be the most
heed your call
live your life
use your gift
then you'll feel
your spirit lift
don't hold back
from all you get
go all out
no regret
cm
Seven
Thursday, September 23
(HIGHS AND LOWS)
Eric took Willy out for a little consultation after he listened to us play. I could tell something was wrong.
“Did I blow it?” asked Laura after the guys left.
I shrugged, avoiding her eyes. “I don't know.”
“Well, we sure weren't very good,” said Allie. I could tell by her flushed cheeks that she was really frustrated.
“You mean I wasn't very good,” Laura said with what looked like tears in her eyes.
“Don't beat yourself up.” I was trying to sound soothing, but I'm afraid I sounded mad.
Laura unplugged her bass. “I should just quit.”
“Yeah, that'd be just great,” Allie said as she hit the cymbal hard. “You quit and we're finished. Our illustrious music career will be shorter than the one-hit wonders.”
Laura sat on a folding metal chair and held her head in her hands. “I'm so sorry, you guys.”
She was crying now. I went over and stood next to her, putting my hand on her shoulder as I tossed Allie a look that said, 'Get over here this minute.”
“I think we need to pray,” I said.
“Yeah, come to think of it, we've been getting a little lax about that,” said Allie as she came over to join us.
And right there in the practice room Allie and I both asked God to help us. We prayed that He would touch Laura and give her whatever she needed to finish this thing.
“We're here to bring You glory, God,” I prayed with heartfelt urgency. “We want to be Your instruments. Please, help us to continue using our gifts. And use us to get Your message out.”
“Amen,” said Allie.
“Amen.” Laura looked up and wiped her eyes. “I think I'm going to do better now.”
“Really?”
She nodded with a look of determination. Just then Eric and Willy returned.
“Eric has some concerns,” said Willy.
I took in a quick breath and focused my eyes on Eric. I knew what was coming. He was about to announce that our contract had been dissolved. Redemption was no more.
“I realize you girls have been working really hard,” began Eric. “And itfs difficult getting up to speed when you're just starting out. It's natural to struggle with all the demands of your schedule and performances. And all that stress can even affect your music, but—”
“It's all my fault!” Laura exclaimed. I'm? so sorry. I haven't been—”
“I'm not here to point the finger at anyone,” continued Eric. “I just want you to know that I understand how it goes.”
“But it's not Ghloe and Allie.” Laura folded her arms across her chest. “I'm the one dragging the band down.”
Eric nodded. “That might be true. But the fact is, it takes all three of you being at your best to make it in this profession.”
“I know that,” said Laura. “We were just praying about it, and I feel certain that everything is going to change.”
Eric didn't seem convinced. “Look, it's not like we're going to cancel your contract oir anything. I just think maybe you're not ready to open for—”
“Ve are ready!” demanded Laura. “I feel like something has really clicked in for me. Won't you at least give us a chance?”
“It's not that I don't want you to have a chance, Laura. I don't want to risk introducing you to the public when you're not, well, when you're not at your best.”
“But I can do this.” Laura was getting that old stubborn look in her eyes again, and I began to feel a little bit hopeful. “Honest, I know that I can do this. Everything will be different tomorrow night. I promise.”
Eric looked torn as he held his hands up in the air. “I don't know what to do.”
“Can't you let us try?” I asked. “I know Laura well enough to believe that if she says she can do something, then she can.”
“Are you willing to risk Redemption's reputation with a bad opening?”
I glanced at Laura to see a spark in her eyes then said, “I don't think it will be a risk.”
“How about you, Allie?” asked Eric. “You've been awfully quiet.”
She nodded. “I'm with Ghloe. I don't think it'll be a risk either.”
He carefully studied all three of us. “You're absolutely certain about this?”
We all nodded in unison.
“How about you, Willy? Think they can pull this off?”
Willy grinned. “I know they can.”
Eric blew out a long sigh. “Okay, it's settled. I just hope it's not a mistake.”
“It isn't,” Laura assured him. “Things are going to be different from now on.”
I hope and pray that she's right.
“So, are you girls ready to meet the guys?” Eric asked as he glanced at his watch.
“You mean Iron Cross?” said Laura with wide eyes.
He nodded.
“Don't we get to go clean up and change our clothes first?” Allie frowned as she looked down at her white T-shirt with its mustard stain from lunch still slopped down the front.
“0f course. Why don't you meet us downstairs at six-thirty.”
So we rushed back to our rooms and spent the next hour trying to look presentable. Between the three of us we must've tried on fourteen different Beanie Jacobs outfits, fortunately, we were so obsessed with our appearances that we didn't have time to discuss what had almost happened today. I ended up wearing a black velvet skirt with my purple Doc Martens and a retro top with beads and fringe. I think I looked pretty hot. Allie wore a short lace dress from the sixties that Beanie had found at a flea market; she paired this with her tall lace-up boots.
“Vhere's Laura?” asked Allie as she put on some pale pink lipstick.
“She had to go down to the RV to get a pair of shoes.” I held up a tube of dark purple lipstick. “What d'ya think of this color?”
“Ooh, I think it'll look hot on you.”
Finally Laura came back. She had on a sleeveless lime green dress and matching sandals. “What do you think?” she said as she turned around for our inspection.
Allie pressed her lips together then nodded. “Very cool.”
Elise and Davie decided to forego the dinner. “Davie spent too much time at the pool today,” she explained. “He's got a sunburn and really needs to go to bed.”
“Are you sure, Mora?” asked Allie. Although I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was relieved. I'm sure she thought she'd appear much more grown-up without her mother along.
Elise nodded. “I know you'll be in good hands with Willy.”
As soon as the elevator door closed, Allie burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.
“Get ahold of yourself, girl,” I told her.
“You're going to embarrass us,” warned Laura.
“I can't help it,” Allie sputtered. “I'm so excited that I think I'm going to literally burst—just splatter all over this elevator.”
To our relief, Allie finally managed to control herself just as we stepped into the lobby.
“Okay,” she said, holding her head at that cocky little angle as she slipped on her sunglasses and put on her sophisticated smile.
“You're really going to wear those shades to meet them?”
She nodded. “It's who I am, Ghloe.”
Now I started giggling. Laura jabbed me with her elbow as we walked across the lobby to where Willy and Eric and four very good-looking guys were waiting. Ve were formally introduced to Jeremy and Isaiah Baxter. Jeremy is the older brother at twenty-one and Isaiah is eighteen. The other two guys, Brett James and Michael White, are nineteen and twenty, respectively. They've been playing together for
about five years.
I was so nervous that it was hard to eat dinner, and I'm afraid I didn't speak very much. I hope the guys don't think I'm a complete idiot. To my surprise and relief, Allie and Laura both did a good job of keeping the conversation going.
“Chloe's the songwriter,” Allie said with what seemed like honest pride. I smiled at her, thankful that she was helping me not to look like a total fool.
“Yeah,” said Laura. “She's got a notebook full of songs we haven't even recorded yet.”
“Jeremy writes most of our stuff,” said Michael.
Jeremy put his hand on his brother's shoulder. “Hey, Isaiah's been turning out some pretty great lyrics lately.”
“But it's hard to compete with big bro.” Isaiah poked his brother in the arm.
“Redemption has a great sound,” said Jeremy. “We've been playing your CD a lot.”
I felt like I was about to faint just then. Ifot that I've ever been a fainter before, but hearing Jeremy Baxter from Iron Gross say that they've been playing our CD was just way too much.
Fortunately for me, we called it an early night. I'm really not sure how much more I could've taken. I mean, these guys are totally cool. I know they're just normal human beings like the rest of us, but I must admit to feeling totally starstruck tonight.
Even as I sit here by the window and write down these words, I feel like pinching myself. Is this real or is it all a dream? I feel higher than a kite right now, and I'm worried that I'll never be able to go to sleep tonight. Laura took one of her “magic pills” and is already sacked out and actually snoring. As usual, she and I are sharing a room. Is Allie as wired as I feel? I'd go over and knock on her door, but I'd probably disturb Elise and Davie. So I simply sit here and bask in the mere wonder of it all.
And I refuse to think about the possibility that it could all blow up in our faces tomorrow. Instead, I pray that Laura keeps her word, that God performs some kind of amazing miracle, and that Redemption plays better than ever before and Iron Gross is totally jazzed to have us for their warm-up band. Hey, it could happen.
HIGH HOPES my heart is so light
i feel i can fly
like a midnight star
across the sky
i'll dance with the moon
and float on a cloud
i'll play a new tune
and praise God aloud
cm
Eight
Friday, September 24
(THE BIG NIGHT)
All day long I have been nothing but a great big pile of jumping, jittering, jangling nerves. I honestly felt as though I could've taken up smoking today—now, how lame is that? But it's like I needed something to do to distract myself, something to calm me down. Naturally, I prayed a lot, but there were times when my prayers sounded slightly crazy, even to me. It's a good thing that God can see straight into our hearts when we speak to Him. I'm pretty sure He can sort the whole thing out.
We started out the day with a morning practice, which was absolutely and unequivocally rotten. Laura was barely awake and pretty grouchy, and Allie kept getting on her case until Laura started crying and saying she was hopeless and useless and why didn't we just kick her out of the band. We finally ended up quitting early and going our own separate ways. Willy didn't say a single word. I think he was feeling pretty freaked. I know I was.
Then later this afternoon, it seemed as if something just snapped in Laura. I mean, a good kind of snapping. It's like she suddenly came back to her old self. Only way more so! Ibr the first time in weeks, she was animated and happy and really excited about the concert. I think it was God's answer to our desperate prayers—a real walking and talking miracle.
And when we stepped onto that stage tonight, I felt totally stoked and energized, like: “Yeah, we can do this!” And man, did we ever! Redemption rocked! I think it was our best concert of all times. I know I was totally blown away by the sound. Laura and Allie were really hot, and we were all just jiving together like we used to, only better. It was so incredibly cool. And the crowd really seemed to like us too. We even got encored. Later on when we were signing CDs, Jeremy told us that Iron Cross was getting worried, thinking it wouldtft be long before they would be opening for us. Ha. Now that'd be the day.
Anyway, I was so relieved that we didn't blow it, I would've settled for an okay performance. But this was something way better. Laura was so happy afterward that she broke down and cried again. Only these tears, I'm certain, were pure relief.
“You did it!” Eric said when he caught up with us backstage between the shows. “Praise God! You girls really did it!”
We were so jazzed that we wanted to go out to celebrate. Eric hired a limo to take us, along with Rosy, Willie, Elise, and Davie, to an all-night ice cream shop, where we ordered the works and totally porked out. I think this has been one of the best nights of ray entire life. Really, can it get any better?
Tomorrow we head out, actually touring with Iron Cross. Thanks be to God, we passed our initiation test—now let the fun begin!
Still being somewhat of a realist, I fully understand that anything could go wrong, even now. That little episode with Laura was enough to knock us out of the concert circuit for good. But I'm? not going to worry about it tonight. I'm going to trust God to continue taking care of us— I know He can get us where we need to go. And Laura has assured everyone that she's going to be fine from here on out. She said that it was just a temporary funk but that she has everything under control now. And I believe her since it seems like she's totally back to her old self— even better!
PRAISE GOD
just when i wanted to pull my hair out
You came through
like You promised You would
just when i thought the morning wouldn't come
You showed up
and brought the sun with You
just when it seemed like it was all over
You started it up again
with Your freshness and life
i praise You, my God
i thank You for miracles
and i trust You with whatever comes next
amen
Thursday, September 30
(SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SALT DIEGO AND TUCSON)
We did our second concert with Iron Gross last night in San Diego, and it went just as well as the first one. Maybe even better. The best part of the whole evening was when we got to hang with these guys after the crowd was gone. I think what surprises me most is how these guys come across as just ordinary guys, like you might know from school or whatever. Well, in an extraordinary way, I guess, because they all seem so spiritually mature to me. I suppose they should be since they've been Christians a lot longer than I have. (Jeremiah and Isaiah grew up in a strong Christian home.) Also they've had a pretty successful band for nearly five years, and I'm sure that helped them to grow up. But even so, they're not full of themselves and don't have that “rock star” mentality. They're cool.
“So what do you think of all this?” asked Isaiah as we sat around backstage just eating chips and drinking sodas.
Mow, as I'm recording all this in my diary, which could be made into a movie someday (okay, I may be slightly delusional), I wonder how I would describe these handsome guys. Well, first off, Isaiah is really good-looking, with dark brown eyes and short dark hair with long sideburns. But there's something else about him that's hard to describe. Kaybe it's like charisma or personality. But when they're all onstage he almost seems to sparkle. Of course, I wouldn't say that to him. I mean, what guy wants to think he sparkles?
Anyway, he plays a really mean keyboard and almost makes me wish we had someone else in our band to play keyboard for us, but I'm getting distracted. Mow Isaiah and his brother Jeremy look quite a bit alike, but Jeremy's hair is long and he wears it pulled back in a tail. Also he sports a pretty cool goatee, which makes him look older (and he is). He's quieter than Isaiah and lots more serious. Jeremy plays guitar.
“All this what?”
asked Laura with a twinkle in her eye in response to Isaiah's question.
Isaiah held out his hands and grinned. “All this rock star glamour and prestige.”
We all paused to look around the messy dressing room with its beat-up couches and old vinyl chairs, and then we just laughed.
“Pretty impressive,”I said as I reached for a handful of sour cream chips.
“Some performers would have a total hissy fit about a place like this,” said Brett James. He's the drummer and has this really great smile and blond-tipped hair.
“What do you mean?” asked Allie, and I hoped she wasn't getting any prima donna ideas. “What would they do?”
“Some performers get details about dressing rooms written right into their contracts,” Brett continued. “Like they have to get nice furniture and fresh flowers and specific kinds of food and all kinds of stuff.”
“You're kidding,” I said. “Do they really get it?”
“If they've got big enough names.”
“Well—” I rolled my eyes—“we won't have to worry about that.”
“Oh, I don't know,” said Allie, getting that dreamy diva look in her eyes.
I firmly shook my head. “No way. Besides, even if we ever did get to be a big name like, say, Iron Gross, I think it would be really lame to act that demanding.”
Jeremy nodded. “That's how we feel too.”
“Yeah,” agreed Isaiah. “It's fun having folks cater to you, but we try to remember that we're here to serve.”
“That's been a big part of our ministry,” said Michael. He'd been pretty quiet most of the evening. He has extremely curly reddish hair that's cut short. He plays bass but, with his lanky arms and legs, looks as if he'd be more comfortable on a basketball court. That is, until, you seeing him getting down on his bass. Then he totally looks like a musician.
“The thing is,” continued Jeremy. “Like Isaiah said, we really do believe that God gave us our gifts to serve others. And that helps keep everything else in perspective.”
“Not that some people don't forget sometimes.” Isaiah glanced over at Brett.
“Yeah, yeah.” Brett shrugged. “I'm only human, you know. Sometimes it's fun to enjoy the stardom a little.”
Road Trip Page 4
