Steel and Promise

by Alexa Black

  “Someone else left his mark on you just now,” she said into Cailyn’s ear. “Used you, too.”

  Something cold and metallic pressed against her entrance. She shivered, her sore breasts aching, as Teran pushed the object in, her body stretching to receive it.

  “I’m not so sure I like that,” Teran said, her voice still sharp and cold. Cailyn trembled. Teran had given her away, but she felt almost as if she’d snuck out.

  She had said once, long ago, that she had no need to punish the courtesans who submitted to her. But she had never, to Cailyn’s knowledge, given anyone away before.

  “So I’ll just have to use you better,” Teran finished. “You belong to me. At least for now.”

  Teran’s breath quickened as the cold metal disappeared inside Cailyn. Cailyn bucked, feeling it fill her, driven by the force of Teran’s arm. It split her wide, pushed her open, more hard and unyielding than flesh could ever be.

  Cailyn gasped as it rent her. A steel-tipped hand pressed her face down.

  She steeled herself and moved back on it. Seeing her wince would spur Teran on. She served Teran’s pleasure now.

  The warming metal picked up speed. She twisted under its onslaught and cried out. Her body gripped it hard and then released.

  Teran pulled the metal free. Cailyn whimpered, suddenly empty. Her insides stung from the stretch.

  “He thinks I should see my son,” Teran said, her voice soft. “What do you think, my little one?”

  Cailyn blinked. “You’re asking me that now, my lady?”

  Teran chuckled. Her fingers moved over the welts along Cailyn’s back.

  Cailyn willed herself to think about the question. She remembered the boy greeting her, bounding away when Lord Keriel called.

  He’d asked about Teran. That’s hers, around your neck. Do you like it? What would Teran think if Cailyn confessed he’d mentioned it?

  According to Lord Keriel, not much. She hadn’t even named him.

  Cailyn licked her lips. “I think you should see him. I’d like to see him too.”

  Steel played over Cailyn’s skin. “Teran’s whore, curious about Teran’s son?”

  Cailyn winced. Did Teran have to like that word so much? “My lady, if he’s half as interesting as his mother is, it’ll be a fascinating evening.”

  Teran’s lips slid over Cailyn’s neck and chin. She kissed the metal of Cailyn’s collar. “Maybe you’re right. The son of a helldemon. What has the world made out of him?”

  Cailyn sighed, relieved. Teran was intrigued.

  That meant she’d see him.

  She tilted her head up, wrapped her hands around the back of Teran’s head, and kissed her mouth.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Dion sat across the table, pouting. He poked at the bowl of candy laid out in front of him. He picked one of the candies up, turned it around in his hands, and set it down again.

  “They won’t poison you, Dion,” Teran said. “I don’t mean you any harm.”

  Dion glowered. He made no reply.

  Teran sighed. “All right,” she said. “If you won’t trust me, here.”

  She slid off her glove and held up her hand. The retracted claws shone silver.

  They extended with a familiar click. Dion stared, his dark eyes wide.

  Teran gave him a moment to gawk. Then she reached down and snatched up the candy Dion had dropped on the table. With a fluid motion, she sliced it in half.

  “See? Nothing.”

  She dropped the halved candy into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

  “Now you.” She offered him the other half.

  Still staring, he grabbed at it. He chewed slowly, his eyes locked on Teran’s.

  Cailyn looked from Dion to Teran. Teran had always taken such pains to hide her claws. Now she was showing them off at the first opportunity.

  That would get around.

  At the very least, it would get back to her worst enemy.

  Teran drummed her hands on the table. Dion stared down at them.

  “Why do you have those?” he asked. He looked over at Cailyn. “Did you get them for her?”

  Teran chuckled. “No.”

  “Then why do you have them?”

  “I got them for someone else, a long time ago.”

  “What were they for?”

  Cailyn winced.

  “You go straight to the difficult questions,” Teran said. “I like that.”

  “Nobody else does.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  Dion tilted his head. “How did you ask the questions you wanted?”

  Teran smiled. “I found someone who knew what I wanted to know. Convinced them to give me what I wanted.” She clicked the claws on the table for emphasis.

  Dion looked up. He scowled again, trying to look menacing. Cailyn bit back a laugh. “Okay. Now tell me what I want to know.”

  Teran’s smile widened. “Tell me exactly what you’re asking.”

  Dion chewed his lip. “I want to know what you do.”

  “What I do?”

  “People say you hurt people. They say you take people away if they misbehave.”

  Teran Nivrai, helldemon. Did parents say she snatched children up, took flight on implanted wings, and spirited them away to Nivrai?

  Teran had the same thought. “Is that what they say? ‘Teran Nivrai will get you if you don’t clean your room?’”

  Dion nodded, his hair bouncing.

  “But that’s not what I want to know,” he added, his tone solemn again. “She’s nice. Pretty. And she follows you. Are you cruel to her too?”

  Cailyn folded her hands in her lap. She smoothed her face into a mask, glad for the training that had taught her how to do it.

  Teran didn’t hesitate. “Well,” she answered, her voice silken, “I’d think the best person to answer that question would be Cailyn.”

  Me? Cailyn’s eyes widened.

  Dion turned his head. His gaze fixed on Cailyn. “Tell me.”

  Cailyn cleared her throat. “I do what I am bid to do.”

  A familiar half-smile curled one corner of Dion’s mouth.

  “Sometimes things—” she glanced at the steel-tipped hands resting on the table “—are difficult.”

  “Do you have to do it?”

  “We choose who we work for. I chose to stay with Lady Nivrai.”

  “You want to?”

  “I wouldn’t work for her if I didn’t want to.”

  Cailyn took a deep breath. There. She’d said it.

  The words sounded bizarre to her own ears. Had she really done those things? Had she really welcomed them? It felt like talking about someone else, justifying the strange behavior of the wildest courtesan on the dark channels.

  Dion stared fixedly at Teran’s claws. They gleamed in the light. “And those?”

  “The tips can be gentle,” Teran said.

  “But they’re like little knives. You could really hurt people with them.”

  “Yes, if I chose to.”

  “It must be fun to have those.” He smirked. “You can scare anyone you want.”

  Teran chuckled. “Most people don’t know I have them. But I could frighten people with them if I wanted to.”

  If she wanted to. Cailyn choked back a laugh.

  “Did I frighten you, Dion?”

  “A little,” Dion mumbled and looked down.

  He raised his head and turned to Cailyn. “You could even scare her, if you felt like it.” His grin widened.

  Cailyn shivered. Had Teran smiled like that as a child?

  “If I chose to, I could.” Teran’s eyes glittered. “But if I really hurt her, I don’t think she would come back.”

  Dion nodded. “That would be bad. She’s pretty,” he said again. “She likes you.”

  A steel-tipped hand moved to cover Cailyn’s. Teran turned to look at her. The hand on Cailyn’s twitched. “She is one of the best. You’re right, Dion. I would be a fool to overdo
it.”

  Cailyn fought not to blink. Was Teran trying to be tender, or was she just interested in reassuring her son that she wasn’t insane?

  And why did she care so much about his opinion, anyway? Ostensibly, she cared because Lord Keriel would value the overture. Offering him candy and making small talk were more than enough for that.

  But here she was, telling the boy everything he wanted to know. Including about Cailyn.

  Cailyn studied Teran’s face, her pale eyes, her bloodless lips. Was she—could she be—fond of him? She’d abandoned him a decade ago.

  Dion looked at the claws and at Cailyn. He drummed his fingers on the table, all excited energy. “And you can do whatever you want?”

  Teran held up a steel-tipped hand. “That’s enough, Dion.” She chuckled. “You have plenty of time to learn when you get older, if you want to. I’m not here to teach you.”

  Dion blushed and covered his face. “I’m sorry.”

  He grabbed a handful of candies and stared down at them, pretending to be intensely interested in them.

  “Mother,” he added after a moment.

  Teran didn’t reply. Silence stretched between them.

  Cailyn wanted to say something, save the moment with the wit the academy had trained into her. But the words lodged in her throat.

  At last, Teran spoke, her voice soft. “You probably think I owe you an apology.”

  Dion didn’t answer.

  “It’s true,” Teran said. “I do. I neglected and ignored you.”

  “You did.” Dion’s face twisted into a snarl. “So why should I forgive you?”

  “You shouldn’t forgive me, Dion. Not unless you want to.”

  “I shouldn’t?”

  “You can think whatever you want about me. You can hate me if you want to, Dion. The gods know you have a better reason for it than most people do.”

  Dion’s scowl uncurled. “Well, then. I don’t like you.”

  A frown flitted across Teran’s face. She did not blink and stared straight ahead.

  “But most people don’t like me either,” Dion said.

  Teran nodded. She said nothing else.

  Dion stood and grabbed another handful of the candies.

  “I’m going to go now.”

  “Very well,” Teran said. She slid her gloves back on as she stood. “But I have something to say before you go.”

  Dion turned.

  “Take those silly things out of your eyes. They don’t become you.”

  Cailyn blinked. What did Teran mean by that? She followed Teran out of the room. So did Dion, who rushed over to the cushioned chair where his father sat.

  Lord Keriel reached down to give the boy a hug. Dion hugged back and cast a glance over his shoulder. He looked more interested in Cailyn than in his father.

  Without a word, he dashed out of the room.

  Lord Keriel straightened and faced Teran.

  “Nivrai,” he said.

  “My lord.”

  “You met with the boy.”

  “I did.” She bowed her head but glared up at him.

  He sighed. “Does this mean you’re willing to be a part of his life now?”

  “My lord?”

  “Your fighter is gone. Are you ready to be a mother to your son?”

  Teran’s teeth clenched. The gloved hands twitched behind her back.

  “I did what you asked me to do, my lord.”

  “What I asked you to do? Nivrai, this is about—”

  “You wanted me to meet with the boy,” she snapped, cutting him off. “I did. Now will you tell the Councils this whole thing is a farce?”

  “I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”

  Silver peeked through the tears in the leather. “Do I, my lord?”

  “The decision has already been made.”

  Teran’s lips drew back in a snarl. “Has it, now?”

  “Nivrai, there’s nothing I can do for you.”

  Teran laughed, a cracked glass sound. “Then do you really want me meeting the boy fresh from a session with the prisoner?”

  “Nivrai—”

  “If you can’t help me, there is nothing I can do for you.”

  “My lords—” Cailyn reached out a hand and put it between them.

  But Teran had already walked away. Cailyn sighed out an apology and turned to follow.

  They were halfway down the hall by the time Cailyn asked the question burning in her brain.

  “Your son—”

  “What about him?”

  “You said something about his eyes.”

  “Yes.”

  “What did you mean?”

  Teran turned. “Dion looks like his father, don’t you think? He has his hair, his nose, his features.”

  “That’s true. If I didn’t know he was yours, I—”

  “It’s an advantage.”

  “An advantage?”

  “I don’t have to acknowledge it.” She chuckled. “And Lord Keriel won’t have to mention it for years either.”

  Cailyn stopped in her tracks. “But Lord Keriel is obsessed with you!”

  Teran’s brows knitted. Her lip curled in the beginning of a frown.

  Cailyn pressed her lips together. Damn it.

  “How do you know that?”

  “I—from what you tell me, he still misses your attentions.”

  Teran said nothing for a long moment. Then she spoke. “You wanted to know about my son’s eyes.”

  “I did.”

  “My eyes are pale. My lord’s eyes are green. Both light colors. Isn’t it odd that Dion’s eyes are almost black?”

  Cailyn’s eyes widened. “You mean his eyes are light—”

  Teran nodded. The claws extended. “His eyes are gray. Like mine.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Teran’s fingers twined in Cailyn’s hair. “Tell me about the lovers you’ve had.”

  Cailyn blinked up at her. “I can’t, my lady. You know that.”

  “Not your clients. Your lovers.”

  “My lovers?” Cailyn struggled to focus as Teran’s lips and teeth worried her flesh.

  “What do you want in someone who isn’t us?”

  “My lady, that’s a very personal question.”

  “Or do you live only to serve?” She laughed, rich and resonant.

  Cailyn looked up. Did Teran want into every part of her life? “No. I’ve had lovers.”

  Teran laughed into Cailyn’s skin. “Tell me about them.”

  She shouldn’t, Cailyn knew. Teran had no right.

  But no noble had ever asked. Not like this. Not without demanding something. Why should they want to know about her life?

  And Cailyn had learned quite a bit about Teran’s life these last few days. A hidden affair. A secret son. A High Councilman with a disturbing obsession.

  Could she hide from someone who’d shown her so much of herself?

  “I never had any until I went to the courtesans’ academy.” She shook her head. “I’d decided my purpose in life early. I thought I should wait.”

  Teran chuckled.

  “That didn’t last. I fell for a woman in my classes.”

  She blushed, remembering. “We ate together, sat together, talked together. At first, I thought we were just good friends, but—”

  “But.”

  “We had lessons: how to touch, why, where. We studied techniques. When we came to the lessons on women, she came to me late one evening. She wanted to see if they worked.”

  Teran smirked. “I take it they did.”

  “We spent that evening exploring one another, trying the things we’d read about. I wanted to stay with the things we were learning. I wanted to be sure I had them right. I wanted to be elegant, skilled, refined.” She chuckled. “My friend just wanted to try everything.”

  “Mmm. So she put you up to it, then? She led you, even there?”

  “Maybe she did. But I wanted her as much as she wanted me. We saw each other
often after that.”

  “I’m sure you did.”

  “We would try the things we had learned. Do whatever else we thought of.”

  Cailyn closed her eyes. Her lover had broad, thick fingers. To an academy that prized delicate features and precise grace, that meant “less beautiful.” But Cailyn had never minded. Those fingers and hands had filled her up perfectly well.

  Cailyn sighed. She hadn’t seen anyone she went to the academy with in years. She hadn’t had many lovers either. She’d realized her work wasn’t everything, but still had little time for her own life.

  “What about you, my lady?”

  Teran bit her again. She shuddered.

  “Me?” Teran whispered it against her neck.

  “I know you’ve seen courtesans from the dark channels. I know about Mariel. Is that all?”

  “Is that all?”

  “Were you—were you always—cruel, as you are now?”

  “I was always the same, little one.” Steel ran across the spot Teran bit and dug into Cailyn’s skin.

  Blood welled up from the cut. Teran lowered her mouth to the wound. Her tongue traced over it, and Cailyn’s worry dissolved into pleasure.

  “People stared at me even as a child. They didn’t like me, even then.” She growled against Cailyn’s skin. “I rarely spoke. I had nothing to say to anyone. My parents wondered who they might marry me off to, and despaired of finding anyone.”

  “And you went on the dark channels.”

  “I did.”

  “Because you were tired of people who didn’t want the things you did.”

  Teran sucked at Cailyn’s wound. “No. I went on the dark channels immediately.”

  Why am I not surprised? “You knew what you wanted so young?”

  “These people and their gentleness. I never had any taste for it.”

  “You’ve touched me gently,” Cailyn protested, her voice soft.

  “I have. But do you remember the first thing I did when I saw you for the first time?”

  “You put your hands on me,” Cailyn said, closing her eyes to better remember. She had expected a blow, force, anger. Instead, Teran had caressed her skin, as anyone else might.

  “And then what?”