SECRETS Vol. 5

by Unknown

  “There are only a few things I’m certain of. I have here and now. I have today. I had thought that there were no promises in this life, nothing to grab hold of—I used to think that nothing was forever, Anna. But this, me and you, it’s worth the risk. You’re already part of me, and it’s not that I can’t let you go, it’s that I don’t want to. I love you, Anna. You’re worth the risk.” He caresses my cheek with the back of his hand. His gaze doesn’t stray from my eyes.

  “What made you change your mind?” I lean into his hand. His touch makes my stomach fall away. I feel like I’m flying or falling—or both. The moment feels surreal, like it’s passing in slow motion.

  Cole’s eyes lower. Answering, he breathes, “You. You changed my mind. You changed my world…”

  Taking Cole’s face in my hands, I pull his lips down to meet mine. I kiss him. It feels like my life is in a free fall. I don’t know which way is up and at that moment, I don’t care. I feel found in Cole’s arms. I feel whole. The feminazi inside my mind is screaming at me, but I ignore her. Relying on another person isn’t weakness. Wanting a man doesn’t mean I’m not a strong woman. It means I have a heart. It means I can love someone and for some crazy-ass reason, he loves me back.

  We spend the night together in his bed, neither of us sleeping. Cole’s hands study every inch of my body. His lips follow, and he touches me, kisses me, and learns my body. I lay on my back as he strips my clothes away, leaving me naked. His eyes rake my figure, but he quickly moves on to caresses and kisses so soft and adoring that I’m floating in sheer bliss. My skin grows hot as my insides twist with each gentle touch. Every kiss is like a flame licking my skin. I feel Cole slide between my legs. He touches lightly before pushing his hard length inside of me. I moan and dig my nails into his back. I feel dizzy and giddy. There’s a smile on my face and no matter how hard I try, I can’t hide it.

  Cole’s hands tangle in my hair. He whispers in my ear, kissing my neck, as he rocks into me over and over again. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him in farther. We stay like that, in that euphoric state for hours, until Cole finally pushes me over the edge. My body shatters as I come. Every inch of me is hypersensitive. I feel him inside me and want him there. My nails claw his back as he finds his release, saying my name. He moves to pull away, but I hold him there.

  Looking into his eyes, I say, “I love you, Cole.”

  Our sweat covered bodies are tangled together. He lays on top of me as I stroke his hair. My heart is pounding and I can’t stop smiling. My messed up cave-man has a soft side.

  CHAPTER 4

  The night passes slowly. When I try to fall asleep, I find that I can’t. The red letters are there when I close my eyes, sending my pulse into panic mode. I refuse to be thrown out of my home, but this stalker has done more than that—he’s gotten into my head. Fear courses through me and I shudder. Cole lays next to me, dozing on and off. He feels me move and tightens his arms around me, hugging me to his chest.

  I hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The warmth of his body pressed to mine is perfect. We stay like that for a while. Eventually Cole kisses my brow and says, “I’ve been thinking about what you said, about my name.”

  Surprise fills me. I didn’t expect him to decide anything. Actually, I realized his name is important to him. It is the only part of a life that he no longer has. I guessed that his last name is like a security blanket, that it gives him comfort in some way that I don’t understand. I can’t rip that away from him. It makes sense. It’s also the only reason I can fathom as to why he’s letting Sottero walk all over him and steal his fortune.

  I don’t lift my head from his chest. I lay in his arms and feel his smooth skin under my fingers. “Oh?”

  “I think you might be right—that it isn’t worth holding onto. Not anymore. I know who I am. I don’t need a name to tell me that.”

  Worry trickles through me. “Cole, I just want you to be happy. I’m not sure if you should listen to me on that. I really don’t know anything about it or what you went through… I just,” I chose my words carefully, “didn’t understand before, but I think I do now.”

  “You think so?” He shifts me in his arms and looks down at me. His eyebrows lift into his hair. A crooked grin lines his sleepy face. I nod. “So, tell me, then.”

  I squirm in his arms, but he holds me tighter, not letting me wiggle away like I want to. I relax and his grip loosens. “Maybe I don’t know my ass from my elbow, but it seems like that name means a lot to you. It anchors you, gives you security about who you are and who you want to be. I get why you want to keep it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I was thoughtless. You should ignore me. I haven’t lived your life. I have no idea about anything. I showed up in a tutu for godsakes. I seriously doubt you should be taking advice from a life-size Skittle.”

  I feel Cole smile against the top of my head as I speak. He trails his finger along my arm. “I like your ass, and your elbows are lovely, Lamore. And—a secret between you and me—I actually think you know more than you let on. You see more than you let on, Anna. I love you. I want to hear what you think, and on this, you were right the other day.

  “That damn name carries a ton of baggage with it. Every time someone says Mr. Stevens, I think of my father. I wonder if I’m like him, even though I’ve tried so hard not to be. I thought I needed the reminder. I thought it guided me and helped shape me into who I am, and maybe it did, but I was thinking and realized that I don’t need it any more. I know who I am, with or without the name. And I want you, without all the crap that the Stevens name brings with it.”

  I turn on my side. There’s a pillow under Cole’s arm that is behind my head. I don’t know what he’s saying. I look at him and our eyes meet. “Cole?” My voice is light. The moment feels fragile. I watch Cole’s face, wondering what he’s thinking and can’t understand why he’s suddenly silent.

  His eyes lower, and when he lifts them again, they are completely vulnerable. “Anna Lamore, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to make you happy for the rest of your life. I want to hold you in my arms every night and see your face every morning. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours.” His eyes don’t leave mine. “Will you marry me, Anna?”

  Shock hits me in the head like a pail of ice water. “What?” I eloquently blurt out. I push my naked body up on his bed and look down at him. Sheets cover his lower body. Cole folds his hands behind his head and smiles at me.

  “Are you really that surprised, Miss Lamore? Did you really think that I only took you into my bed, but managed to keep you out of my heart?”

  My jaw is hanging open. I can’t breathe. I never expected a proposal. My lips press into a thin line and then lift into a smile. It’s like my face can’t decide if I should laugh or cry. “Are you serious?” I pull the sheet up, covering my chest.

  Cole pushes up onto his side. He reaches for the sheet and gently pulls it from my fingers. His eyes drink in my curves, before his gaze meets mine. “Completely. I can’t resist you, and if you say no, I’m afraid that I’ll have to keep asking until you say yes.” He leans over me and presses a kiss to my neck. His lips are so warm. I enjoy the sensation for a moment before my mind starts yelling at me to pay attention.

  “Until I say yes?”

  “Mmmmh,” he says, pressing another kiss to the back of my neck.

  I can’t think. I don’t want to think. I want to say yes, but fear won’t leave me alone. I try to be light, to joke to avoid answering right then. I shudder as his kiss presses to the back of my neck, right at that lust-inducing spot. “I might need some convincing,” I say in breathy voice.

  “I’d be happy to.” Cole doesn’t press me. Instead he continues his kisses down my back. I slip face-down on the bed and turn my head so I can see him. I clutch the pillow under my head as Cole lights my body on fire. His touch is electric, his kisses drip with sensuality. I can’t resist him. I know I can’t, and I don’t know why I feel like I have to.
I give in to his caresses, to his hands. He loves me and shows me. It’s more than I thought I’d ever get. I thought I’d have to settle for someone. Cole isn’t settling. He’s perfect, and yet, I notice that I couldn’t say yes to his proposal.

  _____

  The next morning Cole dresses quickly. He has a meeting with his lawyer and I have to show up for the hearing later in the afternoon. I don’t want to go, but it’s a necessary evil.

  Cole looks beautiful in his suit. The color is so dark that it makes his eyes look like sapphires. He straightens his tie as he looks at me sitting on his blue chair, with my robe barely covering me. “You make it impossible to leave, you know that, right?”

  I pull my knees to my chest and see his eyes follow the sweep of my bare hip. “I know.” My heart is racing at the thought of being alone. I’m afraid of the stalker. I wonder if he’s waiting for me, watching me. I don’t want Cole to leave, but I try to banish the crazy thoughts before they make me nuts. I’m not living my life like this. A bolt of determination strikes me and I try to tempt Cole into staying a little longer.

  A wicked grin crosses my lips. I stand and allow the robe to fall to the floor. Walking toward Cole, I wear nothing but a smile. Cole freezes. His eyes watch me move toward him. Tension lines his shoulders and spills down into his arms. God, that suit makes him look gorgeous. When I reach Cole, I thread my arms around his neck and gently kiss his lips. The feel soft and warm, completely perfect.

  Cole sucks in a breath and slowly releases it after the kiss. His eyes close as he does it. I step away, loving the effect I have on him. Cole smiles for a moment and then his eyes open. He looks me over and says, “I want you wearing that exact same outfit next time I see you.” Cole grins, winking at me before he starts to gather his things and move towards the front door.

  I laugh, following him. “I’m sure Sottero will appreciate a buck-naked Anna at court.”

  “I know I would,” he says, not looking back at me.

  I fold my arms across my chest and lean against the doorway. “Maybe I shouldn’t come today. I mean, she’s just going to try and use me against you—to prove whatever whacked point she’s trying to make.”

  Cole turns and meets my gaze. He only looks at my face, but I can tell he’s fighting the urge to let his eyes dip lower. “There’s no way for your testimony to support her claim since you weren’t there.”

  “But you were, and it doesn’t seem to matter what you say.” I wish I could make this go away. I can’t stand watching this happen to him.

  “I haven’t been fighting this, Anna, but now I intend to. I’m not letting it slide. I’m changing my name before my father’s attorney forces me to and I’m fighting back.” He looks at me for a moment. At first I think he’s asking me if it’s okay, and then I realize that he’s telling me. There’s no question in his voice. He knows what he wants. He knows what he’s doing and he’s informing me of his intentions.

  “There are some things that are worth fighting for.” He winks at me, repeating my words back to me. I nod and smile softly. I don’t want him to get hurt, but I think he’s made the right choice. I can’t hide it. Cole smiles at me. “Don’t do anything stupid. Keep the doors locked until you leave. Get in and out of your apartment as fast as possible. Stay out of alleys and abandoned buildings. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

  “Cole,” my voice catches. I step toward him, hesitant. “Do you think he can get in here?”

  “No, baby,” he shakes his head. “The doorman doesn’t let random people in, and your bike should be fine in the garage. No one can get in there either without the guard letting them through. There are a ton of cameras down there, too. Are you going to ride your motorcycle in later?”

  “I don’t know. Which is better? The bike or the train? I could end up in a car alone. With the bike, I’ll end up in the parking garage alone. I can park the bike on the street when I get there.” Goosebumps prickle my arms as I speak. I hate this. I’m altering my life because of this douche. I rub the bumps away, but the creeped-out feeling still lingers on my skin.

  “Take your bike. I’ll keep an eye out for you, and you better believe that if you’re a second late, that I’ll come looking for you.” I smile. Cole crosses the room and pulls me to his chest. He presses a kiss firmly to the top of my head and says, “No one will hurt you.”

  I nod as he pulls away. I watch Cole walk out the door and my pulse ticks up a notch. It nearly explodes when I shower. The scene from Psycho keeps playing through my mind in an endless loop. I watch the suds swirl down the drain and remember the ribbons of blood on the bottom of the tub from that movie. By the time I get out of the shower, I’ve nearly peed myself twice.

  “Stop it, Anna.” I say out loud, just to prove that I’m alone. The back of my neck won’t stop prickling. It feels like a ghost is breathing down my beck. I go to Cole’s stereo and turn it on, hoping that the noise will help. I blow out my damp hair and clip it back to the nape of my neck. I want to dress, but there’s nothing here. I’d already discussed this with Cole. Emma should be home and as long as she is, I’m going to grab my suit. If not, the backup plan is to buy another one. Maybe it’s a stupid time to be cheap, but I really want my suit. It fits me right and there’s no way I’m going to find another one in a few hours and make it to the courthouse on time.

  I call Emma, hoping she’s home. She picks up on the third ring. “Anna, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, Em. I’m fine. I’m at Cole’s. Are you okay?”

  “God!” she spews swear words at me like a drunk gremlin and then asks, “What the hell happened? Edward said an animal got in, and then James came by to make sure you were okay. He said you asked him if he saw someone leaving the apartment? Anna, what the hell is going on?”

  “Edward didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  Rage shot through me. I clenched my free hand and wanted to hurl the phone at the wall. “That someone got in yesterday? He was supposed to stay with you last night. Did he—”

  She cut me off, “Yeah, he stayed, but he didn’t tell me crap. He just said that he wasn’t leaving. The ass slept on the couch all night. He was really tense, so of course, we fought like crazy. Then, when I tried to call you, you didn’t answer.” Em breathes, trying to steady her tirade. “How’d you know someone got inside?”

  My veins fill with ice when she asks the question. The red letters flash in my mind. I steady my voice. “Because they wrote something on my mirror with my lipstick—‘whore.’” My voice is too soft. I can’t hide how much this is freaking me out. Emma is silent. I expected that she’d be spewing foul words, but she says nothing. “Em?”

  “Sorry, Anna. Oh my God. I didn’t know.” She coughs and clears her through. It sounds normal when she speaks again. “Do you think it was a fluke? Like a random break-in or something.”

  I want to say yes, but I know it’s not. I can feel it. “No, it’s not random. I’ve felt like I’ve been watched for a while now. Some nights, I would have sworn someone was following me, but I never saw anyone. Then this happened. Anyway, I wanted you to know. Our apartment isn’t safe. Neither of us should be there alone.”

  “Edward said the same thing. He wouldn’t leave. I thought he was just being an ass. Damn, Anna. I had no idea. What do we do?”

  “I don’t know. I told you, Cole, and Edward. I guess we just hope that the guy stops. It’s not like I can get a restraining order or something. There’s nothing to report.”

  “There was no broken glass?”

  “No.”

  “How’d he get in?”

  I shrug and shift the phone to my other ear. “I don’t know. I’m assuming he got in the same way the raccoon did—through the chimney—but I don’t know.” That doesn’t make sense, but then again, neither does anything else. “I need to run by there to grab a suit. I have to appear for Sottero later today and I don’t have anything here. Any chance that you’re still home?”

  “
Yeah. I’m still here. Come by and get what you need. I’ll wait for you.”

  I pull on my clothes and race down to the garage to grab my bike. When I enter the parking lot, I look around longer than usual and then try my best not to run. My skin prickles again and my entire body is covered in goosebumps. No one is there. Anger rushes through me, but it’s not enough to choke back the fear.

  I have the key in hand and have already strapped my helmet onto my head. As I get closer, I see something on the seat. The seat is black, but there is something on top of the leather that looks like a black tissue. When I’m a foot from the bike, I recognize what it is. My spine goes straight and my heart jerks to a stop. My eyes go wide as I stare at my favorite pair of black panties that went missing. They are tucked under the seat strap. I’m so creeped-out that I don’t want to sit on the bike. I glance at the guard in the booth and then back at my bike, at the panties. Someone took them. Someone found me here and put them on my bike, on the seat, where I’d be sure to find them. My heart is racing like a scared rabbit. The trembling in my hands is spilling into my stomach in icy waves. I feel sick, like I’m going to puke. Anger bubbles into the mix. I’m angry that someone is doing this to me. I’m angry that he got so close and I didn’t notice. How could I be so stupid?

  I refuse to let this ass get to me. I whip my head around, feeling the blood coursing through me like a bottle of shaken champagne. I feel wired. If he steps out of the shadows now, I’ll rip his eyes out with my nails. My muscles tense, waiting for someone to appear, but no one materializes. No one claims the fear that ignited within me. I’m alone.

  I take the panties and stuff them under the seat. I kickstart the bike and peel out, leaving skid marks behind. I speed all the way home.