by Nikki Mays
I sit back in my chair. “Sure man, anything, you know that.”
“Can I have Sage’s phone number?” He blurts out quickly.
I stare and blink at him a few times. I know this fool did not just ask for my woman’s phone number. “Wanna repeat that?” I growl. Best friend or not, I’m about to knock some sense into his dumbass.
He holds up his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa...not like that!” He squeals.
“What do you mean not like that?! How else am I supposed to take you asking for my woman’s number?!” I shout at the moron.
Of fucking course Declan’s nosey ass just happens to be passing by my office. I swear he’s worse than a damn bloodhound when it comes to gossip.
He pokes his head in with a half amused and half worried look on his face. The amusement is usually there. The worried look is probably because Rocco and are close and usually very solid.
“Everything okay in here? JJ, we can hear you yelling out in the hall man.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. I know that I shouldn’t be acting this way. I’m supposed to set an example as to how they all should act. “Everything’s fine.” I reply through gritted teeth that are on the cusp of cracking.
“Seems it.” The jackass replies while stepping further into the room. I’m not sure if it’s just because he’s nosey and wants to give everyone some gossip or because he’s worried that I might end up killing Rocco. Who the fuck am I kidding? It’s definitely the first one.
Rocco looks over at Declan. “I was just asking him if I could have Sage’s phone number. He started freaking out before I could explain.”
Declan tilts his head and blinks at him a few times. “Getting his body out of here without anyone noticing is going to be a bitch. You get that right?” Declan states while looking at me. “Not impossible, but you’ll definitely want to give Dam and Marc a heads up.”
Rocco crosses his arms. “You guys are the world’s worst friends.” He mutters petulantly like we’re the ones in the wrong.
I narrow my eyes on my soon to be dead best friend. “Actually, I’m thinking he’s one of the best a guy can get.”
“Awe, that’s so sweet.” Declan states in an annoyingly sugary voice.
Rocco sighs like he’s wishing he could take this entire conversation back. You and me both pal. “If you had let me finish, instead of jumping the gun like a jealous moron.” He holds up a hand when I go to argue. “Don’t even try to tell me that you’re not. We’ve been friends for years man, you know that I would never do anything like that.” He stares me dead in the eyes.
I hang my head in shame, because he’s right. I trust him more than anyone in this world. “I’m sorry.” I say as I grab the back of my neck. “It’s just Sage, ya know?” I shrug. “She’s it and hearing you ask for her number kind of set me off.”
I hear a snort. “Kind of?” Declan asks with raised eyebrows. Why is he here again?
“Fine.” I grit out, while staring daggers at the jackass who won’t leave. “I completely freaked out...better?” Both of them nod their heads yes. “Why do you want her number though?” I ask calmer realizing that I did jump the gun...a bit.
He coughs into his hand and side-eyes Declan. Unfortunately, we all know that fool isn’t going to leave. He sighs when he sees the huge smile on Declan’s face. “Her sister Lavender.” Rocco mumbles.
Ah, yeah, that would make sense. I probably do need to calm down a bit. Well, only around them anyway. “What about Lav?”
“She’s hot.” Declan states casually, earning a glare from Rocco. Hmm, interesting. “What, she is. Anyone with eyes can see that. She also has sweetheart written all over her.” Declan finishes giving Rocco a glare now.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Rocco questions with a perplexed look on his face. Truthfully, I’m curious myself. I didn’t know that Declan had any interest in her. “Shit! You like her too?” Rocco scrubs a hand over his face.
That could cause some problems for all of us.
Declan scoffs like that’s completely absurd. “No, but we are friends. Kay and Sage are close, which means Lav is around a lot. I spent a lot of time over there when Marc was recovering so that his dumbass didn’t get shanked by his own family.”
I chuckle. “Like that’s why you were really there.”
He gives me a serious look. “Seriously, if he bitched about the dishwasher not being loaded properly one more time, I was one hundred percent convinced that Abby was going to smother him in his sleep and that Kay would allow it. Fuck, even sweet little Lexi was giving him dirty looks towards the end and she didn’t even realize what was going on. That man was closer to death with his family than he was when he got shot. That’s the God’s honest truth.” He shrugs a bit. “And if Kay happened to feed me, well that was cool too.”
Rocco snorts. “I knew it came back to food with you.”
“Anyway,” Declan starts, ignoring Rocco’s jab. “I got to know Lav really well. She’s an absolute sweetheart. Literally, like the nicest person that I’ve ever met in my entire life. So, if you want her number for a quick fuck, look somewhere else.”
I forgot that once Declan bonds with someone, he tends to be insanely loyal to them. Guess he’s bonded with Lavender.
“I don’t want her for just a quick fuck.” Rocco growls. “But I can’t seem to get her to give me the time of day! She’s my niece’s teacher and I see her all the time since my sister suckers me into picking up her kids. It’s like she can’t get away from me fast enough but I catch her staring at me when she thinks that I’m not looking. I just wanted Sage’s number so that maybe she could give me some insight into the most frustrating woman on the damn planet!” He finishes in a huff.
“Oh.” Declan states ever so eloquently.
Rocco raise his eyebrows and widens his eyes. “Oh. That’s all you’ve got, fucking oh?”
“Good luck.”
Rocco looks over at me. “But it’s my body that you all wanted to hide. Mine...not this jackass...mine.”
I give him a grimace. When he puts it like that, yeah, it sounds pretty bad. “My bad.” I try to apologize.
Rocco holds his hands out and looks up at the ceiling, most likely looking for divine intervention or guidance. I hate to break it to him, but that shit probably won’t be happening. “Anyone have any useful advice?”
Declan and I look at each other blankly. I take my phone out of my pocket. “I’m just going to text you Sage’s number.” I say while already doing just that and look up at him when I’m finished.
I can hear his phone vibrate in his pocket. “Thanks.” He hisses at me. Can’t really blame him for being a little pissed off right about now. He did kind of get put through the ringer for absolutely no reason.
Declan looks around uncomfortably for a few moments. “You guys wanna head to Home Plate after our shift today? I’m pretty sure Erin is working.”
And just like that he defused the tension without really knowing why. Rocco gives him a smirk. “Sure, man, I’m up for a beer. I even have a feeling that today is your day with winning Erin over.”
“Thanks buddy. I have a good feeling about it too.” Declan smiles like the clueless sap that he is.
Several Hours Later:
“I still can’t believe how mean all of you are.” Sage whispers to me.
I look down at her mid sip and shrug. “It’s not our fault that he’s so damn clueless. It’s been years already. He really should’ve caught on a long time ago.” I tell the woman frowning up at me from her chair here at HP.
She shakes her head in disappointment. “It’s still really mean of you all not to tell him.”
“We’re doing him a favor if you really think about it.” Marc offers.
Besides me, Sage, Declan and Rocco, Marc and Kay decided to join us. Along with them came Danny and Mason. Apparently, the rest are watching Dee, as she watches the kids. I wouldn’t fully trust her either, even if I think her brand of grandparenting
is funny as hell.
Sage gives him a droll look that he ignores. “And how exactly are you doing him a favor by letting him endlessly hit on a lesbian?”
“Well, my wife’s wonderfully salty herb friend, I’ll tell you.”
“I can’t wait.”
Ignoring her entirely he continues. “You see, by continuously hitting on Erin, it means that he is having a drought we’ll call it.”
“I’m with Sage on this one.” Danny chimes in. “How is that doing him a favor, instead of just making him homicidal?”
Huh, I never really thought about it like that. He might just snap one day.
“Because, I’m sure he still has a go to list when he’s desperate.”
“Go to list?” Both Kay and Sage question in unison. I smirk at the sheepish look on Marc’s face. Yeah, didn’t think that one out before saying it in front of your wife, did ya buddy?
Luckily for him, Mason takes pity on his dumbass. “It’s a list of chicks that you call when you want a fuck and know that they’re usually down.” The girls are looking at him in what can only be described as pure disgust. “You just gotta make sure that you always rotate, so that they don’t start to get any ideas or get clingy and ruin everything.”
“That’s absolutely disgusting!” Kayla exclaims while the rest of us snort.
Mason is yet again the only one brave enough to say anything though. “Says the woman who married the world’s biggest man-whore alive.”
“I wasn’t that bad.” Marc tries to defend and is met with blank stares. “I wasn’t as bad as Danny at least.” He mumbles before taking a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, but I’m famous.” Danny replies evenly.
Sage looks at him with wide eyes. “What does you being “famous” have to do with anything?”
He looks across the table at her and gives her a look that says he thinks that she’s dumb but is smart enough not to say that out loud. “It’s to be expected that I wouldn’t just waste my time with one chick.”
“You realize that someday, some guy will talk about your daughters like that right?” Sage asks.
The smile he gives her is downright creepy. “No they won’t. My girls are never coming near any guys. JJ and I have decided to see if we can find an all girl catholic school to send all three away to.”
“That’s a pretty good plan.” Mason agrees. “Hey, if you find one, you can send Abby and Lexi to it when they get older.” He finishes while looking at Marc. Marc who looks like he’s mentally reminding himself to look up this information when he gets home.
Sage and Kayla look at each other for a while. Almost like they’re having some weird conversation before they oddly turn their heads towards us at the same time.
Sage licks her lips and opens her mouth to speak and then closes it. She does this a few times before she actually begins to speak. “I’m not sure what worries me more. That fact that you two,” She points between me and Danny, “have taken it upon yourselves to come up with some ludicrous plan to make sure that the girls never date. Or that you didn’t even take into consideration that I might not want my children living apart from me.”
Kayla sits forward in her chair and places her arms on the table. “And now you guys are even giving this fool dumb ideas to hope for.”
Marc looks down at her. “Don’t act like this might not be a great idea pixie. It’s like a guarantee that the girls stay virgins forever!”
Kayla pats him arm and sighs...heavily. “Honey, Abby is already coming up with plans to shank you and dump your body. Don’t make the small sweet one want to help her.”
He gives her a frown while the rest of us chuckle. “I really think that you’re exaggerating about that. My girls adore me.” He says with way more confidence than he should be feeling if half the shit I’ve heard is true.
“Yes honey, they love you...to death.” Kay mumbles the last part making us all laugh. Well, everyone except Marc who’s now giving his wife a nasty look.
“Anyway, like I was saying, JJ and I have come up with the perfect plan.” Danny states.
“Why do you have to keep bringing me into this? This was really your idea. I just somewhat agree with it.” I question, knowing damn well that if I don’t find a way to distance myself from this idea, I’m going to have to deal with a bunch of pissed off women. I haven’t stayed alive this long by being stupid.
Danny gives me a narrow-eyed look and runs his tongue across his teeth. I’m suddenly not getting a good feeling about my future. “I’m bringing you into it since you play a major part.” The twinkle in his eyes tells me that the dickhead knows exactly what he’s doing. “The boarding school thing was your idea after all. I always give credit where credit is deserved.”
I don’t know how or when, but I’m going to find a way to kill him
“All I said was that there aren’t currently any all girl catholic schools in our area. You were the one who took it to the whole boarding school level.” I grind out.
He nods his head. “True. But I wasn’t the one who did all of the research on that. That was all you my friend.”
I widen my eyes at this asshole. “You asked me to because you were too busy training for your final match!” I defend.
“I feel like you two shouldn’t spend so much time together.” Sage states in a deceptively calm voice that isn’t fooling anyone at this table.
Marc grabs a chip from the middle of the table and shoves the whole thing into his mouth. He chews quickly before stating. “I disagree. I think that they should spend a ton more time together. Honestly, between the two of them, none of our girls will ever date. I’m all for that.” He grabs another chip and yet again shoves the whole thing into his mouth.
Kayla whacks him on the arm. “Chew with your damn mouth closed. The kids have better manners than you do. And I know it’s not your mother’s fault.”
“What?” He mumbles through the massive amount of chips that he’s shoved into his mouth while she was yelling at him.
“Ugh. You are so gross some days. No one wants to see that. Stop shoving so much food into your mouth. You act like you haven’t eaten in years.”
You can hear an audible swallow that sounds disgusting. He rubs his hands up and down his abs. “It takes a lot of fuel to keep me looking this good darlin’ and we both know you like how I look very much.” He gives her a salacious grin that has her turning bright red and ducking her head.
“Back to the topic at hand and not the over grown man child that my bestie married.” We all pretend not to see the middle finger that he rubs his right eye with. “What would make the two of you actually think that sending the girls away was a good idea?” Sage questions.
Danny and I just stare at each other. My guess is that we’re both hoping that the other will answer.
“I’m still waiting.” She tells us like we aren’t completely aware of the pissed off woman staring at both of us.
“I mean, it was just a funny idea that we were throwing around one day.” I hedge.
Picking up what I’m throwing down Danny chimes in right away. “Right. Like it was just a funny type of thought. Of course, we would’ve mentioned it to you if we were serious. It’s just kind of like a happy thought place to go to whenever we see teenage, hormone filled walking boners looking at them.” He growls out that last part.
I definitely agree with him. Anytime I see one of those little fuckers looking at the girls, my daydream of them going to a convent becomes more and more vivid. But I won’t be admitting it to Sage.
It’s almost like he could hear my internal dialogue because he gives me a look that clearly says “You owe me.” before starting. “Okay, fine. I just think that it would be a really good idea. Hell, it’s not like cost would be a factor either. Fuck it, I’m even will to pay for Paige, so that we know all the girls will remain virgins until they’re eighty.”
“I’m sure JJ wouldn’t feel comfortable with you paying his daughter’s tuition.” Sage informs
him.
Dammit, I was so close to being in the clear here. “I mean, when it comes to her safety and education, I’m not going to say no if he wants to help me out.”
Sage’s head whips around in my direction. I was so close to being safe. “Oh really? You wouldn’t care at all if he paid a hefty tuition for your daughter?”
I blink knowing damn well that I shouldn’t say what I’m about to say but I’m an honest kind of guy. “If it meant the possibility of her remaining a virgin until she’s eighty?”
She blinks, looks over at Danny, blinks some more and then looks back at me. “You two really can’t be this delusional. Some of this is an act...right?” She looks back at Danny. “Like come on, we had the girls when we were sixteen.”
Danny gives her a victorious look and snaps his fingers. “And you just proved my point as to why we should send them to an all-girls catholic boarding school. We do not want them to become us. I wouldn’t trade them for the world but I definitely want them to have an easier life than we did.”
He sits back and takes a long pull of his beer.
Damn, this mother fucker is good. All the guys are nodding their heads along too. He should become a motivational speaker or some shit.
Sage gives us all a blank look. “There is literally not enough wine in the world to deal with all of you dopes.”
“Really? Because you two seem to be doing a good job at packing it away.” Mase drawls from his seat.
Sage gives him a glare. “No one asked you, you roided up gym rat.”
He places both hands on the table and leans forward. “This is all natural and you damn well know it!” He hisses at her. “And I’m not a gym rat. Some of us just don’t let ourselves go.” He ends with his lips pursed.
If looks could kill Sage and Kayla would’ve murdered his dumbass a million times by now. I’m a smart enough man to stay the fuck out of this conversation. He brought anything bad that happens to him upon himself.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sage questions.
“Yeah Masey, I’m curious too.” Kayla states.
