The Other Five Percent

by Quinn Anderson

  Logan shouted over the music. “I’m looking for Ellis. Is he here?”

  At that, Mohawk raised his eyes but not his face. “You his boyfriend?”

  “No. Why does everyone think he has a boyfriend?”

  “Everyone?”

  Logan sighed. “Never mind. Is he here or not?”

  “Sure is, sweetheart. He’s in the back.” Mohawk jerked his head toward an open doorway behind him. “But FYI, you might wanna ask why ‘everyone’ thinks you’re his boyfriend. That seems like the real question to me.”

  Logan didn’t have a response to that. Were all alternative people adept at doling out advice, or were Ellis’s coworkers unusually perceptive? He almost asked if it was all right for him to barge into what he assumed was an employee-only area, but Mohawk’s attention had already sunk back into his magazine.

  The music muted slightly the moment he ducked through the doorway, which meant his thoughts were no longer punctuated by throbbing bass. The room—a storage room, judging by the towering stacks of plastic-wrapped inventory—was much larger than the front, with unfinished walls and visible silver ducts snaking around the ceiling.

  Ellis was standing by a worktable, sorting albums into piles with practiced ease. He didn’t look up when Logan approached. “What is it now, Max?”

  There was an edge of irritation in his tone that almost gave Logan pause. He took a deep breath and tried for a joke. “More like who is it.”

  Ellis whirled around. Logan’s first thought was that he looked as tired as Logan felt—had he had trouble sleeping as well?—and his second was that, with his glasses askew and bags under his eyes, he was the most beautiful thing Logan had ever seen.

  “Logan. What the fuck are you doing here?”

  All right. Starting off with a joke clearly wasn’t the way to go. “I’m here to see you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to talk.”

  Ellis stared at him blankly before turning back around. His hands shook slightly as they went back to sorting records. “It’s funny, all you seem to want to do lately is talk. If you’d done that four years ago, we might not be in this situation.”

  Logan flinched. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’ve told you to stop apologizing.”

  “What else am I supposed to do? You clearly haven’t forgiven me.” He ran an aggravated hand through his hair. “I didn’t come here to fight. I want to talk things out.”

  “We have nothing to discuss, Logan. Go home.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong though! I talked to my sisters, and they made it clear to me that we need to talk now.”

  “You what?”

  Logan frowned. He couldn’t quite interpret Ellis’s tone. He sounded surprised, for sure, but also . . . scared? It was impossible to tell from two words. “I called Abby and Rachel. Remember them? I told them what happened and asked for some advice. They helped me sort things out. I know what I want, Ellis.”

  Ellis inhaled hard enough for Logan to hear it. “I . . . You . . . I’m not falling for this game again. I’ve been hurt by you too many times.”

  “Look, I meant what I said before: this isn’t going to work if you keep holding the past against me.”

  Ellis paused, still not facing him. “Then I guess this isn’t going to work.”

  “What?” Logan was aghast. “Are you serious?”

  “Deadly.”

  “But why? I don’t get it. Why can’t we move past this?”

  Ellis whirled around again, and the fury on his face made Logan actually take a step back. “Because you fucking broke my heart, Logan Vanderveer!”

  Logan’s eyes widened so much, he must have looked ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. “Ellis . . . I know I hurt you back then, but I don’t see how I—”

  “Oh, come off it already. I’ve been dropping hints ever since we ran into each other. Even you can’t be that oblivious. I was fucking in love with you, Logan. I was silly for you, and you left me without a word.”

  Logan had never been rendered speechless before. The concept of words evaporated from his brain beneath the heat of Ellis’s murderous glare.

  Ellis, however, seemed to have no trouble speaking. “I don’t think a week has gone by these past four years where I haven’t thought about you in some capacity. You were my first love, and no matter how many times I told myself to forget about you, I couldn’t seem to. The next guy I dated after you . . . You should send him a gift basket or something, because boy did he have his work cut out for him. I didn’t even blame him when he left, because who would want to date someone who’s still hung up on some ghost from the past?

  “And then boom, one day you appeared like a fucking mirage, as beautiful and awkward and funny as ever. I thought, ‘This is it. This is my chance to find out what happened. Maybe now I can move on. I can get some fucking peace.’ And you know what you told me?”

  Logan knew the answer, but he kept quiet. Ellis wasn’t looking for a response.

  “You said you didn’t remember anything, Logan. You thought we were just friends. And you could not have made it more clear that I didn’t mean anywhere near as much to you as you did to me. You broke my heart all over again, and then you had the audacity to ask me to hang out with you! I don’t even know why I agreed. And then that kiss. I couldn’t tell if I was more confused or furious. But, honestly, I think I was angrier with myself than with you.”

  Logan swallowed around what felt like a knife in his throat. “Why?”

  Ellis looked like he was waging a war within himself. The anguish on his face made Logan’s bones ache. “Because that kiss made me happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

  Logan sucked in a breath. “You mean that?”

  “I do. I don’t want it to be true, but it is.”

  Logan took a step forward. “Then be with me.”

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “Be with me, Ellis. We’ll start over. I’ll make it all up to you.”

  “You must be high to think I would even consider that. After everything you put me through.”

  “Forget about what happened before! We’ll do it right this time.”

  Ellis shook his head. “I can’t, Logan. You have to understand that. You’re the world’s biggest flight risk. You can’t expect me to trust you with my heart again. How do I know you’re not going to wake up one day and decide you’re straight again?”

  That stopped Logan in his tracks. He’d had exactly the same worry. If he told Ellis that wasn’t a possibility, would he be lying? Was there a chance he was going to hurt Ellis again in the end?

  The expression on Ellis’s face resonated in him as deeply as a lighthouse’s foghorn.

  “Ellis, I will never hurt you again. I swear.” Logan put his hand over his heart. “Just the idea of doing that to you hurts me. I hate that I ever caused you any pain. I was young and confused, and I made the worst mistake of my life. Please believe me. I want this. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want you.”

  Ellis stared at him, quiet and still. Logan stared back, trying to pour every ounce of his conviction into his body language. If he could just make Ellis see how serious he was, maybe this would all work out. In truth, he wanted to sweep Ellis into his arms and kiss him until everything was better, but he had no idea how Ellis would react to that. He didn’t want to push him too far.

  After an immeasurable pause, Ellis’s face shifted. He seemed less cautious now, more . . . challenging. And what he said next showed Logan that they were on each other’s wavelength every bit as ever. “Prove it.”

  His meaning was unmistakable. It rolled over Logan like a wave, igniting an emotion he’d never felt before. He wasn’t sure precisely what to call it, but it was almost like an itch, a dark, persistent itch that spread through him, leaving heat in its wake.

  He took another step forward. “You want me to prove it?”

  Ellis licked his lips. “Yes.”

&nbs
p; Logan took another step, and Ellis reached behind him to grip the table. Logan had no idea why, but that was unbearably hot. “You want proof that I want to be with you? That I want you?”

  He might have imagined it, but he thought he saw Ellis shiver right before Ellis met his gaze and repeated, “Yes.”

  Slowly, Logan closed the distance between them, giving Ellis time to move away or push him back if he wanted. But Ellis didn’t move. He watched Logan with dark eyes that got darker the closer Logan came.

  When Logan was inches away, close enough to smell Ellis’s cologne and hear how heavy his breaths had gotten, he dropped his gaze to Ellis’s mouth. He didn’t have to look to know Ellis was watching the path his eyes took. He wanted him to see, to know exactly what he was about to do. He wasn’t just going to do this. He was going to do it right.

  “Ellis,” Logan said slowly, drawing the sound out. He’d never fully appreciated it before.

  Ellis’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. “Yes?”

  “I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone the way I want to kiss you.”

  And so he did. He gave it everything he had. And, God, Ellis didn’t just let him. He was ready for him.

  Ellis’s lips were everything. The entire world condensed down to a single feature. Soft and sweet and hot in every sense of the word. The shadow of stubble rubbing against Logan’s chin served as a constant reminder that he was kissing Ellis—a guy—but instead of deterring him, it only spurred Logan on.

  Logan was struck by two thoughts. One, this was hands down the best kiss he’d ever had in his life. And two, he didn’t know something could be familiar and yet completely novel at the same time. It was like looking at a photograph from a day he’d thought he remembered, only to discover he’d gotten the details wrong.

  Logan had thought he knew how Ellis kissed, but this was something else. Something needy and desperate and so, so good. Ellis had learned some things in the years they’d been apart, like how to suck Logan’s bottom lip expertly into his mouth, and how to nibble on it in just the right way to make his knees weak. It was all Logan could do to give back as good as he got.

  Ellis seemed as captivated as Logan was. He grabbed a fistful of his shirt and used it to haul them together, chest to chest, as close as they could get. Well, almost.

  Logan broke away, gasping for breath. He wanted to say something eloquent, something to commemorate the moment, but all he could manage was, “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” Ellis tightened his grip on the shirt. “Couldn’t agree more.”

  Logan couldn’t help but quip, “Are you sure I’m not gay? Because let me tell you, that felt pretty gay.”

  “Shut up and kiss me.”

  Ellis dragged him back in, and Logan melted into it. He’d had his fair share of lustful make-out sessions, but nothing had ever felt like this. He couldn’t seem to touch enough of Ellis. He slid his hands around Ellis’s back, stroked his sides, caressed his chest, never settling on any one thing in the need to feel everything.

  The pièce de résistance, however, came when Ellis shifted his hips and pressed a very hard erection against Logan’s thigh. Even through their clothes, the heat of him was obvious.

  If Logan was going to freak out, now was the time. Four years ago, it’d been realizing he was hard that had made reality crash down around him. And Logan didn’t need to touch himself to know that he was, in fact, every bit as hard as Ellis was. This was serious, and it was getting more heated by the second. Even without a whole lot of experience with men, Logan knew where this was heading.

  And, Christ, he couldn’t wait for it to get there.

  Without hesitation, Logan reached down and slid his hand between Ellis’s legs, just as Ellis had done to him all those years ago. Ellis made a muffled noise of surprise against his lips before rocking against his palm. And, fuck, that was a special kind of turn-on. Really, everything Ellis was doing filled his veins with fire.

  Logan fumbled to stroke him, impeded by fabric, Ellis’s stuttering movements, and his own inexperience. He must have been doing a decent job, however, because Ellis pulled back and moaned in earnest. “Fuck, that feels good.”

  Logan shivered as arousal spiked into him. “Yeah. Just touching you is amazing.”

  “We can’t do this, though.”

  Logan sucked in a horrified breath. “What? Yes, we can.”

  Ellis shuddered, and Logan felt it from his chest to his thighs. “I’m at work. We can’t fuck here. We should go to one of our apartments.”

  Logan didn’t think it was possible to be more turned on, but hearing Ellis acknowledge what they were about to do made him delirious with need. “I dunno if I can make it that far.”

  “My coworker is in the next room, remember? It’s a miracle he hasn’t come back here yet. Or heard us, for that matter.”

  “The music’s loud. There’s no way he can hear us. Or hear in general if that’s the volume he listens to every day.”

  Ellis pushed him back. “We can’t. Besides, I don’t want our first time to be rushed. We should do this right.”

  The space between them was unbearable. It took everything Logan had not to close it again. Ellis kept a hand on his chest, holding him away. One look at his face spoke to Logan as clearly as words: he needed that hand there; it was the only thing maintaining his resolve.

  Fuck. If they didn’t get out of here now, they weren’t going to. And much as he wanted Ellis, he wanted more to respect his wishes. Besides, he had a feeling that once they finally had sex, there wouldn’t be a bass line in the world loud enough to drown them out.

  “Come back to my place.”

  Ellis hesitated. Now that there was some space between them, it was like his good sense was returning. “I can’t just leave. I’m working.”

  “Ellis.” Logan slid a hand between his own legs and palmed himself. “Do you really want to wait until tonight?”

  Ellis’s eyes latched on to him as he ran the heel of his hand down the outline of his dick. “No.”

  “Then we have two options.” Logan didn’t even need to touch himself. He felt like he could come just from watching Ellis’s face. “Either we get out of here, or we’re going to give your coworker a show.”

  Ellis put his hand over Logan’s and squeezed. “Okay. Let me tell him there’s an emergency. And we’re not going to your place. We’re going to mine.”

  “Why?”

  Ellis smirked. “Because I have plans for you.”

  The drive to Ellis’s place was excruciating. No matter how much Logan sped, it was like they were moving in slow motion. He was hyperaware of Ellis sitting in the passenger seat, looking impossibly composed. Logan almost would have bought his calm act, if the air between them wasn’t tense with want. It crackled against his skin, giving him goose bumps. In his head, he composed a list of things he wanted to do when they reached their destination. He wanted to kiss Ellis, of course, but slow this time. And he wanted to undress him, and touch absolutely every inch of—

  A light turned red, and Logan slammed on the brakes. They both lurched forward in their seats, and the driver behind Logan honked.

  “Sorry,” Logan blurted out. “I’m, uh, having a little trouble focusing.”

  Something warm touched his knee. Ellis’s hand.

  “Relax. There’s no rush.”

  Logan let out a tight breath. “You’re really not helping my concentration.”

  Ellis chuckled and squeezed his knee. “Think of it this way: if we crash, it’ll take even longer to get to my place.”

  “That’s some of the best motivation I’ve ever heard.”

  The light turned green, and Logan hit the gas again. He went at a more reasonable speed this time, but that wasn’t saying much. Ellis only laughed. Thank God he lived nearby, or Logan might have considered pulling over, propriety be damned. But then, Ellis had said he had plans, that he wanted to do this properly. Impatient or not, Logan sure as hell couldn’t say no to th
at.

  Though there was one thing they needed to talk about before anything more happened.

  “Hey, Ellis.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’ve never— I mean, you know I haven’t . . . done anything. With a guy. Right?”

  “I figured as much, yeah.”

  “Well, uh.” He faltered. “I know this isn’t the sexiest thing to say, but I don’t want you to be disappointed if I don’t know what to do. I mean, I don’t live under a rock or anything. I know basically what I’m getting into. But I’m guessing doing it is different from hearing about it.”

  To Logan’s surprise, Ellis snorted. “Oh, it’s different, all right. Don’t you worry. I’m looking forward to showing you what you’ve been missing out on. And I intend to be very thorough about it.”

  Gulp.

  A few minutes later, Ellis pointed out an apartment complex, and Logan turned in. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but a row of neat brick buildings with white trim was not it. Ellis’s place was nice. Logan might have to consider moving when his lease was up.

  Ellis directed him to the building at the very end. There was an empty parking spot right in front of it. They got out, and Ellis pulled his keys from his back pocket before gesturing at the corner unit.

  Logan wasn’t the most patient person under normal circumstances, but as he watched Ellis riffle through his keys, insert one into the lock, and open the door with agonizing slowness, he thought he might explode.

  Mercifully, once the door was open, Ellis turned around and grabbed a handful of his shirt, yanking him inside.

  Logan couldn’t help but tease. “If you keep yanking on my shirt like this, you’re gonna rip it.”

  Ellis responded by taking two handfuls and shucking it over Logan’s head in half a second flat. He threw it to the side and looked at Logan as if daring him to complain.

  Logan blinked. “That . . . was ridiculously hot.”

  “Just you wait.” Ellis took hold of his shoulders and started walking him backward. Logan only had a second to take in his apartment—dark walls, colorful abstract art, minimalist furniture—before Ellis pushed him onto his sofa. Ellis slid into his lap, straddling him, and his mind went blank.