* * * *
A quiet sigh brought Jason to awareness, and his eyes popped open. Who had come into his room and put such a heavy blanket on his left side?
The faint scent of fruit drifted to his nostrils, and memory slammed into him. Shifting a little, he looked down and found Marina sound asleep, halfway lying on him. He hadn’t dreamed it. He really was in her apartment, lying on the couch with her while a cheerful fire burned in the fireplace.
Relief overwhelmed him, and tears stung his eyes. He had been afraid the wonderful evening was nothing more than another pleasant dream of the woman who had taken over his heart. He reached up and smoothed the hair away from her face, and then kissed her forehead.
“Hey,” he said softly as her eyes fluttered open.
Marina looked up at him with a sleepy smile. “Hey yourself. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Don’t worry about it. I fell asleep, too.” He didn’t know who had fallen asleep first, but it didn’t matter. They had talked about her childhood and the world outside the collection center, and then they had both drifted into silence, content to enjoy each other’s company. Jason shifted to ease the knot forming in his back. His position on the couch wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it had been earlier. “Why don’t we go to bed?”
“All right.”
Marina’s voice held a faint tremor, and he gave her a hug. “I know when I first asked for time with a woman I made it sound like all I wanted was a warm body to play with. But what I really want is to hold you and sleep beside you. Okay? No more worrying that there might be a double meaning to what I suggest.”
She sat up and braced her hand on his chest, the teasing twinkle in her eyes illuminated by the golden glow from the fireplace. “You mean you don’t want to do more with me than just sleep?”
His heart thumped at the realization she was flirting with him. Well, he had learned enough from books and movies over the years to know what to do. He pulled her down on top of him and held her tight with one arm. Then he trailed his other hand along her body, enjoying the way her breathing quickened. “Trust me. I want to do a whole lot more with you than just sleep.”
Her eyes widened, and her beautiful lips parted on a gasp. Before she could speak, he claimed her mouth with a kiss that set his already warm blood boiling. He would never get tired of her taste, the feel of her body against his. When he had pushed himself close enough to the limit of his self-control, he broke the kiss and looked into Marina’s flushed face. The desire in her eyes nearly pushed him over the edge, but he used years of practice to rein in his libido.
He tucked a silky strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. “Tonight, however, I just want to sleep. Everything else can wait for another night.”
She bit her lip and nodded as her gaze slid away. He knew what she was thinking. He wasn’t sure there would be another night for the two of them, either. But just once in his life, he wanted to control whether he did anything sexual or not. By depriving himself tonight, he had that control, and waiting would undoubtedly make their eventual coming together even sweeter.
He kissed her again, a brief meeting of lips that left him wanting more. “Now, let’s go to bed.”
“Okay.” She got up and turned off the fireplace as he rose. Faint light barely provided enough illumination to see silhouettes of the furniture. He scanned the room and realized the light came from small night lights evenly spaced along the walls near the floor.
Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips, unable to restrain himself from touching her. “So, where is bed?”
She laughed softly and tugged his hand. “It’s this way.”
He followed her to the door to the right of the fireplace, the same door she had gone through earlier to change. The memory of her expression when he suggested she change into something more comfortable brought a smile to his lips. He would never forget those wide eyes or the way she had tried to act nonchalant as she asked what he had in mind. Although he had been tempted to suggest she change out of her work clothes and not bother putting anything else on just to see if she would do it, he had kept to his original intention with the question. He couldn’t deny the sense of relief that had washed over him when she returned in long pajama pants and a loose T-shirt.
Until that moment, he had harbored the fear in the back of his mind that she would try to seduce him, to coax him into having sex with her when all he wanted was a break and time with a woman who treated him like a human instead of an emotionless robot. Yes, he found her irresistible and had a few fantasies he would like to carry out with her in the future, but he needed to know that a woman could see him as a man rather than just as a sperm-producing machine.
When he had realized she feared he would try to seduce her, his tension levels dropped immensely. Neither of them knew precisely what they were doing, and that brought him a measure of comfort. For once, he wasn’t being controlled and had the freedom to truly make decisions. Before tonight, all of his decisions were based on the choices he was given, often with one decision clearly better than the other. But here, in Marina’s apartment, she proved time and again that she had meant it when she said he was in charge.
He followed her into her dark bedroom with the same faint night lights providing a soft glow. He looked around but couldn’t distinguish any details about the few pieces of furniture. The carpet from the living room continued into this room, and he wondered if she realized how lucky she was to have such a luxurious floor covering. The thought vanished when she turned on the lamp sitting on a bedside table.
The bed was about twice as wide as his and covered in a multicolored quilt. Several pillows were piled against the wooden headboard. It was the most comfortable-looking bed he had ever seen.
“Like it?” Marina asked, her voice filled with uncertainty.
Jason turned toward her and smiled. “If it’s even half as comfortable as it looks, I may never get out of it.”
She laughed softly and turned the covers down. “Well, we both have to get out of it in the morning, but I hope you enjoy sleeping in it as long as you can.”
“I plan to.”
He climbed into the bed beside her and stretched out with a contented sigh. The mattress held a softness the rock hard bed in his room had never possessed, and the weight of the covers was almost as soothing as Marina’s warm body next to him. She turned off the lamp and settled onto her side with her back to Jason. Longing rose up inside him, and for once he didn’t have to deny himself. He scooted over to her and slid an arm around her waist, holding her close. The feel of her body against his was so perfect, so right. He inhaled her scent deeply, and then released it with a sigh.
“Reality is definitely better than dreams.”
Marina glanced back at him. “What do you mean?”
“Being here with you, holding you like this...” He kissed her cheek and settled against the pillow. “My dreams last night didn’t do it justice.”
She remained quiet for moment, and then spoke in a voice as soft as a summer breeze. “Your magnificent dreams of me were about holding me while we slept?”
“Some of them, yes.” He gave her a hug, knowing what she had assumed his dreams had been about. “There was also one about walking through a garden with you while holding your hand, and another where you and I watched a movie together with my arm around you and your hand on my leg.”
“I have to admit that’s not what I expected.”
“I know. You expected me to think about nothing but sex, but I want a normal life, Marina. I want contact with a woman that doesn’t involve one or both of us being naked. You’re fulfilling some of my fantasies tonight.” He propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down into her face. “The rest of the fantasies can wait until the thrill of having someone care about me, not just my body, fades. Everything we’ve done tonight is fulfilling the emotional cravings I’ve carried around for so long.”
The sweet smile she gave him made his heart thump against his r
ibcage. How he would love to see that smile every night for the rest of his life. He gave her a quick kiss and settled down behind her once more. Perhaps if he didn’t show a single sign of stubbornness about the collection, no matter what the attendant did, he would be granted permission to stay with Marina at least a few nights a week.
6
The slow glide of a warm hand across Marina’s abdomen brought her out of a sweet dream of Jason. A brief moment of anxiety hit when it sank in that she wasn’t alone in bed, but then memory surfaced. She opened her eyes to Jason’s smiling face, and her heart melted.
“Good morning,” she said, realizing his hand still rested just under the hem of her T-shirt.
“Morning.” He leaned down and kissed her, tenderly at first and then much more thoroughly. Once he had stolen her breath, he caressed her abdomen once more, sending tendrils of heat racing through her body. “You have no idea how wonderful it was to wake up beside you and realize last night wasn’t a dream.”
“The feeling is mutual.” She laid her hand along his jaw, the blond stubble rasping against her palm. “Have you been awake long?”
“Long enough.” His hand skimmed up her body and paused on her ribcage. “Let me know if you don’t want me touching you.”
She smiled as her desire ratcheted up another notch. Taking hold of his wrist, she urged his hand higher. “I’d protest if you didn’t touch me right now.”
“I was hoping you would say that.”
He lowered his mouth to hers in a bone-melting kiss as he cupped her breast. She circled his neck with her arms as he traced a lazy pattern on her skin and sent her heart into overdrive. Never had she felt so desirable, so cared for by a man. If this was how Jason thought all men treated women, no wonder he had been surprised to hear of her divorce. She shoved aside the intrusive thoughts of the tyrant, refusing to let him ruin this moment for her.
Jason moved closer, and Marina ran her hands down his body. His soft groan encouraged her, and she slipped her hands under his shirt, exploring the lean muscles of his back. He pulled away long enough to remove his shirt and toss it aside, and then he was back, kissing her passionately and performing his own explorations of her body.
Wanting to share the pleasure with him, she slid one hand to his chest and stroked the well-defined muscles. She trailed her fingers down his solid abdomen and brushed the waistband of his pants. He jerked away and drew his legs toward his chest. His body trembled, and he took deep, shuddering breaths that filled Marina with concern as she sat up.
“Jason? What’s wrong?”
“I— You were—” He gazed at her through guarded eyes. “What were you doing?”
She studied him, worried about his reaction to the intimate moment. “I wanted to give you the same pleasure you were giving me.”
He closed his eyes and lowered his head. After a moment, he blew out a breath and looked at her again. “I’m sorry. I want to enjoy your touch, but...”
“It’s all right.” She scooted close and wrapped him in a hug. “I’m the one who should apologize. I should have realized you might not want me to touch you like that.”
“That’s the thing. I do want you to touch me.” He sighed and leaned into her embrace. “I guess I just need more time.”
“I’ll give you as much time as you need.” She leaned back and framed his face with her hands, looking into his troubled eyes. “I want you to be able to trust me not to do anything you don’t want me to do.”
“You’re a better woman than I could have ever dreamed of.” Jason sighed and stretched out on the bed. He encouraged her to lie down with him, guiding her head to his shoulder and putting his arm around her. “This facility has messed with my mind. If I were sane I would be taking full advantage of being here with you. Instead, the last thing I want is sex.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re perfectly sane. Sex has been used as means to control you and has been forced upon you through the collection for years. You would have to be insane not to be affected by it.” Marina trailed a finger up and down his chest, hoping the light touch would help him see she had no interest in hurting him either physically or emotionally. “I’m going to contact some people outside the facility and see if I can persuade them to investigate the way things are done around here. With any luck, they’ll decide to implement some changes to make life better for you and the rest of the men.”
“I just want to leave this place and live like a normal human being.”
“I’m planning to talk to them about that possibility as well.”
“Really?” Jason shifted and met her gaze. “You would do that for me?”
“Yes, I would. As I’ve said before, no one should have to suffer the way you do.”
A hint of suspicion crept into his eyes. “So, you’re going to see about getting me released from the collection program because you feel sorry for me?”
Marina sat up and laid her hand flat on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat. “No, I’m going to see about getting you released from the program because it’s what you want. I do think not being forced to participate in the collection would be in your best interest, but my main concern is seeing you happy.”
“Why?” He covered her hand with his as he studied her.
“Because I care about you.” She leaned down and kissed him. “When you care about someone, you want to do everything you can to see that they’re happy and can enjoy life.”
“If that’s true, you’re the first person who has ever cared about me.” He drew her into his embrace and sighed. “The one thing I’ve never been able to figure out is why my parents gave me up to this place. Did they not care about me, either?”
Marina looked up at him and found him staring at the ceiling. “You were never told what happened to your parents?”
“No.” Jason brought his gaze down to her. “Do you know?”
She remembered the sad history documented in his file. “Yes, but are you sure you want to hear about it right now?”
“I’ve wondered my entire life why my parents gave me up. I don’t want to have to wait any longer to find out.”
“All right.” She released a breath and steeled her emotions to keep her eyes dry. “Your father died in an accident shortly after your birth. Then your mother contracted the Great Sickness. In an effort to protect you, she surrendered you to the government before she infected you or became too ill to care for you. They chose to place you in the breeding program rather than send you to a foster family.”
Jason remained silent for several moments. “What happened to my mother?”
“She died before your first birthday.” Marina gave him a hug. “I’m sorry, Jason.”
“Don’t be.” He inhaled deeply and slowly released the breath. “Now I know she didn’t choose to put me in this hellhole. She loved me enough to want what was best for me, and the government chose to put me in this situation instead of giving me a family.”
No response seemed appropriate, so Marina just laid there, absorbing his warmth and feeling the tension leave his muscles. As she started to drift off, a persistent beeping filled the air. She sat up with a groan and turned off the alarm.
“I hate to say it, but I have to get up.” She gazed at Jason, so relaxed in her bed, and her heart gave a little squeeze. Nothing had looked so right in a long time. “You’re welcome to lie here a little longer, but I’ve got to get in the shower and get ready for work.”
He trailed his fingers down the bare skin of her arm. “I wish you could stay here with me.”
“So do I.” She leaned down to give him a quick kiss and found herself wrapped in his arms.
Jason held her close and kissed her thoroughly as he caressed her back. Even through her T-shirt, his touch ignited flames deep within her. When his hand slid down to her hip and pulled her closer, she had to fight the urge to touch him. She wanted his last moments with her to be nothing but pleasant memories.
Just when she thought she would
go crazy if she didn’t touch him, he groaned and released her. She sat back and studied his flushed face and passion-darkened eyes. Why had he pushed her away?
He sucked in a deep breath and sat up. Then he met her gaze with a twinkle in his eyes and the sexiest smile she had ever seen. “You better go take your shower, because if you don’t get up now, I’m not going to let you out of this bed for one long time.”
A shiver raced through her with the possibilities. “I’m not sure I would mind.”
He chuckled and stroked her cheek. “I know I wouldn’t, but you have a job to do. If you show up late or don’t show up at all, the risk is too great that I won’t be allowed to come here again.”
“That is a risk I definitely want to avoid.” She kissed his cheek and climbed out of bed with a sigh. “After I shower, I’ll fix us some breakfast.”
Feeling his gaze burning into her, she grabbed her terrycloth robe and left the bedroom before she gave into temptation and climbed back in bed.
* * * *
As soon as Marina left the room, Jason dropped back onto the mattress and scrubbed his hands over his face. He’d come so close to completely seducing her. If it hadn’t been for the nagging voice in his mind reminding him that he had to be careful so he could see her again, he would have stripped them both down and taken full advantage of being in her bed. But he’d finally heeded that voice and let her go. Now he just had to hope he wouldn’t regret it.
Instead of lying there thinking about what he’d like to do with Marina, he got up. After grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulling it on, he left the bedroom. The sound of the shower tempted him, and he hesitated. Visions of Marina under the hot spray, soap sliding down her naked body, sprang to mind. He suppressed a groan and thought about coffee. Maybe the hot, black brew would help him control his desire.
Jason Page 6
