"I thought you liked this kind of torture," I whispered between kisses.
"I do, sweetheart," he said, his voice thick with desire. I raised my head and met his eyes. They had darkened with lust to a deep midnight blue, and I was helpless to resist as they pulled me in. He crushed his lips against mine with a groan of need. He kissed me thoroughly and deeply, my toes practically curling up in my shoes. I was left panting and wanting when he finally tore his lips away from mine. I whined with disappointment as he turned my torture around on me.
He let out a sexy laugh that made things clench down low in my pelvis. "We have to go, Natalie, but we can pick this back up when I bring you home later. Okay?"
"But I want your cock in my mouth," I whined, hoping to get a reaction as I lowered my arms and ran my fingers along the waistband of his jeans.
He growled and narrowed his eyes at me. "Nice try," he said with a smirk. "I'm thinking that you need a lesson in what torture really is, sweetheart. I'm going to fuck that pretty mouth of yours when we get home, then torture you with orgasm denial for hours before I finally let you come."
"David." His name came out of me with a needy whine, and his smile widened with triumph. I knew he had already won, but I couldn't help trying again. "You're just going to torture yourself right along with me."
"I know, Natalie," he said sensuously as he pressed his cock against me again. "That's half the fun."
I glared at him. "You are the most sadistic man I have ever met, David Mazur."
"And you love it, Natalie Spencer." He pulled my lower lip into his mouth and sank his teeth into it with a growl, then soothed it with a gentle kiss.
"Jerk," I mumbled as he stepped away from me. He shrugged unapologetically.
"Come on, sweetheart," he reached his hand out to me. "We need to get going."
I snorted in feigned disgust as I took his hand. He smiled wickedly as he led me out of my apartment.
When we arrived at Jensen and Sydney's condo, Jensen greeted us at the door and ushered us in. When we walked into the kitchen, Sydney was just putting dinner on the table.
"Perfect timing," she said with a wide smile when she saw us enter the room. Jensen took our jackets and put them in the closet down the hall. Then we all took a seat and settled in to eat. The meal and conversation were enjoyable, like they always were here.
After eating, the guys volunteered to clean up and Sydney caught my eye with a meaningful glance. I nodded. We had a lot to discuss, and since I didn't have a clue what to do about Paige, I was hoping that she had an idea. I followed her out of the kitchen and across the living room. She told me about a Youtube video she wanted to show me on the computer as she led me up the stairs. I was fairly certain that was a ruse to fool the boys and give us a reason to go upstairs.
"Has she called you?" I asked Sydney quietly as we walked into the spare bedroom.
"No." She shook her head. "I haven't heard anything from her." Syd sat in the desk chair and motioned to a stool near Jensen's guitars.
I sat down with a heavy sigh. "Great," I grumbled under my breath. "I feel so guilty about keeping this from David." I felt sick inside just talking about it. "Maybe we should let this go. If Paige doesn't want our help, what can we do?"
"If she didn't want help, then why did she reach out to David?"
"But she said she just wanted to apologize to him."
"I don't buy that as her only reason for one second." Syd said firmly. "There has got to be more to it then that."
"Do you think she wants him back?" I asked uncertainly. That idea pissed me off and worried me.
"Maybe, or she just wants him to help her." She shrugged. "She always knew how to get what she wanted from him. She used his love for her against him, and he let her get away with it all the time. He loved her and only saw the good in her. I've never seen anyone who could live in denial like David."
"She sounds like a horrible person, to take advantage of someone's love like that."
"Paige wasn't horrible, just self-centered. If something didn't effect her directly, it didn't really matter to her."
"That sounds pretty horrible to me," I said in disgust.
"I know this sounds hard to believe now, but Paige was my friend, even if she wasn't perfect. She did love David. I know that. I think she let fear, and her own selfishness get in her way. That doesn't excuse what she ended up doing to David, but that doesn't mean we should just ignore the bad situation she's in. No matter how tempting it is."
Syd was right, but that didn't change the resentment and bad feelings that both of us had toward Paige. "So what should we do now? Should we tell David?" I didn't like that idea, but my guilt was starting to eat me up inside.
"I think we should go talk to Paige again before we tell David anything, it will just upset him if nothing comes of it," she suggested in resignation. "We need to find out more about this Aiden asshole that's been beating on her, and try to convince her to let us help get her and her baby out of this abusive situation, before it's too late."
"That's not fucking happening!" We both jumped and looked toward the open doorway to see Jensen standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked livid as his flashing green eyes fixed on his wife. I felt my face flush with guilt. Shit. "There is no way in fucking hell that I'm letting you do that." He stepped into the room, his angry gaze settling on both of us, and it was intimidating as hell.
Sydney stood, returning his glare with one of her own as she pointed at him. "You don't get to tell me what to do." Even though he was almost a foot taller than her, she didn't even flinch when his glare hardened, and he leaned into her personal space.
"You don't get to put yourself in harm's way by being an idiot." Jensen's voice came out in a low rasping growl.
"This is none of your business," she told him in a harsh tone. "And how dare you spy on me and eavesdrop on a private conversation."
"Really?" he asked incredulously. "You think that I was spying on you? Unbelievable." He shook his head in exasperation.
"What were you doing up here, then?" Now Sydney crossed her arms stubbornly. I wisely kept my mouth shut as I watched their exchange.
"I came up here to get a clean fucking shirt after I got food on it." He pointed to a dark spot on the front of his T-shirt. "I didn't come up here to talk behind my best friend's back and keep secrets from him." That remark got a reaction from Syd. Her face blushed pink with guilt and embarrassment. Her anger evaporated as quickly as it had appeared.
"You don't understand, Jensen," she said in a more reasonable tone. "I..."
"What I understand," he interrupted, "is that secrets and lies are what almost destroyed me and our relationship." Syd's mouth snapped shut after that statement. "And I'm not going to let either of you fuck up your relationships with David." He glanced over at me, his face stern and uncompromising. "Either you girls tell him what's going on, or I will. It's your choice." His eyes focused on his wife again as he waited for our answer.
An unexpected wave of relief flooded me. Deep down, I knew keeping this from David was wrong all along, and I was grateful that Jensen was forcing us to tell him. I knew David would be angry with Sydney and me, but his anger; I could live with. What I couldn't live with, was him leaving me again. I just hoped my lapse in judgment didn't earn me both.
Chapter Seven
David
I glanced up from the now full dishwasher to see Natalie and Sydney walk into the kitchen with sheepish expressions on their faces. Jensen followed behind them with his arms crossed and a stern look in his eyes.
"You guys look awfully serious," I said suspiciously as I closed the dishwasher and straightened. The girls shared an uncomfortable glance then looked back at me. Silence stretched on for a few moments. My suspicion turned into dread. "What the hell is going on?" I looked over at Jensen, my voice sounding tense.
"The girls have something to share with you," he growled out in annoyance as he glared at them. I looked at Natalie and
Syd expectantly, and when they still didn't say anything, Jensen spoke again. "Go on. Either you talk or I do."
Natalie took a small step forward, her face pained and afraid. "While...while you were on your run on Sunday, Paige came to your house."
"What?" I asked in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me that?" Irritation colored my words.
She looked down at the floor. "I...I didn't want to upset you or make you angry."
I sighed as understanding dawned on me. I treated her terribly almost every time the subject of Paige came up between us. I couldn't fault her for keeping it to herself. I was fairly certain I would have been upset and pissed off just like she thought I would be. It made me feel like an asshole, that she chose to keep things from me because of my shitty behavior the last week or so. I felt ashamed of myself.
"Natalie." I took a step forward and stretched out a hand to her. "It's okay. I'm not angry about that."
She took a step back, her face twisting with shame. "There's more, David."
"Okay..." I trailed off and let my arm fall back to my side. I had a really bad feeling in my gut that I wasn't going to like this at all.
"I...I asked for Syd's number, so I could ask her to go confront Paige with me."
"What?!" I asked as anger flared to life inside me. "Please tell me that you didn't actually go see her." I glanced over at Syd, and she looked away. I looked at Natalie again, but she just stared at the floor in silence. I guess that answered my question. "Are you fucking kidding me? Why the hell would you do that behind my back? I asked you to let this go, and you agreed." I turned away, my hands clenched into fists as my anger grew inside me. I felt betrayed and hurt. I clamped my mouth shut, afraid of what I might say next as the anger intensified inside me.
"I wanted to tell her to leave you alone and stop hurting you, but..." She trailed off uncomfortably and fell silent.
"Spit it out, Natalie," I snapped at her after a moment.
"She had bruises on her face and arms, David," Natalie whispered. My head snapped around in her direction.
"What?" I whispered in surprise.
"I saw them too." Sydney finally spoke, her eyes meeting mine. "We think her fiance is abusing her, and she needs our help."
My mouth hung open in surprise. A maelstrom of emotions exploded inside me. I felt anger at their betrayal, sympathy and worry for Paige, satisfaction that in some way Paige was getting what she deserved, then shame over that thought and my own heartlessness. The anger won out.
"What makes any of you think I give a fuck what happens to Paige now?" I snarled, knowing what I said was utter bullshit, but I didn't want to feel anything for Paige again, even if it was only sympathy. "She made her fucking bed, and she can lie in it."
"What about her baby?" Syd asked incredulously.
"She didn't give a fuck about mine, why should I care what happens to it?" I sounded like a damn monster, but I was grasping desperately onto the shreds of my denial and didn't care.
"She told us that she wanted to apologize to you for what happened," Natalie said quietly.
I laughed bitterly. "Well, that fixes everything. I feel better already." I spit out sarcastically. Like a damn apology could even begin to make up for what Paige did to me.
David," Syd said in a scolding tone. "Paige needs help. Her innocent unborn baby needs help. You can't actually be serious about not caring about that. What is wrong with you?"
I felt something snap inside me as my anger ignited into blinding rage. I took a step forward, my body shaking violently. "What's wrong with me?! You two go behind my back and keep secrets from me, and ask what's wrong with me?!"
"Well, maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass for once in your life and dealt with this yourself, we wouldn't have had to keep it from you," Sydney retorted angrily.
I ground my teeth as I seethed inside. The rage finally boiled over and spilled out of my mouth in a harsh vicious snarl. "Fuck Paige. Fuck her damn baby, and fuck all of you!"
I surged forward, past all three of their shocked faces, and made it down the stairs to the front door before one of them came after me. I heard footsteps at the top of stairs behind me as I jerked the door open.
"David!" Natalie pleaded my name, but I didn't stop or respond at all. I was still too angry to trust myself to be civil with her. I had to leave before I said something to Natalie that I would regret. Her betrayal burned harshly in my chest, even though I knew she had done it to protect me. I needed to be alone right now, so that I could get a grip on the riot of emotions swirling inside my head.
I made it to my car when I heard Natalie's voice again. "David, please don't leave me again." Her voice was a broken plea filled with desperation and pain. It made me pause with my hand on the car's door handle. I looked up to see her over the roof of my car, staring at me from the passenger side of the Audi. Tears were streaming down her face, and the sight made a sharp pain stab through my chest, but the rage won out again. I clenched my mouth shut, to stifle the harsh words about trust and betrayal that I was afraid would come out, instead of the reassuring words that I really wanted to say. And to be truthful with myself, I wasn't sure if I was leaving her or not at this point. I wasn't sure of anything.
I broke our eye contact and opened the car door as she pleaded out my name again. I ignored her as I closed the door, started the car, and backed out of the driveway. I stared straight ahead as I drove away, not wanting to see that hurt look on Natalie's face again. Especially, since a sick petty part of me was happy that it was there. Syd was right. What was wrong with me?
*********
My mistake was a monumental one. I thought that I could let myself love again, and still keep all of my other emotions at bay. I thought that I could crack the door to my heart open just wide enough to love Natalie, and that the storm of pain and anger I carried would stay on the other side. I didn't think that my other emotions would slam into that damn door and blast it open the rest of the way, letting it all out in a tidal wave that I couldn't force back in once it was out.
It was all flooding through me now as I drove mindlessly through town. I was so angry and hurt, by my memories of Paige, and how Syd and Natalie had gone behind my back. It was none of their damn business. Why couldn't they let me deal with this the way I needed to, the only way I knew how? I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel. Everything was spiraling out of control again, and I didn't know what to do.
The sudden flash of headlights and the blare of a horn caught my attention. I slammed on my breaks just before pulling out in front of an SUV. The sudden spike of adrenaline gave me a moment of clarity, and I realized that I probably shouldn't be driving right now. I hit the gas when the intersection was clear, and pulled into the first parking lot that I saw. I ended up in a strip mall and jerked to a halt in a parking space close to the building. I put the Audi in park and sat there trying to catch my breath.
I swore and closed my eyes, trying to reel back in the tattered remnants of my composure. I focused on my breathing like I needed to, breathing in through my nose and out of my mouth, until I felt myself start to calm down. Driving around angry like this was almost as bad as driving drunk. I knew better than this, but I'd been acting like a dumbass. I couldn't think straight when my anger got the better of me. I needed to shove it back down again and get a grip on myself.
I still felt lost when I finally managed to calm down. I knew I should probably go back to Syd's and talk to them, but I didn't think I could be civil if I saw Syd or Natalie right now. The pain of their betrayal twisted in my gut again. I should probably just go home, but the thought of sitting there alone didn't appeal to me at all.
Noise caught my attention, and I opened my eyes to see an older woman walking past my passenger side. She reminded me of Baba. She glanced at me and smiled as she walked by. I just stared at her. I knew what I needed to do now, who I needed to go see. I needed some tough love, and some sound advice. I knew just the person to give it to me.
&nbs
p; I put the car back into drive, and made my way back onto the road. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled to a stop in the driveway of my mother's house. I knew that Mom and Joe were out of town, but I hoped Baba would be home tonight. There was still a light on inside, and I sighed with relief.
I climbed out of my car and rushed to the front door. I jabbed at the doorbell and waited a few moments for the door to open. Baba's face lit up with delight when she saw that it was me, then her eyes turned to concern when she focused on my face.
"Are you alright, David?" she asked as she reached out a hand to me.
"No, Baba," I shook my head jerkily, my voice breaking a little. "Not at all." No matter how old I was, if I was upset, I knew she'd be here for me. I took her hand and let her pull me into an embrace. Her arms were familiar and comforting, and just what I needed.
She stepped back and placed a hand on the side of my face. She looked up and studied me closely for a moment, then patted my cheek. "Come in," she said softly. "I'll make you some hot cocoa."
I nodded gratefully, and she took my hand, leading me into the house. I felt like I was a little boy again, but this time it wasn't a scraped up knee or a bad day at school. The hot chocolate wouldn't solve my problems, but it certainly couldn't hurt.
She motioned to the dining table, and I took a seat with a deep sigh. I watched Baba across the long counter separating the kitchen from the dining area. She hummed a Ukrainian lullaby that she used to sing to me when I was little as she made my cocoa. I closed my eyes, and let the familiar melody wash over me and calm me down. I felt like I could finally breathe again. There was no pressure here, no expectations that I had to live up to. I could just be me.
You Are My Love: Breathless Book 2 Page 12
