Copyright © 2010 Disney Enterprises, Inc.
All rights reserved. Published by Disney Press, an imprint of Disney Book Group. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For information address Disney Press, 114 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10011-5690.
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ISBN: 978-1-4231-4162-4
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Table of Contents
Part One
Part One Chapter 1
Part One Chapter 2
Part One Chapter 3
Part One Chapter 4
Part One Chapter 5
Part Two
Part Two Chapter 1
Part Two Chapter 2
Part Two Chapter 3
Part Two Chapter 4
Part Two Chapter 5
Big-top Bonanza Preview
Part One
Chapter 1
Candace sat in her pink bedroom, holding a banana to her ear, as she pretended to call her not-so-secret crush, Jeremy Johnson. “Hello,” she began. “Is this the Johnson residence? I’d like to speak to Jeremy Johnson.” She smiled. “This is Candace Flynn. Why am I calling, you ask?” She referred to her open notebook, which listed several “reasons for calling.” She chose one. “. . . Because I have a question about our algebra assignment. Thank you, I’ll hold.” She frantically flipped through her notebook. “Okay, okay. Let’s see . . . opening jokes, opening jokes . . . Hey-ah, Jeremy. This is Candace Flynn. So, what do you get when you cross a yak and a Martian?”
Just then, the bedroom door opened with a squeak. “Honey,” said a voice, “could I interrupt for just a sec?”
“Why, Jeremy Johnson,” Candace said in a teasing tone, “did you just call me honey?” Suddenly her eyes widened in surprise and she turned bright red. She realized that her mom was standing in her doorway!
“No, Candace,” her mother answered. “I just wanted to tell you I’m off to my book club. I left a phone number on the fridge in case of an emergency. And, Candace, honey?”
“Yes, Mom?” she asked.
“I hope you’re not planning on talking to that banana all afternoon,” her mom said with a smile as she headed out the door.
Outside in the backyard, Candace’s brother, Phineas, stood beneath a tree, wearing a sombrero on his head and holding a pointer in his hand. He addressed the “crowd,” which consisted only of Perry the Platypus, the family pet. “Ladies and platypuses, introducing the latest party craze to sweep the nation: The Amazing Mariachi Tree!” As spirited music began to play, Phineas pointed to the large tree, which had seven mariachi players sitting in its branches. His stepbrother, Ferb, who was playing the trumpet above them, leaned back and lost his balance, falling out of the tree! The other mariachi players followed, groaning in pain as they landed. As Ferb popped up from the ground, a sombrero fell right onto his head.
Phineas winced. “I think the lesson here is: Don’t drink too much chocolate milk before planning the day’s activity,” he concluded.
It was time for the band to go home. Phineas and Ferb waved goodbye to the musicians. “Bye, guys!” called Phineas. “Sorry. Good work there, though. There’s that smile, Arturo. Gracias.”
Just then, Phineas and Ferb’s friend Isabella came walking up to them. She was wearing a pink jumper with a matching bow in her hair. She had a really big crush on Phineas, but he had no idea. “Hi, Phineas,” she said sweetly.
“Oh, hi, Isabella,” Phineas replied.
Isabella smiled. “Whatcha do—” she began to say, then hiccupped loudly. Embarrassed, she put both her hands to her mouth.
“Are you okay?” Phineas asked, concerned.
“Yeah,” Isabella said. “I just came by to see whatcha do—” She hiccupped again. “—ing.”
“Wow,” commented Phineas. “That’s a bad case of the hiccups you got there.”
“I know,” Isabella said with a sigh. “They’re driving me crazy!” She hiccupped once more.
“Not to fear, Isabella,” Phineas told her.
“Ferb and I will help cure your hiccups!” Isabella hiccupped in response. Just then Phineas noticed something. “Hey, where’s Perry?” he asked.
Perry the Platypus was sneaking off to a row of garbage cans. He quickly pulled out his fedora and placed it on his head. It was time to transform himself, from his secret identity as a mere house pet into the amazing Agent P! He took the lid off one of the cans and hopped inside. Oops, wrong can. He hopped back out, removed a banana peel from his head, and hopped inside the next can. A hidden slide whisked him directly to the controls of Platypus Cave, his secret hideout. He landed in front of a huge video screen, as garbage poured down on him.
Just then, Major Monogram, Perry’s superior officer, appeared on the screen. The major gave Perry the information about his latest mission. “Good morning, Agent P,” he said. “Dr. Doofenshmirtz is on the move. We tracked him to these coordinates when we suddenly lost his signal.” At that moment, the major’s face was replaced by a map with a big, red X marking the spot.
The major continued. “We have two scenarios to explain his disappearance. First, magical elves caused Dr. Doofenshmirtz to vanish to the land of angry corn people. The second is that he may be on a secret hideout-shaped island with his initial, D, carved into it. Satellites found it in the . . . exact . . . spot . . . where . . . he . . . vanished.” The major suddenly realized how silly the first scenario sounded. “Uh . . . you know what? Uh, forget the magical elves thing. Way off base with that. Anyway, on your way, Agent P.”
Perry took off immediately, jumping into a white convertible. Flames shot out of the sides of the car as it blasted off into the air.
In the backyard, Phineas was still trying to help Isabella get rid of her hiccups. “Okay, Isabella,” he began, “the best way to cure hiccups is to scare them away.” He pointed at her. “So, what scares you?” he asked.
“Hmm,” began Isabella, putting her hand to her chin and thinking hard. She hiccupped. “Well, there was this haunted house at the state fair”—she hiccupped again—“that was pretty scary.”
Phineas’s eyes lit up. “That’s it!” he cried. “Ferb and I are going to make you the scariest haunted house ever! With zombies!” He made a snarling face. “And werewolves! And ghosts and vampires!” he exclaimed, pretending to cover his face with a cape. “And witches!”
Little did they know that Candace was standing right behind them. She cleared her throat.
Phineas turned around. “Oh, hey, Candace,” he said.
“Phineas!” Candace shouted, putting her hands on her hips. “The only way you’re building a haunted house in this backyard is over my dead body!”
“That’s the idea,” replied Phineas, trying to sound like Count Dracula.
Candace scowled. “That’s it, you little psycho! I’m calling Mom.” She ran off into the house and slammed the door behind her. Then she suddenly opened it again.
“And I am not using the banana this time!” she yelled. She slammed the door again.
Phineas looked at Ferb and Isabella in disbelief. “You guys heard that,
right? It wasn’t just me?” Ferb and Isabella just shrugged.
Inside the house, Candace was fuming. Build a haunted house, my foot, she thought angrily. She grabbed the number that her mother had left, picked up the phone, and began to dial. They’re so busted! she thought.
“Yes, hello,” said Candace in a super-proper voice when someone picked up the phone. “This is an emergency. I’d like to speak with Linda Flynn. To whom am I presently speaking?”
“Uh, Jeremy, that’s whom,” a male voice responded.
Candace’s eyes widened. She looked down at the paper in her hand. It read: BOOK CLUB JOHNSON’S 555-0105. Johnson’s? It couldn’t be!
“J-J-Jeremy?” she stammered. “J-J-Jer-Jeremy who?”
“Jeremy Johnson,” he replied. “My mom’s hosting a book club today. Who’s this?” he asked curiously.
Candace quickly held the paper close to the receiver and crumpled it up so it sounded like static. “We seem to be breaking up,” she said. Then she frantically tried to come up with other excuses. “I-I’m going into a tunnel . . .” she fibbed. “Sunspots . . .” she added. “I . . . No hablo español!” Mortified, she hung up the phone and put her hands to her mouth. Could her day get any worse?
Chapter 2
High over Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s secret island, Perry parachuted from an airplane. As he plummeted through the air, two wings that looked a lot like platypus tails opened up. He flapped them and guided himself to the roof of the island. He took off his helmet, adjusted his fedora, then opened the roof hatch and lowered himself down on a rope. Inside, he found a circular room with windows all around it. He pressed himself against a wooden crate, his arms outstretched, thinking he was safe. Just then, metal cuffs slid down over his wrists, around his feet and even on his tail! He was trapped!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz smirked. “Perry the Platypus? Here? How could this be? I’m shocked,” he said, pretending to be surprised. He used a pointer to indicate a series of posters with pictures of every move Perry had made. “I mean, it would have taken a total evil mastermind to have guessed that you’d track me to this point, find the secret hideout, glide in under the radar, infiltrate this access vent, and make your way over to this crate, activating my automatic arm and leg restraints. . . .”
He pointed to another poster. “Oh, right here, this is the part where I get all sarcastic and pretend you surprised me.” He put his hand to his mouth in pretend shock. “Oh, Perry the Platypus! How? What the—? Who the—? Why the—? Ohh! Finally ending here when I finish showing you my brilliant plan.”
He smiled and continued. “You see, Perry the Platypus, this secret hideout doesn’t actually belong to me. It belonged to my mentor, Professor Destructicon!” He bent the pointer, and it sprang out of his hands, breaking something with a loud crash. “Sadly, he was just captured in the midst of his latest plan: to set fire to the sun!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed loudly. “Redundant, perhaps, but before they locked him away, Kevin asked a favor of me. To prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all its secrets, would I please set fire to the sun? And I was, like, ‘Dude, you really got to let that one go. It’s—it’s a ball of fire. It makes no sense!’”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked back over to Perry. “So he asked me to simply destroy his hideout instead, which I will now do using my new Disintevaporator!” With a flourish, he swept away a sheet to reveal a small purple box with controls on it. He cleared his throat. “And you, Perry the Platypus, will now be disintevaporated along with it!” He cackled with glee. Finally, one of his evil plans was actually going to work!
Meanwhile, Candace was trying to psych herself up to call Jeremy back. She picked up the phone. “Okay, just breathe and relax,” she said to herself. She exhaled. “Let’s try this again. Hi! Uh, Linda Flynn, please. But, if she’s too busy, uh, then maybe there’s someone else who can deliver a message to her? Maybe someone in their teens?” she added.
“Uh, who is this?” a little girl’s voice answered.
“This is Candace, Candace Flynn,” she said nervously. “And who is this?”
“I’m Suzy, Jeremy’s little sister,” the girl replied.
“Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you on the—” Candace started to say.
“You called for Jeremy, didn’t you?” Suzy interrupted.
Candace’s eyes flew open. “Jeremy? Um, no, no, no, no, no!” she stammered.
Even though Suzy was young, she was used to girls calling for her older brother. She knew all of their tricks. “You say you want your mom, but you really want Jeremy. Isn’t that right?”
Candace gulped. “That’s not true!”
“I’m sorry,” Suzy said. She crumpled up a piece of paper into the receiver. “We seem to be breaking up.”
“Stop crinkling paper!” Candace cried. “I know that trick!”
“Bye-bye,” Suzy said.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Candace exclaimed. She took a deep breath. “It’s true,” she confessed. “I want to speak to Jeremy.”
“I thought so,” Suzy said. “Jeremy, some girl’s on the phone for you!” she called out sweetly. Then her voice became very serious. “But never, ever forget,” she told Candace, “I am and always will be Jeremy’s favorite girl. Got it?”
“Mm-mm,” Candace replied nervously, nodding her head. “Yes.”
Jeremy picked up the phone. “I got it, my favorite girl,” he said to Suzy. “Jeremy here,” he said into the receiver.
Candace gasped. “Jeremy!”
“Candace?” Jeremy asked.
“Uh . . . yeah, yeah, it’s me,” replied Candace. She laughed nervously.
“Hey, you know, your mom’s over here for the book club,” said Jeremy.
“Oh, yeah, well, I just have this silly question to ask her,” Candace fibbed.
“Well, they’re breaking for coffee,” Jeremy told her. Then he had an idea. “Want to come over? We can hang out.”
Candace put her hand over the receiver and screamed loudly.
Phineas and Ferb were outside signing for a delivery when they heard the piercing scream. “That was great, Ferb,” Phineas said. “But you should really save those screams for later, when the house is up and running.” Ferb looked at Phineas blankly.
Candace was still in shock over the fact that Jeremy Johnson had just invited her over to his house! She tried to remain calm. “I mean, sure!” Candace told Jeremy, once she had recovered.
“Cool,” he replied. “See you in about twenty minutes?”
But Jeremy didn’t get a response. Candace had fainted on the kitchen floor!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz stood, along with several boxes of his belongings, next to a large purple jet. “Now, I’ll just load up a few things that Professor Destructicon let me store here,” he said. “If there’s one thing Kevin understands, it’s closet space.” He smiled. “Now, I’ll just, uh, grab my keys to the escape jet and, uh . . .” He stopped in midsentence and frantically patted his pockets. “Hmm . . . I could’ve sworn I put them in my lab coat.” He thought for a moment. “Oh, they’re probably over here on the computer console.” He walked over to look, but his keys weren’t there, either. “No.”
Perry looked down, and lo and behold, the keys were on a cute little doggy key chain, right near one of his webbed feet! Slowly and quietly, he stepped on the keys and slid them out of sight.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked by. “Ah! The kitchen!” he cried. “Hello? Keys?” But they weren’t there. He leaned in close to Perry. “This is a little bit awkward,” he admitted, “but have you seen my escape-jet keys?”
Perry nodded.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz was pleasantly surprised to hear this piece of news. “What, you have?” he said delightedly. “Well, that’s great. Where are they?”
Perry closed his eyes and turned his head. There was no way he was letting the evil doctor know that he was hiding his keys!
“You won’t tell me?” cried Dr. Doofenshmirtz, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Is
that because you don’t speak, or are you just being a jerk?”
Twenty minutes was not a lot of time to come up with the perfect outfit. But Candace had to get to Jeremy’s house soon! The floor of her room was littered with clothes—pants, shirts, skirts, dresses, shoes, and boots—pretty much the entire contents of her closet.
“I can’t believe it!” she squealed. “I’m finally going to Jeremy’s house!” She paused and took a deep breath. “Okay, now, what would the perfect look be?” She stood up, holding a T-shirt in front of her. Her back was to the window, so she didn’t see Phineas cheerfully walking by with a guillotine, or Ferb passing by pushing a stretcher with a fake dead body on it.
Suddenly Candace had an idea. “I know!” she exclaimed. “Girl-next-door-meets-pop-diva-meets-Hollywood–bad girl, crossed with an old-school glamour goddess!”
This time, she missed her brothers carrying a suit of armor and a Frankenstein head in a jar. “Now,” she said, “I’ve just got to find the finishing touch.” She bent down to rummage through the giant pile of clothing.
Voila! She was finally done. She ran into the backyard dressed in a cropped T-shirt, jeans, and boots, with a scarf casually tossed around her neck. Even her bicycle helmet matched her outfit.
“Hey, boys!” she called. “I’m off to the Johnsons’ book club.” She couldn’t resist adding, “Jeremy invited me over.” She smiled proudly.
Candace was so distracted that she didn’t notice Ferb sharpening an ax or Phineas holding the jar with the Frankenstein head in it.
“Um, when you see Mom, could you tell her some snakes got lost in the house?” Phineas asked.
“Okay,” she said with a big grin. She hadn’t paid any attention to what her brother had just said. “You boys have fun! See ya!”
Thrill-o-rama! Page 1
