SURGE (Kenshaw Ranch #2)
Page 16
I turn on the water and the minute the warm steam hits my lungs, I start to cough more. It burns, and the sudden burst of tears aren't helping, but in this small space I can finally let go of everything I've been holding in. Today was horrific. Absolutely horrific. The more the house fell apart, the more the memories I had in that place raced through my mind.
I sat in the back of an ambulance, watching the firemen break down the walls, walls I scribbled on as a toddler. Walls that had marks from all three of us kids growing in height. Walls that held pictures of my parents. Walls Bo kissed me against. My life was inside those walls, and now they're gone.
As the soot and dirt rinses off my body, I watch the parts of my life I'll never get back wash down the drain, and let out a sigh. I can't stand around and cry all goddamned day. I have two kids that need me and two jobs that aren't going to pay me if I don't show up. Moving in with Bo seems too good to be true. I'm not used to leaning on people, and I'm not used to asking for handouts. But I'm also not sure this is even considered a handout. I mean, just last night he suggested the crazy idea. That was pre-fire. Maybe he really does want it.
Padding out to his dresser, wrapped in a towel, I eye the bed and just want to lie down and sleep for days. I can't though. My little brother, the shit that he is, needs to know I don't hate him. I find a t-shirt and toss on a pair of boxers then head down the hall to the room Will's staying in.
"Knock, knock," I whisper, pushing the door open. He's on the bed, staring at the ceiling, hands behind his head. "Can I come in?"
Without a verbal response, he sits up and looks at me. I want to yell at him for being a dumbass. I want to punch him for what he did. But what's all that going to help?
I walk over to the bed and sit next to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "No more burning shit, okay?" I whisper, rubbing his back. As mad as I am about this whole situation, he's only a sixteen-year-old boy. "You gotta promise me, Will. What happened today...it's bad. It's really bad."
"I'm sorry, Kinlee." His voice cracks and he lays his head onto my shoulder while his arms go around me. I feel his chest start to bounce before I hear he's crying.
"God, Will." I wrap both arms around him and let him cry. His genuine remorse helps comfort me. If he weren't sorry for what happened, I'd be scared. "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." I huff and pull back a bit. What Bo told me earlier keeps buzzing in my head. "You know, Bo mentioned maybe moving in here. With him..." I trail off, testing the waters. I'd love nothing more than to be with Bo all the time, but if the kids are against it, I'm not sure I can do that to them.
"Bo don't want me here." He's batting at his cheeks, trying to hide evidence of his breakdown. "He's so pissed at me." The look across his face is heartbreaking.
"I'm sure that's not true. He wouldn't have asked us to move in if he didn't want you two here. He loves you guys."
Wiping at his face still, he lays down. "I ruined our lives. Everything we had of mom and dad is gone."
"It's not though." I lay next to him, staring at the ceiling. "I grabbed some old photo books. Some framed pictures. And I have a ton of pictures online of them." I'm trying not to think about my mom's wedding dress that's ashes right now, or the wooden rocking chairs my dad handmade each of us as kids. "We still have each other. That matters more than any material things."
"Wendy hates me. Her computer's gone, her phone. All her...girl stuff." He shrugs and rubs his face. "I'm sorry, Kinlee," he says again before breaking down into sobs.
"She'll be fine. Everything we lost is replaceable. Once she realizes she's getting a new laptop and a new phone, she'll get over it, Will." I sit up and force a smile. "Come on. Up. You need food." Pulling him up, I wrap my arms around him. "I love you, Will."
"I do too." He sniffles and hugs me tightly before letting go to wipe at his face.
Headed out the door, I glance back, happy he decided to follow. At the fridge I grab the makings for the best peanut butter and jelly ever.
"Will, go get Wendy. Dinner's almost ready." I try to laugh at the bread slices with juvenile toppings spread on them, but I can't find it. Will hops up and heads to the living room. When Bo's hands wrap around me, I startle, then relax back into him. "Where've you been?"
"Script." He wiggles the pill bottle and sets it on the counter. "And ice cream." He sets a bag on the counter in front of me and takes a deep breath of my hair, quietly chuckling. "I love that you smell like me right now, but we'll replace all your girly things tomorrow." He kisses my cheek.
"I like your clothes though. They're comfy." I spin and put on a smile for him. "How's your back doing?"
"Sore," he admits, grinning as he grabs the bowls. "Ice cream and sandwiches for dinner. I already like having you three livin' here."
I smile and sigh. "It won't be like this every night, you know. If we live here, meals like this wouldn't be the norm." My smile's real, and probably only because spending time with him actually relaxes me. I love this man, I think more than I've ever loved myself. That's what scares me the most.
"Well it's a good thing you'll be here then, 'cause if I'm not eatin' at the Kenshaw's, I'm eatin' toast or whatever condiments I don't have to cook." He winks at me before walking into the living room to get the kids.
This isn't the time, but I stare at his ass the entire way. He's too good to be true, and I still have a hard time accepting this is the same boy from five years ago. We eat our very unhealthy feast and try to pretend nothing abnormal happened today. It's like an elephant in the room that no one's talking about. I know they're worrying about everything, but Bo's doing great keeping conversation up and keeping their minds off it.
"Wendy, there's clothes in the spare room you're in. Jo sent some things over earlier," I tell her after we finish up. "See what'll work for school. We'll go shopping after school tomorrow..." I trail off and glance at Bo. "Tomorrow's dinner with your parents?" My eyes go wide. "I have nothing to wear. I have to work tomorrow. I don't have time to go clothes shopping." I start to panic.
Bo grabs my hand and smiles at the kids. "New toothbrushes and toothpaste in the bag." He points at the bag on the counter. "Go brush 'em and get ready for bed. It's almost ten thirty." Waiting until the kids decide who gets which toothbrush then head out of the dining room, he turns to me. "Kinlee, we ain't going to my parent's, baby. And I'll take Wendy and Will shopping after school if you're goin' to the diner. But I ain't pickin' your clothes. You'd likely kill me when I came back with camo everything." He smiles and kisses me. "You're gonna have to take another day off. And if it ain't tomorrow, it'll have to be Tuesday because you're out of clothes." When I open my mouth he pushes his finger to my lips. "And you're gonna have to accept I'm gonna take care of you, so all this workin' fifty plus hours a week shit? It can stop now." He kisses me and heads to the refrigerator while my eyebrows sit high on my forehead.
I watch him take a swig from the milk carton and chuckle. Getting out of my chair, I grab it from his hands. "You think you'll be able to put up with us here?" I smirk then take a swig and his grin widens.
"God." He yanks me against him and starts attacking my neck. "You'll fit in just fine here."
I giggle. "Not out here, Bo," I laugh, wiggling against his attack. When I break free, I step back and grab his hand, turning to head up the stairs to his bedroom. When we make it, I stop in the middle of his room and smirk. "You may proceed." He takes me to the bed, sucking and kissing anywhere he can, poking at my sides while I laugh hysterically and fight to moan from his mouth. "I need you, Bo," I whisper, straddling him after wrestling out from under his tickling fingers.
His jaw tightens and eyes lock on mine. Without words, he pulls the shirt over my head and sits up, cupping my breasts and attaching his lips to my nipple. I grip the hem of his shirt and slowly pull it off, then press my lips to his. Our bodies move together as we finish stripping each other's layers off and when I sink over him, my hand pressed firmly on his stomach, my eyes flutter closed at h
ow thick he feels.
"God, Bo," I whisper and start pivoting my hips.
He groans, his hand going to my thigh and his eyes raking down my body. "Baby, that's so fucking hot." The thumb on his good hand moves to my clit, pressing firm circles as I rock over him, pushing him deeper and deeper.
I bend down and push my lips to his, his arms wrapping around me, trapping me to him. I moan loud when he thrusts hard, hitting deeper than before. His thrusts don't let up, his dick hits that perfect rhythm and my clit is getting the friction it needs between our bodies. Being this close to him, feeling him in this way, is better than any quick fuck. His eyes lock on mine as I rock back then slide him in again. The quiet moans that leave his throat are deep and gruff. Who would have thought a cowboy's sex noises would be this…sexy? As I rock my hips against him I feel my orgasm start to build and he keeps making these sexy fucking noises. Making my cowboy succumb to me is probably the sexiest thing ever.
"Oh my god," I gasp. "Oh god, Bo. Holy shit." I tuck my head in the crook of his neck as he pumps up into me.
My legs start to quiver and his lips kiss over my chest. He grunts and comes with me, fighting to maintain the rhythm while he spills inside of me. His mouth latches onto my neck to muffle his moans and I slap my hand over my mouth because I almost called out for him. We don't get up to clean ourselves. We don't bother leaving the bed the rest of the night.
I know my world was turned upside down today. Again. But Bo being there for us, and being here now, makes me have hope for our future. It's so much different than the tragedy that struck before. Before, I just tried to make it one day to the next. Now, with Bo here, I'm planning for our future.
Tuesday morning I wake up and roll over in bed. Yesterday, working all day, was absolute hell and it didn't take much persuasion from Bo to talk me into taking today off. It was also easier than I thought. The school had already heard of the fire when I walked in yesterday morning, and the diner called and told me to take the week off, telling me the other three girls working there are donating their tips to me. Small towns suck in some ways, but when something like this happens you really know you're cared about.
Waking up in bed next to Bo has been amazing these last two days. I think we're officially living here, and I'm trying to be excited about it because it's exciting, but there's so much to do that it's hard to focus on the happy yet. Today is clothes shopping day and tomorrow I have to go to the house to see if anything is salvageable before the demolition crew comes in to take away the rubble. It's not going to be fun, but it has to be done.
Bo's so warm, I almost hate to wake him. Almost. He's also sleeping completely naked, so I have other plans for his morning. Our limbs are tangled together and I start to wake him, drawing small circles on his chest.
"Bo," I whisper, pushing kisses to his jaw.
He grumbles and pulls me closer, locking me against him but doesn't open his eyes.
"Time to wake up, sleepy head," I whisper, pushing my body against his. "We gotta get the kids to school so you can take me shopping in the city today." I grind against him and he groans again. "I'll need new shorts. New jeans." I press my lips to his chest. "New bras, underwear," I whisper, feeling his erection pressing against me.
"Can I pick those?" he mumbles, eyes still closed.
"Apparently, since you're buying everything," I say, giggling and grinding against him harder. "You feel like waking up yet, cowboy?"
He flips me to my back abruptly and hooks my leg over his arm then dips his hips. "Someone does." His cock rubs against me while he kisses over my chest and down to my breasts that are covered by the t-shirt I stole from him. His hands slide up the shirt and his mouth sucks my nipple making me moan and slide my fingers into his hair. His mouth starts to travel down my stomach, shimmying me out of my shorts as he goes. "Those kids are probably still sleeping, but don't be loud," he says before latching his lips around my clit with no warning.
I gasp, my hand slapping over my mouth as he licks long strokes. "Shit, Bo," I whisper, grinding up to him, needing more.
He sucks gently on my clit again and when I let out a moan his low chuckle sends vibrations straight through my core. His tongue slowly rolls over me before he sucks, and he does it over and over, chuckling every time. I have to untwist my fingers from the sheet to cover my mouth. He slides a finger inside me, then pulls it out and trails it up my body, circling my nipple. As he grabs my nipple his mouth latches onto my clit and I start to vibrate. His tongue flicks my clit, faster and harder, and soon I'm biting down on my shirt so I don't scream as I come, my legs shaking hard around Bo's head and my breaths coming in short spurts.
"Oh god," I whimper, the sensation from the orgasm flowing through me and I glance down to Bo's tongue still playing lazy circles around my clit. "Stop!" I laugh, sitting up and pushing my lips to his. "I taste good."
"I never want to stop." He grins against my mouth and pushes me to lie back, sliding inside me at the same time and groaning quietly. "Except to be inside you."
His hips slowly pump until he pulls out to the tip then thrusts hard, making the bed squeak. He does it a few more times, slowly pulling out and slamming inside me until my nails dig into his back, ready for another dizzying orgasm. He stops the tease and starts to pump, hard and fast, kissing me deep. The faster he pumps, the harder my body trembles. From the way his movements are becoming more rigid, I know his orgasm is coming. I push my lips to his, our tongues twisting together and my arms tightening around him. As he moans into my mouth, thrusting harder now, my orgasm explodes again and I can't help but cry out. He curses, pushing into me one more time then groans, shoving his face into the crook of my neck as he comes so hard I can feel his release pumping into me. I don't want to let go. I don't want to separate this connection. I keep my legs wrapped around him and my arms hold on tight as we lay here and catch our breath.
"I could wake up like that every morning," I whisper, panting.
"There's probably nothing left, Bo," I mumble as we drive to the site of my old house.
I don't want to do this, but it's an important part of healing from a house fire, or so I'm told.
"If you don't want to go, we won’t." He takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "But I think you'll feel better if you do."
"Yeah," I whisper, glancing out the window. "I'm gonna miss this drive. I always liked living here, as dinky and dilapidated as it was."
"You had a lot of good memories here with your family." He kisses my hand. "We'll make news ones with the twins and you'll always hold the memories of your parents in your heart." He tries to smile at me but I'm sure the look on my face isn't welcoming right now.
I'm trying, but it's hard when the possessions you cherished in life are gone just like that.
"We will." I take a deep breath as he turns into the driveway. When my eyes hit the pile of rubble, I hold my breath, attempting to not tear up. That's my goal today. Get through this with no tears. I'm sure Bo's getting real tired of the damn tears this week. "Crazy how that much house can look like trash, huh?" I whisper, staring where the front door once stood as Bo parks the truck.
"It ain't trash. It's a tragedy." He exhales heavily while looking over the rubble then opens his door, coming around to mine. He holds his hand out so I take it, needing to touch him right now.
"Thanks for comin' with me today, Bo. I know there're probably lots of other things you'd rather be doing than sorting through dirty rubble." We walk up to the house and I kick a burned board.
"Kinlee, there's nothin' I'd rather be doin' than staying by your side." He wiggles my hand. "I love you."
"I love you, Bo." I mutter, staring at the loss. "Let's get started, I guess." I grab the gloves from my back pocket that Bo forced me to bring and slide them on.
Slowly we work through the pile, in and out of rooms that are now hollow, semi shells and a few rooms that aren't standing at all. The majority of the walls fell in the fire; there are only a few lone standing boar
ds. I step carefully over a pile, glancing back at where the fireplace used to stand, trying to picture our last family Christmas together. I know I'll be making all kinds of new memories at Bo's house, but the heartache that I'll never be able to show my future children my childhood home hurts too much to handle.
I step into what used to be the kitchen and glance around, letting out a puff of air. I hear Bo rustling around, but I'm sure he's not found anything worthwhile. The only thing so far has been one metal picture frame with a picture of my grandma in it, only slightly charred. Nothing else has been worth saving.
I look around the kitchen, and when my eyes hit the piece of doorframe my mom used to measure all our heights on, I let out a sob.
"Bo!" I yell, stepping over a few downed beams to get to it. "It's still here!" I press my fingers to the dark wood. It's definitely not in perfect condition, but I can still see my mom's handwriting on it and all the marks up until the time I left for college.
"Step back, baby," he says, gently pushing me away before he grabs it with both hands then kicks the bottom, breaking it free from the floor.
It's burned and crumbling in parts but I can save it. He uses the bottom of his shirt to wipe away the soot and smiles at me, walking it over so we can look at it.
"How the hell did this not burn?" I whisper, letting my fingers trace over where my mom pressed the pen into the wood. I realize I'm tearing up and roll my eyes, wiping it away hoping he didn't see it. "Can we keep it?"
"I'll carve it down and clean it up. After I treat it we'll fasten it to our kitchen wall." He smiles, kissing my head.
"Thank you," I say, smiling. "I think we're done here. There's nothing left of this place." I step where the back porch used to be and glance at my car, that isn't totaled but there's definite damage. Walking over, I pull open the door and jump back, coughing. "God, it smells like it was in flames."