A rush of gratitude threatened to do him in, and he stared at the dark vid screen as he nodded. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be in my office when you’re through,” Marina said and walked away.
Straining his ears, Jason listened for her office door to close. Since mental images weren’t working today, he had no choice but to endure physical manipulation if he ever wanted to get out of there. As soon as he heard Marina close her door, he gritted his teeth and grabbed himself. Although nauseated by the whole situation, he would rather manually manipulate himself than let the coldly efficient Dana touch him. The moment he was physically prepared, he slid into the familiar channel, closed his eyes, and went to work.
The gut-wrenching task seemed to take an eternity, but finally, he was free to leave that hated place. Closing his robe, he ignored Dana and kept his head down as he made his way to Marina’s office. She looked up as he entered, but he didn’t say as word. Instead, he dropped into the chair in front of her desk and lowered his head to his hands, disgusted with himself and his life.
After a moment her chair squeaked, and he felt her presence before him as she spoke in a concerned voice. “Jason? Are you all right?”
He shook his head as tears stung his eyes. “Take me away from here, Marina.”
“We’ll leave just as soon as I am able.”
It wouldn’t be soon enough, but he had no choice other than to wait and try to convince himself that life was worth living.
4
Marina led Jason through the facility and stopped at a door marked “Authorized Personnel Only.” Her usual sense of relief at reaching this door at the end of the day was conspicuously absent as she swiped her ID card through the slot and placed her hand on the biometric scanner. Instead of leaving the troubles of work behind, she was taking them home with her, for better or worse.
Jason hadn’t spoken since he asked her to take him away. His whole demeanor spoke of extreme emotional distress and depression, but she wasn’t sure how to help him. She had enough training to calm the men down if necessary, but she had never seen anyone as broken as Jason appeared to be. Her knowledge and skills didn’t extend to such complex cases.
The light on the door lock turned green, and Marina pulled it open. As she led Jason through, she realized the only possible course of action for the evening was to follow her gut and do whatever seemed to help him regain his emotional balance. She wished the cocky, self-assured man he had been yesterday was the one going home with her for the night. She had a feeling this ultra-compliant, broken man would have a hard time figuring out what he wanted.
When they arrived at her apartment door, she slid her keycard into the lock and laid her hand on the biometric scanner on the wall beside the door. The door unlocked and she offered Jason a smile as she pushed it open. “Welcome to my home.”
His head lifted and he peered into the entryway. “Your apartment is in the facility?”
“Yes, they want me readily available should there be an emergency.” She ushered him inside and closed the door. “Thankfully, I’ve only received one after hours call in the years I’ve been here.”
“So, you’re a prisoner here, too.” His direct gaze was a bit of a relief after his listlessness, but the anger she saw smoldering there concerned her.
She shook her head. “No, I’m allowed to leave the facility any time I’m not working. I just live in the apartment as a matter of convenience.”
He nodded and scanned the small entryway. Marina looked around the mostly empty space as well. He seemed unusually interested in the framed pastoral print on the beige wall above a small table, the coat tree holding a jacket and a scarf, and the plain wooden chair holding a cardboard box with half a dozen novels she intended to donate to the facility’s library.
Jason stepped over to the box and picked up the top book, a mystery. After studying it for a moment, he returned it to the box and turned toward Marina. “You’re the one who provides our reading material?”
“I donate a few books now and then.” She searched for any way he could have logically reached that conclusion based on an unmarked box of books that could be either coming into her apartment or going out. Nothing came to mind. “Why do you ask?”
He tapped the book with a faint hint of amusement in his eyes. “Our library gets books by this author every few months or so. I just guessed you might be the source, since we’re about due for another one and you have one sitting here by the door.”
Marina smiled, glad to see him showing interest in something. “It’s nice to know my reading material is predictable.”
“They’re popular books, and several of the men always look forward to the next one’s arrival.”
“Are you one of them?”
“I look forward to the arrival of any new books.” He shifted his gaze to the pastoral print and continued more softly. “Reading provides a way to escape.”
She considered his admission and couldn’t think of a way to respond. The more she learned about him, the more determined she became to find a way to get Dr. Flanders to release him from the facility. After ten years, Jason had surely done more than enough to help repopulate the planet.
He glanced through the open doorway into the living room. “Is there someplace I can clean up?”
“Of course.”
Marina stepped past him and led the way into her living quarters. It felt strange to have him there; no man had been in her home since her divorce from the tyrant. But Jason didn’t intimidate her or make her feel lacking. To the contrary, he brought out womanly feelings in her that she had long ago squashed behind the efficiency required by her job.
Unwilling to ponder it further, she opened the door to her spacious bathroom, one of the few luxuries the collection center had provided. She flipped on the light and stepped back so Jason could enter.
“You’re welcome to use either the shower or the bathtub. You’ll find soap under the sink and towels on that shelf.”
He nodded and took in the bathroom then turned toward her. “Do I have clean clothes to put on when I finish?”
“Yes, someone dropped a bag off this morning. I’ll go get it for you.”
Marina went to her bedroom, the only one in her apartment, and retrieved the blue duffel. As she carried it back to the bathroom, she hoped the hot water and clean clothes would help him relax enough to enjoy his evening. The fact that she was a nervous wreck about what he might ask of her was bad enough. If he didn’t relax and realize he was in charge for the night, the whole situation would never make it past awkward, let alone anywhere near enjoyable for either of them.
The sound of running water came through the closed bathroom door, and Marina hesitated. Perhaps she should give him some time to himself, let him relax a little before she interrupted him. Then again, would waiting to deliver his bag undo whatever relaxation he managed?
She pondered the situation long enough that the water turned off. A new concern presented itself. Although he had probably been filling the bathtub, he could have been taking a shower. In which case he would now be dripping wet and naked. A mental image started to form, but she shook it off. She was here to care for him, not lust after him. If he chose to have his way with her later, she had no doubt she would enjoy it, but she had no right to let her imagination run away with her.
Drawing in a deep breath and kicking herself for delaying the inevitable, she knocked on the door. “Jason? I have your bag.”
A quiet splash comforted her. He was in the tub, and therefore mostly concealed.
“You can come in,” he called.
She felt as though she was about to enter dangerous territory. What if the splash hadn’t been him climbing into the tub, but climbing out? She straightened her shoulders and steadied her nerves. Regardless of where he was or how much of him was visible, she had a job to do. She just hoped she could do it to everyone’s satisfaction.
Twisting the knob, she pushed open the door. Relief washed through h
er when she saw he was indeed seated in the bathtub. From the clean, slightly piney essence filling the air, he had added some of her mountain forest scented bubble bath. Although unexpected, the scent seemed to fit him better than it ever had her. His muscular arms and shoulders held untold amounts of tension as he sat there with wisps of steam drifting up around him. Had his invitation been sincere, or had he told her she could come in because he thought it was expected? In an attempt to respect as much privacy as she could give him, she stayed in the doorway and set the duffel on the floor just inside the bathroom.
“Here you go. I’ll prepare our dinner while you finish.” Marina realized he might take that as her giving him a time limit and paused. “But there’s no rush. You’re welcome to take however long you want.”
She started to leave, but his voice stopped her before she closed the door halfway.
“Marina.”
She turned back, careful to keep her gaze anywhere but on his well-formed torso. “Yes?”
“Is it all right for me to ask you to stay in here?” The uncertainty in his voice tore at her heart. Apparently he thought she had all the authority tonight.
Swallowing her sympathy, she smiled and met his gaze. “You can ask anything you want. Until I take you back in the morning, you’re in charge, not me.”
He studied her long enough to make her nervous. What was he thinking behind those troubled blue eyes? Before she could think of a way to fill the silence, he spoke again. “In that case, will you sit in here with me for a while?”
“Of course.” She hesitated. The only place for her to sit was the edge of the bathtub, which despite the bubbles would likely give her more of a view of him than she was ready for. If he insisted, however... “Do you mind if I bring in a chair to sit on?”
“Go ahead.” He closed his eyes and leaned back with a sigh. “I just don’t want to be alone.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Marina went to the entryway and moved the box of books to the floor then carried the chair back to the bathroom. Jason still had his eyes closed, but he opened them and watched as she set the chair near the tub. He looked so forlorn that she knew she had to do something. Tension still radiated from him, so she suggested the only thing that came to mind.
“Would you like for me to rub your shoulders?”
Suspicion clouded his gaze, and he sat up a little straighter. “Why?”
“To help you relax.” How many ways had he been hurt that he couldn’t see a simple offer of friendship for what it was?
He studied her for an eternity before nodding. “That would be nice.”
Marina scooted her chair closer and laid her hands on his shoulders. A shudder ran through him, but he didn’t pull away. As she massaged the tight muscles beneath his warm, smooth skin, she noticed a faint tremble in his body. Before her concern could fully take form, he leaned forward and lowered his head. He shuddered again and drew in a shaky breath. Marina lifted her hands away from him, worry stabbing her heart.
“Jason, are you all right?”
He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. Marina laid her hand on his back, between his shoulder blades, and rubbed lightly to let him know she was still there and still cared. With each great, heaving breath he took, she wished she knew how to ease his pain. She planned to contact Dr. Flanders in the morning and give a full report of Jason’s signs of serious emotional trauma. If the woman wouldn’t listen, Marina knew a few politicians who might be willing to do her a favor and get him released from the collection program.
Gradually, Jason’s sobs eased and his knotted muscles relaxed. When he lowered his hands, Marina withdrew hers from his back and waited.
Without lifting his head, Jason spoke quietly, his voice a little hoarse. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He drew in a deep breath and slowly released it then splashed water on his face. Finally, he looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. “You said something earlier about dinner.”
“That’s right. Is there something in particular you would like to have?” She hoped she had the necessary ingredients in her kitchen. Otherwise, she would have to disappoint him, and she couldn’t bear to do that.
After a moment, he gave her a hopeful look. “Macaroni and cheese?”
Relief flowed through her. She kept those ingredients on hand at all times. “I can make that. Is there anything else you would like?”
He shrugged, and Marina tried not to notice the way the muscles in his back and shoulders rippled with the movement. She had to work hard to focus on his next words.
“Whatever you want is fine.” He leaned back in the bathtub and picked up the washcloth draped over the side.
Marina took that as her cue to leave. She rose from the chair and smiled. “All right. I’ll go start dinner. Whenever you’re ready, just come to the kitchen. It’s through the open doorway on the other side of the living room.”
She walked out of the bathroom and pulled the door closed behind her. The more time she spent with Jason, the more she wondered what would happen next. Would he act on his apparent attraction to her? Would he seek out her comforting nature like a child in need of a hug?
The constant uncertainty had already worn her out, and the evening was just beginning.
* * * *
Dressed in cotton pants and a T-shirt, Jason combed his fingers through his damp hair and stared at the bathroom door. He still couldn’t believe he had broken down like that in front of Marina. But the feel of her hands on him, the gentle feminine touch with nothing sexual about it, had torn through him, reminding him of how little caring he’d had in his life. The grief had risen up before he realized it, and all he could do was ride out the wave and hope Marina wouldn’t hold it against him.
He couldn’t find a way to stall any longer and opened the door. The living room had a comfortable, lived-in feel that made him long for a home of his own. His quarters had a bed, a closet, and a desk, each of them utilitarian and identical to what every other man in the facility had. He had no family photos to post, no artworks, nothing to personalize his private space. Marina’s living room, on the other hand, showed her personality.
Bookshelves lined one wall. A fireplace with a polished wooden mantel occupied the wall across from it. Framed photos were scattered across the mantel and the matching side tables. The beige couch looked so comfortable that Jason wanted to stretch out on it and never move. A colorful blanket draped the back, and coordinating throw pillows dotted either end. The plush chairs and glass-topped coffee table rounded out the furniture.
Drawing in a calming breath, Jason stepped onto the thick carpet, relishing the softness beneath his bare feet. Most of his life had been spent on linoleum and tile floors. The few times he had been on carpeted floors, it had been thin, industrial carpet that hadn’t provided any give beneath the soles of his shoes. At least his time with Marina would give him the opportunity to feel spoiled, like the characters in novels and movies who went to a spa where their every whim was met and the luxurious atmosphere drove away all their worries. He could only hope his worries would fade the longer he was in Marina’s apartment, but he knew that it was all an illusion. A way of manipulating him so he would continue to do what the collection center wanted without argument.
But did Marina want to manipulate him like Dr. Flanders and the others? Or did she truly care as much as he thought? He had a feeling she was a puppet, controlled by those with more authority, just as he was. If that was the case, he might be able to trust her. Whatever happened tonight would play a large part in making a final decision on that.
He reluctantly left the carpeted living room and stepped onto the tile floor of the kitchen. Marina had her back to him as she stirred a pot on the stove, and he moved behind her. She glanced over her shoulder with a smile.
“I’m making the cheese sauce now.”
“Good.” He couldn’t resist touching her, trying to see just how far she would let hi
m go. Yes, she had claimed he was in charge tonight, but had she actually meant it? He stroked his fingers across her shoulders, enjoying the way she shivered under his light touch. Her wavy hair fell just below her shoulders, and he swept the silky mass aside, baring the creamy skin of her neck. She still didn’t pull away, just tensed a little. He stepped closer and pressed his lips to her neck. She gasped, sending his heart into a frenzy. This woman was so responsive to his touch. It empowered him to know that he could affect a woman. So many of the women he saw on a daily basis were indifferent to anything the men did. Not that touching was allowed, but Marina had given signs of interest even without physical contact.
Jason laid his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging the tension from them as he planted light kisses on her neck, in her hair. She smelled so good, slightly fruity like the bottle of shampoo he had found in the shower. And her skin was so soft, so intoxicating.
As he slid his hands down her arms, she shivered again. “Jason...”
He froze. That wasn’t the sound of arousal. Her voice held a tremor of nervousness that stabbed him straight through the heart. Scaring her was the last thing he wanted to do.
He withdrew his hands and moved away. “I’m sorry, Marina.”
“Don’t apologize.” She laid aside the wooden spoon she had been using and turned to face him. “I’m just not used to having a man around.”
And he wasn’t used to having a woman he could touch, but that didn’t make him nervous. There had to be more to her reaction than the unfamiliar situation. Or maybe that was the whole issue.
He leaned back against the counter and studied her. “Have you ever been with a man?”
“Yes.” She lowered her gaze and clasped her hands together. “I was married for a few months, and then we divorced.”
“Why?” In a world with such a disproportionate number of women to men, he couldn’t imagine any woman voluntarily giving up her claim on a man.
Jason Page 4
