Shattered

by Janet Nissenson

  “Well, here’s a thought,” offered Dante. “If you don’t think she’s ready to listen – and, more importantly, you’re not willing to compromise – then stop talking and start acting instead. From what I used to observe, things were pretty hot between the two of you a few years ago. Just – uh, give her a sample of what she’s been missing. Unless, of course, she’s not really missing it.”

  Nick’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “You did tell me she’s dating some other guy, didn’t you? What is he – a pole vaulter or a javelin thrower or something?”

  “High jumper. And there is no way,” insisted Nick, “that a nerd like that is capable of satisfying a woman like Angela.”

  Dante grinned merrily. “So what are you waiting for then? Ah, but you’d be breaking one of your rules, wouldn’t you? Like the one you just brought up a few minutes ago – how you don’t poach on other men’s women.”

  “Fuck that.” Nick pounded his fist on the table hard enough to start the plates and cutlery shaking, and forcing Dante to grab wildly at his wine glass. “She doesn’t belong to him. Angela was mine first and I’ve decided to re-claim my property.”

  “Uh, uh.” Dante was shaking his head emphatically. “See, that’s part of the attitude adjustment you need to make, Nick. You don’t fucking own people. Angela is not nor has she ever been your property, your possession, even though that’s how you treated her four years ago. Relationships are all about equal give and take, and not these one-sided affairs that are all you’ve ever known. And until you’re ready to accept that – and actually do something about it – Angela would be a hell of a lot better off if you just left her alone.”

  The look on Nick’s face was grim. “I know that. Damn it, why do you think I left her four years ago? Of course she’d be better off without me in her life. The problem is, she hasn’t been, at least not from what I’ve seen. And the even bigger problem is now that I’ve seen her again, I can’t stand the thought of not having her with me.”

  “Well, then, you’d better get your shit together, Nick. Nobody’s saying that relationships aren’t a lot of hard work. But you at least need to be willing to try and do the work. From where I’m sitting, it sure as hell doesn’t look like you’ve reached that point yet.”

  Nick heaved a sigh of frustration. “I’ve always admitted to being a fucked-up bastard. And the real issue is I don’t even know where to start if I decide to change things.”

  “Maybe you should try following my advice – stop analyzing, stop talking, and just fucking take her to bed. Maybe a week or two of nonstop sex will somehow magically fix everything.”

  He regarded Dante dubiously. “Uh, huh. And you really think that’s going to just make all of the other issues disappear?”

  Dante’s dark eyes twinkled mischievously. “Well, it’s a helluva good place to start, isn’t it? And it’s always worked for me in the past. Look at it this way, Nick – a week of hard, dirty sex might not make things better but at least you’ll have a lot of fun trying.”

  ***

  Angela couldn’t help herself. No matter how many times she’d tried to convince herself over the past week that Nick wouldn’t dare show his face at Julia’s wedding, she hadn’t been able to keep from looking over her shoulder every so often just to make sure. She was furious that she’d allowed him to make her act all paranoid, on top of everything else he’d done, and she was still more than a little peeved at Cara for giving details about her personal life to that controlling bastard.

  She peeked over her shoulder so often, in fact, that Lauren had finally snapped, “Who the hell are you expecting to see back there anyway – Freddy Krueger? A swarm of angry bees? Knock it off, Angie, would you? You’re starting to freak me out a little.”

  So she’d tried not to keep sneaking furtive little glances wherever she went, tried to fight off the fear that Nick would actually have the nerve to drive all the way down here to cause trouble. God, that would be all she’d need this weekend, with not just Lauren and Julia constantly nearby but Dwayne flying down for the wedding, too. And Dwayne, of course, knew exactly who Nick was and wouldn’t hesitate to clue Lauren in if she inquired. And then – well, then all hell would definitely break loose.

  Angela breathed a sigh of relief when a discreet inspection of the banquet room at Casanova – the trendy Mediterranean restaurant in Carmel where Julia and Nathan had chosen to hold their rehearsal dinner – revealed no unwanted guests were present. But her paranoia wouldn’t go away quite so easily, and when she had to make a trip to the ladies room she all but dragged Lauren along with her. If anyone could defend her from Nick, it would be her best friend. Lauren would never –

  ‘God, stop it!’ she told herself angrily. “You don’t need to be defended from anyone. Nick is not going to just pop out of some corner and maul you. And even if he did, you’re a big girl, Angela, and you sure as hell can take care of yourself!’

  She felt better, more confident, after the little pep talk she gave herself, and was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. Both Julia and Nathan had wonderful families, everyone seeming to get along and enjoy each other’s company. There didn’t appear to be any of the gossip, bickering, and petty jealousy that always seemed to be going on at her own family gatherings. And since she’d always felt closer to Julia’s parents than her own, it wasn’t so surprising for her to pretend for this one night that she was an actual member of the McKinnon family.

  Dwayne seemed to fit right in with everyone, especially Nathan’s younger brother Greg, who had also competed in track during his school years. Dwayne, in fact, got along with everyone she’d introduced him to so far, including her own family. Her parents had declared him a “nice young man”, though admittedly her mother hadn’t been thrilled to learn he was an athlete by profession – and a poorly paid one to boot. Dwayne was good natured enough not to mind when her aunts and sisters gave him the third degree, and had quickly bonded with the sports-crazy male members of the family.

  It was just too bad, thought Angela with regret, that Dwayne was more like the brother she’d never had than her boyfriend. And that, despite her mother’s not so subtle hints, he would never be her fiancé, much less her husband.

  Dwayne dropped her off at her parents’ house after dinner before continuing on to his own family home. He’d begun to hint lately that maybe they ought to consider taking their relationship to the next level – namely, sleeping together. Angela had been startled and completely caught off guard, and had only been able to stammer and stutter in response.

  And even though her parents were out of town at present – this time on a cruise to Alaska – Angela had discouraged Dwayne from staying at the house with her as he’d initially suggested.

  “It’s just – well, that place doesn’t hold very good memories for me,” she’d explained. “I wouldn’t want – well, I’m sure you get the idea. Besides, you don’t get to see your own family all that often these days so I’m sure they’d be disappointed if you didn’t stay with them.”

  And while Dwayne had readily agreed with her rationale, Angela had been guiltily aware that she’d been almost desperately scrambling for delay tactics. But she simply wasn’t ready to become intimate with him – or with any man. Even though it had been nearly four years now since she’d had sex – since that fateful night of her twenty-third birthday – she had no intention of ending her self-imposed celibacy until she was good and ready. And since the affection she felt for Dwayne was strictly on an emotional level, there was really no chance of him ever being the man to end her four year drought.

  There was, in fact, only one man she’d met over the last few years who’d touched her on any sort of physical level – the only man who’d ever truly done so in her entire twenty-six years.

  ‘Damn that Nick. It always comes back to him, doesn’t it?’ she thought bitterly. ‘He’s definitely ruined me for anyone else. And apparently the
only way I can deal with that fact is to either give in or get out.’

  Get out of the office, that was. She’d given the matter some serious consideration as of late, had even done some very casual checking into rental property and real estate around both the San Jose and Oakland areas. Both of those cities had a large branch office of Morton Sterling, and she’d be able to transfer to either of them while still retaining all of her clients. Such a move would remove her from Nick’s path and allow her to return to a life without him in it, a life where he wasn’t constantly tormenting her and tempting her to come back to him, to be under his control again.

  And there was no way he’d consider following her. Not when he had really just settled into his new offices with a new firm, was even now still assembling his team. Angela knew he had two associate brokers – who happened to be a married couple – along with an admin assistant, and all three had made the move with Nick from Jessup Prior. And, according to what she’d learned from Cara, a second assistant had just been added to the team. Rumor had it that Nick was still looking for a third associate and possibly another admin assistant, and that nearly every up and coming broker in the office was vying to join his team.

  Angela snorted in derision as she got ready for bed. She couldn’t imagine working for someone like Nick, and assumed that he insisted on complete control of everything having to do with his business, just like he did in all other aspects of his life. Even with a boss as tough as Barbara had been, at least Angela had been free to take her own path, make her own decisions. Barbara might have pushed her hard, might have made most work days a living hell, but she’d always had complete faith in Angela and had encouraged her to think for herself.

  And, Angela was pleased to note, that very same sort of self-sufficiency Barbara had drummed into her had spilled over into her personal life. It had helped Angela take control of her life again, had made her into a stronger person, and given her the strength she’d needed to stand up for herself – to her bosses, her family, and, more recently, Nick.

  Just before falling asleep, she smiled to herself as she imagined how loudly Barbara would have laughed to realize it had been her influence that now gave Angela the guts to stand up to Nick, to resist his potent allure, and not allow herself to fall back under his spell. In fact, thought Angela sleepily, if Barbara was somehow watching all of this unfold from up above, she was more than likely having a very satisfied drink or two while she did.

  ***

  Nick figured he’d been nursing the same drink for the better part of a half hour now, but given that it was only the middle of the afternoon he wasn’t about to overindulge. His table was tucked into a discreet corner of the lobby bar here at the Gregson Resort in Pebble Beach as he waited – none too patiently – for Angela to make an appearance. That he felt like the worst sort of stalker wasn’t sitting very well with him. In fact, he’d asked himself at least a dozen times already what the hell he was doing here.

  He hadn’t been at all surprised when cute, gullible little Cara had informed him rather haughtily that she would no longer be able to keep him apprised of Angela’s personal appointments. They’d been found out, and the only real surprise was that it had taken Angela this long to figure things out. Nick had assured Cara it didn’t matter, that she’d been a big help, and that he appreciated her efforts up to this point. He’d been confident that if he had kept at her a little while longer Cara would have caved in to his very deliberate charm and found some way to continue conspiring with him. But he genuinely liked the girl and had no desire to get her in more trouble with Angela – who was becoming more and more like her former mentor Barbara Lowenstein with each passing day – and not in a good way.

  He’d been surprised – and reluctantly admiring – of how Angela had stuck to her guns thus far. Given how deeply she’d fallen under his control four years ago, Nick had rather arrogantly assumed that all he’d have to do was sweet talk her a bit in order to lure her back. But his Angel had most definitely developed claws during the time they’d been apart, and she wasn’t even attempting to keep them sheathed. Claiming her again was proving to be far more difficult than he’d imagined, and was causing him to do things he’d never, ever considered before just to get a woman.

  Like driving two and a half hours to Pebble Beach under the pretext of meeting a client, just so he could catch a glimpse of Angela and possibly have an opportunity to approach her. He had, in actuality, played a round of golf earlier this morning with his client Alec Glover – a client who just happened to be the manager of this hotel. The same manager who’d quietly given him the details he’d asked for about the wedding this afternoon.

  “It’s out in the garden chapel, with the reception on the outdoor patio,” Alec had told him. “But if you want to, let’s say, keep a low profile while you keep an eye on all the comings and goings, the best place to do that is from the lobby bar. All of the guests will have to pass by that way, including the bridal party.”

  Alec, who owed Nick big time for the many donations of autographed football memorabilia made to an annual charity auction he overseed, had also discreetly informed him that neither Angela nor Dwayne were registered guests at the hotel. Nick assumed that they were staying with their families, adding an unforeseen glitch to his plans.

  Though to call his actions thus far today an actual plan was really stretching it, he thought. He had no fucking clue what he was going to do when and if he saw Angela, had no idea why he was even here. Up until today he’d fully believed that only women – desperate ones, at that – did this sort of shit – lying in wait for someone, arranging to “accidentally” run into them. He was beginning to think that both Angela and Dante were right – he was, in fact, having some sort of mental breakdown. He knew for sure that Angela was driving him mad with her continued refusal to resume their relationship, and that something had to give – very, very soon.

  Nick’s patience – which was usually in short supply to begin with – had very nearly reached the end of its limits when a stream of elegantly attired wedding guests finally began to filter past the bar in a slow but steady stream. It wasn’t difficult to pick them out – the men in suits, the women in varying lengths and styles of cocktail dresses – especially since the guests at the hotel were mostly garbed in “resort casual” clothing at this time of the day.

  He recognized one of the guests as being none other than Ian Gregson himself – part of the family who owned not just this hotel but hundreds of others around the world. Ian was the Managing Director of all the hotels in North and South America, and was one of the very, very few people that Nick had actually attempted to solicit as a client. And while Nick did manage accounts for several of the Gregson hotel managers, plus members of Ian’s management staff, rumor had it that the Brit had quite the financial acumen himself and preferred to manage his own personal investments.

  Nick toyed with the idea of approaching Ian, even if it was just to say hello, but thought better of such an action when he noticed the breathtaking blonde by his side. Ian had eyes for no one but the gorgeous woman tucked against him, and Nick wisely stayed in his seat, continuing to keep his gaze peeled for a very different woman.

  Four men garbed in formalwear, whom he assumed to be the groom, his father, and groomsmen, crossed the lobby next, and Nick checked his watch with barely concealed impatience. Fifteen more minutes until the wedding and still no sign of the bride. Or, more importantly, a particular bridesmaid.

  His patience was finally rewarded a short time later when a white stretch limo pulled up to the porte-cochere. One by one the bridal party emerged from the vehicle – the bride, her parents, her sister and Angela. Nick smiled in appreciation at how beautiful she looked today. God knew he despised weddings for the most part, and all of the pageantry that went along with them. But there was no denying how striking his angel looked in her green floral print bridesmaid gown – the deep V-neck and long floaty skirt a perfect style for her tall, slender body, and the col
or ideally suited to her skin tone and hair.

  Her subtle but expertly applied makeup did a lot to enhance her big, dark eyes and wide, full-lipped mouth, as well as highlight cheekbones that were nowhere near as hollow as they’d been almost three months ago. Her long, shiny hair – which he knew was too stick straight to hold even the slightest curl – had been pulled back from the sides and held in some sort of clasp at her nape. The smile she gave the bride – her friend Julia – made her whole face light up, and Nick’s breath caught a bit in his throat as he took in her glowing beauty.

  He hadn’t expected anything more than this – the opportunity to get a fleeting glimpse of her dressed up in that beautiful gown. But today was evidently going to be a lucky one for him, as fate presented him with an unexpected bonus when Angela murmured something to her friends before hurrying off in the direction of the restrooms.

  Nick waited until the others had left the lobby area to continue on towards the wedding chapel before he stood. A wicked smile teased the corners of his mouth as he ambled leisurely towards the restrooms, seemingly in no hurry whatsoever. He ignored the looks he received from both men and women – the former likely wondering if he was really the Nick Manning, the football player, while the latter group was sizing him up for vastly different reasons. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the attention he attracted, a holdover not just from his days of being a professional athlete but of being the son of the world famous – and infamous – actress Sheena Sumner. And while his mother thrived on such attention – lived for it, in fact – he still hated it with a passion, and belatedly wished he’d thought to wear a pair of dark sunglasses and maybe even a hat.

  Fortunately the hallway outside of the restrooms was deserted, and he was quite alone as he waited for Angela to emerge. Still not entirely sure of what he was going to say to her, it turned out he didn’t have to ponder the matter for very long.