Trusting Tomorrow

by PJ Trebelhorn

  “Thank you,” she said around the lump in her throat. She felt Jack’s hand squeeze her shoulder gently and was grateful he was there beside her. “Let me know if we can do anything for your mother, all right?”

  “That means more to me than I can ever say. I think having Brooke here to help her has done wonders.”

  “She does seem to be in good hands,” Jack said.

  Logan followed his gaze and saw Brooke holding Peggy’s hand as Peggy tossed a handful of dirt onto the casket which had already been lowered into the ground. Logan’s eyes teared up at the sight, but she looked away quickly, refusing to cry at the memory the scene provoked. She and her father had done the same thing at her mother’s funeral. And then she’d done it at his. So much death…

  “And I have to say, having you here seems to have done wonders for Brooke.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Logan was taken aback by the comment.

  “Oh, come on,” Marlene said as she hugged Logan. “I tried to get your father to set you up with Brooke months ago. He said he had no interest in meddling in your personal life. He did say it would warm his heart to see you settle down with someone like Brooke though.”

  Logan didn’t know what to say. She looked at Jack, but he was absolutely no help because he was trying too hard not to laugh. Logan backhanded him in the gut before turning and walking away from them both. She was stopped a few feet away by Shane.

  “Thank you, Logan. You did a wonderful job, and my grandmother is grateful for all your help, even if she hasn’t actually told you herself.”

  Logan stared at the fifteen-year-old man-child who was a complete enigma. She put an arm around his shoulders and walked to Brooke’s car with him.

  “You’re an amazing young man, Shane, and I hope you never change. The fact you’re a complete gentleman is a testament to how well your parents have raised you.”

  “That’s a nice bruise you have there above your eye. It’s a very cool shade of purple.”

  “You should see the other guy,” Logan said seriously.

  “Are you all right though?” he asked when they reached the car. “Emotionally, I mean. You’re not acting like yourself.”

  “I’m fine,” she said, though she really was anything but fine. Her stomach fluttered every time she looked at Brooke, and she broke out in a cold sweat when she considered the possibility of Brooke never speaking to her again. That possibility, along with having lost both her father and Henry in such a short amount of time, seemed unbearable.

  “What happened last night? When Brooke came home she went right to her room and wouldn’t talk to anyone. Did you piss her off?”

  Logan laughed. She couldn’t help herself. Then she laughed again at the indignant look Shane gave her. She forced herself to stop and pulled him into a hug.

  “I love how protective you are, and yes, I guess I did piss her off, but it was only a misunderstanding. I promise it will be corrected before the day is over. If Brooke will give me half a chance, that is.”

  “If Brooke will give you half a chance for what?”

  Logan stiffened as she released Shane and turned to face Brooke and Peggy who had walked up behind them. It was Peggy who’d spoken, and she was now looking back and forth between Logan and Brooke. Logan felt like she was six years old again and had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

  “Peggy, I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding between Brooke and myself. I was merely telling Shane I wanted to clear things up with her, if she’d give me half a chance.”

  “Of course she will, won’t you, dear?” Peggy asked with a sad smile.

  Brooke looked at Logan as though she might strangle her the moment they were alone, but she nodded at Peggy. Logan coughed into her hand in an attempt to cover up the chuckle threatening to escape.

  “Absolutely I will, Gram,” Brooke said, her voice overly sweet. She kissed Peggy on the cheek before grabbing Logan’s arm and pulling her in the direction of the hearse. When they were far enough away, Brooke stopped abruptly and spun Logan around. Logan had to fight to keep her balance. “What the hell was that all about?”

  “Last night.”

  “You were talking about last night with Shane?”

  “No, not at all.” Logan scratched the back of her neck and looked at her feet. This wasn’t going to be easy. She hadn’t done much apologizing to women in her lifetime. Apologizing for saying something insensitive she was getting used to, but apologizing for not going after Brooke the night before to straighten out their misunderstanding was something entirely different. “Come back to the funeral home with me. I want to talk about last night.”

  “Now? You want me to leave my grandmother now? She just buried her husband, Logan. I need to be with her.” Brooke turned to walk away, but Logan grabbed her arm and forced her to stop. “Let go of me. Now.”

  Logan didn’t, and Brooke had the urge to slap her if that’s what it was going to take for her to release her. Logan’s grip relaxed slightly and Brooke pulled away before taking a few steps away from her.

  “Please.”

  Brooke stopped. Never before had she heard one word hold so much emotion. She couldn’t force herself to take another step. Maybe she should give Logan the rope she needed to hang herself. It would be interesting to watch her squirm. Brooke took a deep breath and turned back around.

  “Fine. I’ll go with you to the funeral home, but all we’re going to do is talk, do you understand me? And you only have one hour before I need to be home to help Gram with the visitors I’m sure will be bombarding her the rest of the day.”

  “Not a problem.”

  Brooke walked back to her family to tell them what was happening before she got in the hearse with Logan. She tried not to think about all of the bodies the vehicle had transported over the years and swore she would never ride in another hearse again as long as she lived.

  She closed her eyes and gave thanks to whoever was responsible for her not actually saying those words out loud.

  *

  “You better talk fast, Swift, because you only have about half an hour before we need to head for home.”

  “I need to change. Please, come upstairs with me.”

  Her apartment was upstairs. Was this some stupid ploy to get her alone in the apartment? Logan wouldn’t really be so conniving, would she? Brooke followed her up the grand staircase in the entryway. There were two separate doors there, and Logan took her through the first one, which happened to be her bedroom.

  “You aren’t planning on getting undressed with me in the room, are you?” Brooke looked around the bedroom Logan led her to and was impressed. The king-sized bed didn’t even take up half the space. One entire wall was a floor to ceiling bookcase crammed full of books. The rest of the walls were adorned with pictures of family. She recognized Jack, and their father, John. The woman who looked so much like Jack could only be their mother. She’d been a beautiful woman. Brooke was startled when Logan spoke from right next to her because she hadn’t heard her approach.

  “I still miss her every day.” Logan’s voice was quiet and Brooke didn’t object when Logan’s hand clasped hers, their fingers intertwining. Brooke used the thumb of her free hand to wipe a tear from Logan’s cheek. Logan pointed to a photo of her with Jack and their mother on what appeared to be Logan’s high school graduation. “She was Jack’s biggest fan. She was the one who encouraged him to pursue his dreams. If she’d lived, I’m sure she would have been one of those mothers who went to every one of her son’s college games.”

  “She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

  “She was.” Logan squeezed Brooke’s hand before letting go. “I’m sorry she never got to meet you. I think she really would have liked you.”

  Brooke didn’t know what to say. She watched as Logan looked down at her feet before turning to walk toward the bathroom. Brooke grabbed her hand and stopped her before leading her to the bed and sitting down.

  “What did you want to
talk to me about?”

  “You misunderstood my hesitation last night,” Logan said without looking at her. She stared at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “It’s been a long time since I’ve ever done anything other than casual. I expected panic to set in at any moment. That’s why I hesitated.”

  “Panic? Why?”

  “Because you make me nervous, Brooke. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. Things I didn’t think I’d ever feel. You deserve so much more than casual. I’m scared I won’t be able to give it to you, and I’m scared to realize I want to try. I want to trust in having a tomorrow with you.”

  Brooke stared at her knowing her mouth was hanging open but physically unable to do anything about it. She felt her heart melt as the true meaning of Logan’s words sank in. When Brooke finally managed to close her mouth, she found herself smiling, and it was then Logan finally looked at her.

  “You think it’s funny.”

  “No, I think it’s incredibly sweet. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to say those things to me.”

  “But it was, and that’s what scares me more than anything. I’ve tried pushing you away, which is why you always seem to be pissed off at me for one thing or another. It’s a defense mechanism. But I’ve finally realized I’m miserable when you’re mad at me. I want to spend time with you. I want to be the one you bitch to—not the one you bitch about.”

  Brooke felt tears well up in her eyes, and she fought to not let them fall. She took a deep breath before standing and pulling Logan to her feet. They stood facing each other for a moment, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from darting back and forth between Logan’s eyes and her lips. Logan seemed nervous, shifting her weight from her right foot to her left, but she never averted her gaze from Brooke’s eyes. When Brooke was certain Logan was about to run, she placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her down for a kiss.

  It was warm and gentle, and Brooke moaned at the feel of Logan’s hands cupping her face. Logan was almost tentative—as if she were afraid Brooke might disappear from her grasp. When they pulled apart, Logan kept her eyes closed and sighed in what Brooke thought was relief.

  “I was afraid you’d run screaming from the house.”

  “Would anyone notice?” Brooke asked with a mischievous grin. “It is a funeral home we’re talking about here.”

  Logan’s eyes opened and she smiled warmly. She tucked a strand of hair behind Brooke’s ear then placed her palm on her cheek.

  “I know you’ve had bad experiences with breakups in the past, but would you be willing to give me a chance? I promise I’ll never do anything to hurt you intentionally.” Logan waited for an answer, her breath held in anticipation of what Brooke’s response would be. Brooke leaned in for a quick kiss before sitting down again. Logan allowed herself to be pulled down beside her. Her stomach fluttered when Brooke held her hand, their fingers entwining.

  “Can I think about it?”

  Logan’s heart dropped as she looked away. Her eyes focused on the family picture they’d had taken before Logan left for college. It was the last picture taken of all four of them together, and Logan had placed it on the wall everywhere she’d lived since then. She found herself wishing her mother was there now.

  “Hey,” Brooke said as she placed a finger under Logan’s chin and turned her head to meet her eyes. “I didn’t say no.”

  “You didn’t say yes either.”

  “You’re the one who pointed out I’ve spent half my time since we met being pissed at you, right? I’d really like to see if we can get through an evening without that happening, okay? Can we try a date or two and see how things go?”

  “Absolutely.” Logan grinned and she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “What are you doing tonight?”

  “I need to be with my grandmother. You’re welcome to come to the house with me if you’d like. Maybe we can go out for a bite to eat later, if Marlene doesn’t mind.”

  “Give me twenty minutes to shower and change.”

  Logan’s heart felt lighter than it had in months. There was an unbelievable sadness hanging over her at having lost not only her father but Henry too, but for the first time in years, she didn’t dread what tomorrow might bring.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Logan spoke with quite a few people over the course of the afternoon, but her gaze never strayed far from Brooke, who had been by Peggy’s side from the moment they’d arrived at the house. She looked over her shoulder when she felt someone watching her. It was Marlene.

  “Brooke tells me she might be having dinner with you tonight.”

  “If it’s okay with you. She doesn’t want to leave Peggy alone tonight.”

  “Shane and I will be here, so don’t worry about it. Have fun.”

  “How long are you staying in town?”

  “Since Shane’s winter break is about to start, we’re going to stay until New Year’s Day. You’ll be spending Christmas with us, won’t you?”

  “I think Brooke and I need to figure out if we can get along for an entire evening before I commit to something like that, Marlene.”

  “Please,” Marlene said. “You two were meant for each other. Sometimes I think you’re the only two people in the world who can’t see it. Have fun tonight, Logan, but if you ever hurt her, you’ll have me and Shane to answer to. We may not seem like much, but you don’t want to mess with us, trust me.”

  “I wouldn’t doubt it.” Logan turned her attention back to Brooke, who was looking at her and smiling. After a moment, Marlene tapped her on the shoulder.

  “I don’t know how much she’s told you, if anything at all, but she’s had a rough year,” Marlene said. Logan noted the protective tone in her voice.

  “She told me.” Logan put her arm around Marlene’s shoulders and kissed her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. “And if I ever meet the woman who shattered her heart into a million pieces, she’ll have to answer to me.”

  “There’s a long line of us for that ass-whooping, so you’ll just have to wait your turn.”

  *

  “Can we go back to your apartment for the nightcap you mentioned?” Brooke asked when Logan pulled out of the parking lot at the restaurant later that night. When Logan looked at her, Brooke shrugged. “Too many people at home with Marlene and Shane at my place, and Jack at yours. I was thinking I might want to kiss you without an audience present.”

  “Yeah, we can go there.” Logan drove the short distance with her hand on Brooke’s thigh and a smile plastered on her face. She never would have thought she’d enjoy a date so much. They’d spent the evening with Logan telling funny stories about Henry Collier, and they were getting along. No fights, no disagreements or misunderstandings. It was as close to a perfect evening as Logan could imagine.

  She led Brooke up the staircase to her apartment, but they went through the second door instead of the first, which caused Brooke to hesitate for a moment.

  “There’s more to the apartment than the bedroom?” Brooke looked around the living room in what could only be described as awe.

  “I’ll be the first to admit I don’t cook, but have you ever been in someone’s living space where they didn’t have a kitchen? Or at least a refrigerator? Where do you think I keep my beer?” Logan knew the apartment was huge. The master bedroom alone was bigger in square footage than the entire first floor of her father’s and the Colliers’ houses combined. She’d tried to talk him into living in the apartment instead of her, but he didn’t want to leave the house.

  “I guess I didn’t really think about it. I just assumed the bedroom was all there was.”

  “We can certainly stay in the bedroom if it’s what you want, but I do have a living room, as you can see, along with a kitchen, an extra bedroom, and another full bathroom,” Logan said as she wrapped her arms around Brooke’s waist from behind and kissed her temple. She moved to her ear, where she sucked gently on the lobe before continuing. “Would you like
to stay in the bedroom?”

  “I can’t think when you’re doing this,” Brooke said, trying to step away from her, but Logan held her tighter.

  “That’s kind of the point, you know?”

  Brooke’s body melted back into hers as she whispered the words close to her ear. Logan kissed her jaw when Brooke reached up and touched the back of her neck, applying just enough pressure to let Logan know exactly what she wanted. Logan loosened her hold so Brooke could turn in her arms, and they kissed. Logan didn’t object when Brooke began unbuttoning her shirt, but when Logan felt Brooke’s hand on her exposed flesh, she broke the kiss.

  “Are you sure about this?” Logan asked, her voice strained.

  “More than I’ve ever been of anything in my life.” Brooke’s eyes closed and she bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan when her fingers brushed across Logan’s nipple.

  “Jesus,” Logan said in a strangled whisper. The nipple hardened immediately, and Logan felt like she might come at any moment. She grabbed Brooke’s wrist to stop her movements and met her desire-infused gaze. “What about that nightcap?”

  “I thought this was it.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’ll work,” Logan said before taking her lips in a kiss she hoped conveyed everything she was feeling. They both moaned when Logan pulled Brooke’s blouse free from her pants and ran her hands up her sides underneath. Logan whimpered when Brooke pulled away from her and began removing her own clothes.

  “Seriously, Logan, there are too many clothes in the way here,” she said, her voice raspy with need.

  Logan didn’t need to be told twice. She made quick work of removing her clothing, but she faltered when Brooke’s breasts were freed from her bra. She was worried she’d start salivating at the sight and moved to cup them both in her hands. Brooke smiled nervously when their eyes met.

  “You are so beautiful,” Logan whispered before bending to take a nipple between her lips. She wrapped her arms around Brooke’s waist when she felt hands in her hair holding her firmly in place. They held to each other tightly as Logan stood up straight again, Brooke’s legs going around her waist.