Snark's Quest

by Timothy Ellis

  Dinner was being served on great platters served by waiters. There was enough variety of type of food to suit the cats, but the kitchen had hastily had to provide some fare suitable for humans. Anna was resigned to having rat stew, and was pleasantly surprised to find she was eating a sort of spicy dish instead, which tasted and looked like a type of chicken. She tried not to look as the cats ate freshly killed rodents and small birds. The rawness of the crunching of bones, the blood and gore, was particularly difficult to be able to keep her own food down.

  A cat was standing at the foot of the room, reciting what seemed to be some kind of long Ode or heroic story. Cats still talked with each other as the poem was being recited, and there seemed to be some intense conversations.

  She turned to the cat next to her. It looked like a very large and strange looking Lioness with the three arms and centaur like body of all of the cats. She cleared her throat.

  "So, how is the Council going so far?"

  The Lioness appraised her through slanted golden eyes.

  "It is going well. Your friend made some good points. We want to get to know you humans, and the species of other worlds. We wild cats have been isolated for too long. It is time to change."

  Anna nodded. It seemed to be a consensus from the conversations she had heard. She knew there were delegates firmly opposed to contact with her people. She knew they needed to be careful. Throughout human history, man had met new cultures and destroyed them. Queen Jane seemed to be different. But it was right to be cautious of all humans, while still taking advantage of the benefits.

  While she was enjoying herself, she was still frustrated and anxious. There had been no visions on the long voyage to the cat planet, and she was still no further along in trying to find a clue to help her find the Stone. She could see why Snark had insisted on this detour, but she was impatient.

  She turned to the cat on the other side of her. It was a Cat of the Plains. She had the bare wrinkled skin, big ears, and slanted eyes of Snark, which she was now used to, but where Snark had whitish-grey skin and down, this cat had cream skin, and slightly brown tinged ears, paws, feet, and tail. She had introduced herself as Sissness, and Anna knew she was some kind of academic.

  Sissness finished chewing on a bone, and addressed Anna politely.

  "I hear you are on some kind of quest."

  Anna nodded. How had this got around so quickly? Had Snark been blabbing?

  "Yes," she confirmed. "It’s something which is very important for me. I’m searching for something my family once owned, and for which we've been looking for a long time."

  "Can I ask what it is?"

  The cat seemed excited and interested.

  Anna was afraid of this. She didn’t want to talk about it really. She didn’t want anyone else getting any ideas.

  "It’s a family heirloom. A Stone."

  The cat nodded politely, but Anna didn’t continue. She changed the subject.

  "And you are an academic?"

  Sissness nodded enthusiastically.

  "Yes, a researcher at the Syntex Institute and Foundation. I’m a sociologist, anthropologist, and historian." She was proud of her qualifications. "It’s interesting you should mention a Stone. I’ve been doing some research of my people’s history, and I’ve come across reference to a Talisman. It's very interesting, but I haven’t had time to get very far…"

  She broke off as the cat next to her, who was sitting next to Snark, guffawed, clapped Snark on the shoulder, and snuffled into what seemed to be an alcoholic drink, if Jamie’s sudden enthusiasm for it was anything to go by.

  "Snipp is my ex mate," Sissness explained. "It seems he and Prrinks are old friends. I’m very lucky to have been at the Council meeting today, so I got an invitation to this dinner, and an opportunity to meet you." She smiled broadly. "In fact, this is such a good opportunity to study humans up close." She stopped suddenly, embarrassed. "I didn’t mean it like that! I’m so sorry. Of course I meant…"

  "Don’t worry," broke in Anna. "We’re all sounding each other out. And of course you would have a professional interest."

  She was amused at the cat being flustered, and her odd manners.

  "Oh, yes."

  She could see Jamie drinking with several cats. He seemed to be getting on very well with them.

  She turned back to Sissness.

  "Did you say, a, Talisman?"

  "Oh yes. It’s quite obscure, but I’ve found a reference to a talisman, or stepping stone. And at a much later date, a reference to 'Freedom will come with the Fortune of the Talisman'. While the first reference is in ancient history, and is associated with a god-like figure, which is a bit unusual, because cats have never really believed in gods as such, we’re too self-interested. Where was I? Anyway…"

  "A god-like figure?"

  "Yes. There’s a depiction of a figure, with apparently a halo…"

  Suddenly Sissness looked up. It was like she could see ghosts high up in the corner of the room, but there was nothing there. She turned and stared directly into Anna’s eyes.

  "A god-like figure," she repeated. "A Halo almost like a helmet."

  "A helmet?" Anna started. "Like a space suit helmet?"

  "The figure looked human. Now I’ve seen you in person, I'm inclined to think it’s the same…"

  "Sissness, I know we’ve only just met, but I need you to show me your research. It’s very important," Anna lied, "to the galaxy."

  "Important to the galaxy," Sissness repeated.

  She started. She'd been attacked directly after accessing the records in the library. But who would know? Why would they know? Wouldn’t they just remove them if they didn’t want them found? She shivered, and looked at Anna again.

  "Yes, of course. But it might be dangerous."

  She briefly explained. Anna’s eyes widened. Who else now knew about this?

  Jamie was having a great time. Great mates, the cats, and this cat wine was pretty potent stuff. But really a Scot could drink anyone under the table. It seemed maybe this was the case, as several of his companions had fallen asleep. He put his arm around the shoulders of a large cat creature with black stripes on white fur. It had a large skull, and bright green eyes. Its tail, nose, ears, and paws were black.

  "Maaaate," he said intelligently.

  "Maaate," replied the creature.

  They both started laughing, and couldn’t stop.

  "Barbecues," they both said at the same time.

  "Maaaate," they both said at the same time.

  The stripy creature slowly slid to the floor. Jamie looked down at him in surprise. Perhaps it was time to call it a night?

  Anna suddenly appeared in his field of vision.

  "You’re drunk."

  He giggled.

  Anna sighed.

  Jamie slid slowly down to join his friend on the floor.

  "Men!" said Anna to the unconscious forms at her feet.

  Thirty

  While the delegates returned to their various abodes and accommodations, and some were carried to theirs, Snark took the opportunity to spend some time with his family.

  The Grand Mother sat in the wide living area, with the grand-litters chasing toys, and the adults talking. Snark had been welcomed warmly by all, and felt quite content contemplating the life he’d been missing. He could have had his own family by now, he thought. On second thoughts, as several kittens caught hold of his feet with their sharp little teeth, perhaps not.

  He went and sat next to Grandmother. She'd been a constant in his life growing up as a kitten and unruly teenager.

  "So Prrinks", she started. "You’ve seen a few things in your voyages across the galaxy."

  "A few."

  "Are we going to be alright? Our world I mean."

  Snark thought hard. He wanted to be honest.

  "I don’t know," he replied. "I think so. Queen Jane liked me, even though I know I'm a grumpy old sod, so perhaps they find us likable."

  "That’s not qu
ite what I meant."

  Snark looked into the distance. This was a bit intense for him. He was just a trader after all.

  "If we play our cards right. I think the humans like to think they’re the boss. If we play it cool and suck up to them, just enough mind, so they think they’re in control, but we really influence the agenda, I think we’re in a good position. "

  "Is this what you’ve been doing?"

  "Not quite," he replied. "I’m too obstreperous to suck up too much. And Jane liked me being myself. I quite enjoyed our verbal sparring. Sometimes it was hard keeping a straight face."

  "You use her name without a title. Were you that close?"

  "Not really, but Jane seems to be a very unpretentious sort of person. She uses titles only when necessary. At her coronation, she made a point of telling people what not to call her."

  "Perhaps that’s the approach then. We behave like friends giving good advice, and subtly influence from the side."

  "Perhaps. Below and to the side though. Anna is actually short, compared to some of the humans. We need a way to be at eye level with them, instead of looking up all the time. If we’re always beneath them, some of them will consider us actually beneath them. Mind you, the fuzzball who was appointed an advisor to the Queen's court, had a gravity sled of some kind. Maybe we should try and get some, so we can float around at their head height. Just a thought."

  "Thank you, Prrinks."

  "What for?"

  "You were always difficult. But this time you’ve come through for us."

  Snark smiled. It was enough.

  Thirty One

  The final session of the Council was in progress.

  The motion to establish an alliance with the Kingdom of Hunter's Run was carried. Another motion to establish a defence committee tasked with increasing the defensive capacity of the system, was also carried.

  Anna spoke at length about her people, and the rest of the humans as she knew them. She also said how impressed she was with the homeworld of the Scots system. She was applauded warmly.

  A further motion was raised regarding trade and technology. Another committee was set up to regulate the introduction of new technology, in order to minimise the negative impact it could have on society, while increasing innovation, and the benefits it could bring.

  The Wild Ones had put forward a motion for debate in relation to their equal rights for representation in the Sector Eight Council. Also that there should be a Cat World Wide Council to select, and advise this representative. The debate had raged for several days, but the final vote was being put forward now.

  There was a hush in the auditorium as the vote was counted. The screen’s graph shifted, grew, and settled. Equal votes. It was that close.

  The Grand Mother stood.

  "I have the deciding vote," she declared.

  At that moment everything seemed to Snark to move in slow motion.

  As the Grand Mother turned to him at her side, a beam of light streaked towards them, and later a swishing sound filled his senses. Grandmother fell towards him, and he caught her in his arms. He gently lowered her to the floor. Aides rushed in and surrounded them.

  Sissness was in the auditorium, but had just stepped out to use the facilities. As she returned, she heard screams and panic. She saw a figure in a heavy cloak rushing towards her. She recognised a clicking sound, and as he passed, she put out a leg. He tripped, summersaulted and rolled, before hitting a wall, and sliding down where he fetched up. She rushed over to him, and hit him over the head with her tablet. The glass cracked, and he slumped down. She hoped she had it right. Security officers soon rushed towards her and apprehended the cat, who was stirring. At least she hadn’t killed him.

  There was panic in the auditorium as people tried to flee and get away. Security guards were searching through the crowds. They found a strange gun, and held it up in a plastic bag.

  Snark was still with his grandmother. A doctor had rushed in, who was now bent over her. God help them if she should die. A stretcher was brought forward, and she was carried out of the auditorium to a waiting ambulance. As they left, Snark saw the gun, and was appalled. He'd recognised a human laser shot, as it streaked directly towards the Grand Mother. But he'd discounted it as his eyes playing tricks on him. But the gun was real, and he recognised it as one used by the security officers around the Human Federation Ambassador, at the coronation.

  He made a mental note to inform Jane her security had failed, and in all likelihood, she had some sort of underworld presence on her stations already. Maybe even Brotherhood.

  The last thing he heard as they left the room was an aide calling out over the mayhem.

  "Session adjourned!"

  No-one else heard him as the auditorium emptied.

  Thirty Two

  Jamie and Anna were stunned. Snark was now standing next to a security officer who was holding the bagged human laser gun. Nothing else like it existed anywhere in the galaxy. Except of course, with the humans.

  Snark was arguing with the security cats.

  "I know what it is. But it’s nothing to do with us. You’ve seen where we were at the time of the shooting, on the stage."

  "It’s a human gun. You yourself recognised it."

  "Anyone could have fired it."

  "But where did they get it?"

  Snark had no answer for them, although it seemed simple enough to him.

  Media cats were outside clamouring for answers. He knew what would happen. In the absence of facts, they would make up whatever story fit their purposes. He could see the headlines: 'Crazed Human Kills Grand Mother'. Everything which had been achieved at the council was in jeopardy. Especially since the final motion had not actually been passed.

  The Wild Ones were gathered together. They could see their bid for equality quashed.

  Snark knew the outcome of any investigation depended heavily on having the right investigating officer. He knew all too well what could happen, where there was incompetence, bias, and corrupt practice.

  A figure shuffled onto the platform. Snark recognised him. Incompetence, bias, and corrupt practice, on four legs. The figure looked up and recognised Snark. He laughed.

  "Well Prrinks. You’re back. And in trouble again."

  Snark’s heart sank and his stomach turned over. Minssner. It was the same police officer who'd investigated his own case so many years ago. He was doomed.

  Sissness was in a police room sitting on a very uncomfortable chair. She'd been waiting for too long, and no one had come to get her side of the story. This didn’t make sense. She'd seen him acting suspiciously before, had put two and two together, and come up with four. It was simple. She’d heard the gun was a human gun, and what better way to cast suspicion on the humans, and cause a break down in relations between the humans and cats. It was so obvious, she couldn’t understand why she was being left here in isolation so long.

  Finally the door opened. and a figure entered. She decided she disliked him on sight. His ears were ragged, his demeanour condescending, and he shuffled rather than walked.

  "Miss Sissness," he said. His tone was insulting. He made the 'Miss' seem like she was a promiscuous flirt.

  She held her nose high.

  "You’ve interfered with a police investigation. You've assaulted a perfectly innocent bystander. You are hereby charged with assault."

  She was shocked. This was preposterous!

  "I want a lawyer."

  The detective, he hadn’t even introduced himself, smiled, and purred.

  It was touch and go. The Grand Mother had been in surgery. At her age, anything could happen. Snark was on tenterhooks. The family were at the hospital, but he was at the police station.

  "I put it to you, you have had this human laser gun in your possession for some time. I put it to you, you hired an assassin, and gave him the gun. The assassin got away in the panic following the shooting, but left the gun behind. I put it to you, you wanted revenge. You organised the Grand Mot
her’s murder."

  This was insane.

  "What reason could I possibly have to order my own grandmother’s murder?"

  "You’re a malcontent. You’ve come back after all this time with a grudge. The Grand Mother didn’t do what you wanted, and you organised to have her killed."

  "Why would I use such an obvious weapon? Why would I want to disrupt good relationships with the humans? This is ludicrous."

  The detective leaned back in his chair. He smiled.

  "I’m charging you with murder with intent."

  Snark face palmed.

  Jamie and Anna couldn’t seem to find anything out. They'd been forced to return to the space port, and treated like 'aliens'. It seemed they were under some kind of house arrest, which was ludicrous given they had nowhere on the planet to be limited to. Not being allowed back up to their ship, they'd taken a suite at a better class hotel. There were police cats outside their door.

  "Something is very wrong here," said Anna. "Everything was fine until this attempt on the Grand Mother’s life."

  Anna began pacing back and forth in a small space.

  "It’s like someone is orchestrating events behind the scenes," said Jamie.

  "Yes, exactly." Anna stopped pacing. "That’s it exactly." She crossed to her tablet on the table. "Qui bono?" she asked.

  "What?"

  "Who benefits?" Anna shook her head. "The beings to benefit from this are the conservatives, who don’t want contact with the humans. Also Bhatet. He wants this sector to be fragmented so he can move in. And the Brotherhood, doing Bhatet’s bidding. But perhaps they have their own agenda? Perhaps they are operating for their own interests?"

  "It also stops us from forming alliances with the cats. Perhaps this is also about your mission?"