Kiss Me Before I Die

by Rena Marks

  The shimmer began in my toes and ran rampant through my entire body, ending deep in my mind. Visions of the world around me blended together before distorting into new apparitions. Finally, they straightened into the place where I’d meant to be. My kitchen.

  I hadn’t been gone long. I quickly packed the bags of blood into the refrigerator and went to check on Ethan.

  He felt stone cold, no movement whatsoever.

  Pulling his cell phone out of a pocket of his discarded clothing, I searched through the menu to find a number. Reese.

  He answered on the first ring.

  “Reese, how is she?”

  There was a pause. “Stable, I guess you could say. Still in her comatose state.”

  “That’s how Ethan is.”

  “Did he feed?”

  A tiny bit of guilt tinged my voice as I thought of the unused blood bags I’d brought home. “Yes.”

  I didn’t mean I’d fed him. I’d meant I was able to feed him, though not from me. From the relief in his voice, Reese misunderstood, choosing to believe that I would be a donor because of our relationship.

  “Good. He’ll need the nutrition. Afton, if your mother is able to pull out of this, we need to figure out what to do with her. Releasing her to the care of humans merely means they’ll drug her again, for the rest of her days. It also means your government will have the opportunity to take her for experimentation, seeking to find where she’s been.”

  “No, I realize she can never return to human existence.”

  “She can stay here among the clan if you wish. If not, I’m sure we can find a neutral location, like a church. However, here we can protect her. The first thing your government will do is search out churches and take her against her will.”

  “Of course. It’s what they did before. That’s why she and Father Millicotti were at the same institution.”

  “I already have teams dispatched back to Concord Clinic for him. He’s old but he has the benefit of being a previous blood donor in his favor. Our antibodies are in his system, protecting him from irreparable damage from the years of human drug use.”

  “Lucky for him.”

  “That’s the good thing about him. He never donated with a motive in mind. He donated because he knew we starved, trying to hide from the beginning of the Academy. He knew we avoided humans, afraid we might accidentally harm one.”

  “So he offered himself as a guinea pig? If you took too much, you would learn from the mistake?”

  “Yes. And though he has never requested it, we will take care of him.”

  “Okay, let me know if my mother’s condition changes, Reese. I’m heading to check on Ethan.”

  “Will do. Good luck, Extinguisher.”

  We were getting along so well before he turned formal on me. “Ex,” I muttered.

  “Ex…tinguisher,” he returned.

  I disconnected. Patience was not my virtue.

  Now that I’d lied, I guess I’d better feed Ethan. Grabbing a bag from the fridge, I headed into the bedroom. He lay flat on his back, facing the ceiling. I waved the bag under his nose, watching his nostrils flare, as if an automatic reaction.

  “Wake up, baby. Let’s eat,” I cajoled.

  Nothing.

  I positioned his head so it tipped slightly back, as if to clear his airway for CPR. It was enough to open his mouth so I could pierce the bag on a fang.

  While it didn’t exactly wake him, he took the corner of the bag and sucked, draining the blood. The swallowing seemed almost instinctual, yet he did it without ever regaining consciousness.

  I pulled the now empty bag away, tossing the crinkled mess into a wastebasket near the bed. Lifting Ethan’s upper body, I propped a couple of pillows behind him.

  “Wake up, Ethan. Come on.”

  I shook him repeatedly and finally his eyes opened. But he never saw. Instead, his eyes looked through me, staring at a point way past me.

  “Hey, vampire,” I chided softly. “Remember me?”

  His eyes rolled back in his head as he slumped.

  “Uh-uh, Ethan. Wake up.” I was starting to panic now and hoped it didn’t show through my voice. I was selfish, feeding him dead blood after he used this much strength to save my mother.

  I was almost relieved when he finally responded.

  “Bella?” he asked. “My…Bella? My…dolly.”

  I almost didn’t catch that last word. Surely that wasn’t Virginia’s projection.

  “Ethan? Who am I?” I said, loud enough to startle him with my fear.

  “Dolly. Little dolly. They’ll take you to keep you safe. But can you really be safe when you have the devil’s genes?”

  “What do you mean?” I whispered. There was no doubt I was speaking to Virginia’s broken mind.

  “The spawn of Satan…my sweet little dolly. I can’t let them know.”

  “Who, Virginia?”

  For long moments, Ethan’s eyes stared ahead, as if he hadn’t heard me. But I was left with a chilling new dilemma.

  Had he?

  Not that, I prayed. Please let him not be alert during the conversation between Virginia’s mind and me.

  I was sorry I’d woken him. But he didn’t seem to be responding as Ethan.

  “Virginia, you’re going to be fine. You need to get better.”

  “Not with all these crazy blood suckers.”

  “They’re not crazy, Mummy. They’ll help you.”

  “Can’t trust the monsters.”

  “You have to. I need you to get better for Father Millicotti. He’s coming.”

  “Father?”

  “Yes. He’s coming and you have to get well so you can take care of him.”

  Ethan was silent while Virginia pondered this idea. A sense of elation ran through me. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? I knew Virginia like the back of my hand. Years of stealing her secret files the Academy kept served me well. Virginia fought anyone trying to help her, as if her own self worth wasn’t worth it. But she would fight just as fiercely for someone else. Give her the reason to exist.

  “Mummy? Can I trust you to take care of Millicotti?”

  Ethan’s face was visibly relaxed as he slowly nodded. “What shall I do?”

  “Let your mind relax. Accept Ethan’s touch.”

  “It’s a cold, invading poison, eating through my brain, destroying me.”

  “It’s an antidote. The poison was already in your brain for so long, you’ve confused the two. You can’t remember what it was like to be normal.” She was quiet. I knew she considered the theory. “Mummy, remember the horrible monster you hate to think of? Who did ghastly things to you? That was the poison. Did he bite you? That has been spreading through you all this time. Ethan’s mind is not poisoning you, it’s new. It just started. It heals.”

  “That makes a little sense, but I’m so scared.”

  “Trust me.”

  “How do I know it’s you? I can’t see you!”

  “Just feel me. This is your dolly.” I ran my fingertips across Ethan’s forehead and down his cheek. “You have to just trust, for Millicotti’s sake.”

  I could see when she accepted my words. Ethan’s face went expressionless as I lost the connection.

  I pulled one of the pillows from behind him, letting his body slump more comfortably. I was so tired, I almost didn’t have the strength for that simple move.

  Slow as molasses, I peeled off my shirt, my pants, my boots. Curling onto Ethan’s tattooed chest, I passed out.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I came awake in waves—to a comforting awareness. A large hand, splayed across my back, holding me against the chest I knew as well as my own.

  I inhaled his scent, wanting this memory burned into my memory forever.

  “I have fed.”

  I paused in the inhalation of him. Wary of his tone.

  “Yes.”

  “You did not feed me from your vein.”

  “I sought out a blood bank.”

/>   “Why? You knew I would heal instantly with live blood. Blood from your vein.”

  I sighed. “Ethan, let’s not go into this. Not again.”

  Refusing to look up, I half traced the mermaid on his chest.

  “When will you trust?”

  The anger triggered. “What will you do if I never do?” I snapped. “There are no guarantees. I made you no promises about us.”

  “Your mother called you the devil’s spawn. What does she mean by that?” he asked.

  The statement caught my breath.

  He’d remembered.

  “How would I know?” I said, my voice a bit harsh in defense. “She’s crazy.”

  “Is she?” he asked softly.

  I refused to answer. I rose from him, my movements deliberate and slow and headed for the adjoining shower.

  He was gone when I returned.

  I wouldn’t acknowledge my negative feelings, nor would I feel guilty. I would not miss him. It was for my own good.

  To make matters worse, it stormed while I pondered these worthless feelings. More than once I wondered if the storm was brought on by him. I looked toward my balcony, thinking somehow it would be easier for him to contact me if I were out in nature with the whipping winds.

  As if he would. I’d practically driven him away with my standoffish stubbornness. Yes, I knew he would heal faster with my blood as opposed to that from a bank, as he’d pointed out. And yes, it was the least I could have done considering how much he’d gone through for my own mother.

  The guilt was horrendous. Once more, I looked toward my balcony but it was way past a hint of sprinkling rain. I opened the sheer curtains that shielded the outside world from my living quarters.

  Lightning cracked against the black ink of the sky, followed by the angry roar of thunder. I hated these nights. Being raised in the deep underground tunnels of the camp meant I’d never before been exposed to them as a child. They were unfamiliar to me. How people slept through such raging anger Mother Nature had to offer was beyond me.

  I curled against the pillow of my sofa, watching the rain pound against my French doors as if it fought to pass through the clear glass.

  The pounding was rhythmic, like the beating of drums.

  With Ethan gone, I had to sleep, I had to get to a normal human schedule. I needed to find a daytime job. I simply had to blend. Get out of my old routines.

  But I couldn’t relax.

  The more I fought to stay calm and peaceful, the more it eluded me. I knew lying in the unmade bed that still smelled of Ethan was pointless, so I lay down flat on the sofa.

  The rain was slowing. Funny little patterns were dancing against the glass. My eyelids felt heavy.

  And I remembered.

  “Shh, little one. It is time for our prayers. Do you have one?”

  I’d nodded solemnly. “It is my very favorite.” Eager to please, still so trusting and shy. They had taken me from my mommy but the doctors couldn’t keep me long. A judge had sent me to live with Sister Emily. She was beautiful, her skin milky white and pure. Her dress, always black. But her hair, the most vibrant red, I thought of it as fire. Rich and energetic, always dancing about her head when she moved.

  “Then I will let you recite it. Go ahead.”

  I closed my eyes, wanting so hard to please Sister Emily.

  But at five, I was still impish, the devil in control of my soul. I opened one eye to see her reaction to my prayer.

  “Dearest Lord, I thank you for my beauty. It’s the only way I can tell I’m not related to the doctors of the Academy.”

  “Dear Sweet Lord,” Sister Emily muttered, “Please keep one hand on her shoulder and the other over her mouth.”

  My eyes opened fully to an onslaught of tickling.

  Not only did I love Sister Emily, she loved me back. Unconditionally. She always had soft touches for me, the stroke of a touch over my cheek, the curl of fingers in mine.

  “Pray for you and pray for your mommy, little one,” she whispered again.

  My chest swelled with pride. “Now I lay me down to sleep.” My voice rang true and clear. “I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake—”

  This was where terror clutched my heart, tightening my rib cage. A scream came from deep inside, a dark place where nothing should ever reside. A place which should be empty, not a pocket full of…monster.

  That was what the doctors did to me. Injected me with monster. I wrenched from the dream, sitting up on my sofa in the damp darkness.

  My scream ripped at my throat, rendering it raw with the wail of terror. A roar of thunder sounded at the same time, drowning out the horror in my voice.

  Masking it.

  I breathed deeply, the oxygen pure and sweet. My racing heart calmed steadily.

  The universe gave me peace. It veiled my loss of control with a natural force much louder than I. Taught me that I was still small and could still be taken care of.

  And that I could finish the child’s prayer now. I shivered in the dark.

  I pray the Lord my soul to take.

  “Afton!” The yell came from the balcony outside my glass door. For a moment I panicked, until I remembered had the government found my location, they would have just materialized. There would be no warning.

  A frenzied knocking followed. “Afton!” The voice was familiar.

  Reese.

  I opened the door and let him in. He was drenched, black hair hung limply against his prominent cheekbones. “What’s wrong?” I asked, taking in his white face.

  “Ethan.”

  A paralyzing fear gripped my body.

  “He was captured by Extinguishers.”

  Despite the horror unfurling in my stomach, I felt the briefest relief. He hadn’t been purposely staying away from me. He hadn’t deserted me.

  “What? How?” I asked.

  It didn’t make any sense. I had given him every training skill imaginable. He shouldn’t get captured. Reese’s silence said it all.

  “He allowed them to take him, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” I hated when people were cagey and he wasn’t answering quickly enough. “Why, dammit?”

  “He wanted his capture kept secret.”

  “Why didn’t your clan stop it?”

  “It is a pact we have with Ethan. Never give up one for another. He made us swear.”

  “And who runs the clan if your leader is killed?” I snapped.

  “I’m the second.”

  I paused, letting the information sink in. “Damn convenient.”

  His lips thinned. “Don’t make me regret coming to you, Extinguisher.”

  There was something I was missing. “You’re alone,” I said. “No one knows you came?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I know you’re the only one who can save him. You’re the only one who’s been in and back out of the facility. Yet he made us swear, under any circumstances, we are not to find you.”

  “How did you?”

  “You have my son’s necklace. I was able to trace the general vicinity.”

  Why the hell was Ethan trying to keep me safe, even after I disappointed him? The answer dawned on me before I even finished thinking the question.

  “Oh, hell. They wanted me,” I said softly.

  Reese didn’t need to verify. I saw it in his eyes.

  Damn Ethan.

  I locked the door behind us and pulled him into the kitchen, where we sat at the table. At least I tried to sit, soon I was up and pacing.

  “I need to know everything. Every little detail before I head there,” I said.

  “They told Ethan they created an antivirus to keep humans from being infected by our virus. But they needed your blood to complete it. They had some on file but in order to activate it, make it react like ‘live’ blood, they had to introduce vampire blood to it. If he would volunteer, they’d agree to leave you alone and simply activate
the blood they had stored.”

  “They had nothing! I destroyed my files when I left. They were worthless anyway, my blood is unique. It was useless to them, unable to be activated.” Along with my eggs.

  I would never be bred.

  “Ethan didn’t know that. All he knew was they would never leave you alone.”

  “Was he at full strength?”

  Reese paused before answering. Confusion flickered in his eyes but he didn’t ask. “No.”

  So it had been easy to capture him. And it was my fault. I’d given him dead blood.

  “I’ll get him,” I promised. “But you need to care for my mother.”

  Reese nodded. “The human is doing amazingly well. She’s almost resolved toward getting better. And asked when we would capture the priest.”

  “I promised her he would come, but she needed to be healthy to care for him.”

  “With Ethan, we could have attempted to retrieve him. But now since your mother’s disappearance, security will be increased or he could be moved to another location.”

  “He’s not moved yet?”

  “I don’t believe so. But our priority has been Ethan, not the human.”

  Now, though, I had a plan. “Coordinate our watches. When I send the signal, I’ll start the entry into the compound. Have your men in place at the mental ward. Retrieve Millicotti at the exact same time. The government will be too distracted by my movements to deal with both.”

  “Won’t you sneak into the compound?”

  “Not at all. That’s what they’ll be expecting. I’m coming in full force.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was easy enough to get into the government camp. Men were still men, after all. A military-inspired uniform of a tight skirt and a little cap meant I had quick access to the security gate.

  Once there, I took out the guard inside and used an accent to move into the surveillance building.

  “This is Aleksandrina Losev. I have orders from Dr. Fokusovich to inspect your detection cameras.”

  “They’re working fine.”

  “Yess. I am verry sure they are, soldier. However, I have orders to inspect them for myself.”

  He sighed but my Russian accent was the kicker. Fokusovich always used his own colleagues for security-related work and they somehow had the highest security clearance. No one ever knew who was farther up on the totem pole but if it was Russian, you could guarantee it.