Unable to process the afternoon’s events with her mind so foggy from a returning fever, Aggie just sat there for some time. The mail came, bringing the set of history DVDs she’d purchased, but Aggie didn’t join the children for their video. Instead, she sat, her mind lost in confusing memories of the day. Libby read the children stories, helped them finish picking up, and fixed dinner, and still Aggie sat. After a long walk down the road, they returned to find her asleep, tears still fresh on her lashes.
Aggie says: Mom? Are you on? I really need to talk to you.
Martha says: I’m here! I was hoping you’d get on. How is everyone doing with the pox today?
Aggie says: Terrible. I had to take Ellie into the clinic, and now I have a fresh crop of pox of my own.
Martha says: I’ve never heard of so many eruptions! Did the doctor say anything about it?
Aggie says: Yep. He said be glad I don’t have shingles yet.
Martha says: Well, maybe your body is fighting that so much that it can’t kill the pox virus or something.
Aggie says: Don’t know if that’s possible, but it sounds logical anyway.
Martha says: I suppose that probably put the kibosh on your test day of school.
Aggie says: Yep. And that turned a bad day into an Alexander day.
Martha says: As in “no good” etc.?
Aggie says: That’s the one. My day went from horrible to nightmarish in one visit from William.
Martha says: Another 9-1-1 from Ian?
Aggie says: No, worse. Remember that hysterical scene in “Pride and Prejudice” where Darcy proposes?
Martha says: Oh, dear. Tell me he didn’t. I was starting to root for Luke.
Aggie says: That’s another story all together, but um, for the record, what is funny on the screen is not so comical in real life.
Martha says: Oh, I’m sorry. What happened?
Aggie says: I didn’t even get a chance to answer. He told me I couldn’t handle life without help, so he decided this was how to solve that little problem, told me what we should do, and then left. I was informed that we’d continue the discussion on Monday after he returns from Seattle.
Martha says: Seattle?
Aggie says: Football game. Can you believe it? He’s probably considering it his last bachelor trip or something equally ridiculous.
Martha says: That sounds a little high-handed, doesn’t it? Even so, are you sure you want to say no?
Aggie says: Oh, mom. Even if I were in love with him, WHICH I AM NOT, I’d still say no.
Martha says: Why is that?
Aggie says: The guy has a Galahad complex. That whole bit about how I can’t cope without his help was just too much. It was insulting, and the pathetic part is, he thought he was being encouraging!
Martha says: Well, it’s not exactly the dream proposal, is it?
Aggie says: Not hardly. So, mother dear, how do I gently tell him to forget the idea. Indefinitely. I don’t want to be rude or unkind, but it shouldn’t be too hard to be blunt and tactful since I know he isn’t doing this out of his undying love for me. I just want to make sure it doesn’t come up again and that he doesn’t decide it has to do with his past or anything.
Martha says: Oh, no. We wouldn’t want that. I suppose it wouldn’t work to tell him that the last you heard, you didn’t request the services of Galahad.
Aggie says: *giggles* That’s the truth. I wish I could do it without sounding snarky. I would.
Martha says: Just be honest. Once it’s over, he’ll probably be just as relieved as he was when you told him you didn’t want to do the dating thing.
Aggie says: Yeah, what’s with that? We were both relieved. Why do this when we were both happy not to “go there?”
Martha says: It’s like you said. He’s trying to save you from yourself.
Aggie says: Well, all he’s doing is ruining a perfectly good friendship.
Martha says: He’ll get over it.
Aggie says: Do you think he’s right? Am I really blowing it with the kids?
Martha says: Absolutely not. Your father and I are so proud of you. I wondered how you’d cope with so many new things at once, but you’ve done an amazing job. Allie couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome to their tragedy.
Aggie says: Thanks, Mom. I really needed to hear that tonight.
Martha says: I have a few more things to say sometime, but I’m getting that “Get to bed, woman” look from your father. I’ve been a little winded this week, and you know how he gets about that.
Aggie says: Go to bed. I’ll bug you tomorrow.
Martha says: We’ll be down for Vannie’s birthday, and your father finally agreed to Thanksgiving at our house. Can you bring up the kids for that?
Aggie says: We’ll be there. I’ll bring air mattresses, and we’ll all sleep in the basement, so don’t go to any work or anything.
Martha says: Your dad will love that. No work for me makes him a very happy man. He forgets that I love to prepare for guests.
Aggie says: Mom?
Martha says: Hmm?
Aggie says: Go to bed. I love you!
Martha says: You’re as bad as your father--maybe worse! Night, honey. I love you too.
Aggie says: Goodnight.
Mushiness
Chapter 16
Monday, September 22nd
Tina called Aggie early Monday afternoon apologizing profusely for missed and unreturned calls. “Sorry I didn’t get back to you. I dropped my stupid phone in class, and I couldn’t get in to get it until today. My laptop battery died, no one in town has one, and now I know why it is stupid not to have a landline. How is everyone?”
“Ellie’s finally better, I haven’t had a new pox eruption since Friday, which I consider good, and William proposed.”
“He what?” Tina sounded both stunned and a little disappointed.
“Yep. Apparently he thinks I’m completely incompetent, so he decided to be magnanimous and put me out of my misery by marrying me.”
Silence hung in the air for a moment. “Do you mean to tell me that he said those things or something close?”
“So close that feels verbatim even though I know it isn’t.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“For you,” Aggie teased, “that’s the equivalent of, oh, you’ll spit and claw like our kitten every time the puppies come near it. Completely ineffectual, by the way. I’ve discovered that puppies aren’t very intelligent.”
“I’ll have to up my game to at least a verbal claw or two.”
Aggie stepped out the door to see if the twins were still building rock houses in the driveway. “Something else happened after all that.”
“Luke clobber him?”
“No, but he told me I shouldn’t marry William.”
Tina laughed. “Well, that wasn’t surprising, considering he’s been waiting for you to notice he’s a man for the past two months.”
Jaw slack, Aggie shook her head as if to clear it. “You--why didn’t you say something?”
“Because he didn’t. It’s not my job to be his mouthpiece. You’ve forgotten that my name is Tina, not Aaron.”
“Funny. Very funny. Libby tried to hint, but I think I tuned her out or something.”
“You have a lot on your plate, Aggie. On top of everything, there’s William and the worst dates in the history of--” Tina snickered. “Ok, so they weren’t that bad.”
“Bad enough. Anyway, he told me he cares about me, and now I’m just confused.”
“About what?”
For several seconds, Aggie struggled to articulate her problem. At last, she sighed, flopped onto her back, and said, “Because none of this makes sense. I’m supposed to be teaching kids how to multiply and do fractions, not weeding out my relational prospects.”
“Well, after I give William a piece of my mind, I’ll take the big lug off your hands. Meanwhile, you’ll have to decide what you think of Luke, but don’t you hurt him.”
“G
ee,” Aggie began dryly, “thanks for the support.”
The sound of rock against house sent Aggie flying for the door. “I’ve got to go. They’re firing on Fort Stuart.”
“Cari and Lorna?”
“Yep. Bye.” Aggie tossed the phone on the couch as she flew through the door.
~*~*~*~
Libby decided that a nice long drive would be a perfect way to give William and Aggie privacy for their “talk.” Luke, finishing work on his house nearby, was on call if Ellie couldn’t come, but even Ellie seemed well enough to take a nice drive to Fairbury, around Lake Danube, and back home again. Grateful for the opportunity to deal with the unpleasant task without an audience, Aggie spent the rest of the afternoon in prayer, begging the Lord for wisdom in showing a fine combination of firmness and gentleness.
Just as Aggie decided to go downstairs and throw together something for dinner, Libby knocked gently on the door. Stepping inside, she whispered, “Aggie? Zeke called. He was driving home from the feed and seed and saw William on his way here.” She crossed the room and laid a tender hand on Aggie’s cheek. “I’ll feed the children from that deli in Fairbury or something. We’ll be gone for quite a while. Zeke has a new foal he wanted to show them.”
“Thanks, Libby.” A rogue tear splashed on the woman’s hand.
“Aggie? If you need him, Luke is only a call away, but…”
The young woman looked up to her mother-like friend, questioning. “But what?”
“He told me how he spoke of his feelings.” Her thumb caressed Aggie’s cheek. “My Luke cares deeply for you. Please remember that when you decide what to share with him.”
Aggie stood at the window and watched the van drive away before turning and seeking out fresh clothes from the closet. If she was going to tell William she wouldn’t marry him--the thought made her head shake with the ludicrousness of it--then she was going to look as decent as possible while she did it. One glance in the mirror at her face made Aggie’s heart sink. There was no way to look mature and serious with a polka-dotted face.
She made it to the bottom of the stairs just as William rapped on the screen door. Her heart bottomed out when his eyes lit up at the sight of her. Maybe he did care more than she’d thought. Luke could have been warning her not to hurt William, but hadn’t he as much as said that he was talking about himself when he mentioned that some men could be friends while they waited? Confusion swirled in her mind, but Aggie didn’t have time to dwell on it.
“You’re looking better! I saw the van gone and thought maybe you weren’t home.”
“Libby took the children for a van picnic and a drive. Everyone’s feeling a bit cabin feverish.”
“But you didn’t go?”
Without a word, Aggie walked to the kitchen, grabbed the aspirin bottle, pried open the cap, shook out two, and replaced it all. She downed the pills with a glass of water and returned to the living room, collapsing in her favorite spot without even attempting to be graceful. “So much for my maturity,” she thought to herself.
“So…” William’s failed attempt to open the subject showed just enough vulnerability to buoy Aggie’s spirits. She needed to do this for both of them.
“William?”
“Yeah…”
“You know that this won’t work, right? I mean,” she hastened to add before he could get her off track, “it is so amazingly self-sacrificing of you, but it won’t work.”
“Marriage is always a little work, but we’ll--”
“No we won’t, William. I’ll admit; at first, I was pretty mad at you. I know you didn’t mean to be, but you were quite insulting in your assessment of my ‘job performance,’ and that hurt. However, once I had time to think about it, I realized just what a beautiful thing you did. In one sense, it was a perfect picture of a husband. You were giving yourself and your own dreams of whatever you’ve always wanted family-wise up for me and my children. That’s a beautiful thing.” Aggie waited until his eyes were back on her before she continued. “But it’s flawed.”
“How?”
“You aren’t Jesus. It’s hard enough for a man who truly loves his wife and children to be so self-sacrificing. To start things off that way--you’d resent us. Eventually, you’d resent us.”
“Aggie, no…”
“Yeah, you would, and no one could blame you. Really!” She leaned forward and beckoned him to come sit by her. Taking his hand, she squeezed it gently. “You have a need to fix things, William, but we’re not something you can fix.”
The man’s face was unreadable. He sat, expressionless, staring at her as the seconds ticked by into minutes. “I think you’re scared of the idea, and I don’t blame you. But, Aggie--”
“Don’t, William. Don’t.”
“But--”
“Look, can you honestly say that you love me as most men love the women they ask to marry them?”
“No, but--”
“That’s a lot of buts, William. Do you realize that?” She sighed and removed her hand from his, pulling her legs up against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. “I told Tina that I was afraid I’d lose a dear friend today. Please prove to me that I’m wrong.”
William shook his head with evident disgust. “I thought you were more mature than this, Aggie. I can’t believe that you’re going to let silly ideals--”
“If I thought your heart was hurting; I wouldn’t say this, but you’re being a jerk. Your pride is hurt that you got turned down, but you only want to marry me as a solution to the so-called problems in my life. It’s no solution, and I won’t do it. If your solution is more important to you than our friendship, well, I guess I didn’t know you like I thought I did.”
“That’s an unjust accusation. I’ve often thought you were mature beyond your years, but right now, you’re acting like a junior high girl who got asked out by the wrong guy.”
She forced herself up from the couch, walked to the desk in the library, rifled through a drawer for paper and pencil, and scribbled something on it. Returning to the living room, she passed it to William. “Tina would like you to call her.” Something in his expression told her his thoughts. “Oh, and if you toss that, she’ll just call you without it.”
“You can’t go around giving my phone number to whomever you like. That’s wrong, Aggie.”
“I wouldn’t need to. She’d never ask. She’d just call the station and leave messages until someone forced you to do something about it. Tina is very persistent.” She paused for effect before continuing. “Oh, and don’t hang up too soon. You’ll make it worse. She has a few things she wants to say so you might as well just get it over with while you can.”
She didn’t wait for a response. Instead, Aggie started up the stairs. On the third step, she turned and added, “I really hope I don’t have to wait a long time before I get my friend back. I value friendships; I need them. Until then, I’ll miss you. Goodnight.”
Upstairs, she waited until William’s car tore out of the driveway before she allowed herself to give way to a few frustrated tears. When she realized how brief her little cry was, she smiled to herself. After months of feeling like she cried at the drop of a hat, it seemed that she was returning to her old self. “At least some things are going right,” she murmured.
It was quite dark when Aggie stumbled down stairs an hour later. Still groggy from her impromptu nap, Aggie blinked at the darkening sky, the strains of one of her mother’s favorite songs drifting through her mind. “Out of the mist your voice is calling…mmmm… twilight time…”
She never could remember all the words, but Aggie could never forget the tune. Luke found her on the porch, so lost in her reverie that she didn’t notice him drive up or walk across the crunchy gravel. “Mibs? You ok?”
Aggie jumped. “Oh! How did I not hear you drive up?”
“I don’t know… I drove right past your line of vision. Mom called twice wondering if I’d seen you yet. She won’t come home until she knows you’re ready fo
r them.”
“Oh, she could have come back.” An awkward feeling washed over her as he hesitated to sit. “Sit, Luke. I’m not going to freak out on you.”
“I never thought you would.” He sat in his favorite chair, running his hands over the arms, remembering heart to heart conversations he’d had with his grandmother in those very chairs. “Did William come?”
“Yeah.” She knew the tears choking her voice confused him-- possibly hurt.
“Well, I’m sorry you’re hurting.” His words were genuine if a bit… safe.
“You wanna know why it hurts? He’s a twit. He doesn’t care about me-- not like--” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Not like me?”
“Well…” Aggie ducked her head.
“It’s ok, Aggie. I chose to tell you.”
“Anyway, if he actually cared, I’d be more sympathetic, but he doesn’t. Like I told him, his pride is hurt not his heart.”
“And,” Luke asked, leaning forward to see her eyes. “What about your heart? It looks as if your heart is suffering, Mibs.”
“It does hurt. It hurts a lot. Right now, William has taken his opinion of me from ‘incompetent’ to ‘immature’ simply because I am unwilling to submit to his Galahad complex.” She shook her head impatiently. “I’m going to lose a good friend to pride. It makes me mad.”
Before Luke could respond, his cell phone rang. “That’ll be mom.”
For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) Page 24
