The Way to Yesterday

by Sharon Sala

  “Are you okay?”

  The deep rumble of his voice, as well as the gentleness of his touch, was almost her undoing. She wanted to tell him now, in the quiet of their daughter’s room, but then he took hold of the hand that she’d cut and placed a tender kiss in the palm of her hand.

  “How about we give this poor little hand a rest? I’ll make us some sandwiches for lunch and tonight we could order in. We’ll have an early dinner…maybe watch a movie. It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything for us.”

  She laid Hope in her crib and then turned, unaware that the shimmer in her eyes was a dead giveaway of her emotions.

  “I’d love that. You choose the food. I’ll choose the movie.”

  He grinned. “As long as you don’t make me watch You’ve Got Mail again, you’ve got a deal.”

  Mary made a face. “But I like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.”

  “I do, too, but I’ve seen that movie enough already to last me a lifetime.”

  “Then how about Sleepless in Seattle?” she asked, fully aware that her two favorite actors also starred in that movie, as well.

  He growled as he swung her off her feet.

  “You pick the food. I’ll pick the movie,” he bargained.

  “Chinese.”

  “Lethal Weapon.”

  They laughed in unison and then walked out of the room arm in arm. For now, the tension between them had been shoved aside in the joy of the unexpected reunion.

  Less than an hour later, the doorbell rang. Daniel was in the act of slicing tomatoes for their lunch.

  “I’ll get it,” Mary said. The smile was still on her face as she opened the door, but when she saw the expression on Phyllis O’Rourke’s face, it was all she could do to be civil. “Phyllis…what a nice surprise. Please, come in.”

  “Where’s Daniel?”

  “In the kitchen making sandwiches for our lunch. We’d love to have you join us.”

  Phyllis glared. “Isn’t it enough that he works all week as a lawyer? Must he come home and feed himself, too?”

  Mary’s stomach began to knot. She held up her bandaged hand to add to a hasty explanation.

  “I cut myself this morning. He’s only helping—”

  “It’s always something with you, isn’t it?” Phyllis said, and physically pushed Mary aside as she strode into the house.

  Mary staggered, then steadied herself by grabbing onto the small table in the hall. Sick at heart, she turned around and saw Daniel standing in the doorway. The look on his face was somewhere between disbelief and fury.

  “Mother?”

  Phyllis turned, her expression full of indignation.

  “I called you about an hour ago, did you know that?”

  “Yes, Mary told me. Didn’t she tell you that I would call you back when I had time?”

  Phyllis looked as if she’d just been drop-kicked. She glanced at Mary and then back at her son.

  “Well…yes…I suppose she mentioned it, but you didn’t call and I needed…” She took a deep breath and started over, refusing to admit she’d been wrong. “Your Aunt Evelyn is in town. She and Hubert are coming to dinner tonight and I want you to come.”

  Daniel looked at his mother, then at Mary, who was still clutching the hall table as if it were a lifeline. Suddenly, things were beginning to make sense.

  Mary braced herself, waiting for Daniel to accept and knowing that she would have to endure a night of misery when they went. But Daniel surprised her by refusing.

  “Sorry, Mom,” then he walked past Phyllis and put an arm around Mary and gave her a quick hug. “We’ve already made other plans.”

  Phyllis’s lips went slack. If he’d slapped her, she wouldn’t have been more surprised. She glared at Mary, convinced that the woman was, somehow, at the bottom of Daniel’s refusal.

  “But Evelyn hasn’t seen your daughter and there’s no telling when they’ll be back in town.”

  Ignoring the whine in his mother’s voice, he tightened his grip on Mary.

  “Hope isn’t just my daughter, Mother, she’s our daughter, and I’m sorry we can’t come. Tell Aunt Evelyn we’ll send her some pictures, okay?”

  Mary was in shock. She still couldn’t believe what was happening or what had caused it, but it was all she could do not to giggle with relief.

  “Want to stay and have lunch with us?” Daniel asked. “It’s not much. I’m not as good a cook as Mary, but she cut her hand pretty badly this morning and I’m filling in. I still think she should have gotten stitches, but she thought otherwise. Anyway, it’s only canned soup and sandwiches, but I slice a pretty mean tomato.”

  Phyllis wouldn’t look at Mary and couldn’t meet Daniel’s gaze.

  “No…I’d better not. Since I’m having company tonight, there are a dozen things I need to do.” She smoothed a hand down the front of her dress and then lifted her chin and made herself smile. “Thank you for the invitation, though. Maybe some other time.”

  “Give our love to Hubert and Evelyn,” Daniel said.

  “Yes…yes, I will,” Phyllis muttered. “They’re going to be disappointed.”

  Daniel chuckled. “Then maybe next time they’ll call ahead and let people know they’re coming.”

  Phyllis didn’t bother to comment as she let herself out of the house.

  The moment she was gone, Daniel took Mary by the shoulders.

  “Mary…”

  She sighed, then looked up.

  “Talk to me.”

  “What is there to say?”

  “You can start by telling me how long she’s been treating you like this.”

  Mary’s chin trembled, but she wouldn’t let herself cry.

  “Since the day she found out I was pregnant and we were going to get married.”

  “No way!”

  “Oh, but yes.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Suddenly, Mary’s chin jutted mutinously. “And say what? That your mother thinks you would never have asked me to marry you if I hadn’t gotten pregnant?”

  “That would have been fine for starters,” he muttered.

  “I couldn’t,” she said, then pulled out of his grasp and turned away.

  “Why the hell not?”

  She answered, but the words were spoken so softly, he couldn’t hear what she said.

  “What did you say?”

  She pivoted sharply, her voice rising in misplaced anger.

  “Because I wasn’t sure but what it might be the truth.”

  Daniel was momentarily speechless, unable to believe the words that had come out of her mouth.

  “You can’t be serious!”

  She stood her ground without answering.

  Daniel tried to draw a deep breath and choked on tears instead.

  “My God, Mary Faith…how can you doubt me like that?”

  Mary’s lips trembled as her eyes welled.

  “Oh, baby…don’t,” Daniel begged. “Please don’t cry.”

  He pulled her close; his hands shaking as he tunneled his fingers through her hair, then rocked her where she stood.

  “I promise you will never suffer another indignity from my family and I apologize for being blind to what they’ve been doing. Trust me. It won’t happen again. I love you so much, sweetheart, and losing you would kill me.”

  “You can’t lose me,” she whispered. “And I love you, too, Daniel. Forever.”

  “Okay, then,” he said softly, then gave her a kiss so tender that it stole her breath away.

  “Are you real hungry?”

  Mary tilted her head, meeting his gaze with a smile.

  “Not for food.”

  “Thank God,” he muttered, and swept her off her feet and into his arms. “Now if Hope will just stay asleep for a little while longer…”

  Mary leaned her cheek against his shoulder as he carried her down the hall to their bedroom.

  “It’s been a long time,” she said softly, as he laid her down on their bed
.

  “Too long,” Daniel said softly, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

  The last thought in Mary’s head was a small prayer that this dream would not end.

  It was three o’clock in the morning when the phone rang. Daniel jerked in his sleep and then reached for the receiver before he was fully awake, not wanting it to ring again for fear it would awaken Hope.

  Mary sat straight up in bed, listening as Daniel answered.

  “Hello? Mom! What’s wrong? What? Slow down…slow down…you’re not making any sense.”

  Phyllis took a deep breath and then started to cry.

  “Oh, Daniel…it’s gone. Everything is gone!”

  “What’s gone, Mom?”

  “Our home. Our car. The clothes. All of my pictures.”

  Daniel swung his legs to the side of the bed.

  “What are you saying?”

  “The house caught on fire.” She choked on a sob. “Everything is gone.”

  “Are you and Dad all right?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Where are you?” he asked.

  “Across the street at Bob and Julia’s. Hang on a minute, will you? Your father is trying to tell me something.”

  “Yes, sure,” he said, and wiped a shaky hand across his face as he began to visualize the enormity of the loss. It was the house he’d grown up in, and there was nothing left but memories.

  Mary clutched Daniel’s arm, her voice taut with anxiety. “What happened?”

  “Mom and Dad’s house burned down.”

  “Oh no! Are they all right?”

  He nodded.

  “Go get them. They belong with us.”

  Daniel sighed. Hearing Mary say what he’d already contemplated was a huge relief. After what he’d witnessed earlier, he’d feared the last thing Mary would stand for was having his parents under her roof.

  “Thank you,” he whispered, and then turned back to the phone. “Mom?”

  “I’m here,” she said. “Mike wanted me to tell you which motel we’ll be at.”

  “No motel, Mom. We want you here. As soon as I get dressed, I’m coming after you and Dad.”

  Phyllis hesitated. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to face her daughter-in-law under such intimate circumstances.

  “Are you sure?” she finally asked. “I mean, your wife might not—”

  “Her name is Mary, Mom, and it was her idea first. Not mine. I’ll see you soon.”

  Phyllis heard him disconnect and then replaced the receiver. She knew Daniel. When he set his mind to something, there was no turning him back. She looked at her husband.

  “Mike, go wash your face. Daniel is coming to get us.”

  Mary dashed into the spare bedroom as Daniel pulled out of the driveway. It would take him about twenty minutes to get across town to where his parents lived, then another twenty or so to get back. It would give her just enough time to put clean sheets on the spare bed and find some fresh clothing for Phyllis and Mike to put on. Her hands were shaking as she began her duties, trying to imagine the heartbreak of losing forty years of accumulated possessions and memorabilia.

  Then suddenly she froze. She still had all the worldly possessions. It was her loved ones that were really gone.

  In that moment, she felt herself trying to surface from the indulgence of this fantasy. Before it could happen, Hope let out a wail and Mary began resubmerging, pushing away the fear and returning to the dream—because it was safer—and because it was where she wanted to be.

  She blinked, then looked up. The bedroom was still the same and Daniel’s winter clothes were still hanging in the extra closet. With a sigh of relief, she pulled the last pillow slip onto the pillow and dropped it in place, making sure that the bed was turned back in an inviting manner, then bolted out of the room toward the nursery.

  “Mommy’s coming, honey. Don’t cry.”

  She’d taken a coffee cake out of the freezer and had it thawing on the cabinet. Hope had been changed and fed and Mary was in the act of laying out a clean nightgown and pajamas when she heard Daniel’s car in the driveway. With a last look at the bedroom to assure herself that everything was in place, she hurried to the front door. They were just coming up the steps as she opened the door to greet them.

  “Phyllis…Mike…thank goodness you’re both all right.”

  She took Phyllis by the hand and pulled her into the house. They were red-eyed and soot-stained and the smell of smoke was all about them.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said softly, then gave Phyllis a quick hug before moving on to Daniel’s father. “Mike, tell me you’re both okay?”

  “As good as could be expected, I guess.”

  Mary nodded then her gaze moved to Daniel, as if seeking his approval.

  “I’ve given your father a pair of your clean pajamas and you two can sort through other clothes later.” Then she turned to Daniel’s mother. “Phyllis, you’ll find a clean nightgown at the foot of your bed beside Mike’s pajamas. There are clean towels in the bathroom as well as shampoo and a hair dryer. Please use anything you need. When you’ve both had a chance to clean up, come to the kitchen. I’ve made some hot chocolate and there’s coffee cake to go with it.”

  Mike O’Rourke seemed to go limp with relief, as if he’d been holding himself together by sheer will alone.

  “Thank you, dear. We appreciate you and Daniel having us here and we’ll try not to be a bother.”

  “Family is never a bother,” Mary said.

  Guilt rode hard on Phyllis’s conscience as she let Mike lead her down the hall toward the guest room. She paused in the hallway and looked back. Daniel was standing in the shadows with his arms around his wife, holding on to her as if his life depended upon it—and she was holding him back—her head buried on his chest, her hands fisted in the fabric of his jacket. Quickly, she turned away, unwilling to admit that the fresh set of tears in her eyes were because of them, and not the loss of her home.

  “Come on, Phyllis,” Mike said. “You shower first.”

  She took a deep breath and lifted her chin as she walked into the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

  Daniel gave Mary a swift kiss and then followed her into the kitchen. It was warm and comforting and smelled of chocolate and cinnamon. He took one look at the table set for four and hugged her again.

  “You are a saint,” he said quietly.

  “No, Daniel. Just a woman fighting for a place in your world.”

  “You are my world, Mary Faith. You and Hope matter more to me than anyone or anything else.”

  She pulled back and looked at him then, her shy smile almost childlike.

  “I know that…at least…I know that now. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

  “Forgiven,” he muttered, and slanted a hard kiss across her mouth before he turned her loose. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “I couldn’t find the marshmallows for the hot chocolate. Do you know where they are?”

  “Nope, but I can look.”

  “Thanks,” she said, then fluttered nervously toward the cabinet. “I just want this to be nice for them.”

  He frowned. “I don’t know that they actually deserve this, but I appreciate it, just the same.”

  She turned, her hands clutched against her middle.

  “Daniel, please. Don’t say anything to them about…well, you know. They’ve suffered a traumatic loss. Let bygones be bygones, all right?”

  “Fine, but I’d better not hear one critical remark out of my mother’s mouth or they’ll be looking for that motel after all.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet,” he muttered.

  “The marshmallows, please?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Right.”

  About a half hour later, Mike and Phyllis emerged from the bedroom, freshly showered and shampooed and wearing clean clothes. Daniel was waiting in the living room, watching Mary sleeping on the sofa. When he heard the door open, he aro
se, then pulled the afghan a little higher over her shoulder before he went to meet them.

  “Where’s Mary?” Mike asked.

  Daniel pointed toward the sofa. “Asleep. She doesn’t get much rest these days and Hope’s already had her up once tonight. I thought it best to let her sleep.”

  Phyllis peered over the sofa and stared at the thin, pale face of the woman who’d married her son. Even from here, she could see dark circles of fatigue beneath her eyes and felt a quick spurt of remorse. She remembered how hard it had been to be a mother for the first time and how exhausted she’d been. Fortunately, she’d had her mother and older sister nearby who’d been of tremendous help and support. She looked at Mary again. Mary had no one.

  As Daniel and Mike moved into the kitchen, she turned away and followed them, well aware that she had Mary to thank for her present safety and comfort.

  “What’s all this?” Phyllis asked, as she entered the kitchen.

  Daniel took the pot of hot chocolate from the stove where Mary had been keeping it warm and began to pour it into their mugs.

  “Cinnamon coffee cake, freshly warmed in the oven, and hot chocolate,” he said, as the warm, sweet scent filled the room. “Mom, will you cut the cake?”

  Reluctantly, Phyllis picked up the knife and thrust it through the cake. It parted tenderly beneath the blade in perfect slices.

  “It looks wonderful,” Mike said.

  Daniel beamed. “It tastes even better. Mary’s a really good cook.”

  Phyllis served up the slices, then sat down in her chair. The horror of what they’d just endured had been lessened by the warmth and comfort of this home. Up until she’d walked into the kitchen, she hadn’t been able to get the smell of burning wood and smoke from her nostrils. Now all she could smell was hot chocolate and cinnamon. She was clean and safe and everything they’d lost could be replaced.

  Then she looked at Daniel, watching the animation on his face as he talked to Mike about his plans for the future and knew there was one thing she’d almost lost that was irreplaceable—her relationship with their son.

  “How’s the cake, Mom?”

  Phyllis blinked, then made herself smile and take a bite.