In the Absence of Monsters

by Jp Barnaby

  “You define my identity. Am I a Dom if I have no sub? I don’t believe that I am, for there is no one to dominate. You are my dream, my goal and my purpose. To mold you and shape you is what I strive for. Without you, I have no control,” he finished in a whisper while stroking my hair. He was trying to tell me how much I meant to him, in the only way that he could. The longing in his voice was almost tangible and, for the first time, I saw into Ethan’s soul…how giving up that control seemed to frighten him. I found myself wanting to touch him now, to reassure him. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in a position to do that.

  “I never wanted a male sub,” he confessed, still stroking my hair. I imagined that it was easier for him to talk to me like this when he couldn’t see my eyes. Even though I couldn’t see him, I imagined that beautiful crooked smile of his. “I never had any interest in the men that Nicole brought around to play with. Then, I heard your voice on the phone and when I saw you walking up to my house…there was something indefinable about you, something that drew me to you.” His lips were at my neck now, grazing it lightly and I shivered. “There is something about you that makes me so fucking hard.” I moaned softly behind the gag. “Shall we get on to your punishment?” I nodded and tried to reply, but the gag muffled the words.

  Then he was gone from my side and didn’t return for several minutes. My senses tingled as I waited for him, not knowing if he was just standing off to the side watching me or if he was preparing something. While I waited, I felt a warm breeze float across my naked flesh and the strain in my arms and legs as I worked to maintain my position. The leather cuffs had begun to dig into my wrists. Finally, I heard a noise behind me, but did not set me at ease. It sounded like scratching and then a low dull burst of air. For some reason, these sounds brought back mental images of high school chemistry and Bunsen burners. Bunsen burners. Oh my God.

  I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself to calm down. What the fucking hell was he doing? I hadn’t signed on to be tortured. What the hell was I going to do now? I couldn’t use my safe word, I couldn’t yell or scream or plead with him. I couldn’t do anything except stand here and take whatever he was going to do to me.

  “Jayden, do you feel what I’m putting into your hand?” he asked and I felt something cylindrical and metal being placed into my opened palm. I nodded, unable to think of anything else to do. “This is a panic button. If you want me to stop, just press this button and it will emit a loud noise. You will use this in place of your safe word since you are gagged. Do you understand?” I nodded again and felt him place my thumb on a button, which I almost pressed right then. I was so terrified. But I knew Ethan, I trusted him, he wouldn’t give me more than I could handle.

  “Are you ready?” I knew whatever it was – it was going to be bad. He had never asked me if I was ready before. I didn’t know if he was doing this to build up the anticipation and the fear or if I really needed to brace myself. So, I braced myself.

  Something hot – something very hot was dropped onto my naked buttocks and I screamed into the gag. It must have been liquid, because I felt it running down over my skin for just a second before it dried. The cool air wafting across the burning area felt good and the pain dulled. When he repeated the process on the other side, I was more prepared for it. Somewhere in the sensation-induced haze, it occurred to me that he was dripping hot wax on me. It also occurred to me that I was entirely aroused by it. After repeating the action a few more times on each side, he moved down to the tops of my thighs, just below my buttocks, where I had always been sensitive. When the wax dripped onto my skin, I could have hit the ceiling. He was very careful with his targeting and I felt the wax flow just between my spread thighs, but not too far. And then, it was over.

  He set down something on a nearby table and returned to me, beginning a treatment on me that would have brought me to my knees if I weren’t so tightly bound. First, I felt ice being placed on top of the wax. It felt good against my burning skin. Then, he peeled off the wax and placed ice cold feather light kisses where it had been. The thought of Master Ethan on his knees behind me, running an ice cube over my enflamed buttocks with his mouth and then kissing my skin, sent me into a near frenzy. I moaned into the gag and pushed my hips back as much as I could in my position. Then, as I brought up the baseball teams in my head, he started on my thighs. It was all I could do to keep a hold of myself and, had I not have been gagged, I would have begged him to let me come.

  Then he was gone again and I felt his presence in front of me. He removed my blindfold and I saw that he was smiling. Kneeling, he kissed my forehead, my cheeks and my chin. I had a feeling he would have kissed my lips if they had been free. “You please me so entirely,” he said and my heart swelled. “You bore that very well, Jayden. You deserve a reward.” Standing, he unbuttoned the panel in his pants, his erection springing from them, swollen and hard.

  “Is this what you desire?”

  I nodded quickly and was surprised to find that this was true…I wanted him. Every fiber of my being wanted him inside me. “Then you shall have it, but we need to move you. If I take you in this position, we could dislocate your shoulders,” he said with a wry smile as he untied me, rubbing my shoulders, my arms and my legs. Looking around, I noticed a portable propane blow torch and several large taper candles. I shuddered and then he was pulling me over to the thick mats in the back of the room.

  Positioning me on my hands and forearms with my naked buttocks in the air, my legs spread wide, I felt so exposed, so wanton. It took a few minutes for him to join me on the mat. When I turned my head slightly and caught sight of him I gasped. He was completely nude and utterly beautiful. Incredibly, I got harder as I felt him preparing me with his fingers. While he spread the lubricant inside me, I held still. Then, I felt the head of his beautiful hard cock against my anus and I moaned.

  “Is this what you want, Jayden?” he murmured, as he pushed marginally into me. For the first time ever, I pushed my hips back into him, arching my back. Master stopped in surprise and I felt his fingers clench on my hips.

  “Please…” I begged and tried moving my hips again.

  “Please what, Jayden?” he asked, but I was beyond the capability for rational thought.

  “Please Sir…” I cried, my erection painful now.

  “Tell me what you want, Jayden,” he requested. His voice low and strained while he held my hips so I couldn’t move back against him, I could just feel him inside me and it was making me insane.

  “Please, Master Ethan…” I moaned again as I pressed my forehead to the cool mat. “Please fuck me.” Without another word, he entered me slowly and fully, setting a steady pace, moaning softly at each full stroke. God, it felt so good.

  “You want it, don’t you? You little slut. You want my cock in your ass,” he commented in a completely primal voice. My hips began to move and I drove him deeper into me.

  “Yeah, fuck my ass…” I moaned and I realized that I meant it. I wanted him, I craved him. Since I had walked into the room, everything I did was working towards this. He slapped my ass hard and I added a quick “Sir,” though I had already been reduced to soft whimpering cries as his thrusts sped.

  “Play with yourself, you little whore. I want to hear you come for me,” he panted, and I realized he was close. Resting my weight on one forearm, my other hand went to my throbbing cock. Grasping myself firmly in my fist, I stroked myself in time with his thrusts, my moans getting louder and more incoherent as my orgasm approached. Not bothering to attempt to delay it, I knew that would be a wasted effort. I needed it, as surely as I needed air to breathe.

  As my whimpers turned into desperate cries, I felt his hand on the back of my head, jerking sharply, turning my head so he could watch my face. The sharpness in his actions caused my cock to jump in my hand as I screamed my release. Jet after jet of my come sprayed onto the mat beneath me and I just kept moving my hips, thrusting into my hand. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally stopped and I held
myself up on shaky arms as he continued thrusting into my ass.

  Abruptly, he drove into me hard enough to push me onto the mat, my ass pushed slightly into the air while coming deep inside me. I felt him panting on the back of my neck as he whimpered and cried out his overwhelming need as he filled me and I welcomed it. And then he was still, his forehead resting on my back just below my shoulder blades. I felt the softest of kisses breathed up my spine before he moaned, “Fuck Jayden,” softly into my neck and then he collapsed next to me on the mat.

  I continued to lie on my stomach and looked over at him. His eyes were closed and I took the opportunity to look over his naked sculpted body. Never in my life had I ever been attracted to men before, but there was just something about him. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and grinned and then he was on top of me, pinning me to the mat. Shocked, I looked up at him hovering over me. He tilted his head to the side, like he was thinking of something and then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. Without hesitation, he kissed me deeply, stroking my face and I responded in kind. Our mouths moved in a synchronous rhythm and I felt it everywhere. His tongue slid into my mouth as he deepened the kiss. I had no idea where this was coming from, but it felt so good. I could feel every inch of his naked body pressed against mine and I moaned softly against his mouth. He pulled back slightly looking into my face and said, “I’m glad you stayed, Jayden.” I nodded and he kissed my forehead before rolling off me and standing up.

  As he cleaned up from our session he said, “We’ll be having a session with Lexi tomorrow. Be in this room by six in the evening. You will get the second half of your punishment. You may go.”

  “So, I heard you decided to stay?” A soft voice asked from the doorway and I looked up from my textbook. Lexi was standing there in faded jeans and a light blue tank top. She looked soft and feminine with her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. I smiled back at her.

  “Yeah, someone has to keep Ethan in line,” I said, and she laughed, but then her face fell a little.

  “You wanted me to come to New York?” I asked, trying to gauge the look on her face. That surprised me. It’s not that I thought that Lexi didn’t want to be my friend, I’m just taken aback that my staying would disappoint her. She continued to look at my carpeting, so I got up and walked over to her. I put my fingers under her chin and pulled her face up to look at me. Our eyes met and I saw something spark there for just a moment and then it was gone.

  “No actually, as much as I wanted a friend in New York with me, I think it’s better for you that you stay. You’re so new to our lifestyle and Ethan is one of the best trainer Doms in the area,” she said softly, and smiled with something that looked like pride. She was proud of her Dom. “Did you notice the differences between Nicole and Ethan? There are a lot of Doms that require that their subs already be trained when they collar them. They don’t want to go through the time and effort of training them; they just want a ready-made toy. Ethan takes on people new to the lifestyle and trains them, acclimates them and then lets them move on. He is patient and affectionate. He makes you want to please him.”

  “I’m not ready to give this up yet and I came to this school as an undergrad so I could associate myself with the professors. It gave me a better chance of getting into grad school here,” I remarked. Of course, that wasn’t my only reason to stay, but it was a consideration. “I did notice a difference between the other Doms and Ethan – and I trust Ethan. I want to stay with him until I feel more secure in my role. But you think it’s better for me to stay with Ethan because of my training?” I asked. “It’s not just because you don’t want me around?” I teased and her breathing hitched just once before I saw the tears start to leak from the corners of her eyes. “Lexi, honey…I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” I enveloped her in my arms and held her while her tears consumed her.

  “I’m going to…m…miss you guys…s…so much,” she said between deep shuddering breaths while I stroked her hair. I hadn’t realized how hard this separation was going to be on her. She was alone in the world and the two people that cared most about her were going to be on the other side of the country. That had to be hard to accept. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for her, having no family. She had no siblings and I knew from our conversations that her parents had died. Lexi was less shy now that her confidence had been built by years of submission, but making friends was still hard for her. I wondered if she’d keep in touch with anyone from here except Ethan and me.

  “You’ll be fine, darlin’, and we’ll be right here whenever you need us. Okay? I’ve already set up the stuff on my computer; we can talk whenever you want. You know – you don’t even have to go if you don’t want to. You could stay here with us, honey,” I said softly, pressing my lips to her forehead. She nodded against my lips and then dropped her head to my shoulder. I held her for a long time, just letting her cry.

  “I’m hungry,” she said suddenly and I had to laugh.

  “And on a completely different subject…” I said and she laughed too. “Come on, sweetheart, I’ll buy you dinner. Being Ethan’s whore pays pretty well.” She stopped laughing and sighed.

  “Have you heard from her?” she asked, pulling out of my grasp so she could see my face.

  “No,” I replied, taking her hand. “Where do you want to eat?”

  “You need to work things out with her, Jayden. She’s your sister and you never know what could happen.” She looked away.

  “Lexi, honey, can I ask you what happened? With your parents, I mean…” I took her back into my arms and letting her rest her head on my chest, cradling her face in my hand as she spoke.

  “They were coming back from their anniversary dinner. Daddy lost control of the car on some black ice and they went over an embankment. They were killed on impact when their car landed upside down at the bottom. I was twelve. Our next door neighbor had a son my age and they took me in until I graduated and left for college. I met Ethan soon after.” She shrugged, but her nonchalance was betrayed by the look of pain that swept over her face. I squeezed her and placed another tender kiss on her forehead.

  “We need to go if we’re going to get back here by six for Ethan.” I glanced at my watch. “I still have another round of punishment tonight and I certainly don’t want to upset him by being late.”

  We were both naked and in position when the appointed time came. I was kneeling proudly on the hardwood floor with my back straight, head high. I was looking at the floor though; I didn’t want to give him any reason to be displeased with me tonight. We held our poses, not looking at each other for what seemed like another ten minutes before Master Ethan finally entered the room. As he usually did, he walked over and turned on the classical music.

  “Lexi, did Jayden tell you about the dream he had a few nights ago?” Ethan asked in a silky voice and Lexi shook her head. “No? It was very interesting. Jayden bound and gagged me, whipped me and fucked me. Does that sound like something I would let him do, Lexi?” She shook her head again and I wondered why he was asking her and where this was leading. I started to get an uneasy feeling.

  “Well, obviously this is something that the boy thinks about. Did he also not tell you that he satisfied his own urges afterwards?” Master Ethan asked her with a smirk. Lexi shook her head, trembling now. “Well, I think we should help him out, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Master Ethan,” Lexi replied as he ran his hands over her naked breasts absently.

  “Jayden, how did you position me in your dream? Where was I?” he asked, looking up at me when I didn’t answer. His look told me that I had no choice but to answer. It would be worse for me if I didn’t.

  “In the posture restraint,” I said, blushing, and then he quirked one eyebrow and I looked away. He knew that in my dream I had put him there to punish him for my humiliation. I just wanted him to whip me, as he was apparently going to do, so that we could put it behind us.

  “Go get it from the closet,” he said, while walking to the back wa
ll. After I had pulled the restraint from the closet, he returned with a flogger and what I assumed was a different kind of gag. Rather than a ball, it had a large circle in the center. I braced myself, feeling a little apprehensive, until he grasped Lexi by the arm and lifted her, spinning her to face me. Her eyes were wide and I watched slightly horrified as he began to buckle her into the restraint. This was supposed to be my punishment, not hers. Not hers! I almost said my safe word then, but I knew it would not help her and it would only enrage him, so I kept quiet and looked at the floor, ashamed that my behavior was going to warrant Master Ethan punishing Lexi.

  “Like this, Jayden?” he inquired and I looked up. Lexi’s eyes were closed and her head was held high by the collar. The gag in her mouth held it open and she was breathing deeply. Her breasts were pushed forward by the metal bar and cuffs…I saw when he turned her. A small cylindrical metal object was held tightly in her hand, her thumb on the panic button. I nodded silently, unable to speak.

  “Were my legs bound?” he asked harshly and I shook my head. “Lexi, you are going to want to take a wider stance and brace yourself.” Then, he looked down at me. “Come here, Jayden.” Apprehensively, I rose next to him as he moved behind Lexi, facing her towards the full length mirror on the wall.