Mindspeak

by Heather Sunseri

  I stared at the screen for what seemed like hours, not knowing where to begin. I tried “Shift.” I tried “Ctrl.” I tried “Shift + Ctrl.” Nothing.

  Since I had missed one class already, it made more sense for me to get to class and think about this later.

  ~~~~

  I entered Advanced Biology II out of breath just as the bell chimed.

  The only seat open was directly in front of Jack. After a heavy sigh, I slid into the seat without making eye contact and concentrated hard to shield him from my overactive thoughts and imagination.

  I’m sorry. Just those two words from him made my stomach clench.

  Mrs. McMillan scribbled the words “Animal Reproduction” on the chalkboard. Snickers erupted around the room.

  It’s just… I can’t protect you when you shut me out like that. What if something had happened to you away from campus? I would have been helpless. You could have been…

  I closed my eyes. I could hear the vulnerability in his voice, but he had overstepped. Who said I need or want you to protect me?

  His fingers grazed the back of my neck. I would never keep up this ironclad shield with him touching me like that. He leaned close, his mouth next to my ear. “It’s me who needs to protect you.”

  Seth said you’ve been watching me for the past year.

  Did he now? Jack pulled his fingers away and I could hear him sit back hard against his chair.

  Yes, and I know you’re not a stalker, so what—

  “Miss Matthews,” Mrs. McMillan said over my thoughts.

  Shit. I had no idea what she asked.

  Parthenogenesis, Jack said to my mind.

  Seriously? I asked.

  Yes, just say it. Parthenogenesis.

  “Parthenogenesis?” I answered in more of a question. Okay, maybe this mind thing was handy. I’d thank Jack later when I wasn’t so mad at him.

  The hour passed, and thankfully, Mrs. McMillan didn’t call on me again because I probably would have been distracted then, too. Jack had grown silent.

  The bell chimed. I stuffed my notebook inside my bag, and before I could even zip it, Jack grabbed it from me, zipped it, and reached down and wrapped his hand around mine.

  He pulled me into the hallway. He was silent as we walked toward our next class.

  “Lexi. Jack.” I heard our names over the bustle of students behind us. Danielle rushed toward us waving something over her head.

  “Have you seen it?” she asked when she reached us, beaming.

  “Seen what?” I glanced nervously at Jack.

  “The glossies for the art show this weekend?”

  Uh-oh. I had totally forgotten.

  “What art show?” Jack asked. He took the brochure she offered. “Wellington Boarding School presents its sixth annual Fall Art Gala, featuring the work of Danielle Gray, Barkley Sanders, and Lexi Matthews.” He handed the brochure back to Danielle, his eyes never leaving mine. A slow grin twitched at the corners of his lips.

  “You didn’t tell him?” Danielle asked.

  “No, actually, it hadn’t come up.”

  “There’s a dance after. I wonder if Barkley has a date yet.” She wiggled her brows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  Just like that, Dani flitted off back where she came from.

  “Hey. Can you take me to see Gram today?”

  “We don’t have permission to leave campus. My father gets back into town today, and he’s pretty pissed about the accident last week.”

  I drilled the heel of my palm into my forehead. “I’m so tired of being controlled. I want to go see my grandmother,” I said. “Either you take me or I will find another way.”

  He yanked me closer. I started to resist, but decided that would not help my cause. “Tomorrow. I’ll talk to Father tonight and see what I can do.” Just don’t shut me out, okay?

  I make no promises at this point. I’m still mad at you, and I’m tired of so many rules.

  Jack frowned. That’s not fair.

  No, it isn’t. Nothing about your or my life is fair.

  ~~~~

  Kyle plopped down beside me on the library couch, where I attempted to concentrate on college applications. His woodsy cologne barely covered the remnants of chlorine. “You and DeWeese fighting?”

  I kept working. “Fighting?”

  “Looked like you were getting pretty intense after biology.”

  “Did it? No. We’re fine.”

  “You two serious?”

  “Serious?” What was this? How could I politely tell him to back off?

  My phone chimed from the pocket of my fleece jacket.

  “You’ve never dated anyone at Wellington. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” It wasn’t that he seemed jealous, more like he was fishing for information.

  “Yes, I guess you could say we’re dating.” I pulled my phone out and stared at the screen. A text from Marci.

  Found Sandra. 106 West Rose Street.

  Rose Street? That runs through the middle of UK’s campus. I texted back: What is that? An apartment building?

  I scanned the library with my eyes. “Have you seen Jack?”

  “You do have it bad.” Kyle chuckled.

  “What? No. I just need to go somewhere. And I need a ride.”

  I didn’t see Jack. In fact, I hadn’t seen him since classes were over. Which was a good thing. Maybe I could leave and be back before he noticed I was gone.

  My phone chimed. No. University hospital. She is or was a patient there.

  A patient?

  Kyle had never been one to worry about rules, and I wasn’t sure Jack would take me where I wanted to go. “You in or out?”

  “Me?” He pointed his finger into his chest. “You want a ride from me? Did you get permission to leave?”

  I really hated lying to my friends. It just wasn’t something I did. “If I say ‘yes,’ will you take me?”

  He thought for a solid five seconds. A gleam actually flashed in his eyes. “Let’s roll.”

  ~~~~

  The university hospital was an enormous complex of offices, research labs, a specialized children’s hospital, along with several wings of the actual hospital.

  “This place has turned into a small city since my grandmother died here a couple of years ago.” Kyle looked over his shoulder, switching lanes.

  “Your grandmother died here? In this hospital?” I realized I knew very little about Kyle’s family. If his grandmother was from the area, his family might live close as well.

  “Yeah.” He leaned forward and looked up at the tall building in front of us. “Why are we here?”

  “I need to visit a friend of my dad’s.”

  “Well, parking is a nightmare. How about I drop you off? That way you can have a head start. I’ll park and come find you.”

  Did I really want Kyle with me when I faced the woman who looked exactly like me twenty-seven years into the future? “Actually, I won’t be long. Why don’t you grab a coffee at the shop we passed back there?” I thumbed behind me. “I’ll text you when I’m ready to be picked up.”

  “You sure?” He studied me for a second.

  “Absolutely.” I tried to sound casual. Like this was no big deal.

  With that, I jumped out and jogged toward the front entrance. It was definitely better if I did this alone.

  Several people congregated, smoking around a bench outside the hospital. The smell reminded me of Smoking Man. An ambulance siren came closer and whizzed past me just as I reached the large revolving door. Once inside, I approached a white-haired lady sitting behind an information desk reading a scraggly-looking paperback.

  After finishing the page she was on, she peered at me over her bifocals. “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, my voice a little shaky. “I’m here to visit a patient. Um… Sandra Whitmeyer.”

  “Let’s see.” She clicked her mouse a few times. Typed. Clicked some more. “You family?” she asked without looking
at me.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  A few more clicks and several “hmmms” later, she said, “Just a minute.”

  She picked up her phone, dialed a number, listened, punched in another number, then hung up.

  Strange.

  When her eyes found mine again, she smiled and said, “Room 618. Elevators are down the hall on the right.”

  I edged along the hallway in the direction she pointed. Nurses and doctors in various colors and patterns of scrubs passed me without a glance. The elevator opened and a family rushed out. A small child bumped into me as he ran past. I stepped on, followed by a man in green scrubs, and pressed the number six.

  With each floor we passed, the elevator dinged. The man got off on five, and I was alone.

  The doors opened on the sixth floor into another bright hallway. To my left, a small waiting area and a series of doors opened to even smaller rooms, and one closed door. Through the window, I saw three people huddled together. Maybe in prayer, but definitely comforting each other.

  To my right—a large set of double doors. On the wall beside the doors, gold lettering—Neurology - ICU.

  A sign on the doors read, “Ring bell for entrance.” Sure enough, a button resembling a doorbell hung to the right of the doors and a card scanner for those with the right credentials.

  I approached slowly. My fingers hovered over the button. I didn’t know if it was the rumbling deep in the pit of my stomach or the warning bells I imagined inside my head, but I pulled my hand back without ringing the bell.

  Was Sandra truly behind this double set of doors? I was struggling to believe that the white-haired woman just sent me straight up to the Neurology ICU, no questions asked other than taking me at my word that I was, in fact, Sandra Whitmeyer’s family.

  I guessed I could prove it with a DNA sample.

  I stared at the door again. What was the worst that could happen? A nurse or doctor could turn me away. Tell me I’m not allowed on this floor unless I’m family. Did I really want to see Sandra? Look into eyes identical to mine? Prove once and for all that I was the freak I thought I was?

  Suddenly the door in front of me shook. I jumped back. Looked all around.

  I jumped into one of the private rooms like a guilty, crazy person.

  The doors opened slowly, the way they do when you hit the handicap button. A couple of nurse-looking people exited and waited for the elevator. Once they were on, I approached the entrance again. The doors were just starting to close.

  This was my chance. Did I jump through them? What was I even scared of? I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Not really.

  I slid through the opening just before the doors closed. On the other side, a hallway of hospital rooms in two directions. A nurse’s station to my left. In front of me... Room number 632.

  I’d always thought the best way to get where I wanted was to act like I already belonged. So, I walked along the hallway with purpose.

  630.

  628.

  626.

  Jack.

  I stopped in my tracks, and backed up against a wall. Inside room 624 was Jack. Or a person identical to Jack. I needed to look again to be sure. But I was nearly certain Jack leaned over a bed inside the room.

  Slowly, I angled my body toward the room again and was about to lean my head around the corner to peek in when a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me backwards.

  I gasped, almost letting out a loud shriek. My palm flattened over my heart where I massaged my out-of-control pulse. I gazed helplessly into the eyes of Seth Whitmeyer.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “What are you doing here?” Seth asked, keeping his voice low.

  I stared at him, eyes wide.

  “He finally told you.”

  I shook my head freakishly fast. “Who is that in there? Is it Sandra?”

  “Sandra?” Seth asked, confused. “No. That’s Addison.”

  “Addison?”

  “Jack promised me he would tell you.” He peered around me and inside the room. “Come on.” Seth put his hand on my back and led me back the way I’d come.

  “Where are you taking me?” I asked, panicked. I could reach out to Jack with my mind, but that would be admitting to having left Wellington. Again. Without permission.

  Besides, I wanted to know all the things Jack wouldn’t tell me.

  Seth flashed the card around his neck in front of a scanner and opened a door. “My office. After you.” He gestured with his hand for me to enter.

  “You work here?” It all made sense. His mom had said he worked shifts. And he knew so much about Gram and her condition. He was a doctor.

  “I’m a neurologist.”

  His office was small, his mahogany desk cluttered with paper and medical magazines. Very few personal items.

  He removed his white lab coat and hung it on a hook on the back of the door. “Have a seat, Lexi.”

  I sat on the very edge of a leather chair. My right leg shook. “Who’s Addison?”

  “Addison is the reason Jack finally joined The Program. Addison is the reason he came looking for you.”

  I sucked in an audible breath. “I don’t understand.”

  “Addison is Anita’s eight-year-old daughter.”

  “Anita? Jack’s housekeeper?”

  He nodded. “A year-and-a-half ago, Addison and Jack were riding. Something spooked her horse. She was thrown.”

  “What happened?”

  “She broke her collar bone. Suffered some other minor injuries, but she couldn’t move. Jack didn’t get to her in time. After the horse threw her, it backed up and stepped on her head.”

  “Oh, God.” I covered my mouth with my hand. “Did Jack try to heal her injuries?”

  “Of course. And he did. Everything but the brain damage from the horse’s misstep. He almost died. Put himself in the hospital—he became dehydrated from throwing up so much after he healed her collar bone and broken ribs.”

  I picked a speck of lint on the floor and stared at it. My mind raced. Jack had made himself so sick. “Why hasn’t he told me?” I said mostly to myself.

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “I guess not. Not to me anyway.”

  “Because he loves you, Lexi, and he’s scared. He’s scared of losing you. He’s scared of what the consequences might be if you were to use your power the way it was meant to be used.”

  “What do you think the consequences will be?” I asked. Was I seriously wondering if I could use my mind to heal someone’s brain? Gram? The little girl lying in that bed for the past year-and-a-half?

  Healing either of them went against everything I believed in. It just seemed that using supernatural abilities to heal went against God’s plan for the universe—that these abilities were not created by God, but by arrogant scientists. Maybe that was why the consequences existed.

  “We won’t know until you try. But Jack says you have pretty bad nose bleeds when you use a small part of your power.”

  “He told you that?”

  “He told me that you could bend minds in your favor.” Seth grinned. “That must be quite a useful tool.”

  I nodded.

  “Something in your nervousness just now tells me, though, that this mind bending power extends further than I’m aware.”

  “No,” I disagreed. “You make me nervous in general.”

  He leaned forward against his desk and clasped his hands. “I’m going to be honest with you. You will become a part of The Program sooner or later. Jack convinced me to give you time to come based on your own choice, but eventually, you won’t have a choice.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  His lips curved into a grin. “No, I’m not. I’m finally giving you all of the facts. Eventually, the people who killed your father will be coming for you. Or you’ll find the journals that explain everything. Then you’ll be begging to be part of The Program.”

  ~~~~

  I had three texts and four missed calls wh
en I got back in the car. The three texts and two of the calls were from Jack. The other two calls were from Wellington’s main line.

  “I’m sorry, Kyle. I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

  He shrugged. “I knew what I was getting into. You needed a ride, right?”

  I stared out the window. Trees whizzed by on the back road that led to school. What would I tell Jack? That I knew about Addison?

  No. I couldn’t. Not yet.

  “You hungry?” Kyle asked.

  “What?” How could he think about food right now? We were going to be in so much trouble when we returned to school.

  “Well, there’s no way we’ll make it back for dinner. I’m stopping for a protein bar and an energy drink.” He turned into a gas station with a small country store and parked near to the doors. “Want anything?”

  I shook my head.

  Kyle shut the door and disappeared into the mini-mart. Something flickered out of the corner of my eye. Kyle’s cell phone lay in the seat beside me. A new text lit the screen. I craned my neck to see any signs of Kyle returning. When I didn’t, I grabbed his phone and began punching buttons and scrolling through texts.

  He had been texting someone by the name of R.W. I scrolled through the texts.

  Kyle: We r at UK Hosp. She’s not talking. Should I say something?

  R.W: Don’t do or say anything!! Keep ears open. Get her to talk about who she visited. Any mention of journals?

  Kyle: No journal talk. Picking her up now.

  R.W: Just get back to school.

  I darkened the phone’s screen just as Kyle turned away from the checkout counter. He pushed through the door with an armful of snacks and a couple of drinks. I struggled to get a couple of deep breaths in before he opened the door and let some of the snacks fall into the seat on top of his phone.

  “I got you something anyway.”

  I took a drink and some of the food from him, giving my hands something to do before Kyle noticed how badly they shook.

  After watching the fence line sail past me along the country road for twenty minutes, Kyle finally said, “Who was this friend of your father’s that you visited? Someone he worked with?”

  “Uh, yeah. A colleague from a long time ago.” Too many questions. I wanted to cry.