Playing the Hand You're Dealt

by Trice Hickman

  Suddenly, our mood was broken when we heard a loud crash from outside, and an even louder Fuck you, ma’fucka! coming from a deep, male voice. Ed pulled away and we both ran to the window in the direction of the sound, looking down on the backyard below. We couldn’t see anything because of the tent, but we both recognized the man’s voice. It was Carl!

  “Shit!” Ed cursed. He turned, opened the door, and hurried down the hall as I followed close behind.

  Chapter 23

  Samantha . . .

  You Better Slow Your Roll

  Even though Mother grated on my last nerve with her phony pretense, I had to give her credit, she knew how to throw a hel-lafied party. The ambience was beautiful, the food was delicious, the band was excellent, and the alcohol was flowing. And despite the steady rain and oppressive humidity, people had come out in droves.The party was an official hit.Things were going well until I looked up and saw Carl walking through the crowd.

  Oh, shit! I said to myself. Carl was headed in my direction with a look on his face that made sweat drip from my armpits. I wasn’t sure how he got past the event planner and her team of pit bulls posing as servers, but I knew I had to act fast. “Excuse me one minute, baby,” I said to Tyler. I left him in conversation with Uncle Ross as I rushed to cut Carl off before he found his way into the flow of the party. When I reached him he was already in the middle of the tent. “What’re you doing here?” I asked in a low voice, trying to be civil.

  Carl looked past me and saw Tyler standing in the corner. “What the fuck is that punk ma’fucka doin’ here?”

  His tone was nasty and his voice was loud enough to be heard over the soft jazz in the background. My mother and her snooty friends looked up with horrified stares. Carl didn’t seem his usual self, and I could tell he was definitely on something. His eyes were glazed over and his face was twisted. He was wearing a black bandana tied around frizzy-looking cornrows, a white sports jersey, sagging jeans, and his signature Tims.To say he looked out of place among the Brooks Brothers and silk around us was an understatement.

  “Carl,” I said as gently as I could, trying to reason with him again. “It’s not too late for you to turn around and leave, that way we won’t have to get the police involved.” I knew the mention of men in blue uniforms would snap him out of whatever trip he was on.

  “Fuck the po-lice. I don’t give a damn ’bout no po-lice,” he growled, rocking his body back and forth in an animated gesture.

  I rolled my eyes, unfazed, by his gangster pose that was meant to intimidate the bourgeois crowd. But my attitude quickly changed when I saw his cousin, Ronnie, standing behind him—there for backup! At that moment, I knew some real shit was about to go down.

  If this had been any other function, with any other people, at any other time, I wouldn’t have paid a second thought to Carl and his outrageous hood drama. But this was different. This wasn’t just my party, it was Emily’s, too, and it was actually more for her and her late mother than it was for me. Tyler was here, my father and Uncle Ross were here, Gerti was here, and above all else, this was the home where my son laid his head every night. Nobody messed with the people I loved, and I was furious that Carl had brought his bullshit to my parents’ front door. I was trying to be good and make better choices, but now Carl had pissed me off. Before I knew it, the crazy, hotheaded, say-anything Samantha returned with a vengeance.

  I came up on Carl so close I could reach out and touch his nose. I stepped out of my heels and started removing my Swarovski crystal earrings as I spoke. “All right muthafucker, you made your point. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you come up in here, uninvited, and fuck things up for my family. Now, if you don’t get the hell outta here right now, I’ma start beatin’ your ass right here in front of all these people!”

  The music stopped, heads turned, and it was on.

  I wasn’t the least bit afraid because I knew that if I hit Carl, he only had one of two choices. He could either hit me back and face a serious beat down from every man under the tent, or he could walk away in shame. Either way, he was going to lose.

  “What the hell’s goin’ on?” Tyler said, coming up from the back. He quickly took me by my arm and shielded me behind him, where Uncle Ross was now standing. “What’s your damn problem, man?” he barked at Carl, unleashing his Brooklyn-born flavor.

  I didn’t want Tyler involved in my mess. But now that we were together, my mess was his mess, too. I felt terrible, but I didn’t have time for regrets, I had to think fast before something deadly happened.

  Crash!

  Everyone under the tent except Uncle Ross, Tyler, and me hit the ground as if bullets were flying. Uncle Ross didn’t flinch because he was tough like that. Tyler stayed firmly planted where he stood because he was fearless. And I didn’t move because I was crazy.

  I hadn’t noticed before now, but Carl had a beer bottle in his right hand and had thrown it to the ground, causing a loud explosion that landed at his feet. “Fuck you, ma’fucka!” he yelled at Tyler.

  They stood face-to-face, neither of them backing down. I heard my mother call out in the background, “Dear God in heaven, someone call the police!” I glanced over at her and she looked as though she were going to faint.

  If anyone had told me that my party would end up like this, I would’ve stayed inside my condo with the door locked and the dead bolt on. I stood in the middle of a backyard full of people, feeling pissed, humiliated, and stunned all at the same time. It was my birthday, and it was a freakin’ disaster.

  Daddy came running into the backyard with Emily behind him. He looked directly at me. “Sam, are you all right?”

  I was too disoriented to answer, so I simply nodded to show that I was okay.

  “I thought I told you to never come around here again,” Daddy said as he got up in Carl’s face. His voice was as hard as concrete, and I could tell that he was ready to wipe the floor with Carl’s ass.

  Thank God I would never know what could’ve happened next because just as Tyler, Daddy, Carl, and Ronnie all stepped to each other, one of the party guests wearing a silk shirt and pants that were way too tight came rushing over, holding up a badge. “Everyone step back!” he said. Then from out of nowhere, sirens started blaring and uniformed officers rushed in.

  Less than twenty minutes later it was all over. Carl and Ronnie were in the back of a squad car headed downtown.The event planner had dialed 911 as soon as Carl and Ronnie pushed past her and one of her servers on their way to the backyard. The police knew who Daddy was, and because the off-duty officer had witnessed the entire scene, it was pretty much a wrap.

  At first I thought I might be going downtown along with Carl and Ronnie because technically, I was the only person who had communicated a verbal threat. But I had the best trial lawyer on the East Coast by my side, so I was in the clear. Emily and Gerti stood close by as I made my statement under Daddy’s careful direction, while Tyler held my hand for emotional support.

  My family members stuck around, and to my surprise, nearly all the partygoers did, too. But I soon learned that they hadn’t stayed out of support or concern, they were just nosy. Rumors and speculation had already started to fly through the crowded tent. “When they searched him they found a gun and drugs,” one person whispered.

  The next sound I heard was my mother’s voice echoing through the air as she spoke over the microphone. “Thank you all for coming to celebrate Samantha and Emily’s thirtieth birthday,” she began, sounding as composed as she always did. “I deeply regret the unfortunate incident that you were subjected to, and I sincerely apologize on behalf of my family for any strain it has caused.The police have assured us that the perpetrators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

  She went on for another minute or two as she thanked everyone for their contributions to the MS Society and encouraged them to stay and have a good time. As I listened to her speak, she was the picture of calm. I marveled at how eloquently she handled the h
orrible situation, with dignified grace. She was strong and in control, not erratic and tactless as I had been. It was the first time in my entire life that I ever wanted to be like my mother.

  “That was smooth,”Tyler said.

  I nodded in agreement. “I’m ready to go.” I felt terrible and ashamed, and I couldn’t stay a minute longer, but I knew there was one thing I had to do first. “I just need to apologize to my mother before we leave.”

  “Apologize? To your mother?” Tyler said in disbelief. “Excuse me, but what’s your name?”

  “Yeah, I know, right?” This was the new me, and I was determined to make a change.

  Despite Mother’s urging for everyone to stay, the crowd quickly dispersed. Now that all the major drama had died down, they wanted to hurry home so they could crank up the gossip mill. Tyler went to bring the car around while I offered Emily a ride home. She actually looked more ready to go than I was. Meanwhile, I braced myself when I saw Mother and Aunt Dorothy approach.

  This was one time that I was prepared to acquiesce and accept whatever tongue-lashing Mother was going to dish out. This embarrassing fiasco wasn’t Carl’s fault, it was mine, for even being associated with him. I needed to claim responsibility for my role in what had happened.

  Mother walked up to me and stood close. “How dare you bring shame to this family . . . again!” she hissed in a low voice, looking at me through murderous eyes.

  “Calm down, Brenda,” Aunt Dorothy cautioned, placing her hand on Mother’s shoulder. “Let’s go back inside the house and have Gerti make you some tea.”

  Gerti rolled her eyes at Aunt Dorothy and sucked her teeth in disgust.

  I lowered my head. “Mother, I’m sorry for—”

  “And you should be,” she hissed again. “I spent my time, energy, and money trying to help you, and this is the thanks I get?”

  “What a bitch,” Uncle Ross said under his breath as he looked in Mother’s direction.

  Mother cut her eyes at Uncle Ross, then continued to speak to me in a low voice, but her tone roared like the rain falling atop the tent. “This is how you repay me for what I’ve done for you? With embarrassment, humiliation, and shame!”

  “I said I was sorry,” I pleaded.

  “That’s the story of your pathetic life! Sorry for getting high in the basement, sorry for the DUI your father had to bail you out of, sorry for having an illegitimate child.”

  I was trying to apologize, and I wanted to be calm and graceful as she’d been, but her last words set me off because now she’d gone too far. CJ wasn’t illegitimate. He was a blessing. The only thing I’d ever done that I was proud of. I put my hand on my hip and shot daggers at Mother with my eyes. “You better slow your roll,” I told her.

  Slap!

  My head went back, then twisted to the side as the palm of Mother’s hand came crashing down against the side of my cheek. “How dare you speak to me in that tone,” she spat through clenched teeth.

  Smack!

  I hit her back so hard my hand stung and she staggered backward, falling into Aunt Dorothy’s arms before regaining her footing. My head was about to explode. I’d always talked about how I wanted to slap my mother, but never in my life did I think I would actually do it. I lowered my head, feeling the first of an avalanche of tears that had begun to fall. Emily walked over to me, put her arm around my shoulder, and glared at Mother as though she wanted to slap her, too.

  Daddy stepped up and gave Mother an icy cold stare. “Dammit, Brenda! This is enough.”

  His hard tone startled her, and me, too. I had never heard Daddy speak to her in such a rough manner. Mother’s eyes opened wide, as if he’d just stepped on her big toe. Now I wasn’t sure who she was angrier with, Daddy or me.

  “Ed, how can you stand there and defend what your daughter just did,” she huffed.

  “Because we’ve all had enough drama for one evening,” Daddy huffed right back. He looked over at Emily, then to me. “Come on, ladies,Tyler’s waiting for you out front.”

  After Tyler and I dropped Emily off at her house, we headed home. We didn’t exchange many words during the ride back because we were each lost in our own thoughts about everything that had happened. I felt awful that he’d seen the ugly side of me at the party, and now that it was all over and he had time to digest it, I wondered what he was thinking. My only consolation was that he hadn’t witnessed the licks that Mother and I had exchanged while he was getting the car.

  I was relieved when we walked through my door and into the quiet safety of my home.Tyler and I still hadn’t said much to each other.We sat on the couch for a few minutes before I told him that I was going up to take a shower and clear my head. I left him downstairs and hoped he wasn’t rethinking our relationship.

  Just as I was getting things together, I fucked up again. Poor choices was my middle name.This was like déjà vu, the story of my life, and it made me remember the advice that Gerti had given me at the kitchen table just last weekend.

  I peeled out of my little black dress and stepped into the shower. It felt good standing under the stream of warm water as it rained down on my skin. I wished I could wash away my bad decisions and disappointment in myself, but I knew only time and hard work could do that. After an intensely long and self-reflecting cleanse, I toweled off and walked out to my bedroom. I stood still when I saw Tyler sitting in the middle of the bed holding a cupcake with a single candle in the center.

  “Happy birthday to you . . .” Tyler sang the birthday song to me as I stood before him, wrapped in my towel with a smile on my face and puddles of tears in my eyes. It took a hell of a lot to make me cry. Mother had taken me there tonight through anger and hurt, but Tyler was taking me there now, through joy and love. I sat on the bed, made a wish, and blew out the candle.

  “What did you wish for?”

  I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Like I told CJ tonight . . . that someday I’ll deserve this.”

  Tyler sat the cupcake on the nightstand and then held both of my hands in his. “Sam, I told you, you deserve more than you think.You just need to start believing it.”

  “How can you say that? You saw how I acted tonight.”

  “Yeah.” He chuckled. “You were talkin’ big shit. ‘I’ma beat your ass right here in front of all these people,’ ” he mimicked in a high-pitched voice, rolling his neck from side to side as he mimicked me.

  He’d just turned my vulgarity into humor.We both burst into laughter, falling back onto the bed as we roared until our sides hurt. My mind floated back to the conversation that Emily and I had when she asked me if a man had ever made me laugh.That was when it hit me that not only was Tyler my lover, he was my friend, and as Emily had said, he was the kind of man who could reach my heart.

  Tyler stroked his hand against my face and spoke to me softly, and gently. “Sam, I love everything about you, baby. I love the good side, the imperfect side, and the crazy wild side. I love it all because it makes you who you are.”

  I wanted to cry again, but I had bawled enough for one night. I replaced my tears with smiles and my embarrassment with hope. “I love you, too, Tyler.” I removed my towel, kissed my man, and thanked God for giving a prodigal child a second chance.

  Chapter 24

  Brenda . . .

  Jealousy Is a Terrible, Terrible Thing

  It was shortly after ten when Brenda said good night to her last guest, her sister, Dorothy. If the sight of the police cars that had been parked in front of her house wasn’t a dead giveaway that her party had been a complete disaster, the fact that her grand soiree had ended well before midnight definitely was.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Dorothy asked as she stood at Brenda’s front door.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. I can stay if you want to talk?”

  Brenda tried to paint on a resilient smile. “No, I’ll be okay, really.”

  “Call me tomorrow,” Dorothy said as she reluctantl
y walked to her car.

  Brenda shut the door, furious and completely disgusted. After all her hard work, her elegant summer garden party had turned into a triumphant disaster. At the moment, she was thankful for only two things. The first was that Juanita Presley had caught a twenty-four-hour bug and hadn’t been able to attend, and the second was that all the guests had dispersed before Samantha had provoked her into a physical confrontation. Just the thought of it all made her head pound.

  Brenda walked over to the patio door and looked out into the backyard—the scene of the crime. The large, empty tent was dark and full of disappointment; a stark contrast to the life it had breathed at the beginning of what she thought would be a spectacular evening. Instead, she was humiliated in front of a crowd of the most powerful Who’s Who in DC. Every time she thought about her daughter, her head throbbed even harder. She knew that Samantha hated her, but she had no idea how much until tonight. “Samantha ruined everything for me,” Brenda fumed, touching the red welt that shined bright on the side of her face.

  Samantha had even ruined her chances of securing the prestigious board position she’d been coveting. She was incredulous that her goals had been ripped apart in a matter of minutes. “I was so close,” Brenda lamented, thinking about how the chairwoman of Rock Creek Family Support Collaborative had smiled when she heard Emily give loud praise for her kindness and generosity. The disappointment was too much for Brenda to bear, so she headed for the kitchen to claim the bottle of champagne with her name on it. She’d left the bubbly chilling in the refrigerator, a reward to herself in celebration of her fabulous party. But now, it would serve as salve to help ease her wounds.