Snark's Quest

by Timothy Ellis

  He prided himself on his rise to power, and relished his command of all who came into his sphere of influence. He loved power above everything. Power gave him a thrill, whereas nothing else did. The power over life, and over death particularly. But also wealth creation, and what Gals could bring. Also finding the weaknesses of individuals, to humiliate them, and destroy their very essence. These were the things he loved most.

  Power had to be nurtured and fed, and he loved stoking the fires of his passion. But he always wanted more. His appetite was voracious. Keeping his friends and enemies alike on the back foot, by never having consistent policy and changing his mind constantly, he managed to stay on top.

  He’d first heard about the Destiny Stone from a captured Russian human. One who'd abandoned his fellow humans’ cause, and fell into Bhatet’s hands. Supplying him with the Purple Plant drug until he’d died, he’d variously flattered, and tortured him, into giving up his secrets.

  A human princess! The very thought made him salivate. Humans were unknown in his area of the galaxy, until he’d bought this pathetic Russian human, and heard the news about Queen Jane, and the defeat of the Owls.

  While he speculated at Queen Jane’s easy annihilation of the Owls, he wondered what competition she and the Human Federation would be. Meanwhile, he made the most of the vacuum created by the defeat of the Owls. It was a pity his lucrative trade in the purple plant had been curtailed, but there were other narcotics and substances the galaxy still wanted to trade in. He was facing a revenue shortfall though. His interest in the Destiny Stone was peripheral to raising much needed cash, and taking over the cat system was one strategy amongst many.

  However, he hadn’t anticipated defeat by the cats. He’d given the leader of the Brotherhood a piece of his mind, and a reminder of who was in charge, as he considered the failure to be as a direct result of their botch up. He’d of course tried to defeat the Brotherhood, but they were difficult to find to defeat. As they were a religious sect, you could cut off one head, and several more would grow in its place. He found them more useful as his intelligence arm, his revenue gatherers, and his advance guard.

  He was still bored. He waved one Hyena arm, and dismissed the dancing hippo-centaur-like creatures. He waved another, and the rest of the slaves and minions backed out, ushering the remaining petitioners with them.

  Bhatet heaved himself up from the couch, and retreated through the back entrance to his podium to his suite of rooms. He sat in a specially made chair at his console. From here, he controlled his Empire, the systems, and business interests. He kept a bulging blood red eye on everything. There wasn’t a government, media outlet, or narcotics ring, he didn’t know everything about, or what they were doing, or weren’t doing. Through the Brotherhood, his intelligence was thorough, well laid out for him, and in tune with his priorities. And that was power.

  He brought up the vid footage of the Seasprite. Silly name for a very powerful ship. He wanted it. He knew he would get it, but when? It must be soon.

  And the humans. Queen Jane. Hmmm. He was learning more all the time, and would soon find their weaknesses. Everyone had a weakness or fear which could be exploited. The Russian human had taught him a lot before he’d died. He licked his thick lips. Queen Jane had power, and he wanted it as well. He knew he would get it, and when he did, the galaxy was his.

  He could laugh an evil laugh at this point, but he didn’t laugh.

  Ever.

  Forty Seven

  Seasprite powered away from the Cat World.

  The crew had expanded to include Patters, along with an armoury of her weapons, particularly several efficient looking bows of different kinds, and supplies of arrows. Jamie was glad she was coming. She was a great fighter, fast, with whip like reactions, and would bolster their personal ability to fight if needed. He knew Anna was feisty, but freely admitted she wouldn’t know one end of a gun from another, although he was trying to teach her.

  And curiously, another cat was coming with them. Anna had persuaded Snark and himself she would be valuable in gathering intelligence, and researching their next steps in the search for the Destiny Stone.

  Sissness had at first wanted just to delve into their on-board library, but when Anna had suggested she come with them, she'd had to think carefully. This was an adventure that perhaps she’d always been waiting for. To be able to go beyond the library, and experience things first hand. But it was also terrifying. The library and old records were safe. In the end, her curiosity won. She had to see for herself.

  Snark was curiously quiet. He kept himself to himself, and was not even getting grumpy with the humans much. They all wondered what was going on, but respected his privacy.

  Fitzy had given them a last briefing. He’d shared a range of intelligence on Bhatet and the Brotherhood, and reassured them he would contact them with further news as he got it.

  A new Grand Mother was being groomed as the current Grand Mother’s successor. Everyone hoped it wouldn’t be for a while yet, but Preddle was being schooled in a range of skills she would need to take over when the time came.

  Snark had not had another meeting with Grandmother, but had read the papers she'd given him. Some of it he knew he should probably share with the others, but he wanted to digest it all first. It was a series of notes from dreams and visions his Grandmother had been having over a long time, and had linked together in relation to the Destiny Stone, and what she was calling the cold evil. He’d wondered perhaps if the cold evil was Bhatet and the Brotherhood. Having read the notes, he no longer believed it. The cold evil was in a whole order beyond terrifying. He'd wondered if he’d see Grandmother again. He hoped so.

  As Seasprite left orbit, Patters and Sissness looked out at the diminishing planet which was their Homeworld. It was a fantastic sight for them, leaving them with a range of feelings; awe, fear, a frisson of excitement, and grief at leaving. When would they return?

  Jamie and Snark had set a course for a station in the Patch system. It was close by, and was home to the shipbuilding outfit which could possibly help them with their repairs, and also replenish their armoury. They were taking a big risk in exposing the technology of the humans to a commercial enterprise which they couldn't trust to keep it secret. They'd all discussed possible approaches to how to manage it, and made a complete list of the repairs needed. If they could limit the shipbuilder’s exposure to the external damage, they would minimise the risk. The main risk which couldn’t be avoided, was in repairing the damaged weapon systems.

  And they needed more missiles. They could order these from schematics, but they were completely new to this part of the galaxy.

  Sissness was revelling in the new information available to her in the ship’s library. Although it tended to focus on Russian human history, it was fascinating! She had a wealth of data for several thousand research projects! She tried to focus just on the Destiny Stone, but she was like a kitten in a toy shop. Before they’d left they’d also uploaded a whole section of the cat library, so she could continue her research there.

  Patters was learning the weapons systems of the Seasprite, so she could be part of the crew during a space fight. It was a huge leap in her understanding of technology. The Cats of the Plains had always thought the Wild Ones were technically behind them, however this wasn't so. Tech had been used to enhance the way of life the Wild Ones wanted to live, but not to give up on the old ways.

  She knew though, she had so much to learn. Jamie was teaching her, but even though she was a fast learner, it was slow going. Part of this she recognised as being a lack of experience on Jamie's part. He was only a few steps in front of her. But she was confident. Weapons and hunting were her area of excellence.

  Anna was also deep in research again. She was trying a new tack, and not focusing on any stones, but on a Talisman instead. Perhaps this would throw up some clues?

  It didn’t take long to get to the Patch system. It was a five-planet system, with a single barely habitable pla
net in the habitable zone. No-one lived there according to the cat's database.

  The station was in orbit around the large moon of the third planet, and was called Patchet. The shipbuilding outfit was also called Patchet, Patchet Enterprises.

  They opened a coms channel, and the Owner-Engineer answered.

  "Patchet Enterprises, you break it, we fix it!"

  Jamie, Anna, and Snark all looked at each other in disbelief. Not at the corny tag line, but at the voice and the language. It was English! The accent was a bit weird, but this was something finally going right for them. This was someone they could deal with. Was he human?

  Jamie got his voice together, and answered.

  "This is the Seasprite in need of a few repairs," he started in a nonchalant way.

  "Bugger me!" came the voice again. "If that isn’t some Scots bastard, I’m a monkey's bum. Or was it a monkey’s fart? Oh never mind." He got himself together and continued. "Human?"

  "Aye, last time I looked! Oh and a few others."

  "Well come on down!"

  There was some toing and froing about docking arrangements, and how to do this, coms with the Station Chief Officer, and some swearing involved, and they were soon hooked up to the station. Snark, Jamie, and Anna disembarked to liaise with the Ship Builder, while the cat females stayed on Seasprite.

  "Bloody hell!" exclaimed Jamie.

  They had found a wide-open doorway to what looked like a workshop. A figure was standing amongst various entrails of ships, engine parts, computer systems, wiring, and gun emplacements. There was a seedy unkemptness about the whole place. While you wouldn’t necessarily expect complete cleanliness, an ordered operation indicated an ordered mind. What this indicated was anyone’s guess.

  The figure came towards them out of the dim light of the workshop, and into the light of the doorway. Anna recoiled slightly before her breeding and training took control, and she smiled and offered her hand.

  "Pleased to make your acquaintance. I’m Anna Romanova."

  The light slanted across a face with a bandage around the head, pit marks in the skin, oil smears, and an ugly, puckering scar running from the top and side of one eye all the way down the cheek to the chin. Tattered remnants of overalls hung off a gaunt frame. A gnarled hand emerged from what looked like a pocket, and belatedly rubbed itself in a futile effort at cleanliness, before reaching slowly up to shake her hand.

  A smile creased through the grime of his face, revealing broken and blackened teeth.

  "A posh Russki and all," he guffawed, wheezed, and turned to Jamie.

  "You’ll be the Scots git!"

  Jamie also grinned and shook his hand with gusto.

  "Jamie Anderson."

  "And this is?" the hand waving towards Snark.

  "Snark," said Snark.

  "And a cat thing!"

  The hand offered itself down to Snark, who took it with some reluctance, and they shook solemnly.

  "I’m the 'Patchet' of Patchet Enterprises. Jerry. Patchet. Just call me Patchet."

  They all stood blinking at each other for a few moments.

  "Well come on in."

  He led them into the dimness of the workshop, and they picked their way after him.

  "Humans," he cackled to himself. "And a cat thing," he chuckled.

  They came to an old chair which looked like it had formed itself around Patchet’s form. Some beer containers lay scattered on the floor, one open on the top of what looked like part of an engine casing, which was passing as a table.

  "Manners," he reminded himself.

  He flailed around a bit, and pushed forward a barrel, a box, and a plastic stool, which he lovingly wiped clean with an oily rag before offering it to Anna.

  He stooped down to what was a cooling unit, and removed some beer containers. They all sat, and he passed them around.

  "Cheers," he toasted with a swing of his container, and promptly upended it.

  After a long while, he lowered the container, and swiped his hand across his mouth, and sighed. He looked around the others.

  "Bottoms up," he encouraged.

  They all took a swig, sip, and sniff.

  "So," he said, taking another swig. "What can Patchet do for you?"

  Forty Eight

  It took some time to discuss their needs, and get him to come to the party. He kept interrupting with "Humans!" and "A cat thing!" at odd moments, and shaking his head in disbelief. When he saw the ship through a porthole, he sighed a deep sigh.

  "Sleek. A bit of a beauty." He turned to Anna. "Not in your league of course," and he cackled in what he thought was a gentlemanly tone.

  When he saw what they wanted done, he wasn’t fazed, but he put one finger against his nose, and tapped it knowingly.

  "So what aren’t you telling me? Eh?" and smiled lopsidedly.

  Jamie looked at Anna and Snark.

  "She’s a wee more advanced than local ships for this part of the galaxy," offered Jamie.

  "Really?" he cackled again. "Not something to do with Queen Jane’s lot?"

  "Err, no," said Snark.

  "Hmmm."

  "So what do you think?"

  "It’s a little the worse for wear? What did you do, run into Bhatet’s mob?"

  He was so on the money, Jamie, Snark, and Anna were hard pressed to keep their expressions neutral.

  "I’m right, aren’t I?" he cackled again.

  "Well," Jamie started, dragging out the vowel. "Just a bit."

  "I’d know those scorch marks anywhere," he sighed.

  "Can you fix her?"

  "I’ll give it a bit of a go," he said noncommittally. "But you’ll need to tell me what’s what. I don’t like to leave a job half finished."

  "We need to consult and come back to you," Anna said.

  "I’ve got all the time in the world, luv."

  The three of them picked their way carefully to a space out of earshot of Patchet. Snark jumped up on some kind of fan casing.

  "I don’t like it," said Anna. "Look at this place!"

  "We don’t have much choice," countered Jamie.

  "We can’t trust him as far as we can throw him."

  Anna was adamant.

  "Probably not," Snark hissed, "but we need repairs, and he is all we’ve got at the moment."

  Anna looked at her feet. She didn’t like it but she knew they were out of options.

  "But we don’t have to tell him anything", she said.

  Jamie looked at her.

  "I ken he’s actually smart. Smarter than he lets us believe. I think he’ll work things out anyway."

  Snark’s whiskers were standing straight out.

  "We need to know we can trust him. What kind of deal can we make him which will keep his mouth shut, and stop him selling the Seasprite’s secrets to the highest bidder?"

  "We need to get to know him better," said Anna.

  "Ye offering?" smiled Jamie.

  "God no!" Anna thought quickly. "I think a bit of human male bonding might be in order." She smiled back. "Maybe just make that male," she added, looking at Snark. She smiled.

  A little while later, the three males were actually bonding. First over beer, and then over some kind of paint stripper which left Jamie and Snark gagging. They swapped stories.

  "So how did you get here?" asked Jamie with real interest.

  "Oh, been around," Patchet grinned.

  "We Scots are the only humans in the galaxy we ever knew about, before Queen Jane arrived. You’ve been here longer than Jane!"

  "Yeah. You could say that." He gulped some paint stripper. It seemed to have no effect. "We Patchets came here, oh three generations ago. One day Granddad got into an argument with some blokes in a pub, Aussie sector. And next thing you know, he’s scarpered with this guy’s ship. He didn’t want to get caught, so he loaded us all on board. Couple of jumps later, have to say he was drunk as a skunk, we ended up in this other galaxy, full of cat things, bat things, croc things, you name it, this place has
got it!" He cackled and picked at his teeth. "Owl things too," he scowled. "Of course, one day I woke up with no memory of how we got here, and had to read Grandad's journals to find out our history."

  Snark hissed in sympathy.

  "But you’re the first humans I’ve seen since I was a lad, and we got this far", he seemed almost excited and then subsided. "Seen a few cats," he added thoughtfully. "How’d you get here?" he asked suddenly.

  "My ancestors did much the same as your Grandad, as in got drunk in a pub, and ended up in this part of the galaxy, but it was about three hundred odd years ago," said Jamie. "And they crash landed on thankfully a suitable planet. We’ve been there ever since."

  "And I’m a Cat of the Plains," Snark said sarcastically. "We’ve always been here."

  "Cats! Very fond of cats," Patchet scratched his armpit. "Scots. Very like the Aussies. Wouldn’t want to get into a pissing match with Scots."

  "So you’re here on your own?" fished Jamie.

  Patchet looked up.

  "You could say that," he said. "Mum and Dad died, oh, long time ago. Grandad went on for ever, the sod." He smiled to himself. "Taught me everything he knew, and then some. Nicky and Pete made their own way, left ages ago. But I’m still here running the business."

  "Business good?" asked Jamie

  "Oh, you know, can’t complain. It’s a bit out of the way here."

  "But you know a Bhatet scorch mark when you see it."

  He chuckled.

  "Bhatet’s all over this sector. You get a feel for it!"

  "We’d like to avoid him if at all possible."

  "Might be difficult. He’s got his tentacles into everything."

  "Tentacles?"

  "You obviously don’t know him then," said Patchet. "Ugly."