Confessions

by Collins, Janice

  Confessions

  Copyright © 2015 by, Janice Collins

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locals is coincidental.

  Confessions

  By

  Janice Collins

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  *Free bonus story in the back.*

  Chapter 1

  Aria stretched out on the plush bed, enjoying the feeling of the sunlight on her skin. It was Sunday morning and she wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day watching movies. But she had made plans with Billy and he would be over shortly for breakfast.

  She thought about calling him to pick something up, but decided against it. He was looking forward to her homemade chocolate chip pancakes so she would stick with her plan to surprise him. Glancing over at the clock, she realized if she didn’t get up and start cooking the pancakes wouldn’t be ready before he arrived.

  She rubbed her face and got out of bed to lazily make her way to the kitchen. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she set out all the ingredients and started mixing. Once she had forced herself out of bed and started doing something she felt significantly more productive than when she stayed nestled up under her comforter.

  About thirty minutes later there was a knock at the door. She quickly wiped her hands off on a towel and made her way to the front door. She leaned up and gave Billy a peck on the lips before beaming up at him.

  “What’s going on?”

  He stepped inside ruffling his jacket before taking it off and hanging it on the coat stand. Aria shrugged and grabbed his hand to lead him over to the table where she had set out the pancakes, syrup, and hot coffee.

  “Whoa,” he said pleasantly as he sat down, “This is a nice surprise.”

  He leaned across and gave her a peck on the cheek before grabbing the syrup, pouring it over his pancakes, and cutting a piece to eat enthusiastically. Aria looked at him for a couple minutes, enjoying the way his face lit up with such a simple gesture. It was all comfortable and genuine. It was exactly the kind of relationship she had always hoped for, the kind of relationship she dreamed of having when she finally met the person she wanted to settle down and make a life with.

  When they finished their first serving the idea to finish up breakfast in bed struck her. She got up and served another stack of pancakes for the both of them and pulled out two wooden trays. Handing one to him she nodded toward the bedroom door.

  He grinned, standing up and grabbing his plate and coffee mug to head into the room with her. They settled down into bed and positioned their food trays before she pulled up the browsing menu to decide on a movie. In the end they went for their favorite sitcom. They must have watched every episode at least a dozen times.

  When they finished their pancakes and coffee, Billy took both trays out to the kitchen and came back right away to snuggle up together. It wasn’t long before Aria felt drowsy from the food. She dozed off for a while, leaving him awake with his arm around her.

  ***

  “You sound like an old couple,” Kay commented with a laugh the next evening over dinner at some new and trendy fusion restaurant she had pestered Aria into trying. This was not the kind of food she really cared for and it definitely wasn’t her scene, but she knew how much her best friend wanted to check it out. Sometimes it amused her to think of how different she and Kay were, yet they still somehow managed to maintain a strong friendship over the course of many years.

  Aria smacked her playfully on the arm before picking up the dessert menu and deciding none of them looked the least bit appetizing.

  “Let’s go for some frozen yogurt,” she suggested.

  She really wanted dessert and that was her favorite. Plus, she had just eaten a decent meal but definitely not one she would order again. They placed the money on the table, tip included, and headed out onto the street.

  “There’s actually a place just a couple blocks down,” Aria motioned in the direction of the shop. Kay hummed and started walking. They spent the rest of the night talking mostly about Kay’s newest dating prospects and an internship she had just discovered she was eligible for.

  “I’m definitely applying. That’s not an opportunity I’ll pass up,” Kay said while leaning against her car door. It was getting late. Aria nodded and hugged Kay goodbye.

  “That’s good. Let me know what happens,” Aria said before walking over to her own car and getting in. As soon as she closed the door she sighed and tossed her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. It hadn’t hit her until now just how tired she was. It had been an unusually busy day at work, but she didn’t want to cancel her plans with Kay. Even though they texted each other often and sent silly emails, it was never the same as actually hanging out.

  Ever since Kay had landed her new job at the marketing firm she had been insanely busy almost every day. That or she was far too exhausted to drag herself out of bed. Aria pulled her body forward by gripping onto the steering wheel and she shook her head in an attempt to feel slightly more energized. She turned the car on, selected an upbeat playlist, and zoomed off toward her house.

  It was Friday evening and she had just gotten home when her phone rang. She looked down at the screen to see Billy’s name flashing across. She tried to recall if they had made plans but drew a blank.

  “Hey,” she answered warmly as she rifled through her purse for lip balm. It was a hot day and not having had enough water to keep herself hydrated throughout the day, she felt her lips cracking. She strained to hear his muffled voice as she rubbed the smooth balm on the cracked skin of her otherwise pretty, bow-shaped lips. The call dropped. She grimaced and stared at her screen before shrugging and walking into her kitchen for a glass of water. Just as she reached for the pitcher, her phone buzzed back to life.

  “Hey,” she answered as she poured water into a glass.

  “Hey,” came Billy’s voice from the other end, “How was your day?”

  “Oh, you know, the usual. It was pretty hot though. Yours?” She pulled the speaker of the phone away from her face as she gulped down the water, instantly feeling refreshed and more alert.

  “It was kind of lame, honestly. I was hoping to see you so it wouldn’t be a total dud. Are you up for some company?”

  “Of course,” Aria Smiled.

  “Cool, be there in a bit.”

  With that the line went dead. Aria placed her phone on the counter and poured herself another glass of water before heading to the thermostat to adjust the temperature. She sunk onto the couch, kicked off her shoes, and placed her feet neatly on the coffee table. She sat staring off into space and taking sips of her water with no particular thoughts occupying her mind.

  It was a pretty decent way to feel at the end of a workweek. She was tired but not exhausted and there was no high level of stress just waiting to be relieved either. It was an oddly pleasant empty sort of feeling. There was a knock at the door and she turned her head before she came back to her senses and realized Billy had arrived. She pushed herself up off the couch and made her way to the door.

  “Hey,” she greeted Billy rather feebly.

  She leaned forward and let her lips brush softly against his before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom and climbing into bed, practically p
ulling him onto it after her.

  “Whoa,” he said as he struggled not to just fall on top of her. He nuzzled himself by her and pulled her into a hug so she could rest her head down on his chest. She always enjoyed listening to the beat of his heart, especially when it would change depending on what they were doing or talking about. She liked comparing it to his breathing.

  “You’re so odd sometimes,” he had once told her when she confessed this to him.

  “But it’s a charm,” he added before kissing the top of her cheek. She smiled serenely and nestled against his chest, her hand coming to rest on his upper thigh.

  He was warm and smelled good. She looked up at him affectionately, feeling completely still and at peace.

  “I’m glad you called,” she told him earnestly. He gave her a quick grin and rubbed the top of her head before running his hand through her hair. “Let’s choose a movie,” she said as she reached over for the control and handed it to him. They mindlessly clicked through the catalog and settled on a comedy. They didn’t end up paying much attention to it.

  Aria snuggled into his chest again and made a soft humming sound before looking back up at him, her hand running up his stomach and landing on his chest to make little circles with her index finger. She moved it up as she pushed her body up in a sitting position to lean forward and press her lips against his.

  Their kiss seemed to be moving in slow motion along with the rest of their bodies, along with time. She slid her hand up his chest and curled it to grasp his shoulder, pushing her body up enough so she could move over and lean against him. They were both warm as was the air around them. She broke the kiss with a soft hum in her voice before tilting her head down to rest it on his shoulder, her upper body still lying on top of his with legs off to the side. She ran her fingernails softly up and down his arm and felt his hand massaging the top of her head. It was all so comfortable. She closed her eyes, not aware of when everything turned black as she drifted off to sleep.

  As the early sunlight filtered in through the blinds in the bedroom, Aria stirred and woke up to find she was still cuddled up on top of Billy. He had adjusted during the night, but hadn’t moved her away from him, his arm just barely draped over her waist. In order not to wake him, she moved off him as softly as she could.

  She stood up and stretched while mentally going through a list of things she needed to get done that day. Deciding against making breakfast, she made a pot of coffee and sat on her porch drinking a cup while waiting for Billy to wake up. It was nearly an hour later when he finally stepped out onto the porch, steaming mug of coffee in hand and his signature morning smile. That was something she would never be able to imitate.

  They sat quietly, sipping coffee and looking out onto the street. There was nothing particularly exciting about the view, but it was adequate enough to spend some time like this.

  “It does its job,” she had said the first time he had been over her house.

  As the memory of that day played out in her mind, she reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. It seemed so strange and so long ago when that had happened even though, relative to life, it was not too far off.

  They were nearing their third anniversary but there was something about their relationship that made it feel like it should have been a much larger number attached to the anniversary. This wasn’t a bad thing; it was just the way things were between the two.

  “I still remember when all my friends and my sisters kept telling me to slow down,” she said out loud. Her comment came out of nowhere to Billy. He turned to face Aria with eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You know, when we first started dating I distinctly remember being told we were moving too fast. Everyone thought it was a recipe for disaster, but look at us now.” She squeezed his hand before standing to take her mug over to the kitchen sink.

  He followed her and washed both mugs as he stood there. Luckily, she had washed dishes the night before so nothing had yet accumulated. She hated clutter and she hated the smell that came from dirty dishes sitting in the sink.

  “You’re crazy,” he would often tell her when she complained of a rotten scent only she could detect with the sensitivity of a dog nose. “But it’s a charm,” she would add playfully. He would laugh and nod in agreement, usually topping it off with quick and affectionate peck on the lips. This was the norm of the interactions between them and she never tired of it.

  She slumped onto the couch and patted the space next to her for Billy to sit with her. He dropped down and rubbed his hands up and down his thighs, a habit he had after he washed dishes.

  “I have some errands to run,” she told him casually. He leaned to the side and gave her a kiss on the lips before standing up. She saw he grabbed his wallet and keys so she immediately sat straight up.

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Yeah,” he said as he looked around to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind. “I have some things to get done too. I’ll talk to you later though.” With that, he walked out of the house and left her sitting on the couch. His departure had been rather abrupt, but she didn’t give it much thought.

  She stood up and headed to the shower to get ready for her day. It was always best just to get everything over with early on. She threw on some jeans and a simple black t-shirt before heading out to finish everything on her to do list as quickly as possible.

  Chapter 2

  It was just around 2pm when she got back home and slumped onto the couch. Feeling hungry, she decided to ask Kay over for lunch. “You should come have lunch with me,” she said after Kay answered her call.

  “Okay. Want me to pick something up?”

  “Let’s just order in when you get here,” she suggested. Kay agreed and let her know she would head over soon. After hanging up, Aria turned on the television and settled on a rerun of a sitcom she watched after work from time to time. There was no point in committing to anything else, given her friend would be arriving any minute.

  Sure enough the knock came on the door. “It’s unlocked,” she called out and Kay turned the knob to step inside.

  “That’s not safe,” Kay warned.

  “Oh please, I already knew you were coming.” Kay plopped down on the couch beside Aria and snatched the control from her. She switched to some entertainment channel airing a trashy reality show she didn’t quite recognize. Once again, there was another big difference between the two. Aria would never watch that even if she had been paid to do so. They settled on pizza and promptly placed the order, continuing to watch whatever the television show was until it was delivered.

  “So Billy was over last night, huh?” Kay nodded toward the coat rack where he had left his jacket. Aria nodded and took a bite of her pizza. Kay wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

  Aria to roll her eyes. “We just hung out, you know.”

  Kay sighed and muttered, “Yeah, I know.”

  Aria set down her slice of pizza and met Kay’s eyes with a look of confusion. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Just, you know, you two seem to ‘just hang out’ an awful lot. Mainly do the same thing over and over. I wasn’t entirely joking last time when I made that old couple comment.”

  “What? Why do you say that? Just because we prefer to stay in and watch some TV?”

  “It’s not just that, you know. You two watch the same show for the hundredth time and it’s just, something. There’s something about how you two get along now that makes you seem like an old couple. Like the way you spend your time together is very uneventful.”

  Aria tried to push away the annoyance she felt from her friend judging her relationship. Who was she to judge them? If they were happy and comfortable this way then that was all that mattered.

  “Maybe we’re too comfortable,” Aria blurted before really stopping to think about how it would come off. Kay raised her eyebrow at Aria. “I mean,” she quickly said, as if trying to correct a mistake. “We’re comfortable, is that so bad?”

>   Kay took a bite of her pizza and chewed slowly while she thought of the best way to say what was on her mind. This was clearly a sensitive topic that needed to be handled with care. The last thing she wanted was for Aria to go on the defensive and feel like her relationship was being attacked. That was not the case.

  “It’s not bad at all. It’s great you two are so comfortable. But maybe you are too comfortable. Maybe you’ve reached that part of the relationship too soon.”

  “What? I was always under the impression the best relationships were comfortable.”

  Kay set down her slice of pizza and rubbed her hand over her lips. “That’s important but sometimes it seems like you two have already settled. I don’t mean settle down.”

  Aria sighed. She stood up from the table and walked over to the kitchen sink before returning. A part of her felt like Kay was right, but she didn’t want to admit it. She knew her friend was not judging her relationship for fun or out of cruelty. She just cared about Aria and saw her relationship going down a path that worried her. Truth be told, Aria had already had those thoughts a couple times recently but always shut them down and pushed them out of her mind.