Wayne raked a hand through his hair. “He hasn’t wanted to be a part of the ranch in years.”
“And yet, he’s a Vance. Same as you. You don’t work the ranch.”
“But I’m here when shit goes south.” He frowned. “Sorry for the language. Carter always rubbed me the wrong way.”
“The three of you grew up here—you, Daniel, and Carter.”
“And all of us left. But I didn’t head to another continent.”
Melanie crossed her arms. “Look, I’m not going to talk about Carter’s plans. I don’t have a clue what they are.”
He gave her a thin smile. “That wasn’t the only reason I came. I wondered whether you’d given my invitation some more thought.” She began to shake her head, but he held up a hand. “Don’t say no. Just think about it. And I only asked for a date. We make sense, Melanie. You have to think about Emmy.”
That’s all she’d been doing—thinking about the little girl and her future. When her grandfather passed, Melanie didn’t know how things would settle, whether they’d still have a home, although Carter, Sr. had promised there’d always be a place here for both of them. In the end, Lee would be in charge of ranch business, not something he was fond of. But there wasn’t a younger man to pass the torch to. He was already hinting about finding a foreman who could manage the place.
And when Lee was gone, what then? Wayne had no interest, had already hinted broadly to his dad, to her, that they ought to sell up while they still could. While the ranch was successful.
“You keep saying we make sense. Why?” she asked, wanting him to be blunt, to lay it all out there, because she knew he wasn’t that interested in her. He hadn’t been all that happy when she’d first been installed at the ranch to care for Emmy. She’d never forgotten his initial coldness, although he’d warmed to her over time. Likely because he believed her malleable. Someone he could influence. He sold real estate for a living. Was successful at it. He believed in his own charm, but Melanie hated to admit it, she didn’t like him. Not one bit. Only she was older than Emmy, and knew her place—she couldn’t give him the stink-eye, although sometimes, she certainly wanted to.
Like now. Because his cheeks were flushed, and he looked frustrated that she wasn’t falling in with his plans, whatever they were. Did he think they should date? Marry? Did he think that because her face was scarred that she couldn’t possibly do any better? She still remembered the way he’d stared at it when she’d first come, looking fascinated and repelled. Surgery had taken care of its thick, jagged texture, but the scar was still there. An imperfection she guessed he couldn’t abide. And yet, he thought there should be a “we”…
Melanie suppressed a shiver.
His gaze rose and bored into hers. “Just be careful. Carter’s not the staying around kind. Don’t go thinking he will—for Emmy or for you.”
Fury blazed through her, making her back stiffen and her face freeze.
“Seems like you’re talking to the wrong person,” came Carter’s deep-timbered voice from the doorway. “Only person who knows my intentions is me, cuz.”
Wayne shot up from his seat. His ready smile seemed forced. “Melanie has to plan for the future. I just wanted to let her know, I’ll be there for her.”
“Funny way to show it,” Melanie muttered.
Wayne drew a deep breath then stepped toward her, reaching for her hand.
She wanted to snatch it away, but Carter was watching, and she didn’t want the men to come to blows, so she gave Wayne an equally insincere smile. “It warms my heart that you’re so concerned. Thanks for dropping by. Will you be seeing Papa before you go?”
He glanced at his watch and shook his head regretfully. “I have clients to meet. Give him my regards.”
“Certainly,” she said, with no intentions of doing so. Despite the fact Wayne was blood, Carter, Sr. had never appeared to like his nephew all that much.
“Well, think about my invitation,” Wayne said, giving her hand a squeeze. “Carter,” he said giving the other man a nod, and then he stepped off the porch.
Melanie trained her gaze straight ahead as he left.
Carter strode closer then went down on his haunches in front of her. “Was he bothering you?”
“I can take care of myself. Have been.”
His blue eyes, so alert and focused, studied her. “Not what I asked, but good to know.”
“He had a point to make. He made it.”
Carter’s mouth thinned. “Wayne and me, we’ve never been close.”
“Same could be said for you and the rest of the family as well.”
“You and me were close.”
“For a minute.” She met his gaze, and she hoped like hell he didn’t see the hurt inside her. He hadn’t lied to her. He’d told her they’d never be anything. The fact she’d held on to his memory was something she beat herself up about often enough. But every man paled in comparison. Why the hell had she ever sought him out? She’d have been better off not knowing how hot passion could flare. How long hope could survive. She’d been stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
And yet…staring into his eyes, she felt as though she was ready to go there again. To taste forbidden fruit. She was older, but evidently no wiser. She’d subsisted on stories of his youth. Of his daring. Stories told by his father and Lee, told in poignant, disappointed tones, because Carter had left things so undone when he’d escaped the Rocking V.
“I don’t want to disappoint you again, Mel.”
Her breath caught. It was as though he’d read her mind. “How can you disappoint me when my expectations are so low?”
He drew a deep, sharp breath then stood.
Her cheeks flushed. She hadn’t intended to be mean-spirited. To hit him below the belt. She sounded like Wayne. But she needed armor against this awful, pointless attraction.
Her stomach sank as he turned on a heel and headed back into the house. Well, she’d gotten what she wanted—for him to leave her alone.
*
Melanie left the corral where Lee was leading Punkin on a rope, Emmy clinging to her mane. The little girl’s laughter was a balm to her heavy heart.
She hadn’t seen Carter since that morning, and she hadn’t asked around to see where he’d gone, whether he was still there, because the last thing she wanted was anyone giving her a knowing glance. Wayne knew about her attraction. Did everyone? It had been five years since the wedding. How could he or anyone else know she still carried a torch? The thought deepened her broodiness.
The situation was ridiculous. She was ridiculous. Carter would be here for however long it took for him to remember how much he hated the place, and then he’d be gone. She only had to wait him out. Then things would settle into their old pattern.
And Carter couldn’t know how she felt, could he? She’d sent him letters over the past few years, but only to apprise him of Emmy’s progress. To remind him about her birthdays—although he’d never bothered sending her a gift—just money for her to purchase what Emmy might like. And never with a message addressed to her acknowledging she existed.
And yet, she’d continued sending photographs, pictures Emmy had drawn. Why? It was clear he wanted nothing to do with her. With either of them.
Hell, the attorney settling Daniel’s and Cassie’s affairs had had to contact his commander to get him to respond.
Carter wasn’t interested in anything to do with the ranch, his home, his dad, his niece. Certainly not some girl who’d invited herself to his bed. She glanced toward Lee, who gave her a smile to tell her he had everything well in hand, and she decided she needed a break from noise and responsibility. She headed to the barn. A ride would clear the cobwebs.
As she approached the open doors, Carter walked out, dressed in a cotton chambray shirt and jeans, a cowboy hat on his head. He looked good, natural, dressed as a cowboy, and he held the reins to two horses in his hands. He gave her a brief, crooked smile. “I saddled your horse,” he said, tilting his head toward the
buckskin his father had given her the first month after she’d arrived.
“You didn’t have to. I can saddle my own.”
“So I hear.” He handed her the reins. “If you don’t mind company…”
She should say she’d changed her mind. But he was making an effort to be nice. She wasn’t certain why, but she was tired of being cynical about everyone’s motives. “Sure. Try to keep up.” He moved to her side. “I don’t need help getting up.”
One corner of his mouth kicked up. “And you know I don’t either,” he whispered.
Heat spread across her cheeks. “Don’t,” she whispered.
“I can’t tease you, Mel?”
“This is awkward enough.”
“Doesn’t have to be.”
She shook her head. “There you go again…”
He grimaced and stepped back. “It’s just a ride,” he growled, his blue eyes turning smoky.
“Stop!”
He laughed. The first she thought she’d ever seen. And her heart leapt. He held up his hands and walked backward, around his horse, then stepped up into his saddle. “See if you can keep up.” He gave a click of his tongue and pulled the reins to peel away. His horse was already galloping before they’d cleared the gate leading into the field.
She glanced to see whether anyone else had noted their exchange. Lee was smiling and gave her a little wave. Emmy laughed from atop Punkin. “Better hurry, Mama! He’s gettin’ away.”
Feeling foolish, she quickly leapt into her saddle, nudged Adora’s sides and followed Carter’s dusty trail.
Carter didn’t slow his horse until they’d entered the far pasture where the bulk of the herd was grazing. A couple of ranch hands sat atop their horses, smoking hand-rolled cigarettes. The aroma wafted, mingling with the pungent scent of cow and manure. He watched as Melanie approached, bent over the neck of her mare, her cowboy hat bouncing off her back, kept from flying by the cord around her neck.
She was a sight. At one with her horse. Surprising, since he knew she hadn’t been raised around horses, had never ridden until the week of the wedding when he’d coaxed her into accompanying him to the bluff. She’d been nervous, something her horse had tried to take advantage of, refusing to budge, at first, then ignoring Melanie’s clumsy reining. He’d been forced to take the reins and lead her horse behind his. Not that he’d minded. He’d enjoyed hearing her berate her horse, the hard saddle—him for suggesting the outing. But they’d both been ready to escape the crush of the other wedding guests.
The ride had been frustrating in more ways than one. Her gaze had landed on him repeatedly, but he’d done his best to ignore her interest. All the while, he’d been keenly aware of her lovely curves, itching to explore them with his hands. But he’d been just as aware of the fact that Melanie wasn’t the type of woman he could indulge his impulses with. She was family. He’d tried like hell to keep that fact foremost in his mind while they’d kept company.
She was even more tempting now. The years had padded her frame, adding to her gentle curves. Her breasts stretched the tee she wore. Her firm round ass curved nicely against the saddle. Her red-gold hair, which had escaped her hair band, floated around her shoulders. Pervert that he was, he could well imagine those lovely curls bouncing around her lush breasts as she rode him…
As if she’d ever give him another chance. He’d used her and left her. Then he’d dumped his responsibility for Emmy squarely on her shoulders. That she’d been the right choice didn’t matter. That he hadn’t been in a good place to shoulder the load didn’t matter. He’d never tried to step up. Never reached out. After all that, how could she ever learn to trust him again?
He still wasn’t ready. His future was cloudy. Skilled only at killing, he was the last person she should want in her or Emmy’s lives.
Drawing near, Melanie pulled back on the reins, and her mare danced a bit as they both came to halt beside him.
“You look good on a horse.”
“Your dad taught me to ride. Gave me this horse, seeing as he thought anyone who lives on a ranch should know how.”
Carter nodded. “Sounds like him. Glad you took to it.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I was afraid if I didn’t, he’d never respect me.”
“Well, he does. And respect isn’t something he gives easily.”
She glanced toward the cattle below them. “Heard you spent the morning with him. How’d that go?”
“Better than yesterday. He has some color in his cheeks.”
“Ms. Davis says he’s feeling restless. That’s a good sign.” She turned to look at him. “You’re good for him. It’s possible he could hold on a little longer than we thought.”
Carter pressed his lips together. He didn’t like thinking his dad’s health might be reliant on his being there. He wasn’t staying. “Don’t see how I’m making any difference, other than he might be trying to get better so he can kick my ass.”
Melanie arched a brow. “Think you deserve it?”
Carter met her watchful gaze. “You tell me.”
She swallowed and glanced down at the reins wrapped around her fist. “I don’t hold any grudge, Carter. Not over Emmy. She’s been a gift.”
Something eased inside his chest. “I’m glad to hear it. I didn’t handle things well after Daniel passed.”
“We heard from your commander that you’d been through a rough firefight, lost people close to you. Can’t have been easy to hear your brother was gone, too.”
Carter’s face tightened. “Don’t make excuses for me. I’ve lost people. Wasn’t the first time…won’t be the last.”
“Then why didn’t you come?”
Her voice was soft, a hint of a cry in her tone. Looking at her, at the faint line on her cheek, he knew she’d been through hell. “I didn’t think my being here would make things easier. My father…” He drew a deep breath. “I didn’t want to be here and for him to turn to me and say it should have been me.”
Her eyes filled, but she glanced away and cleared her throat. “It’s hard to imagine him being that cruel. He’s been nothing but kind to me and Emmy.”
“You weren’t around when I was growing up. You didn’t see how it was…after Mom died.”
“No one talks about what happened. Tilda mutters. Hints about it being your fault.” She gave him a steady stare. “Don’t you think I should know? So I can understand what stands between you two?”
The last thing Carter wanted to do was talk about his mother’s death. But she was right. She’d lived here long enough to know there was bad blood. And she had a right to know exactly what kind of man he was. Then maybe, she’d stop looking at him with longing. Stop romanticizing there was anything redeemable inside him. Carter tightened his jaw. “Let’s head to the creek.”
Chapter Six
‡
The creek sat at the bottom of a ravine. The sides were steep due to erosion from flash floods that plagued this part of Texas. So, they left their horses tethered to a scrub oak at the rim, and Carter held her hand as they climbed downward to a sandy bank.
There, he dusted off a large flat rock before they seated themselves side by side.
Melanie remained quiet, not wanting to say or do anything that might change his mind about confiding in her. She was ready to hear about the incident that had left such a dark scar on the Vance family.
She’d always been mystified by the two elders’ attitude toward Carter. He was a SEAL. A war hero. There was plenty to be proud about that fact.
All she knew was that Susan Vance had died due to a car accident. Fresh flowers sat beneath a lonely wooden cross beside the spot on the highway where she’d passed. She’d been with Papa a couple of times when he’d stopped to lay fresh bouquets there. A sight that always filled her with sadness.
And now, she was about to hear the truth. She hoped the explanation would tell her why there was such a strained relationship between father and son.
She and Carter sat still
for a long time, the sounds of birds chirping and the gurgling of the stream filling in the silence.
At last, Carter took off his hat and held it between his two hands as he gazed out at the water. “I came second. Mom couldn’t have any more kids. And I wasn’t an easy kid to raise. I wasn’t Daniel.” He glanced upward at the sun and squinted.
A little smile curved the side of his mouth she could see. Her chest tightened, knowing how hard it was to follow a sibling who could do no wrong. One who was smarter, gifted even. “I’m sure your mom and dad didn’t expect you to be Daniel.” Her own parents had been a little disappointed in her grades, but they’d been supportive all the same, careful not to draw comparisons.
His mouth twisted in a grimace. “Mom was more forgiving, but Dad had little patience. I was always in trouble—too restless to sit still in class. Sure, I excelled at sports, but so did Daniel. Plus, he was smarter. Got great grades. Worked hard for it. I didn’t give a damn. Once he’d left for college, all their attention came down on me. I rebelled.”
His expression hardened, and she braced herself not to react, because she knew what he’d say next would be shattering.
“One weekend, not long before graduation, I partied with friends. Got drunk on one of their parents’ bottles of Patron. Next thing I knew, I was in jail. I called the house. My dad said I could stay in jail until I saw the judge. Said maybe it would give me some time to think. After the call, I laid on my bunk to sleep it off. When I woke up, it was to hear from a deputy that my mom had been killed on the highway on her way to bail me out. My dad blamed me for her death. And he was right to do so. She wouldn’t have been out there on that road in the middle of the night if I hadn’t screwed up.”
Melanie sat still for a moment longer, processing. She knew an empty platitude would only anger him. Not knowing what to say to ease his pain, she reached for one of the hands crushing the brim of his hat, and pulled it free. Then she threaded her fingers between his and leaned against his shoulder.
“Not gonna say it wasn’t my fault?” he asked, his voice rough as gravel.
Baby, It's You (Uncharted SEALs Book 5) Page 4
