Unfiltered

by Payge Galvin

  “Yeah,” I say. I glance at him. “I thought of that on the way up here. What should we do?”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna get up there tomorrow and kick your ass.”

  I return his grin. “I guess we don’t have a choice.” I pound on the mattress. “Why would he do something so stupid? This is all he’s ever wanted, and he just throws it away.”

  “Winning American Voice isn’t all he’s ever wanted,” Luke says quietly.

  I hesitate, not sure I should keep going. “Yes, it is. I’ve known him a long time. He gave up a lot to get here.”

  “You may have known him longer, but maybe I know him better.” Luke leans toward me. “He wanted you, Savannah. More than being on TV and more than being famous. Even more than winning American Voice. He wanted you.”

  It’s like the words just bounce off me. I won’t believe it until I hear Dillon say it. And right now it’s all I can think about. “God, I screwed this up, didn’t I?” I look at Luke through my fingers.

  He nods slowly. “Little bit.”

  I get up and head for the door. “Cover for me if they start looking for me? I’m going to the Skye.”

  Luke puts one hand on the doorway, shouting as I race back down the hall. “I always knew you would.”

  ***

  There are four clerks at the front desk when I arrive, and I say a silent thank you that none of them are the girl from the first night we checked in.

  I step up to an older guy. “Excuse me. I have an envelope for Carlos Bonamassa.”

  The guy clicks on his computer. His smile tells me that I got it right. “Thank you, I’ll make sure he gets it.”

  I pat my bag. “Thanks, but I have to deliver this personally.”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t give out room numbers.”

  “Can you call him? Tell him it’s from American Voice.”

  He raises his eyebrows and steps away from the counter. In what feels like the longest few seconds of my life, he comes back and gestures to a guy in a uniform by the glass doors. “Todd can take you up.”

  “Thank you!” I say before following Todd into the elevator. He swipes a master key into the slot and presses number 15. I know he’s wondering why I’m smiling, but all I can think of is that first day here when neither of us could figure out how to get the elevator to move. It seems like a lifetime ago.

  “Visiting a friend?” Todd asks, glancing down at me.

  I watch the numbers light up over the elevator doors, my heart lurching as we get closer. “Business.” At least I think so.

  Todd leads me partway down the hall and then knocks on a door. It swings open, and I feel a buzz of electricity when I see Dillon standing there barefoot in jeans and a t-shirt.

  “Savannah!” he says, his eyes wide with surprise.

  Todd looks at the two of us. “Everything okay?”

  There’s a moment’s hesitation before Dillon nods. “Yeah. It’s fine—thanks.”

  An awkward silence fills the room as the door shuts behind us, and I have no idea what to do next. I hadn’t figured out anything past how to get up here. Now that I’m in the same room with Dillon I’m not sure what I want, just that I needed to see him. I look out of the big window across the room and remember what it was like that night, when we felt like we had the world at our feet.

  Dillon leans against the desk. “What are you doing here?”

  I force myself to look at him. His eyes seem tired, and there’s several days scruff of beard on his face—not the manicured kind that American Voice likes, but the kind he used to have when shaving wasn’t so much of a priority.

  “I needed to see you,” I say.

  “Okay.” He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me from that safe distance. Dillon’s not going to make this easy.

  “Why did you do it?”

  Dillon stands up straight and folds his arms in front of him. “I didn’t do it.”

  I shake my head. “No…I know you didn’t with Natalie. I didn’t mean that. I meant, why did you throw the competition?”

  He looks skeptical. “Who says I did?”

  “Luke for one. But don’t get mad at him—I kind of barged in and demanded he tell me the truth.”

  “Why do you even care?” he asks. His eyes look dead, without the spark I’m used to, and I’m overwhelmed with guilt. I caused a lot of that—Dillon would have been better off if he’d come here alone.

  “I care,” I say. I look down at the floor to gather the courage for what I have to say next. “I meant everything I said that night. I love you. I always have.”

  I look up to see if he’s listening, but he’s already in front of me. Dillon doesn’t say a word, just cups my face with his hands and bends down, kissing me with such force that I have to take a step backward. It feels as if the whole world melts away inside of that kiss—Natalie, the bag full of drug money, American Voice, and that the only thing in the world that’s worth anything is right here this very second.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, backing away from me, searching my eyes to see what I’m going to do next.

  “I’m not,” I say, reaching up and pulling his head down toward me until our lips meet again. I can feel his sharp inhale as I press into him, not missing the growing bulge in his jeans.

  For a split second I think about what I’m about to do, what I’m about to give up if this is just a one-off thing for him. But I don’t care, I want Dillon, more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, and I’m willing to take that chance. We stand like that, kissing, feeling our lips and tongues together for minutes or hours, I’m not sure, but I want more. Just one time, I want all of him.

  I reach down to stroke the front of his jeans, but Dillon puts out a hand to stop me.

  “Are you sure?” he asks, his breathing shallow as if he’s fighting for control.

  “More sure than I’ve ever been in my life,” I say. I feel him shaking as I run my hand up his thigh and lead him to the bed where he sits down on the edge and looks up at me.

  Dillon takes control now, slowly sliding his hands up my shirt before pulling it over my head and dropping it to the floor. His eyes devour my body as his fingers slide over my skin, first hooking one strap over my shoulder, and then the other until he can slide my bra down and unhook it from the back before dropping it next to my shirt.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, holding one of my breasts in his hand and tracing the nipple with his tongue. I feel a jolt of electricity rush through my body as his mouth touches me, and I push him back on the bed, wrestling the shirt off so I can see his smooth, tan chest and trace the veins that run down his muscled arms.

  He bites his lip as my hands explore his body, running my fingers over his flat stomach until I find his belt. “No. Wait,” he says, as I fumble with the buckle.

  In one smooth motion he changes positions with me so that I’m lying on my back looking up at him. I can see his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows hard and says, “I want this to last.”

  Dillon’s eyes are intense as he slides my jeans over my hips and off the edge of the bed. “My God,” he whispers, tucking one finger under the lace of my underwear and tracing the outline of the elastic before pulling them gently down until I’m lying naked on the bed below him. I can feel the wet between my legs as I look at him, but I can tell that he’s deliberately taking his time, making every moment count.

  A slight moan escapes his lips as he plants kisses on my neck, tracing my collarbone with his tongue and running his hands lightly over my breasts. My nipples are already rock-hard when he takes them in his mouth one by one, teasing the skin until I can’t help but squirm, my entire body on fire with want. My heart is pounding as he traces my stomach with his tongue, parting my clit with his finger before covering it with slow, gentle kisses. It feels like bees are swarming in my head when I feel his tongue on me, a burning, throbbing all over as he licks in just the right places, causing me to arch up to meet hi
s mouth, my fingers raking through his hair. I can feel myself hovering on the edge, but I don’t want to go, not yet. He puts one finger inside me, and I gasp, but then I push away from him. Not yet. I want us to do this together.

  “Wait,” I whisper, reaching up to undo the belt on his jeans. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

  Dillon hesitates, then reaches around to pull his wallet out of his jeans. I push the jeans off of him, running my fingers over the deep indentations on the side of his hips until I can see him straining against his grey boxer briefs as the jeans fall to the floor. With one finger, I pull at the elastic of his shorts until he pushes free, just as big and hard as I always imagined he’d be. I grab the condom that’s in his hand and rip it open, hearing him moan as I roll it on, his arms shaking as he tries to hold himself off of me.

  I position myself back under Dillon—his eyes search mine before he lowers himself down and covers my mouth with kisses deeper than I’ve ever felt before. I reach down and cup him with my hand, guiding the length of him into me and hearing him gasp as I take him all the way, filling up all of my empty spaces until our bodies are pressed together as close as we’ll ever be. He doesn’t move for a few seconds, just stays in that position, but then lifts himself off of me a tiny bit, just enough to get his hand between us, his fingers finding the perfect spot as he gently starts to thrust against me. I can feel him deep inside as his fingers rub my clit, our breathing heavy and synchronized as we push faster and faster, my insides on fire as the wave crashes over me and then Dillon a split second later, both of us gasping and clenching as we come in a riot of moans and shivers.

  Dillon’s chest is slick with sweat as he rolls off of me, pulling me to him and wrapping himself completely around my body. I lie there, totally content, reliving what just happened in my head while listening to the pumping of his heart. We fit together perfectly, my head on his chest, his legs wrapped around mine as we watch the sun set behind the red hills out the window.

  “I love you, Savannah Miller,” Dillon whispers, shifting positions and tucking me into the curve of his body.

  My breath comes fast as I realize what he said. I press into him, my back against his belly and try to forbid the tears that are forming in my eyes.

  I’m not sure I can find my voice, but it finally comes out as a hoarse whisper. “I love you, Dillon Varga.”

  Chapter 14

  Dillon

  It’s totally dark out when I wake up to a faint buzzing noise. It takes a second to remember where I am, until I feel Savannah’s hair under my chin. Her body’s pressed up against mine, and as I run through the events of this evening I can feel myself getting hard again. Savannah’s here, right now, naked in my bed. It’s hard to believe after all these years. The phone buzzes again, and I roll over to look at the time. 9:07.

  Savannah stirs and makes a sound like a kitten as she wakes up, turning her head to look at me. “Hello there,” she smiles, rolling over to face me, wrapping her legs around mine as she reaches up to kiss me.

  I let go of the tiny bit of tension I’ve been holding, wondering if everything from before was a mistake, that somehow she’d changed her mind.

  She reaches down and strokes the length of me, sending up a shiver so big it probably qualifies as a tremor. There’s nothing I want more than a repeat performance, to have her in my bed all night, to explore every inch of her body, but the buzzing sound brings me back to reality.

  “I think that’s your phone,” I say.

  “Let it go,” Savannah says, her lips on mine.

  I pull away from her, using every ounce of strength I’ve got. “What if it’s the show?” I see her purse on the desk by the door so I climb out of bed to get it. “What are you looking at?” I say, as she stares at me standing naked in the middle of the hotel room.

  “Just you,” she says, shrugging. “And thinking about how happy I am right this minute.”

  I climb back in bed with the purse, her phone vibrating louder inside. “Me too,” I say, tucking my arm under her head. “But right now, you need to get your phone.”

  “Fine,” she says, digging through the bag to find it. “It’s Luke.”

  I sit up straighter. “What did he say?”

  She flips through the screens and sighs. “They’re calling an emergency meeting at 10pm.”

  I’m already pushing the covers back. “You’d better go.”

  But Savannah makes no move to get up. “Just like I thought. I sleep with you, and then you rush me on out of here. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.”

  I turn on her, ready to explain that it’s not the way it is, not anymore—until I turn and see her shit-eating grin. She’s joking.

  “Lucky for you,” I say, pulling the jeans onto my legs and fishing her black lacy underwear from the pile of clothes. “We’ll have all kinds of time to do this again.” I give her my best leer. “And again. And again.”

  Savannah leans over on her stomach and draws a fingernail down my naked back. “I hope so.”

  I turn and push her down against the mattress, diving in to kiss her neck while she squeals. “I know so.” God, I want her to stay. I bounce off the bed and grab her clothes, tossing them to her before I change my mind. “Now get the hell out of my bed and get back to American Voice.”

  Savannah sits up and slips her bra on. Which, for some reason, gets me even more turned on than having her there naked. Focus.

  “I don’t want to do the show without you,” she says.

  “I’m going to be there,” I say. “Just because they won’t let me on the stage doesn’t mean I can’t sneak in and watch from the audience.” I pull my shirt over my head.

  “Why did you do it?” she asks quietly, slipping into her jeans. “Were you afraid of beating me?”

  “No! God, no. You deserve to be in the finals.” I take a deep breath. For once in my life, I have to be honest. “I did it because you and Luke have all these people in the audience and at home who are cheering you on. All of these people who love you and want you to win. It’s so much more important to everyone that you two are in the finals.”

  There’s a beat of silence until she adds, “And there’s nobody here for you?”

  I clench my jaw and shake my head. “It’s fine. Really. I’m used to it. Besides, I just wanted to get on the show. Winning doesn’t matter all that much to me.”

  Savannah gets up and puts both arms around my neck, kissing me behind the ear. “I’m here for you.”

  I don’t know what to say to that, and I’m halfway afraid that if I open my mouth I’m going to start blubbering like a stupid baby. I just lift her hand and kiss her palm.

  Her phone buzzes again, and I stand up, pulling her to her feet in front of me. “Right now, you need to get your gorgeous little ass back to your hotel and sit quietly in that meeting. I’ll be there tomorrow, cheering you on from the audience.”

  “Okay,” she agrees.

  Savannah slips her shoes on her feet. At the door, she reaches up and pulls me down for one more kiss. “I love you,” she whispers.

  “I love you too,” I say back. The words feel so strange in my mouth. Before today, I can’t remember the last time I said them to anyone.

  I watch as Savannah walks down the hall, turning twice to wave at me until she hits the elevators and is out of sight. I close the door behind me and survey the room. It looks like sex—everything crumpled and damp. But I know that for once it’s more than that. I lie down on top of the bed just to close my eyes for a second, but before I realize it, I’m totally out, sleeping deeper than I have in years.

  ***

  The lobby of the theater is buzzing when I get there the next day, and I know that if I wade through the crowd of press and reporters there’s no way I’m going to be able to sneak in. Dillon and Natalie are the hottest news item in town right now and I’m glad that I got to talk to Savannah before she started to believe all of the rumors. She’s been texting me all morning, and I’ve kept every one
, barely daring to believe that it all really happened.

  I walk to the stage door and see Jim sitting on his stool.

  “Hey, Dillon,” he says, giving me a strong handshake. “What are you doing here?”

  I nod toward the lobby. “ I wanted to watch the show, but it’s a zoo out there.”

  He shakes his head sadly. “You know I can’t let you backstage. Not with all the shit that’s been flying around here today.”

  “I know. But can I just use this door to go down the side entrance to the theater? That way I can just grab a seat and nobody will notice me. Please, Jim.”

  Jim grins. “I could lose my job.”

  “You won’t! I promise.”

  He leans forward. “So what was she like?”

  I stop, suspicious. He doesn’t mean Savannah, does he?

  “Natalie Greer,” he says, nudging me in the side.

  I grin at him as I slip through the stage door. “I’ll never tell.”

  “Attaboy!” he says, closing it behind me.

  I keep my head down and pray that nobody notices me as I skirt the stage and drop down into the theater. It’s still early and not that many people are in their seats, so I walk up to the very back row and take a seat a few in from the aisle. I scoot down in the seat as low as I can and pretend to be absorbed in my phone. The main doors open, and the seats start to fill with the hum and excitement of people talking about the show. At least I hope that’s what they’re talking about. I’m trying hard not to notice.

  “Dillon Varga?” A woman’s voice asks. I sigh and glance up to see an expensively dressed woman with short brown hair and dark skin sliding into the seat next to me.

  I lean over and am enveloped in her perfume. “Yeah…but I’m really trying to be incognito here, so if you don’t mind—”

  She holds up one hand with a giant diamond on the ring finger. “Totally understand. Don’t worry; I won’t blow your cover.”

  The techs are finishing the lighting on the stage, and I can feel the excitement building in the room. “Are you here for Luke or Savannah?” I ask once I’m sure she’s not going to grill me about the Natalie thing.