Twisted Honor (Deep Six Security Series, #2)

by Becky McGraw

  Easing down on top of her, he rested on his elbows and waited. With a frustrated little mewl, her back arched higher pushing her breasts closer to his mouth. Slade lowered his head toward her right breast, her breathing stopped and he smiled as he just hovered there and breathed. His tongue tingled to taste her, his body craved it, but he waited, building her frustration along with his own.

  After a minute, her body vibrated with her need, it was like electricity between them. With a series of small grumpy sounds that echoed inside his head, Taylor wriggled under him to spread her legs wider, press her heat, her oily wetness against his hip before she lifted her right shoulder off of the bed cupped her breast and brought her nipple to his lips, but he didn’t take it.

  “Suck me,” she commanded in a raspy whisper.

  “Please suck me, Slade” he corrected roughly, meeting her eyes as his tongue shot out to quickly flick her nipple.

  A tremor rocked her followed by two quick secondary jolts before a rumble vibrated in her chest. “We don’t have all night—just do it!” she hissed.

  “We have as long as it takes for you to ask nicely for what you want, little bit,” he said, and she plopped back on the bed to glare up at him. He skimmed his hand up her side to pinch her nipple and she moaned. “Rephrase that and I’ll give you want you want.”

  When she pursed her lips rebelliously, he rolled her nipple between his fingers. With each twist her breath hitched and her back inched up toward him again. Finally, she whimpered, threw her head back and begged, “Arrrgh—pleeease, suck me, Slade!”

  Shoving his hands under her body, Slade lifted her to his mouth and sucked her greedily inside. Her taste engulfed him, as he flicked the rigid tip with his tongue. He nipped it with his teeth, worried it and Taylor screamed. The sound zipped through him like lightning to sizzle at the head of his cock. He sucked harder, rasped the flat of his tongue over her nipple and swallowed her desperate mewls.

  Her calf rubbed frantically against his thigh, her hips gyrated faster and faster against him. Slade wedged his hand between them to find her core, and she was soaking wet. She was more than ready for him, and he had to get inside of her right then.

  Releasing her nipple with a wet pop, Slade leaned over to grab the condom he saw on the nightstand and quickly sheathed himself. He knelt above her, shoved her legs apart and moved between them. He lifted her hips high until only her shoulders were left on the mattress then positioned himself at her pulsating opening.

  Grinding his teeth, he dug his fingers into the back of her thighs as he fought back the driving need to thrust inside of her. Slade wanted to see her eyes, know that she was okay with what was going on. She was small, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

  “Look at me, Taylor,” he croaked, and her heavy-lidded eyes fluttered open. “Tell me if I hurt you, and I’ll slow down, or stop, or we can try another position.” Slade waited for her nod before thrusting his hips forward. He watched her eyes widen, heard her pained hiss as the head of his cock slipped past the tight band at her opening.

  Her muscles went rigid, her hot walls closed around him and his balls tightened but he held still. Slade had no idea how this worked the other night. She was just too damned small, too tight for him to fit. He pulled back, but she clamped her calves around his waist, and he slid a little further inside her body.

  “Noooo don’t stop!” Taylor shrieked, squirming to try and take more of him inside her body, but Slade’s fingers dug into her hips to stop her, and she let out a frustrated growl. “Give me more dammit!”

  A shiver racked him at the desperation he heard in her words. It matched his own which clawed at his insides, but he didn’t move. “Is that how you ask for what you want from me, little bit? Am I hurting you?” he demanded.

  The words gurgled in her throat before becoming coherent. “No, I just need more, pleeeeease.” A tired sob slipped past her lips and Slade’s fingers loosened on her hips as guilt washed through him.

  He needed to remember it had been a long and harrowing day for both of them. He was tired, she was tired, and it was up to him to either finish this or call it off. One more push would tell him where this was going.

  His fingers curled into her flesh and he pulled her toward him as he jabbed his hips forward planting two more inches of his cock inside her throbbing portal. Taylor rolled her face to the side, moaned as she fisted her hands in the sheet and her body twitched spasmodically around him.

  “Mmm...so good, so damned good,” she moaned heaving short uneven breaths. “Please—please, Slade, give me more.”

  The sound of his name on her lips, the sweet, sensual agony in her voice snapped the leash on his control. Holding her tightly, he pulled her toward him as he slammed his hips forward and Taylor screamed. Suddenly he found himself buried balls-deep inside a silk-lined vise that squeezed him so tightly, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to pull out again. That he’d ever want to. Endorphins and adrenaline marinated his brain, making him lightheaded as he fought for breath in short erratic gasps.

  “You okay?” he asked, barely hearing his voice over the pounding in his ears. Please say yes.

  “Yes, please—I just need you to move!” Her body tremored and her inner muscles thrummed around him, and he knew she was very close to an orgasm, and he was going to help her find it, because he knew one thrust and he’d probably come too.

  He found the engorged bud between her legs with his thumb, applied pressure there and her body jerked violently. Making tight circles around the swollen nub, he quickly had her panting. He added quick juts of his hips, forcing his cock to strike a spot inside her body he knew would get her there fast.

  The incredible friction heated his cock, her breathing became labored, a low-pitched moan rumbled in her chest before moving up to her throat where it became a growl. Suddenly her body tensed and she howled as her inner muscles clamped down around him and she shook uncontrollably. Like hot lava, her body drew come to the end of his dick as Slade lowered her, lengthened his strokes to go deeper, pounded into her faster. With every stroke her sheath became slicker, got hotter. His cock was surrounded by her slick walls, tingling and on fire as her body quivered around him as she continued to orgasm. Fireworks suddenly exploded behind his closed lids, and a rush of pleasure drowned him and he roared as his body seized and he poured into her wet warmth.

  Taylor still shook as he pulled out of her to collapse beside her. He rolled her into his side and held her tightly until the tremors faded. Her breath came out in a whoosh when her body finally stilled and he kissed her hair. Giving her one final squeeze, he took a deep, heady lungful of her floral scent which was made more exotic now by the smell of their lovemaking, by his scent imprinted on her skin.

  With a deep sigh, he pushed her away and forced himself to get out of the bed.

  “Where are you going?” she asked weakly, sounding a little hurt and a lot insecure.

  Slade hardened his heart and plastered over the rawness in his gut with determination as he walked toward the bathroom. “I have to get rid of this condom, then I’m going to sleep on the sofa,” he replied as he walked inside.

  He’d broken a lot of rules with this woman, and was paying for it now. The desire to stay in that bed and cuddle with her right now, to wake up with her in the morning suctioned to his chest wanting him again, was almost as burning as his need to fuck her had been tonight. He wasn’t going to wait until Sunday, Slade had to start weaning himself off of her tonight, building a buffer between them. Because by Sunday, he might be too addicted to her keep his resolve. He had never felt this crazy need for a woman before, the craving to be with her twenty-four hours a day, even Jeannie, and it scared the hell out of him.

  This had moved beyond a physical need now to an emotional one, and that could spell disaster to his peace of mind, hell to his sanity, if he didn’t break it off now.

  While he waited those ninety seconds he had left to live at that hotel, Taylor Kincaid had be
en what he thought about, what he regretted—what he fucking worried about.

  Not his mother, not Lola and not Jeannie.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Taylor would give John Cash Slade, she found out his full name from the forms he filled out at the therapist office during their first visit and got a good laugh at the irony, one final chance to get his shit together. If after today things didn’t change, she would hit enter to send the email that would take her to the small Texas town near the Panhandle where she’d become assistant police chief.

  The job she’d been offered could be the position that set her up to assume a similar position in a larger town later. It was exactly the break she needed to jumpstart her career, but she’d had it on draft in her email for a week.

  Thank goodness Levi had recovered her car from wherever he’d taken it, or had it towed, after he pulled it from the ditch. Both the axle and transmission had been broken, but he fixed them and didn’t charge her a dime. And she’d taken two days drive up to the Panhandle for her interview with the female chief who offered her the job the following day.

  The only draw to remain at the job, which she’d had now for three weeks, had been treating her with cold politeness. Since the night after they rescued Zami Khalil from that motel and he’d come back to his apartment to fuck her senseless then gone to sleep on the sofa, he’d been polite but detached. It was almost like he’d cut her from his life because he’d gotten his fill of her that night, because the next morning he had been a man on a mission to get Dexter’s empty storage room converted into a woman’s barracks for her and Cee Cee to share.

  I have to warn you, I don’t do anything other than casual sex.

  Taylor should have taken him at his word, because it looked to her like he hadn’t lied about that. But he at least owed her an explanation as to why he operated that way. Something had to happen to cause him to adopt that stance.

  Today was Slade’s final EMDR session, and he said the therapist would release him. That totally surprised Taylor, because the therapist told her she needed at least two more sessions to address all of her issues which she wasn’t even aware she had. Most of them were caused by men, her father, Matt and then Mark, so maybe she should adopt the casual sex rule too, or avoid them altogether.

  If Cade Winters is a typical man, I don’t need one. Insert John Cash Slade there, and Cee Cee’s words fit her situation too.

  Slade thanked her for introducing him to EMDR and said he had weaned off of his meds now, and felt like a million bucks without them. After her two sessions herself, Taylor felt like a tarnished penny. Her self-worth and self-confidence was in the toilet because of him. No, that was her own fault. For believing he might change his mind, because she was convinced he felt the connection between them too.

  “You ready?” Slade asked, jerking her from her thoughts.

  Taylor pushed up from the sofa in the living room of the office, and smoothed out the jean skirt that Cee Cee had loaned her. She still hadn’t made the trip to her house to pick up her own clothes. It’s a good thing, because then she’d have two places to pack up when she moved.

  “You finish your phone call?” she asked as she followed Slade to the front door.

  “Yeah, sorry that was Logan, and I had to take it. He and Susan will be back at the end of the week.” The relief in his voice was obvious.

  They walked to the Humvee, and he went to the driver’s side and got in. Taylor moved more slowly getting into her seat, as she thought over how she would open up the conversation she was determined to have with him before they got to the therapist’s office.

  “You okay?” he asked as he cranked the engine. “You’re awfully quiet today and that scares me.” His laugh excited every nerve in her body, but also irritated them too.

  “I have a lot on my mind,” she replied fastening her belt.

  “Where’d you go the two days you took off? Somewhere fun?” he asked conversationally as he backed up, but Taylor thought she heard tension in his tone.

  “It was nice yeah, and productive.” She’d wait until they got on the road. They were already going to be late, because he’d taken that call.

  Slade stopped to hit the release button for the gate, then glanced at her. “Probably a lot more productive than we’ve been around here. Once Logan gets back things will pick up. He’s a genius at finding things to keep us busy, or creating them.”

  He pulled through the gate, and she watched in the sideview mirror as it closed behind them. She had exactly thirty-two minutes to finish this conversation.

  “I was offered another job, so I’m sorry to say I might not be here to meet him,” Taylor said adopting the same business-like tone he’d used with her.

  In her peripheral vision, she saw his hands tighten on the wheel, his body tense which was a good sign wasn’t it? “Did you take it?” he asked gruffly.

  “I’m thinking about it, yeah. It’s a good opportunity, and probably a better fit for me.”

  “What’s the job? Doing what? Where?” he fired off the questions, and Taylor was glad to hear his tone wasn’t quite as placid as it had been.

  “Assistant chief at a small police department in the Panhandle,” Taylor replied vaguely.

  He didn’t need to know where she was going if she decided to leave. She was going to break from him as cleanly as he had broken from her if that happened—she had to.

  “Where in the Panhandle?” he pressed, shooting her a hot glance. His jaw worked, and his hands tightened on the wheel. “I haven’t gotten a call for a reference.”

  “Because I asked her not to call since I still work for Deep Six. She hired me based on my qualifications. Mr. Baker was fired from the hotel, so she spoke to his replacement, my former second-in-command, who gave me a glowing recommendation.”

  “You fucking went job hunting without telling me?” he asked, his foot pressing harder on the gas evidently, because they sped up.

  “Slade, this isn’t any different than any other job search,” she replied coolly. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Taylor was secretly enjoying his agitation. At least he wasn’t being cold to her right now. Angry yes, but not cold.

  “It is different dammit!” he shouted, swerving a little then correcting.

  “How do you figure?” she asked. His eyes pinned her to the seat, his jaw worked, but he didn’t respond. “Tell me, Slade—why do you think I owe you more considering the way you’ve been treating me?”

  “I treated you like any other employee,” he growled.

  “And I treated you like any other boss. That’s what you wanted isn’t it?” Taylor shot back, not able to keep the anger and frustration from her tone.

  They drove for ten full minutes in complete silence, but the air in the cab of the Humvee sizzled with tension. She kind of felt like she did that day at the motel while she waited on pins and needles for the bomb to explode and turn them all to confetti.

  “You did it to hurt me, didn’t you?” he grated, as he moved up the ramp to get on the interstate and she could see him grinding his teeth.

  “Why would it hurt you?” she asked, her own teeth clenched. “You got your casual sex, had your fill of me and we’re done. I accept that.”

  Taylor was surprised, and her heart raced as Slade whipped the Humvee down the next exit ramp. She had to grab the door handle to keep from flying across the cab when he roared through the intersection at the bottom and made a sharp right. He drove for a minute, then swerved into what looked to be a children’s park and killed the engine.

  The bomb had evidently exploded. He turned into the seat to face her, his clean-shaven cheeks ruddy, his eyes livid. “You. Did. This. To. Hurt. Me. Admit it, Taylor!” he ground out.

  “No, but someone in the past evidently hurt you, so you expect it from every woman on earth now. Why don’t you tell me about her?” she replied calmly.

  He blew out a breath, turned to face the wheel again and propped his arms on the wheel to lean over i
t. His back heaved as he breathed, and Taylor waited. If he talked to her, they’d work it out. If he decided to clam up and crank the engine, she would send that email when they got back to the compound.

  “My goddamn face was almost blown off in that explosion and I had a tube in my head to control the swelling in my brain. I was in the hospital in Germany for three months, and it was touch and go,” Slade said, his voice tight. “They sent me back here when I was stable enough for the reconstructive surgery and my girlfriend visited me in the hospital on the day I got home.”

  “She walked out on you?” Taylor filled in, with sickness curling in her gut and her heart shattering for him at how devastated he must’ve been.

  “Took one look at me and almost vomited, before she ran out,” Slade confirmed with a harsh, humorless laugh.

  The rawness in his voice sliced up Taylor’s insides like a razor blade and she wanted to vomit too. To serve his country like a hero, then to come home injured and be treated like that by a woman he obviously loved had to be a worse blow than the explosion. She felt his pain deep inside of her and she understood now.

  “I also found out later she’d been dating one of my friends while I was deployed.”

  A moan slipped from her mouth, and he looked at her. God, the pain in his eyes was too much and hers filled with hot tears. “I’m sorry for making you relive this and I’m sorry if what I did hurt you, Slade.” Her lip trembled as she fought to contain the shit storm of emotion swirling through her. “I promise that wasn’t my intention.”

  He studied her a moment, seemed to look straight into her soul. What she saw in his eyes caused a sharp pain to slice through her. This man might look whole, and he was getting a handle on the ramifications from the explosion, but he hadn’t even addressed the secondary blow dealt him when he got home by his girlfriend.. Until he dealt with those feelings too, that devastation, he would never be able to have a relationship with any woman again.

  “Have you told the therapist about this?” she asked quickly.