Close Ups and Mess Ups

by Natasha West

  Her hand, ever so subtly, slipped behind me and she squeezed my bottom gently. ‘Not a bit.’

  Electricity flowed up my spine and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I turned to look at her, the words, ‘Shall we head back to mine’ sitting in my mouth, waiting to be set free. But before I could speak them, I saw someone walk into my sight line and turn around. Cameron. I dearly didn’t want her to see me right now, to walk over here and start talking. It would be far too confusing a situation to navigate.

  But guess what?

  ‘Allie!’ Cameron said, as she saw me. I heard the lightest sigh come from Ashley. She seemed to know we were about to be delayed.

  ‘Hi’ Cameron said breezily. ‘I was just checking in about the script, thought you might want to talk about it a bit more. Sorry I had to dash earlier.’

  ‘Oh, that’s fine. Actually…’

  ‘We’ve got plans’ Ashley said from beside me. I looked at her, trying not to let shock enter my features. What the hell was she doing? What happened to discretion?

  But she looked cool as anything. I looked back at Cameron, whose brow had furrowed. ‘Oh. I see.’

  ‘I’m getting a jump on the plans for the final term project’ I began to babble. ‘Ashley’s going to do production design and she wants to take me through her ideas.’

  ‘You’ve got a project in mind?’ Cameron asked. ‘That’s very… pro-active of you’ Cameron said. But she wasn’t looking at me when she said it. She was looking at Ashley. She began to chew the inside of her mouth.

  ‘Let’s meet before class tomorrow?’ I suggested to Cameron, trying to break this odd tension. What the hell was all this? There was a weird vibe zipping around and I felt like I wasn’t really involved in it. I was standing outside of it, trying to catch a hold of it. What was I missing?

  ‘Alright, great, speak to you tomorrow then’ Cameron said and ran off before I could say anything else. I was left alone with Ashley who immediately drained her drink and said, ‘Come on.’ She walked away. I scuttled behind her.

  ‘Where are we going?’

  Apparently, we were going to her set. It was a bedroom with only three walls and it was beautiful. It smelt of fresh paint and wood shavings. Not sexy scents but the visuals more than made up for that.

  ‘Is it period?’ I asked, marvelling at the four-poster bed in the centre of a room that looked like something out of a Jane Austen adaptation.

  ‘Yep, that’s our focus this term. You choose a time and build something with period detail. This is Regency England.’

  ‘It’s gorgeous.’

  ‘Thank you’ she said, almost shyly.

  ‘Is this a period you’re into? Visually?’

  ‘One of them. People now, they get some shit from Ikea and it’ll be thrown out after a few years. Because it won’t look good anymore. But a few hundred years ago, they knew what timeless beauty was.’

  I listened to Ashley talk about her work and for the first time, I realised just how good she was at what she did. She’d had very little to do on my set, just collected a few props and designed the look of the central character, gave her opinions on what she thought would translate onto the screen best. But this was the real Ashley, what was in her heart right out in front of me. It was quite a thing to see.

  And then she took me by the hand and pulled me onto the set and onto the bed.

  ‘Will the bed be alright?’ I cried, genuinely concerned for the beautiful room.

  ‘This bed was made with my own hands. It’ll hold up to whatever we throw at it’ she told me confidently.

  She lay down on the bed, on top of the sheets. I joined her and we lay for a moment, side by side, looking up at where the walls ended, no ceiling on the set. Ashley rolled over, facing me and put a hand on my stomach. I placed mine on top of hers and we looked at each other. My mouth felt dry, my temple moist. In an ideal world, it would have been the other way around. But I was feeling overwhelmed, scared of how gorgeous she was. And then she smiled and leaned in to kiss me and I forgot to panic, her lips removing all fear. She slid on top of me, every inch of her body against me as we kissed and I had forgotten just how good those full lips felt. I felt like she was devouring me and I wanted that, wanted her to eat me alive. This was more than I’d imagined. She was like a treat to every sense. She leaned into my neck and I closed my eyes, hearing myself moan. And then my eyes flickered open and I saw that lack of ceiling again.

  I suddenly realised we weren’t in some beautiful private hotel room, we were in a three-walled box on a soundstage. ‘Wait, wait’ I said, trying to gather myself back up. Ashley leaned up from my neck to meet my eyes. ‘Someone could walk in here any second’ I told her.

  Ashley glanced at the doors on the other side of the stage. ‘I guess they might. Does that bother you?’

  ‘It doesn’t bother you?’ I asked.

  ‘I thought that was the fun of it’ she told me. She got up, taking her top off. I glanced quickly at the door, but I was starting to think that maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to live dangerously. It gave this whole thing an extra edge I’d never experienced. Ashley’s bra came off next and now there was no way in hell I would have put the brakes on. I pulled off my own top quickly, Ashley adding a helpful hand, and then she reached around and I leaned up to give her access to my bra, which she swiftly and expertly removed. We were now both naked from the waist up and I grabbed hold of her feverishly and pulled her toward me, feeling her soft, full breasts against my own.

  Soon enough, all clothes were gone, the sheets had fallen off the bed and Ashley was astride me, our legs intertwined as she pushed her wetness against my own and right then I wouldn’t have cared if the director of the school had walked in and screamed the place down. I would have just said, ‘Hold your horses, I’m almost there’ and carried right on. Seeing her in that perfect halo of golden light, her head thrown back, her body like a statue of a Greek goddess, grinding against me with that incredible force of passion, I was feeling a pressure mount, a shocking pleasure that would have put my MDMA high to shame. Ashley herself was the drug here, of that I was in no doubt.

  ‘Oh god’ I cried out, almost screaming it. And then I let go of a deep breath and collapsed my rigid body, spent and delirious. But Ashley wasn’t quite done and she grabbed hold of my hand and pressed it to herself. Despite my exhaustion, I went with her suggestion quickly. I felt her body slide down on top of me, my hand trapped between us, moving back and forth as I heard her sigh and moan. She began to go taut and I sped my movement. She suddenly bit down on my shoulder as she cried out, just hard enough to feel a little exquisite pain. And then she went limp on top of me and I slid my hand away.

  We lay there for minutes, Ashley’s naked body on top of my own. We didn’t move. We couldn’t move, I should say.

  Moments later, I came to, somehow having nodded off and I heard Ashley say, ‘Quick!’ I regained consciousness at speed, catching up to the situation quickly. Someone was about to catch us. We both leapt up and grabbed our clothes, jumping down between the bed and the fake wall, hidden from the rest of the sound stage. Just.

  ‘Is someone in here’ cried a gruff, distant voice. Ashley looked at me and pressed her lips together, trying to suppress a laugh. Frightened as I was, I felt the sudden urge to laugh too. I clapped a hand over my own mouth and we looked at each other, ducked and hiding, naked, trying not to give ourselves away. I was scared but also having fun.

  The footsteps came deeper into the room and now I wanted to laugh like you wouldn’t believe. I had to bite down on my hand to stop it. Ashley saw that and grinned at me.

  Eventually, the footsteps moved away, and I knew we were safe. Until I heard the click of a switch being flipped. We were thrown into abject darkness as the man, whoever he was, turned the lights off on his way out.

  I couldn’t see a thing, but I heard Ashley whisper, ‘I think he’s gone.’

  ‘Do you have your phone handy?’ I asked her.
‘I’m totally blind.’

  She began to scuffle around in her clothes. A moment later, ‘I don’t know where it is.’

  Shit. We were in a huge soundstage, naked, in the dark. What had been glorious a while ago had been twisted into absurdity. Which just about summed up my whole life.

  ‘Hold on’ I told her, searching for my own phone. I found it a minute later and switched on the torch function, a tinny light. I put it on the bed facing upwards and we both began to get dressed in the near dark.

  ‘I thought he was going to catch us for sure’ I said, clipping my bra back on.

  ‘I don’t know, I thought his timing was perfect. Ten minutes earlier would have been a lot more inconvenient’ she said with a light grin as she slid her top on.

  I felt suddenly shy at the reference to what had been happening only moments ago. It was silly. I’d seemed to have no inhibitions when the clothes were coming off. But now I was the blushing virgin. It was preposterous.

  Once we were fully dressed, I picked up my phone and Ashley stepped carefully down off the set, and she reached up a hand to help my down. I took the hand, oddly touched by the small gesture. Things had been sexy, but the hand - I don’t know - I guess it felt like romance, which we hadn’t had before.

  We crept together along the length of the room, my torch leading us through the thick darkness, and we opened the door into the exterior of the building, the moon providing enough light to see each other properly again.

  ‘Well’ said Ashley.

  ‘Well’ I aped.

  We looked at each other. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now. We’d had our fun and it was over. It was time to part, but I wanted to say something to her. I didn’t know what.

  Eventually Ashley smiled and kissed me on the cheek, a courtly, chaste peck. ‘I guess I’ll see you around’ she said. I nodded, and she turned and walked away, out to the car park. I wanted to go home but I didn’t want to walk the same way as Ashley. We’d said our goodbyes, I was supposed to go somewhere else now. So I headed back toward the main building, headed toward the basement bar.

  In the dark bar, the crowd had thinned somewhat. Janey was nowhere to be seen so I guess she was doing the same thing I’d just been up to. I didn’t expect her to come back.

  But Cameron was still there. She was with Victor and a couple of other producers. They were chatting animatedly while she simply listened. She saw me and I swear her eyes widened. But then she looked away and I thought I’d imagined it.

  I found myself drifting over, telling myself it had been a while since I’d seen Victor and that I wanted to catch up with him.

  ‘God, Allie!’ Victor said as I floated over. ‘It’s been ages. Where you been?’

  I would have liked to have told him that I had been shagging Ashley Douglas’s arse off on the sound stage but instead I said, ‘Here and there. What you been up to?’

  He began to tell me about some gameshow he was putting together for his term project and I really did try to listen, but I was having to concentrate so hard on not looking at Cameron that I probably only caught only every other word.

  But then Cameron spoke, and it was safe to look at her. ‘How was your meeting with Ashley’ she asked.

  ‘Oh. Fine’ I said, trying to be natural. Cameron nodded. ‘I hear she has meetings with a lot of people.’

  My face stayed frozen in position but inside, I was shocked. What on earth was Cameron trying to achieve with a comment like that? How would she know who Ashley met with, anyway? And why was she trying to rub it in my face?

  ‘I’m sure she does. Networking is part of the game’ Victor said evenly, apparently having completely missed the subtext, bless his innocent heart.

  I decided I’d had enough. It was time to go home. ‘I’d better head off, I’m cream-crackered’ I told the group.

  ‘Oh, alright, dude’ Victor said, giving me a hug. ‘Text me soon, let’s hang out.’

  I nodded enthusiastically at him, waved at everyone else, including Cameron and I turned and left.

  I put my key in the door and let myself in, checking my watch. It was just after nine, still early. I wandered toward the kitchen, peckish. I realised I’d completely forgotten to eat dinner. Maybe there was still some of that pizza left from the other…

  ‘Ahh!’ I screamed, as I walked into the kitchen to find Mike giving Zara the business over the kitchen table. They both jumped up and began to get themselves together. Mike was bright red. Zara looked more annoyed as she pulled her knickers back up and pulled her clothing back into place.

  ‘Jesus Christ, guys!’ I yelled at them.

  Mike, now zipped back up, turned and said, ‘This must be a shock. We’ve been meaning to tell you that we are… kind of… involved-’

  ‘I know you’ve been at it for weeks’ I told him angrily. ‘I couldn’t care less. But could you try to confine it to your bedrooms?!’

  Mike’s mouth hung open. ‘You knew?’

  I shook my head. ‘Of course I knew. It wouldn’t take Sherlock Holmes to crack that one, would it?’

  Mike looked at Zara. She looked surprised too. Had they really thought that I didn’t know? I’d imagined that there had been a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell agreement in place. That we all kind of knew what was going on but that it was simpler if it wasn’t mentioned. But these two thought they were maintaining secrecy. Unbelievable.

  ‘God, sorry’ Mike said. Zara shrugged. ‘OK, so it’s out now’ she said to Mike. ‘So that’s that.’

  ‘I was just trying to respect the housemate code’ he muttered to her. ‘There’s only three of us in the house and it didn’t seem very fair on Allie to be rubbing our thing in her face.’

  Zara rolled her eyes. ‘Nice phrasing. And she knew anyway so what difference would it have made if we’d just been honest?’

  ‘That’s not the point’ Mike said, irritably.

  God almighty, had I just walked in on them having sex and now I was going to have to endure a couple’s row? It was a high price to pay for coming home at the wrong moment.

  As I watched them spat with each other, I was struck by my own hypocrisy. I’d just taken chances with a potentially larger audience catching me in the act. It was truly karmic that now I’d walked right into the other end of the situation. But that was the kind of day I was having. One drama to another. Janey to Ashley to Cameron to these pair of horny lovebirds who might just kill each other before term was out.

  I slipped past them both as the row continued, reaching into the fridge for that slice of pizza. ‘Night’ I said to them. They didn’t even hear me, the row growing more heated.

  ‘I’m just saying, it’s not always about what you want’ Mike said. ‘There’s other people to consider, there’s manners, and, and-’

  ‘What kind of British stupidity is this you’re trying to tell me? That you’re supposed to creep around and pretend you don’t exist in case you offend someone?’

  I took my pizza to bed.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Hey, Shane, why don’t you try standing up while Greg stays in his chair?’ I told the actors performing the scene on the stage. ‘It might do something interesting with the power structure in the scene.’

  ‘Should I loom over him?’ Shane asked.

  ‘No, just stand and walk around the chair and lean on the back of it. It’ll be a subtle power shift, but I think it’ll make the moment a bit more charged’ I told Shane. He nodded, keen. ‘Greg, I want you to lean back, just barely. Like you don’t realise that you’re doing it.’

  ‘Cool, yeah’ Greg said. They ran the lines again and this time, I felt more pop in the scene.

  ‘Right, time’s up. Jonny’s due in so you’d better clear out’ Kim called from the back. Every day this week, each director got one hour with their actors on the stage. It was due to be performed on Friday night, in front of about two hundred people. I was shitting kittens at the thought of it. But I was trying to lock myself on to the here and now s
o that my nerves didn’t get the better of me.

  ‘Alright, Kim’ I replied and turned back to Shane and Greg. ‘Thanks guys, it’s coming along nicely.’ They looked happy as they got their stuff together and headed out of the theatre. I was following them out as Kim came down, meeting me midway. ‘Good work. You got a bit more life out of that than it had at the start of the day.’

  ‘Thank you’ I said quietly. I’d learned with Kim not to gush with thanks when she gave you praise. You just accepted it quietly, as though you didn’t care either way.

  ‘But don’t be afraid to push them for more. Sometimes actors need to be put in the condition you need them in to get what you want from them’ Kim added cryptically.