3d6 (Caverns and Creatures)

by Robert Bevan

  “Did you see it?” asked Julian.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And?”

  “Well, I’m not sure what you’re expecting, sir. I’m hardly a poet, and you haven’t given me much time to –”

  “What phase is it in?”

  “Phase, sir?”

  “Is it waxing, waning, full, new?”

  “Oh,” said Ravenus. “It’s full.”

  “Full?”

  “Quite full, sir.” Ravenus cleared his throat and flapped his wings. “Like the eye of a goddess, it shines down on –”

  “What does he mean, it’s full?” asked Dodwynn. “That can’t be. Why haven’t you changed?”

  “Could it be the cloud cover?” asked Tim. “Maybe you have to be exposed directly to the moonlight, like a vampire is only affected by the sun if the light actually touches him.”

  “Dunno,” said Dodwynn. “T’wouldn’t seem like all that big of an issue if it could be managed by staying indoors a couple of nights a month.”

  “I disagree,” said Julian. “It still feels like a pretty big issue to me. I’d much rather bring the odds of me involuntarily killing all of my friends down from slim to none.”

  Dodwynn stroked his beard. “Could explain why my brother never turned.”

  Tim looked up at the sky. The clouds were still thick in the sky, but who knew how fast that could change? “We have to get you into town, like, pronto. You don’t have any more Mount spells?”

  Julian shook his head. “I used all I had to get us to the temple, and then I used my emergency scroll to send a horse down the stairs.”

  “Shit,” said Tim. “You might still have a chance to fix this if you get back to Colin before you change. But if the weather clears up before we get there…” Tim bit his lower lip, trying to think of a way to move faster.

  “I can dig a hole,” said Cooper. “We’ll bury Julian until the sun comes up.”

  Julian frowned. “Anyone feel free to jump in with an Option B.”

  “Is it after midnight?” asked Dave.

  Cooper snorted. “If it isn’t, then your fairy godmother fucked you over bigtime.”

  “If it’s technically a new day, all of our one-use-per-day abilities reset. Julian can get his spells back. Cooper gets his Barbarian Rage. We’ve been through this before.”

  “I’m really angry!” said Cooper.

  “Cooper!” said Tim, turning around. “You don’t have to waste –”

  But Cooper had already hulked out. He ran over to a young pine tree about as thick around as one of Tim’s legs.

  “Fuck you, tree!” He punched it in the trunk, felling it in one blow. He twisted and tore the top of the tree from the stump and hurled it like a harpoon into the meadow.

  “That wasn’t strictly necessary,” said Dave. “Sorcerers only need a few minutes of meditation to prepare their spells. We could have just waited for Julian to try.”

  Dodwynn scratched his head. “You all are a peculiar lot. The elf seems less affected by the moon than any of you.”

  While Cooper spent the remainder of his Barbarian Rage using various parts of his body to break up the tree trunk into smaller pieces, Julian sat on the wet road and meditated.

  Tim watched the sky nervously for ten minutes. Every time the rain seemed to let up just a little bit, he clutched his dagger hilt, for all the good it would do him against a werewolf. He didn’t know as much as he should about werewolves, but he knew that attacking one without a silver or enchanted weapon was tantamount to jumping the queue to have your throat ripped out.

  Finally, Julian stood up. “Horse.” And just like that, there was a gorgeous white stallion glistening in the rain next to him. Julian was still limited to four Level 1 spells, so Tim doubled up with him.

  “These will only last a couple of hours, but that should be enough time to get back to town if we ride fast.”

  Once they were all mounted, they galloped as fast as their magical steeds would take them. It was thrilling at first, but Tim’s arms soon became sore from holding on so tightly to Julian, and his ass started to ache from bouncing up and down on the horse. He was cold and wet and tired and sore. He wished he could just curl up and go to sleep.

  “There are the walls!” Julian finally cried out. “We made it!”

  Tim didn’t know what he was so excited about. Making it back to town was the easy part. Drawing blood from a werewolf might prove a bit more challenging. He wished Cooper hadn’t blown his Barbarian Rage already.

  The main gates were closed at this time of night, but as long as you weren’t leading a hostile army or a horde of zombies, the guards were pretty lax about letting folks in through a small door on the side.

  Julian dismissed his magical steeds outside the city walls. “It feels good to end that spell without some act of horrible butchery.”

  Within the walls, the cobbled streets of Cardinia were cool and slick as Tim sloshed through the puddles. Having no idea what time it was, he had no way of knowing whether the lack of activity was due to the rain or the late hour. His answer came as the group neared the Collapsed Sewer District. Lights shone through several tavern windows, flickering where the source was fire, and steady where the source was enchanted. Tim judged the hour to be around two in the morning. The bars were still open, but the noise level suggested that things were beginning to die down.

  Nobody remembered the exact location or the name of the pub they had met Colin in, so they wandered around aimlessly until Tim recognized the gang of elves that had almost kicked his ass the night before. They were huddled together, three of them barely able to stand up. The two lucid-looking elves looked scared. When one of them shifted their stance, Tim caught a glimpse of what they were all looking at. Steely blue eyes peered out of a black, hooded cloak. Colin, that werewolf motherfucker himself.

  Tim stopped walking and waved for his friends to duck into an alley across the street.

  “He’s there,” Tim whispered. “He’s talking to a group of elves. They look drunk and scared. He’s probably pulling the same shit on them that he did with us.”

  “Let’s go jump him,” said Cooper excitedly. “If the other group joins in, our odds will be even better.”

  “Bad idea,” said Dave. “They’re scared, confused, and drunk. They might just as easily try to defend him if they think he holds the cure for their affliction. We’re not going to have time to explain our case before all hell breaks loose.”

  Tim and Julian peeked around the corner. Colin was showing the group a vial of red liquid.

  “That’s his pitch,” said Julian. “He’s sending them off to find the statue, and his blood is their reward.”

  “What a dick,” said Tim.

  Julian pulled back into the alley. “He’s got the vial on him. Let’s pretend we’ve got the statue, and I’ll see if I can’t use Diplomacy to get him to give up the blood first, like a measure of good faith or something. I’d rather drink it from a vial than bite into him.”

  “Oh,” said Cooper. “I was thinking we’d just stab him and you could lap up the blood off the street.”

  “I’m still liking the vial option better.”

  Tim kept watching until Colin’s newest marks skulked away, the two lucid ones clutching bloody handkerchiefs around their wrists.

  “He’s alone!” Tim whispered. “Now’s the time.”

  “Would you mind staying behind for a minute?” Julian asked Dodwynn. “I’d like to try to settle this without a fight. You can put your vengeance off for another minute, can’t you?”

  “My brother, Baelrick. He was a good dwarf. He would want you to be free of this curse.”

  Julian nodded, took a step forward, then stopped. “Of course, if things do turn violent, feel free to jump in.”

  Dodwynn grinned, though Tim suspected the streaks running down the sides of his face consisted of more than rain. “Aye, lad. You can count on it.”

  Julian looked under his serape. “Ravenu
s, I need you to keep still.”

  “Still, sir?”

  “As still as a statue.”

  “Ah, I see, sir.” He nodded his head once, then became as rigid as if he’d been carved out of wood.

  Julian covered his bird and addressed the group… specifically Cooper. “I do the talking. Got it?” After everyone nodded, Julian led them out into the street.

  Colin was sitting on a crate in the alley, smoking a pipe. The second story of the building he sat next to was built slightly wider than the first. The overhang kept him out of the rain.

  When the group was halfway across the street, Colin looked up, startled. He stood quickly and tapped out his pipe against the wall, as if it was the high school principal who had just caught him smoking.

  Julian halted and raised his hands slowly.

  Colin’s face relaxed into a smirk. “I wasn’t expecting to see you boys again… so soon.”

  Julian lowered his hands. “We don’t like to waste time running other people’s errands.”

  Cold. Businesslike. Not Julian’s normal M.O., but Tim could see it being an effective diplomatic strategy.

  Colin pulled down his hood and stepped out into the rain. He still had a scratch on his face that Tim thought he remembered Ravenus giving him. His smirk was gone.

  “Do you have the statue?”

  Julian tapped the bulge beneath his serape on his left breast. “Do you have the vial?”

  Something was strange. One thing Tim was pretty sure about was that lycanthropes could only be harmed by silver or enchanted weapons. A bird claw wound should have healed almost instantaneously, unless… Ravenus was Julian’s familiar. Did that make him magical? Did his claws count as enchanted weapons? That would be cool.

  Colin pulled back the left side of his cloak about an inch, and raised his right hand as if he was going to grab something, but stopped short of doing so.

  In turn, Julian pulled back the left side of his serape. A high-pitched screech and a storm of black feathers exploded out of it.

  “NO!” Julian cried.

  Colin yelped like a scared puppy, raising his arms to shield his face, but Ravenus was already on him, scratching and pecking and cawing.

  “So,” said Cooper. “The plan…?”

  “Get him!” shouted Julian.

  “Sweet!” Cooper bolted forward and tackled Colin to the ground, instantly pinning him in a sleeper hold.

  “You… double… crossing… bastards!” Colin choked the words out.

  “Where is the vial?” Julian demanded. Ravenus continued to flap and claw and peck.

  “Take it!” said Colin. “It’s inside my cloak!”

  “Ravenus!” said Julian. “Stand down.” The bird flew to Julian’s shoulder, leaving Colin’s face a blood-streaked mess. “You were supposed to stay put. Like a statue, remember?”

  “Apologies, sir,” said Ravenus. “You didn’t fill me in on the whole plan. When you tapped me and opened your serape, I assumed it was a call to action.”

  “You’re right,” said Julian. “I should have been clearer. But look at that. You kicked his ass.”

  “I do what I can, sir.”

  Julian took a knee next to Colin. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Cooper loosened his hold on Colin, but did not let go.

  Julian reached under Colin’s cloak and felt around until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a small glass vial of red liquid.

  “Take it and go!” said Colin. “Leave me alone before I call for the Kingsgua—”

  Cooper slapped a hand over Colin’s mouth.

  Julian unstoppered the vial and sucked down the contents. His face contorted like he had just bitten into a lemon. He looked closely at the vial. “This isn’t blood.” He glared down at Colin. “What the hell did I just drink?”

  Cooper released his hold on Colin’s face.

  Colin spit a few times, no doubt trying to rid himself of the taste of Cooper. His eyes darted back and forth, like he was searching for an exit. “It’s p-p-p-pomegranate juice.”

  “What the fuck, man?”

  “That’s good for you,” said Cooper. “It’s got, like, antioxygens and shit in it.”

  Julian glared down at Colin. “Are you expecting me to believe that the cure for lycanthropy is pomegranate juice?”

  Colin shook his head. “No. I just used that because it looks like blood. It was all for show.”

  “Hmmm…” said Julian. “I guess I could just lick your face, but that would be weird.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Okay, here’s the plan. Cooper, Dave, hold him down. Tim, give him a little jab in the neck with your dagger.”

  “Wait, WHAT?”

  “I need your blood, right? Pomegranate juice just isn’t going to cut it.”

  “No no no no no,” said Colin, laughing shallowly. “You don’t understand.”

  “What, exactly, don’t I understand?”

  “It was all a sham,” said Colin. “The affliction, the cure. I made all of that up. I’m not even a werewolf.”

  “Bullshit,” said Tim. “I saw you change.”

  “I did too,” said Julian. “And I was pretty lucid.”

  “It was a simple Alter Self spell,” said Colin. “I’m an apprentice wizard. My professor is a devout disciple of Yulu Hari. I thought if I could get that statue, you know…”

  “That’s what this whole scheme was about?” asked Julian. “You trying to impress your wizard professor?”

  “I’m sorry,” Colin pleaded. “Really, I am. But hey, nobody got hurt, right? No harm done. Please don’t kill me.”

  Julian shook his head. “You’re a good looking guy, Colin. You should have taken up sorcery.”

  Colin frowned. “I don’t know how those two sentences are related to one another, but thanks.”

  “I don’t know either, Colin. And you’re welcome.”

  “Does that mean you’re not going to kill me?”

  Julian smiled. “Of course we’re not going to kill you.”

  “You’ll let me go then?”

  Tim was impressed with the uncharacteristic streak of cruelty Julian was demonstrating. He didn’t know what Julian had in mind, but he was pretty sure he was toying with this guy.

  “Sure,” said Julian. “We’ll let you go, but we’d like to introduce you to a friend we met along the way.” He turned toward where Tim and Dave were standing and waved them aside.

  Tim hadn’t realized that Dodwynn had been standing right behind them.

  “Dodwynn!” said Colin, trying to mask his panic. “I didn’t think you… Where’s your brother?”

  “You two have obviously got some catching up to do,” said Julian. “We’ll just leave you to it.”

  Dodwynn stared gravely at Colin. “You promised my brother some of your blood. I’m here to collect.”

  Julian relaxed his cold, hard demeanor. “Would you mind giving us some time before you settle up? I really don’t want to see or hear any of this.”

  “Don’t worry about that, elf.” Dodwynn cracked his knuckles. “I’m planning on taking me time with him. I’ve got a place in mind where no one will hear him.”

  Julian winced. “Yeah, see, I’d rather not know anything like that either.”

  Dodwynn looked down at Colin. “On your feet, boy.”

  Cooper released Colin, who promptly scrambled to his feet toward the alley.

  Dodwynn kicked him in the ass before he had his balance, and Colin’s face smashed down hard into the wet cobblestones. Dodwynn looked at Tim, raising his hand to his eyebrow in a casual salute. “I thank you again, halfling. Now you boys run along. I got this under control.”

  Tim didn’t need to be asked twice. He did an about face and started walking away. It wasn’t long before his friends caught up to him.

  “Do you guys feel right about leaving that guy to be torture-murdered?” asked Dave.

  “Absolutely,” said Tim.

&
nbsp; “Fuck him,” said Cooper.

  Julian said nothing, so Dave started up again.

  “I expect that from Tim and Cooper. But I’m a little surprised at you, Julian.”

  Julian stopped in his tracks. “I didn’t see you jumping in to save the day.”

  “Hey hey,” said Dave, raising his hands defensively. “I’m not accusing you. You’re right. I didn’t help the guy either.”

  When Julian started walking again, Dave finished his thought. “Of course, I also didn’t deliberately serve him up for the slaughter.”

  “You know what?” said Julian. “Screw you, Dave. I was angry, yeah. And if we had more time, I might have tried to talk Dodwynn out of killing the guy, or at least doing it quickly. But I had a decision to make.”

  “If we had more time?” Dave scoffed. “Where the hell do we have to be at this hour?”

  “I had to choose between hanging out and reasoning with Dodwynn, or trying to catch up to those elves Colin just sent to the temple.”

  “Aw fuck,” said Cooper. “Is that where we’re going? I’m tired, and I need a drink.”

  Dave folded his arms incredulously. “It sounds like you’re rationalizing to me. Were you really thinking that at the time, or is this something you’re pulling out of your ass right now?”

  “You’ll be pulling my foot out of yours if you don’t shut up.”

  “I’m with Cooper,” said Tim. “Those guys are assholes. I’m exhausted, and wet, and sober. That’s just no way to feel. Let’s give them some credit, huh? They’re probably not as stupid as we are.”

  “You think?”

  “Sure. They’ll take one look at that skull tree, and decide to come back to town for reinforcements. Or maybe they’ll just decide to cope with lycanthropy – build a cage, buy some manacles, whatever – and be pleasantly surprised in a month.”

  Julian tugged on his ears. “I guess it could play out that way. That makes more sense than just charging unprepared into a temple full of grimlocks.”

  A bell rang out from a nearby tavern. Last call. Tim tried not to look too hopeful.

  “Heck,” Julian continued rationalizing. “They might even know what phase the moon is in, and know that they have a full month to prepare. Or they might have horses. We probably wouldn’t catch up to them. They could be anywhere. I still feel kind of bad though.”