now, crawling across the sofa.
“Stop,” he says and I freeze. He places his small finger in front of his lips. “It can hear you.”
I fake the best scared face I can as I lean over the sofa to hide the smile that snuck out at the fact he talked. Finally. My eyes go wide as I get ready to pretend I fall in again. Jake’s serious face is back. My hand reaches closer to the carpet. He leans forward just a little.
“Fuck!” Conner yells as the front door slams against the wall.
A scream passes Jake’s lips as he leaps onto the chair. For real this time, I fall off the couch.
“What are you guys doing in here?” Conner asks as he steps into the living room. Jake scurries across the floor to where I fell.
“You made her fall.”
“You fell?” Conner rushes to me and helps me up.
“I didn’t fall, fall,” I say, glancing to the clock.
“Yes, you fell into the lava!” Jake shouts.
“The lava?” Conner asks.
“Yeah, we was playing a lava game, and we had to jump on the couch!”
I give my best smile as Conner glances at me with one eyebrow raised.
I just shrug.
“It happens, but more importantly, why are you storming into your apartment shouting profanities and how are you off when I left you an hour ago?”
Conner’s eyes capture me where I stand. He never lets the connection break, not even as a grin appears on his lips. He takes a deep breath and I do the same. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering. The urge to tilt my head slightly comes to me, to let it rest in his hand.
“Just a scheduling conflict that is long forgotten now that I’m home with the two of you, and Lucas was able to come in sooner. That guy is a workaholic.”
“Fuck,” Jake’s little voice says from somewhere around us.
Conner groans and I cover my smile with my hand. “You need to start watching your language. You know he repeats everything you say.”
“Yeah, I know.” His head drops and his hands go to his hips. “Hey, bud, what did I say about that word?”
“No.”
“Right, so why did you say it?” he asks, stepping up behind Jake at the table. In the time it took for Conner and me to stare at each other, Jake’s little attention span has forgotten all about the lava game and he’s already moved on to coloring at the table.
“My blue crayon broke,” he answers.
“Aw, that’s no fun. Let me see if I can find you another one,” Conner says, stepping over the rectangle Tupperware box full of crayons. We both sit with him at the table then, coloring for about a half hour before it’s time for Jake to get ready for bed.
Once he’s all tucked in, Conner comes down the hallway to find me in the living room. I’ve put in a movie and am sitting on the couch, hoping he doesn’t want me to leave quite yet. And I was right. He takes the seat next to me before kissing me and guiding me onto my back. I was going to tell him about me and Logan tonight, but this is a much, much better idea.
Chapter Nine
Conner
Alex steps out of the bathroom with wet hair, fully dressed in her work shirt.
“Not that I mind,”
I say from the living room. “But has Jace told you when he’s going to have your shower fixed?”
“All he keeps saying is, ‘I’m waiting on a part,’ and since I know nothing about plumbing, I have no reason not to believe him.”
“You could call someone else. Have them come look at it.”
“Yeah, but then I’d have to pay for it myself, and I’d miss out on all these awesome moments of being in your apartment.”
“Eh,” I joke with her.
She shoves me as she takes a seat next to me on the couch, kissing me in the process.
“What time do you have to work today?” I ask her.
“Eleven to five.”
“Would you be interested in joining Jake and me in the park tonight for a picnic dinner?”
“Just the three of us?” she asks as though she’s worried it won’t be.
“Yes.” Her eyes flutter around the apartment the exact way Logan’s do when he doesn’t know what to say. She’s done this before, and I never thought anything of it. Now, all I can think about is what Kelsey mentioned to me. I just need to come right out and ask Alex before I let it bother me much more.
“Please, Miss Alex. It will be so fun. They have swings and slides,” Jake says as he pokes his head out of his room. The two of them have been interacting a lot. The fact that Jake enjoys her company as much I do makes the idea of talking to Heather sound so simple.
“Is your bed made?” I ask. He isn’t supposed to come out till his room is clean. It’s something else he seems to be having a hard time with. My sister says getting him to clean his room at this age is tough and I might have to wait another year or two till it clicks, but my kid is smart and I think he’ll catch on sooner than she thinks.
He nods.
“And your toys are in their buckets?”
He puckers his lips and then disappears back in his room.
“Did he do something wrong?” Alex asks.
“No, why do you ask?”
“I always had to clean my room extra good when I was in trouble. It looked a little like what I just saw.”
Perfect opening line to ask her more, ignoring Beth’s advice completely.
“Done!” Jake hollers as he runs out of his room, preventing me from asking the question on my lips. Are you Logan’s sister?
Jake plops his small body between Alex’s and my own.
“Can we bring cookies to the park?” he asks. I find it weird that he’s looking at me and not Alex.
“Shouldn’t you be asking me that question?” she says, gaining his attention.
He shrugs. “I don’t like burnt cookies.”
Alex erupts into laughter as she stands and grabs her stuff.
“Once, I did that once,” she says as I follow her to the door. “I can’t believe you told him about that.”
“I’ll pick you up?” I ask, grinning at her playful tone.
“Sounds great.”
I kiss her goodbye and then head back into the living room where I proceed to play Ninja Turtles with my son, he as Donny and me as Shredder until it’s time to pack up a picnic and pick up Alex from work. I try to call Heather twice to see if whatever was going on a couple days ago is better today, and also because I don’t want to wait any longer to tell her about Alex, but just like the last two nights, she doesn’t answer any of my calls.
* * *
Four other cars fill the parking lot aside from mine as I head inside the gym. Must be a slow afternoon. Jake runs inside in front of me, slowing to let the automatic doors open for him.
Abby is standing behind the counter when we walk in. Her face breaks into a smile when she notices me, and I feel like a dick immediately because it’s the same type of smile Alex gives me. I know what that smile means, and even though I shouldn’t, I feel guilty that I don’t return those feelings for Abby.
“Well, this is a surprise. What brings in the two of you?” She stops folding the towel in her hands to give me her full attention. Pete walks up in the same moment.
“What, she can’t even work one day without you showing up?” he asks. I can’t tell by the tone of his voice if he’s annoyed or really bad at joking. It’s like a mix of sarcasm and light bitterness. We may have told him we were a couple before it was really true, but at least now we don’t need to pretend.
“I can, but yeah, I’m actually here to pick up Alex.”
Abby’s smile drops and she turns, resuming her task.
“You mean Alexis.” She mumbles the name in a sassy tone, but I caught it loud and clear. Maybe I was listening for it, or maybe it’s just what I was hoping to hear.
“Did you say Al—”
“Did you say my name?” Alex comes from the back room, where I know they keep the washing machines. She stops and gives me a beaming smile. “I’m almost done. Give me ten more minutes to finish picking up the weight room and I’ll meet you two outside.”
“I’ll help you,” Pete says, grinning at me as he strides past her.
I nod, say goodbye to Abby, and then convince Jake it’s better to let her finish than to bother her when he wants to run back to the basketball court before we return to the car. If I see him hitting on her or even standing too close, I’ll probably end up punching the guy.
When Alex comes out, she’s followed by Abby and the girl I saw her on the trails with. Skylar, I think was her name. Pete is nowhere to be found, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I’ve never been a jealous guy and I have to say I don’t like it. The best thing I can do here is to not even bring it up. This is still new.
Abby quickly walks away toward her car, and then Skyler waves as she backs away and sets off in the other direction. Alex doesn’t move for a moment before she heads for my truck.
“Is everything okay?” I ask as she buckles her seat belt.
“Yes. Abby is just being weird.” She sighs. “She was fine up until we left, and then it was like I was her least favorite person ever.”
I glance back to find Jake focused on his LeapPad.
“I may actually be the one to blame for that,” I say, backing out of the parking lot.
“Why?”
“Last year, Abby stayed with me and my buddy Logan for a while when she didn’t have a place to go. Somewhere during that time, she thought something was going to happen between the two of us. It wasn’t. Ever. But now I think she is taking the fact I’m not into her out on you.”
All I get is a blank stare. “Girls suck sometimes,” she says.
I agree and pull onto the road. Skylar is walking alone toward the center of town.
“Does she walk everywhere?” I ask.
“You know, I’m not quite sure.
“I thought you two were friends.”
“We are.”
“Do you think she needs a ride?”
“Really? I bet she’d love that. Slow down, I’ll ask her.”
I slow the truck as instructed and Alex rolls down her window. I catch a glimpse of Jake stretching his neck to look out the window.
“Hey, Skylar, do you need a ride?” Alex asks.
“No thanks.” Skylar stops walking only long enough to answer.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m just going to the diner across from the BA. I work the evening shift tonight.”
“I didn’t know you worked there.”
“It’s not really something I brag about.”
I pinch Alex’s side to get her attention. She jumps at my touch and then laughs, turning to face me.
“Tell her to come to the BA—it’s better money and I know she’ll get hired.”
“Conner says you should go to the BA. He might be able to set you up with a better paying job.”
“Seriously?” Skylar’s face lights up. “I don’t know anything about making drinks, though.”
“He can teach you,” Alex answers for me.
“Okay, I will.” She waves. “See you both later.”
Alex rolls up her window and gazes
at me with a smile.
“You’re turning out to be one of those extremely rare types, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“The guy who can do no wrong. Completely trustworthy and dependable.”
“Maybe, that depends.”
“On what?”
“Are you into that sort of guy?”
“Yes. One hundred percent.”
I reach over and lace her fingers through mine as we head for the park.
“It’s always about the percentages with you, isn’t it?”
She laughs but nods.
“Before I forget, this weekend a friend of mine is having a get together. It’d be cool if you can make it.”
“Yeah, sure, I’ll think about it.”
A spark runs through my veins at the idea that she might possibly go out with me. She always has an excuse—or really does have something going on—and the idea that I can finally introduce everyone to her thrills me. Right now might not be the best time to include that the gathering is at Logan’s house. If I mention it, it might spook her and then ruin the evening I have planned. But if I mention it and she doesn’t react, then I’ll know. I just don’t want to take that chance with Jake in the car.
Either that, or I’m not ready to face the truth, no matter how much I think about it.
Alexis
An evening picnic is exactly what I need. Ever since I left the gym, I’ve had the way Abby called me out right before we left work on my mind. She asked if Conner knew my first and last name. She was a snot about it because she’s seen the paperwork. But what stumps me is, if she knows, why hasn’t she told anyone? If she really is as evil as people say, she would have told someone by now, right?
Once we arrive at the park, we eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and then Jake runs off to play. Conner and I take a seat together on the blanket to watch him. Well, mostly Conner is watching him, my brain is all over the place. Conner kisses my shoulder and hugs me tighter from behind.
“Is everything okay? You seem distracted,” he says.
I sigh. This is the perfect moment to tell him. Blurt it out and I’ll no longer be keeping a secret from him. “Your best friend is my brother and I need help finding a way to tell him without him rejecting me” are the words resting on the tip of my tongue. If I could just leave it at that and not have Conner ask anything else, I’d be fine. I really don’t want to go into the details that I went through four different homes before someone kept me. I don’t think I can handle being rejected by anyone else in my life.
