Tall, Dark and Tempting
Page 11
And that’s all he got, just a cordial acknowledgement before she turned back to Daisy to take Baby Isabella into her arms to talk and play with her while chatting with the other two women.
The hours seemed to drag on for Dylan. He visited with the family friends who came by, and ate the catered lunch his mother had provided for everyone. His gaze was constantly on Serena, and even a few times he’d caught her looking at him with what he’d swear was longing, but just when he thought about approaching her, she turned away again, and that stopped him cold every damn time.
“What’s going on between you and Serena?” Leo asked when Dylan had retreated to the back porch for fresh air, and also so he didn’t have to subject himself to seeing Serena or hearing her laugh at something someone else said.
Leaning against the railing enclosing the deck, Dylan kept his gaze averted to the landscaped backyard so he didn’t have to meet his brother’s too perceptive gaze. It was annoying enough that he’d felt that stare on him for most of the afternoon.
“Nothing is going on,” he said, keeping his tone neutral. “Everything is fine.”
Leo snickered sarcastically. “Oh, is that why the tension between the two of you is nearly tangible and you won’t get within touching or speaking distance of one another? Not to mention the way you keep looking at her like you’re a love-sick puppy?”
Jesus, he couldn’t even deny the unflattering comparison. “Don’t be a dick,” he muttered irritably.
“Then don’t be a fucking idiot,” his brother shot back, which finally made Dylan turn his head to look at Leo. “Clearly, something major happened, because I’ve never seen you two avoid each other like the plague. Serena has always worn her heart on her sleeve when it comes to you, but today, she looks like a woman who’s had that same heart trampled all over. It’s awkward as fuck and I want to know what you did to drive her away.”
Dylan huffed out a breath and dragged his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t drive her away,” he said, his tone gruff. “She walked away. It was her decision, not mine.” But in truth, he’d never given her a reason to stay. He could have most likely stopped her with the right words, but emotional verbiage was not his forte.
“Does this have anything to do with the night the two of you spent together in Vegas?”
Dylan’s brows shot up in surprise. “How do you know about that?”
“Eric is my business partner. I work with him every single day,” Leo said, outing the other man. “Not only did he tell me that the two of you slept together, he also mentioned that you dragged him to trivia night and that you had the equivalent of a pissing match with her date.”
Dylan inwardly winced, knowing that hadn’t been one of his finer moments.
“So, what are you going to do about this situation with Serena?” Leo pressed. “Because you can’t let it go on like this.”
No shit, he thought in annoyance. “Did I ask for your opinion on the matter?” he snapped.
“No, you didn’t ask, but I’m going to give it to you anyway,” his brother replied, completely unfazed by Dylan’s grumpy attitude. “When are you finally going to pull your head out of your ass and realize that Serena belongs to you and the two of you were meant for one another?”
“She doesn’t belong to me,” he argued, glancing away again.
His brother smacked him alongside the back of his head with a loud thump, and not gently. The slap was hard enough that Dylan glared at Leo, a little pissed off. “What the fuck was that for?”
“To get your goddamn attention,” Leo stated impatiently. “And because I want you to listen to me and let this sink into your thick, nerdy brain before you really lose the best thing in your life. Have you ever wondered, really wondered, why Serena hasn’t already settled down with someone?”
Dylan smirked. The answer to that question was an easy one. “Because all the guys she’s dated have been dicks or assholes?”
“Okay, yeah, there have been a few of those,” Leo agreed with a laugh. “But I think there has always been a bigger reason that no man has ever been good enough, even the really suitable ones she’s come across. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe those guys don’t measure up to Serena’s expectations because they aren’t you?”
“The thing is, I don’t measure up,” Dylan replied, rolling his rigid shoulders. “She’s a woman who wants the whole entire fairy tale and happily-ever-after, and when have I ever been able to give that to any woman? Never, because it’s always been easier for me to let the relationship end.” Except for Serena, who, until now, had always been a constant in his life. “What if I try a real relationship with Serena and end up fucking it all up or hurting her in the long run?” It was thoughts like that that paralyzed him with fear.
“You’ve already done that, asshole.” Leo studied him seriously. “Look, there are no guarantees for the long run, Dylan, and there are going to be times that you screw up. And I get that giving someone all of your heart is not an easy thing to do, but have you looked around at our family lately?” Leo asked, glancing back inside the glass slider to the kitchen and the people they loved most mingling there. “You’ve got Aiden, who swore he’d never settle down, and now he’s married with a kid and already talking about having more. And if I can get dumped at the altar on my wedding day and still find the true love of my life with Peyton, then there’s hope for you, too. And then there’s Mom, who’s been through hell with Dad and her cancer scare, but has found a guy who treats her like a queen and is going to marry her and give her everything she deserves. She’s found love again, and it’s bigger and stronger than it ever was with Dad. Trust me when I tell you that you already love Serena, that she’s your forever girl. She always has been.”
“And what happens if I can’t give her what she needs?” he asked, not fully convinced because he wanted what was best for Serena. Forget about himself.
“For a guy who’s so intelligent, you’re incredibly stupid about some things,” Leo said with humor. “Dylan, you are what she needs. And you need her. You always have.”
Dylan couldn’t refute that, but it was difficult to squash the doubts that lingered.
“I want you to imagine something,” Leo said after a few quiet minutes had passed. “Imagine watching Serena walking down the aisle at her wedding . . . to another man. How does that make you feel?”
Like he wanted to puke. “Fine,” he forced out. “I’d feel fine.”
“And when that other guy puts a ring on her finger and she commits the rest of her life to him, until death do they part, how does that make you feel?”
Absolutely dead inside. “I’ll be happy for her. It’s what she deserves.” He forced the words out, because wasn’t that what he’d been telling himself all this time?
“Bullshit,” his brother muttered. “And what about what you deserve?” Leo pushed on. “Don’t you deserve a woman who makes you happy the way Serena does?”
Dylan shook his head and rubbed his hand down his face. “I don’t know what I deserve anymore. I just know I can’t keep hurting Serena, but not having her in my life is killing me, too.”
“Then put a goddamn ring on her finger already,” his brother said, clapping him on the back. “Trust me, you’re all she needs, but she needs all of you, not just a half-assed version of yourself that’s scared to put your heart on the line for her.”
Leo’s words stayed with Dylan for the rest of the afternoon, rolling around in his head and giving him the time he needed to build up the courage to take that leap of faith. As the party finally came to an end and everyone was gone but immediate family, his mother, Grace, came into the kitchen, where everyone was gathered, along with Charles, and placed an old-style photo album on the island counter.
“What a day,” his mother said, all smiles and beaming radiantly.
“We’re all so happy for both of you,” Peyton said, giving Grace a warm hug. “You two are clearly meant for one another.”
“I do have to
say that love has been so much sweeter the second time around,” Grace said with a content sigh as she stared into Charles’ eyes. “I can’t wait to marry this man of mine.”
Charles drew her close and placed an affection kiss on her temple. “The honor will be all mine, sweetheart.”
Aiden groaned. “Okay, you two, if you don’t quit, we’re going to have to insist you get a room.”
A bright pink blush stained Dylan’s mother’s cheeks, and she turned back to the photo album she’d brought into the kitchen. “I came across something while I was going through old boxes that brought back some fun memories and made me smile. Dylan and Serena, come here. I want to show you this.”
Serena reluctantly moved next to Grace, and Dylan stood next to Serena, close enough that he could inhale the floral scent of her shampoo and feel the warmth of her body next to his. His fingers itched to touch, but he didn’t dare give in to the temptation.
“This is a scrapbook I made of the two of you growing up,” Grace said, flipping the book open to the first page, which showed pictures of Dylan and Serena as toddlers playing in a plastic pool together, splashing each other and having fun.
He caught Serena’s melancholy smile, while Daisy and Peyton crowded around to get a better look and awww’d in unison. His mother turned the page, revealing images of them a bit older, around four, eating cupcakes Grace had made and smearing frosting in each other’s face. Everyone laughed and made jokes but Serena, who seemed to be trying very hard not to show her emotions.
More pictures as they grew up together . . . with Serena all frilly in a princess outfit that his mother had made for her to wear for Halloween, and him in a Disney prince costume, which he did not look happy about getting stuck with—and his brothers were currently teasing him about. He clearly remembered wanting to be a superhero villain instead, but the sweet, adoring expression captured on Serena’s face as she looked at him was pure infatuation, and her crush on him had started around then, which Dylan had been oblivious to at the time.
His mother had captured a photo of the two of them lying in the grass in Dylan’s backyard, their heads close together as they stared up at the clouds and pointed out all the different shapes and images they’d found—with him holding her hand as if she’d belonged to him even then. More fun, casual pictures through middle school, with Dylan’s arm slung over her shoulder and those pretty blue eyes once again gazing up at him as if he’d hung the moon and stars for her.
Yes, it was clear for everyone in the room to see that Serena had worn her heart on her sleeve for him. And he’d been a clueless kid.
The album ended just as high school began, and that significance wasn’t lost on Dylan, because that’s when his feelings for Serena started to change, when he’d become aware of her as more than just his best pal, and desire and teenage lust had him noticing the new, shapely curves of her body. When the urge to kiss her became too unbearable, he’d focused on other girls instead. He’d deliberately spent less time with Serena and firmly kept her in the friend zone because of his fear of losing her.
Now, he realized he’d fallen in love with her back then, and years later, those feelings had only grown stronger and deeper, despite his attempts to keep them tucked away, always to protect Serena from himself. But the truth was, nobody could ever compare to her, and nobody ever would.
His mother closed the book and pushed it toward Serena. “I thought you might like to keep this, since it’s pictures of you and Dylan.”
Serena bit her bottom lip, which quivered slightly, and shook her head. “I appreciate the gesture. I really do. But I think Dylan should take it,” she said, her voice husky, as if she were holding back tears. But then she exhaled a deep breath and pasted on a smile. “It’s been a wonderful party, but it’s getting late and I really should go.”
Dylan recognized her abrupt departure for what it was—an excuse to put distance between them, to lessen the pain she was so obviously feeling. It was a Saturday evening and it wasn’t as though she had to work the next day. He watched as she made the rounds, saying goodbye and hugging each person in the family . . . except him. Hell, she wouldn’t even look his way, and when she walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the guest room, where the girls had left their purses, his brother Leo shot him a look that said, It’s now or never.
It was definitely now. With everyone staring expectantly at him, clearly waiting to see what his next move would be, he followed the direction that Serena had just taken.
12
Serena heard the sound of soft, padded footsteps into the guest room, and certain it was either Peyton or Daisy checking up on her, she quickly dashed away the tears that had slipped from the corners of her eyes after that too emotional trip down memory lane, which only reminded her of what she would never have with Dylan. The boy she’d grown up with, the teenager she’d had a crush on, and the man she’d fallen in love with.
She turned around, startled to find Dylan standing there instead. She didn’t say a word, but as he closed the distance between them, her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest.
“Serena,” he said, so softly, so tenderly that it threw her more off-kilter than she already was. And when he picked up her hand and clasped his warm ones around it, her first reaction was to try and pull it back.
He held it tighter, not letting her escape. “Please, just listen to me, okay?”
She didn’t say anything, mostly because her throat felt too tight, but figured since she wasn’t walking away from him, that ought to be enough of an answer for him. She was here. She’d listen. But she wasn’t sure there was anything left to say.
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “I handled things very poorly that morning at your place, and I’m so sorry. I never should have let you walk away from me. I never should have left without telling you how I feel.”
For a moment, she held her breath, wondering if he’d finally say the words she desperately longed to hear him say.
“I care about you so much,” he said, his voice as sincere as the look in his eyes. “We’re good together, and you know me better than anyone else. You’re my person, and I want you, and only you.”
There was no I love you to be found anywhere in that sentence. The hope that had blossomed in Serena’s chest wilted. The man standing in front of her was speaking logically and practically, his words coming from that pragmatic brain of his, and not his heart, where it mattered the most. After everything they’d been through, she needed more than just the logistics of why they belonged together. She wanted, needed the emotional, vulnerable component of it, too.
She shook her head sadly and withdrew her hand from his. “It’s not enough, Dylan. I deserve better. I deserve more.”
His brows creased in confusion, as if she were speaking in Greek back to him. In any other situation, she would have thought his reaction was adorably geeky, but in this case, when it came to winning her heart and winning her, she refused to spell out what she needed to hear from him, because hand-feeding him the words was too easy. It was something he had to figure out on his own, and he would, eventually, if he thought she was worth fighting for.
“More?” He echoed the word back to her, his expression perplexed. “What kind of more?”
God, he was so obtuse sometimes, and she gave him his one and only clue. “I want the fairy tale, Dylan.”
She wanted the fairy tale. Serena’s final statement to him before leaving Dylan standing alone in his mother’s guest bedroom was still rolling through his brain by the time he got home that same night. After she was gone, he’d walked back to the kitchen in a stupor, where Leo, who obviously knew why he’d gone after Serena, looked at him and immediately asked, “What did she say?”
“That she wanted the fairy tale,” he said, dumbfounded by what had just happened. He’d gone into the room believing he was going to win the girl, and instead he’d fallen flat on his face with a big ol’ whomp-whomp.
L
eo and Aiden had shared a laugh, and he’d watched Daisy and Peyton exchange an amused look. Even Isabella had blown a raspberry at him. The fact that he was left in the dark about Serena’s request annoyed the hell out of him.
He’d jammed his hands on his hips indignantly. “Anyone care to share what that means?”
“Nah,” Aiden had said before anyone else could provide the answer, his voice brimming with merriment. “I think it’ll be more fun, and way more meaningful, for you to figure it out on your own.”
“Asshole,” he’d muttered.
And now, he was at home by himself, sitting on his couch and absently flipping through the channels on his TV while mulling over what kind of fairy tale Serena was referring to. The only ones he knew of were in Disney movies. Pure fiction and not based in reality.
He came across the Hallmark Channel and stopped to watch the movie that was playing, wishing Serena was there with him because it was more fun viewing it with her than alone. Before long, he was sucked into the over-the-top, corny romance as the same old basic plot played out between the guy and the girl. He knew the story line by heart. They met and sparks flew. Usually there was some kind of opposition between the characters that caused a conflict to keep them separated. Then the big black moment, where the two of them were torn apart by their differences and all seemed lost.
But it was the part where they came to the realization that they just couldn’t live without one another that riveted Dylan, because it led into the cheesiest grand gesture from the guy that ultimately won the woman’s heart and made her swoon, along with a declaration of unending love.
Realization finally dawned. That was the fucking fairy tale that Serena was talking about. The words I love you that left no doubt in the woman’s mind that the guy was deeply, madly in love with her. Which was exactly how he felt about Serena . . . but he’d never told her.
Jesus Christ, it was that simple, but for a logic-minded guy, the notion had eluded him. But for a sentimental woman like Serena who was waiting to find her Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet, those heartfelt words meant everything.