Christmas at Willowmere

by Abigail Gordon

  On a bleak winter morning Willow Lake had not been at its best and one of the council workmen that he’d found festooning the trees around it with fairy-lights had said, ‘It’ll look better tonight, when these are switched on.’

  No doubt it would, he’d thought, and the memory of the night he’d found Anna there had surfaced. They’d had the place to themselves, but for what good it had done it may as well have been crowded.

  As he’d passed the gypsy site on his way to the lake he’d seen that Montrose and his people were still there, and even though it had been early, a couple of the men had been outside the caravans, chopping up fallen tree trunks for the fire. They’d waved and he’d waved back, and wondered how Tabitha was coping with her new status.

  The memory of the wedding would stay with him for ever—the food, the music, dancing in the light from the fire with Anna in his arms happy and relaxed. Would he be able to stay calm and controlled all over Christmas when every time he was near her the longing to have her permanently in his life took him by the throat?

  As he drove up the road to the moors to visit the elderly mother of one of the sheep farmers, his thoughts were still sombre. He was here, in the place where he could see Anna, touch her, work with her and socialize with her, yet he was no nearer to knowing what went on in her mind. One moment she was how he wanted her to be—happy in his company, loving and thoughtful as when she’d bought him the trumpet—and the next withdrawn into some private place of her own that he wasn’t allowed to enter.

  If he had any sense he would pack his bags and go as speedily as he had come. The opposition he faced was not so much lack of interest on Anna’s part, or someone of his own sex that she preferred to him. It might be easier to accept if it was.

  It was what had happened in the past that had driven them apart. He’d been waiting impatiently for her to join him in Africa and had been faced with silence, no communication of any kind, and he’d come to find out why.

  That had been when he’d discovered that James’s wife had been killed and Anna injured in a car crash with the twin babies in the car who miraculously had been unhurt.

  She had looked dreadful, but before he’d been able to express his concern about her wellbeing and the tragedy that had befallen her brother, she’d been sending him on his way, telling him bluntly that their romance was over because her future responsibilities were going to be with James and his family, and even when he’d said that he would come back and they could live nearby, she had still been adamant that it was over.

  CHAPTER NINE

  WHILE Glenn was thinking sombre thoughts James was having a pleasant surprise. An old friend had returned unexpectedly to the village after six years’ absence and had called in at the surgery to see him.

  Helen Martin had been his parents’ housekeeper for many years before she’d gone to live in Canada to be near her daughter, and now it seemed that she was back and living in a new apartment block recently erected on the outskirts of the village.

  ‘I was so sorry to learn that you’ve lost both your parents,’ she said when he showed her into his consulting room, ‘and your lovely wife, James. I only moved in yesterday but I was soon brought up to date with what has been going on in my absence. You have twin children, I believe, and Anna lives with you.’

  He smiled wryly. ‘You’ve been informed correctly, Helen. Anna put her own affairs to one side to help me look after my children when Julie died. She’s been living next door to us ever since and, believe me, there have been times when the two of us would have been over the moon to have you back at Bracken House. Are you home for good?’

  The robust middle-aged woman seated opposite nodded her head. ‘Yes. I was homesick and my daughter and her brood didn’t need me any more, so here I am, turning up like a bad penny, and I don’t mind telling you it’s great to be back.’

  ‘It’s great to have you back,’ he assured her, and asked, ‘Am I to take it that this is just a social call? You haven’t got any health problems?’

  ‘No. I’m fine, you’ll be relieved to know. I just called in to renew our acquaintance.’

  ‘You must have a word with Anna while you’re here,’ he told her. ‘She’ll be delighted to see you.’

  Anna was. ‘Helen!’ she cried, flinging her arms around the housekeeper. ‘I don’t believe it! Please, tell me that you’ve come back.’

  ‘I have,’ she was told. ‘I’m here to stay. I was homesick for Willowmere, Anna. So here I am.’

  ‘You have no idea how many times I’ve wished you were here,’ Anna told her. ‘So much has happened since you left.’

  ‘And what about your life?’ Helen asked sympathetically. ‘No husband or fiancé around?’

  Anna shook her head and the smooth red-gold of her hair moved gently with the motion. ‘No. I help to look after the children and am a part-time nurse at the surgery, which doesn’t leave much time for anything else.’

  ‘I can believe that,’ the unexpected visitor said. ‘Who is minding the children today?’

  ‘A young friend of ours, Jess.’

  ‘I’d love to see them. Is it all right if I pop round some time?’

  ‘Of course it is. Are you retired now?’

  ‘I’m supposed to be, but I have too much energy to be lazing around. I shall look for something in the village, I think, when I’ve settled in.’

  James came to seek her out when Helen had gone and said, ‘What about that, Helen turning up unexpectedly? Wasn’t it great to see her and to know she’s back where she belongs? Mum and Dad thought the world of her, didn’t they?’

  ‘Yes, they did, and so did we,’ she said fondly. ‘I’ll never forget her amazing cooking either.’

  ‘What does she intend doing with herself now she’s back? Did she say?’

  ‘She’s going to look for something in the village once she’s settled in.’

  ‘Really?’ he commented, and went back to his own domain in a thoughtful mood.

  Anna left the surgery at five o’clock to relieve Jess and to prepare their evening meal, leaving Glenn and James still occupied with the last patients of the day who had come on late appointments after work. When she put her key in the lock of Bracken House, she had the strangest feeling.

  It was as if she’d moved on a step by trusting someone else to look after Pollyanna and Jolyon for so many hours. As if the loving bond that bound her to them had become less tight, yet without any loss to them.

  When she opened the door the three of them were in the hall, waiting to greet her, and the children’s expressions told her that all was well. ‘How has it gone?’ she asked Jess. ‘Any problems?’

  She was smiling. ‘No, Anna. We’ve had a great time, haven’t we, children?’ she asked them, and they both nodded enthusiastically.

  ‘We went to the park this morning, had a little rest after lunch and then played games,’ she said. Bending to kiss their cheeks, she reminded them that she would be with them again the next day.

  Jess waved to them from the gate and as they all waved back Anna saw Glenn coming up the path, and the first thing he said when he came in was to ask how the childminding had gone.

  ‘Fine,’ she told him, aware that they hadn’t seen much of each other during the day. It had been so busy, and he’d been out longer than usual on a full list of house calls. As he stood beside her she saw that he had a sort of closed-up, defeated look about him that made her reach out to take his hand.

  ‘Don’t!’ he said abruptly, and as her arm fell away he turned and went up to his room without further comment.

  ‘I’ve just seen Police Constable Jarvis,’ James said when he got home a few minutes later. ‘He says that the lake is frozen solid and some youngsters were already on their way there with their skates as he came through the village. So he’s going to need eyes in the back of his head while it’s in that state. He’s been in touch with the council and they’re going to transfer one of the park wardens there in the morning to patrol th
e lake in case of any accidents and to put up danger notices so that anyone skating there will take care.’

  ‘Is he sure that it’s safe now?’ she asked absently, still smarting from Glenn’s unexpected rejection.

  ‘Yes. He’s tried it himself and it’s solid, but a frozen surface can change from one second to the next and just a short time in freezing cold water can be fatal. If you want to enjoy one of your favourite pastimes, I suggest you go tonight.’

  ‘What, in the dark?’

  ‘No. Glenn reckons that he was there this morning and the council workers were putting coloured lights on the trees around the lake so I can see half the village being there.’

  ‘Can he borrow your spare skates?’ she asked. ‘He’s keen to try it out.’

  ‘Tell him, yes, my pleasure.’

  When the children were asleep and James was doing some odd jobs around the house, Anna went next door to change into trousers, a warm jacket, woolly hat and scarf, and with a pair of skates dangling from her hand she came back to find Glenn.

  ‘The lake is frozen over,’ she announced when she found him alone in the sitting room while James was getting the children ready for bed. ‘Are you still in a bad mood, or do we go skating?’

  ‘I am not in a bad mood,’ he replied, ‘and, yes, we go skating, if James will lend me his skates.’

  ‘He will.’

  ‘Then you’d better take a seat while I find some suitable clothes,’ he said, and thought he didn’t deserve this after being so abrupt earlier.

  ‘I’m sorry I snapped at you,’ he told her when he appeared dressed in a similar manner to herself. ‘You didn’t deserve it.’

  ‘Don’t fret about it,’ she said. ‘I was worried about you, though I didn’t mean to fuss. Shall we forget it?’

  He was smiling now. ‘Yes, please.’

  James’s prediction was correct. There were lots of villagers on the ice in the winter paradise that the council had created and as they joined them, holding hands, all their uncertainties disappeared in the exhilaration of gliding along together.

  It was almost midnight when they left and there were still some people there, but tomorrow was another working day for them and hopefully the ice would still be there the following evening.

  ‘How long since the lake last froze over?’ Glenn asked as they walked home.

  ‘A few years, maybe eight or nine,’ she told him. ‘It was when I came home from university one Christmas and found it the centre of attraction for everyone.’

  ‘Tonight will be another happy memory to go on my list,’ he said as the house and surgery came into view.

  Now it was her turn to be touchy. ‘Every time you say something nice, there is a hidden reminder in it that you are not going to be here long,’ she said stiffly. ‘Do you get a kick out of torturing me? The situation I’m in is something I didn’t ask for, but was dealing with contentedly enough until you came back into my life, and now I’m being pulled all ways. You make me feel as if I’m being deliberately difficult all the time. How would you feel if we were married and I died and left you with two newborn babies to bring up? Wouldn’t you be glad of the help of your sister if you had one?’

  She wasn’t being truthful. James and the children would cope without her if they had to. The real reason was locked away in her heart and there it had to stay.

  ‘Shush!’ he commanded, turning to face her. ‘Do you think I don’t understand what it’s like for you, Anna? But if I go back to where I’ve come from, it will be because I’ll know once and for all that it really is over between us as far as you’re concerned.’

  There were tears on her lashes and he wiped them away gently with the ends of her scarf. ‘Three more days and it will be Christmas Eve and if I promise not to mention leaving again, will you promise not to shed any more tears?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said with a watery smile. ‘I promise.’

  ‘Come on, then, I’ll race you to the front gate. If I remember rightly, you used to be quite a sprinter.’

  They arrived together laughing and breathless, but as they separated it was there again, the sadness and the longing. When she was almost at her front door Glenn called her name across the surgery forecourt and she stopped. He was by her side in seconds and as she observed him questioningly he took her face between his two hands and kissed her gently on the mouth. When he released her he said softly, ‘Thanks for worrying about me earlier. I can’t remember when last anyone did that.’ And before she’d got over her surprise he’d gone.

  The skating on the lake continued the next day under the watchful eyes of the park warden and in the evening, after they’d finished their meal, James suggested, ‘Why don’t you and Glenn take the children to watch the skating, Anna? I’ll tidy up here.’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘you take them with Glenn, James. You haven’t seen the lake lit up. It’s like fairyland. I’ll do the clearing away.’ But he was insistent that it was she and Glenn who took them, and she had a feeling that he wanted her out of the way, though he’d said he might join them later.

  ‘I’m sure Glenn would rather be with you than me,’ he commented. ‘It’s clear to see how he feels about you, but are you in love with him, Anna? He told me today that you bought him a trumpet for Christmas and he was over the moon when he told me. I don’t mean to interfere, but a relationship that is one-sided is going nowhere.’

  ‘Yes, I bought him a trumpet,’ she said evenly. ‘And, yes, I do love him. I know that now. I’ve always loved him, I always will, but if there is one thing that Glenn wants out of life it is a family, children of his own. He had a haphazard sort of upbringing and until he came to Willowmere and came to live here he had no experience of family life, which makes him even more keen to create one of his own. But, as we both know, I can’t give him the children that he wants so badly and there is no way I want to put him in a position where he has to choose between me and them.’ As she finally spoke her true feelings out loud, Anna realised just how much she really did love Glenn. And just how futile that love was.

  James did see. Saw only too clearly that he could at least put Anna’s mind at rest regarding his affairs, and while she and Glenn were at the lake with the children he was going to take the first step towards that end by visiting a newly erected apartment on the outskirts of Willowmere.

  That would his first move. The second would be to call at a converted barn just five minutes’ walk away. In both instances he would be hoping that the plans that he’d been turning over in his mind during recent days might take shape.

  Glenn came downstairs a little later and asked, ‘Are we going to the lake again, Anna?’

  Yes,’ she told him. ‘James wants us to take the children to see the skating.’

  ‘Great! They’ll like that,’ he exclaimed, and within minutes the four of them were on their way to Willow Lake. When they got there Anna saw Clare and thought that the other woman was doing what she’d advised—to hold her worries at bay, keeping herself occupied. Clare had led the carol singers on Sunday night, as promised, and now was enjoying local winter sports. Perhaps some time over Christmas they could get together for a coffee or a glass of wine.

  ‘You’ll have to give the children skating lessons before the next time the lake freezes over, Anna. Kids of their age will soon pick it up,’ Glenn said as they stood at the edge of the ice.

  And she thought that it was there again, the ‘I won’t be around’ message in what he’d just said.

  She was holding tightly to the twins’ hands and said with assumed nonchalance, ‘Polly, the impetuous, is champing at the bit already, but Jolly is weighing up the ice with his usual caution. If I thought it would last, I would persuade James to get them kitted out with skates now, but the weather forecast indicates that temperatures could rise in the next few days.’

  She was looking around her. ‘I see that the notices are up advising caution with regard to thin ice. Where’s the park warden who is keeping an eye on things?’


  ‘I’ve just heard someone say that he’s been called to an incident on the river a couple of miles away so that is the last we’ll see of him today. He would have been due to finish when the emergency arose, so I’m going to stay until everyone has gone. I had some experience of water rescue while I was abroad and have a grasp of the basics, but there is no sign of a thaw as yet.’

  She shuddered. ‘It’s a gruesome thought, someone falling through the ice.’

  ‘Yes. Especially as children and teenagers are the ones who respond to this kind of excitement the most, and the council can’t afford to have a park warden on duty twenty-four hours a day.’

  James appeared at that moment and she asked, ‘Have you brought your skates?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist it once I saw the ice, but Jolly is rubbing his eyes, bedtime is calling. Maybe another day.’

  ‘There mightn’t be another time,’ Glenn told him. ‘Temperatures are forecast to rise.’

  ‘Stay,’ Anna urged. ‘Glenn has taken over from the park warden so you can keep him company.’ And still holding tightly onto the children’s hands, she took the little ones home to bed and spent the rest of the evening wrapping Christmas presents and decorating the house with holly and mistletoe.

  When James arrived home much later he looked more relaxed than she’d seen him in a long time and she wondered why. Was it the skating, or being with Glenn, or what?

  She wished that the future held the prospects of a less lonely life for him, that somewhere there was another woman who could make him as happy as Julie had, but she knew that he didn’t think along those lines. He adored his children, enjoyed the challenge of running the practice with dedicated efficiency, and with her beside him seemed to be content.

  She’d made a Christmas cake and the following morning got up early to decorate it. It was an average effort, she decided as she covered it in almond paste and thought wistfully of the time when Helen had been in charge of the kitchen and every meal had been something to look forward to.