Wild Irish_Wilder Mind

by Taryn Quinn

  Maybe if I angled my knees toward the window?

  “All right over there?”

  “What?” I stabbed at my salad again. I really couldn’t look at him right now. Or get that groan out of my head. It was far too similar to the one I’d heard when he’d stuck his tongue in my mouth.

  Way too similar.

  And God, would I ever forget it? Friends. I wanted to mend the bridge to the friend zone again. Not anything else.

  I was almost sure.

  “Fine.”

  His smile widened. “You’re blushing.”

  “Suck it, Myles.”

  “On our first date? Why, Miss Hudson, what kind of man do you think I am?”

  My fork stopped an inch from my face. “Date?”

  “Yes. I’m back in town to court you.”

  4

  Myles

  I’d surprised her.

  Good. I needed to shake things up. It was the first step in my plan to make her realize we were good together. And that I was home to stay.

  I’d run like a damn fool. My career and my need to get out of this town had superseded any sense I’d had. Instead, I’d hurt the person I loved the most in this whole damn world. I’d hit the bottle hard on more than a few nights with memories of her shattered eyes following me into dreams.

  Because I was an asshole. A selfish prick who didn’t know what I had. It had taken way too long to figure it out, and I was going to have to play dirty to fix it. Speaking with the realtor tomorrow would clinch that deal. Then she’d see I was completely serious.

  For now, that particular bombshell would be enough to keep her guessing.

  Her watch beeped and she finally blinked. “I have to get back.”

  “You didn’t eat your salad.”

  Her gaze shifted to her plate and then back up to me. “Right.”

  I stood up and went over to the girl at the counter. “Hey, can we get a to-go container for her salad? And two more of those cake pop things for me.” She rang me up with a smile and I brought over two bags. One containing my chocolatey goodness, and one for Fee.

  She sat back in her chair. “What’s going on, Myles?”

  “I told you. I’m back to—”

  She held up her hand. “Yeah, got that part. Please don’t say it again.”

  “Why?” I lowered my face to line up with hers. “Afraid?” I dropped my gaze to focus on her full lower lip. It was scrunched to the side. She was biting the inside of her cheek again. She did it all the time when she was trying to choose her words wisely.

  I cupped her face and brushed my thumb over her lower lip. “Just spit it out, Fee. I’m good with whatever you have to say.”

  She frowned and backed away from me. “I don’t understand what game you’re playing, but I don’t like it. Not to mention you’re supposed to be in some Midwestern state right now. What the hell is going on?”

  I straightened. Illinois, to be exact. “I’m here.”

  “You’re not supposed to be.”

  “So you keep saying.” I didn’t want to tip my hand yet. Tomorrow would be soon enough when I showed her the house I was buying for me—for us. Someday. I knew that was my endgame, but it seemed as if it was going to take some convincing for her to get with my current program.

  I had enough money to retire for the rest of my life. I could find something else to do to fill my days. Or hell, I could be a stay-at-home dad and let her do whatever the hell she wanted.

  That idea had way more merit.

  Getting her to come around to my way of thinking was going to take time, but I was a patient man. I’d been figuring all this out for the last year. I hadn’t really had a true focus until I’d seen her kissing that Ken doll.

  It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had other boyfriends over the years, but I’d never actually witnessed her touching another guy. I hated it. Stalk-across-the-room-and-rip-his-head-off hated it.

  It was the last thing I’d needed to make my decision. Add in the road and all of the endless days waiting to get onstage. Two hours to enjoy playing—and even then, only half the time.

  The band and I had started growing apart before we’d even left for our first tour. And one tour turned into another as we became part of the machine. Addicted to the money and the high of the stage, I’d let myself drift. Until even the stage wasn’t doing it for me any longer.

  That’s when I’d known it was time to get out.

  Get the hell back to her.

  All the dreams I’d had meant jack shit without Felicity in my life. I knew that now. And now I was back to correct it.

  “Let’s get you back to the bar. Evidently, your little buzzer said time’s up.” I shook my head. “Since when do you even wear a watch?”

  “A lot of things have changed.” She licked her lips and straightened her shoulders. Unfortunately, that did amazing things for her breasts. Keeping my eyes on her face was nearly impossible. Nearly. “Right, anyway. I do need to get back. Not that he can do much if I don’t, but I wouldn’t leave them in the lurch. I love Tristan and his family way too much.”

  I stood and unhooked her jacket from the back of her chair and held it up for her.

  She stared at me. I knew she wanted to take it and do it herself, but she blew out an annoyed breath and turned around.

  I slid the canvas jacket up her arms and over her shoulders. When I dragged her braid out of her collar, her familiar scent made me shut my damn eyes. It was either that or lean down and take a sniff. The silky tail at the end of her braid curled around my finger before I let it fall to her shoulder. “We’ll get you back.” My voice was deep and raspy, but I was only human.

  Even worse, I was a human who had gone without for months. Losing myself in nameless women got old quickly. Especially when none of them could compare with Fee. It was useless to try at this point.

  Sap? Maybe.

  Happy to know exactly where I belonged? Absolutely. And that only strengthened my resolve.

  I took her bag from the table and led her to the door. “Why are you leaving the bar if you love them so much?”

  “I have my own business.”

  Intrigued, I opened the door for her and we fell into step on the street as we always did. It was rare for a woman to match me in stride. To actually match me in so many ways she felt like she was put on this earth just for me. “That’s amazing. Do you have your own office or something?”

  She shook her head. “I do accounting and payroll for a dozen or so businesses. I can work from wherever I want now.”

  My gait slowed. “Oh?”

  Anywhere? Where was this plan before? Fee had been adamant about staying in Baltimore. All the discussion we’d had over the years always put us squarely on opposite sides of the table. Me, looking for the open road, her for stability.

  “Yes. I had to figure out a way to make my degree work for me. Being trapped in an office did not work.”

  I stopped on the street. “Since when?”

  She swung around to face me. “A lot of things have changed since you left, Myles.” She narrowed her gaze. “Then again you may have known a little bit about me if you’d cared enough to get in contact.”

  “Oh, I did.”

  “One phone call wasn’t enough. Not after the way you left things.” She headed for the pub once more and I huffed out a breath before jogging after her.

  If she only knew how that night haunted me, but there’d been no room for the confusing and twisty feelings I had for her. I’d worked hard to get the hell out of this town. To prove to myself and everyone else that I wasn’t some going nowhere kid with a useless college degree.

  A BFA in creative writing wasn’t going to do much for me. Officially, I could write a song? Or a story? Please. I’d gone to college solely to make my mother happy. The only place I’d wanted to be was behind my keyboard.

  At least until I walked away from Felicity.

  “I know.” It had killed me to stay away from her. I thought it was w
hat she needed. For a time, it had been exactly what I needed. Not to be reminded. Not to stare at exactly who and what I’d always wanted and hear myself push her away.

  She stilled with her hand on the door. She didn’t turn and look at me, but at least she was listening. I hoped.

  I caught her arm at the elbow. “I’m sorry, Fee. It took me a little time to figure shit out, but I’m here now.”

  She swung the door open, still not looking at me. “I still don’t know why.”

  “I’ll explain all of it tomorrow. I have something to show you. Can I pick you up at ten tomorrow?” I slid my hand down to her hip, then around her waist to draw her back around to face me. I could see that she wasn’t on board. I needed her to give me this shot. More than I even knew when I’d landed at the airport last night. “Don’t say no.”

  She placed her hand on my chest. Her fingers twisted into the chains I wore habitually, even offstage. They were as much a part of me as my hair and eyes. She fingered the eighth note she’d given me for my birthday before my band had been even a thought.

  She’d believed in me from the very beginning.

  I closed my hand over hers, cupping the charm between us. “Can’t you give me another chance?”

  “You’re ruining everything,” she whispered.

  “I’m not ruining anything. Don’t you see? I’m back to fix it. I promise.” I clutched her hand tighter, cutting her off from whatever she was going to say. Hesitation dimmed her dark eyes. I rushed on. “Tomorrow. That’s all I ask.”

  She blew out a breath. “Fine. Tomorrow. But I’m not at my old apartment anymore.”

  “Hey, Felicity. I’m glad I caught you before you left.”

  We both stiffened at the voice over our shoulder.

  “Ailis. Um, hi. Yeah, I’m on for a few more hours.”

  I nodded at the pretty redhead. “Hi.”

  Ailis glanced between us, trying valiantly to hide a smile. “Take your time.”

  “It’s not like that,” Felicity quickly explained.

  “It is like that,” I said with a grin. “Exactly like that.”

  “Right.” She slipped by us to get inside the bar. “See you inside, Felicity.”

  Felicity slammed her fist into my gut. “Go.”

  I staggered back a step and laughed. I smoothed my hand over my flyaway curls. “Where am I picking you up?”

  “I’m at my mom’s house—well, now my sister’s. Long story there.”

  We’d spent many an evening on the tiny back porch when we didn’t want to end the night. “I think I remember where that is.”

  “Shut up.” She sailed through the door. “I expect all my questions answered tomorrow.”

  I didn’t bother to reply. She’d already left me in the doorway to the pub. A stream of people made the decision to follow her inside a moot one. Just as well, I had a million things to do before tomorrow.

  Just one day to make her realize just how good we were together.

  Piece of cake.

  Mostly.

  5

  Felicity

  I rushed back into the bar and expected to see dozens of tables full of people. But the room was more than half empty.

  Tristan and Ailis rushed around the bar. “There she is,” they said together.

  “You just saw me out front.” I slowed to a stop in the middle of the room.

  “You should have taken way longer. Especially the way he was trying to devour you with his eyes.”

  Tristan crossed his arms. “He’s been staring at her like she’s a steak all night.”

  “Okay, stop.” I stripped out of my jacket and tried to go behind the bar, but Tristan ran after me and took my coat. “What is wrong with you guys?”

  Teagan and Sky came out from the back. I shrieked and rushed over to them.

  “We were trying to surprise you.” Tristan sighed. “You don’t make it easy.”

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait.” Teagan met me in a tight hug. “I didn’t think we’d get home in time to see you before you left.”

  She tried to pull back, but I hugged her tighter. “Just another second.”

  Teagan rubbed my back. “Oh, honey. We’ll always be here. We’re so proud of you for making a plan to get out of here finally.”

  I sniffed against her shoulder, my eyes suddenly overflowing. “I’m going to miss you guys so much.”

  “Hell, I’m going to miss you even more,” Tristan said from behind me.

  I laughed and finally let Teagan go. “You’re going to miss my accounting.”

  “That too.” He hauled me forward and slung his arm around my neck. “But did you honestly think we would let you go off on a grand adventure without a going-away party?”

  “I told you not to make a fuss.”

  “You’re worth the fuss. Now, we should go see what Pops cooked for you.”

  “Pops?” My eyes misted again as I noticed the table set up with my favorites from the kitchen. I followed my nose to the huge vat of chili and baskets of sourdough bread waiting to sop up all that terribly unhealthy, glorious chili.

  I couldn’t wait.

  And as much as I hated a fuss made for me in any way, I couldn’t resist the lure of the extended family who had created a home for me here. With my mom having relocated to Boca—sweet God, why?—these people had become my everything.

  Even beyond Myles, they had been my rock, my heart, and my sounding board. Going out on my own was going to be so damn scary. Knowing I could come home whenever I wanted made it a little easier.

  The next few hours were a whirlwind. Nearly all of the Collins clan filtered in as the night wore on. By the time the last of the beer and shots had been poured into me, Tristan had to drive me home. Saying goodbye was far harder than I thought it would be, but that only meant I’d have to come home more often. These people were more my family than the one I was actually related to.

  A fact that pissed me off as I staggered up the steps and tried unsuccessfully to keep quiet as I snuck into my very dark, very silent house.

  I was doing so well…until I stepped on the cat.

  The yowl followed by nails of outrage had me yelping out, even as I attempted to cuddle Boo close. “I’m sorry. Oh man, did I hurt you?”

  Needle-like nails dug through the two layers I was wearing as he arched and hissed before jumping down.

  “What in the fuck is going on?”

  I winced at the sudden light and threw my arm over my eyes. “Robin. Come on!”

  “Are you serious right now?” She came closer to me, her hair up in its usual braids for sleeping. She peered closer. “Are you drunk?”

  I blew raspberries. Pretty mean feat, since I couldn’t feel my lips. “Of course not.”

  “God, you so are.” She gathered the affronted Boo off the arm of the chair and cuddled him close. I tried to reach out to stroke his gray fur, but my sister turned away with him in her arms. “If you puke, you’re cleaning it up.”

  “I’m not going to puke.” I thought. Pretty sure.

  “First you tell me you’re quitting a very fine job—actually, scratch that, two jobs— to go cross country to find yourself, and now you’re drunk? I don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

  I winced. “I have my own business now, Ro.”

  “You have no benefits, and you work with a dozen businesses that could close any day now. That’s not a viable business model.” She shook her head before disappearing into the kitchen and turning on the tap. She came back into the room with a large glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. “Drink and take.”

  Before I could thank her, she took the cat and herself down the hall.

  Great.

  Just what I needed. My sister even more pissed off at me. And my business was sustainable, dammit. I’d built my clientele from a half a dozen to well over a dozen now. Actually moving into two dozen, if you counted the four seasonal clients I took on over the summers.

  I slumped onto the couch
—my bed until I left. And because I was the ever-dutiful sister, I took the pills and drank the water. I kicked off my shoes and curled onto my side, flipping the ancient blanket off the back of the couch to wrap around me. The familiar scent of vanilla and lavender pushed away the mad.

  I couldn’t fault my sister. I’d been just like her two years ago. The mere thought of owning my own company had been as foreign as…well, following a rockstar around the world. Not that he’d given me the chance. Nope, he’d just kissed me like his life—my life, no, our life—depended on it then left me hanging. Like a chump.

  My eyelids started to droop. I should get up and turn off the lights, but I just didn’t have it in me. A soft purr came from over my ear just before Boo leaped down off the couch cushion and dug his bony little toes into my hip before finally settling in behind my back.

  At least the cat didn’t hold my drunk feet against me.

  My stack of bags against the wall blurred. All my worldly possessions were down to four bags. My laptop bag, two suitcases full of clothes, and another with all the girl armor a woman needed. Makeup, shoes, and jewelry with a tiny stash of lingerie.

  Just in case.

  If I was going out to find myself, then at least I should be able to get laid, dammit. Sooner or later.

  Maybe.

  Flashes of Myles with his bright, almost otherworldly blue eyes popped into my brain. Seducing strangers, not him. He was my friend. Maybe I could get him back to best friend status someday. But not anything more. I’d had a taste of that and he’d taken it away.

  However, the courting thing he’d blurted out had caused my current state. So I was the definition of a hot mess—at least in my head. I pulled my pillow over my head. Friends. Not courting. He was just being stupid and now everything was muddy and confusing.

  The room spun a little, so I shut my eyes and let the mixture of beer and whiskey pull me under.

  It seemed like a mere nanosecond passed between my eyelids closing and the banging on my door dragging me out of sleep.