Playing the Hand You're Dealt

by Trice Hickman

  I wanted to be a bigger person. After all, I knew better than anyone what it was like to mess up. My father had always been there for me, loving and encouraging me through all of my mistakes. And Emily had been a rock-solid friend who I could depend on, and had even raised my child when I couldn’t. I wanted to forgive, and I wanted to embrace them again. I had done a lot of growing, but I still had a long way to go because I couldn’t get past the image I saw that night: Emily looking nervous, trying to get rid of me before my father arrived.

  I stepped out of my handmade silk gown after the seamstress tucked the final pin into place, and waited for her to leave the fitting room before I spoke. “I know, Gerti. But I just need time,” I said quietly.

  I looked in the mirror, my white satin slip hanging on my thin frame. I thought about my wedding gown and the careful alterations that would provide the perfect fit. I hoped that one day my relationship with Emily and my father could be mended as nicely. I wanted us to be whole again, but getting there was going to take time.

  “All right, Sam,” Gerti said, taking a deep breath. “I understand your hurt, but don’t take too much time. Life is short and you might not get another chance to make things right.”

  Chapter 41

  Emily . . .

  Finally Had to Let It Go

  “How was your day?” Ed asked as he came through the back door. He kissed me on my cheek and sat beside me on the couch.

  “It was good,” I said, smiling back at him. “Everything went well.”

  I had just completed my first full week back on the job. My coworkers thought I was crazy for returning with only a few weeks left in the school year, but I knew it was time to get back on track, regardless of where the starting line began. I’d been out since last fall after taking an indefinite leave of absence. I needed the time to recover.

  After my miscarriage I was so distraught that I could barely function. I wanted to be strong for Ed because he had suffered, too, but the culmination of loss was too great. My dreams were dashed in one swift, crushing blow. And poor Ed. He was just as devastated. That first night home from the hospital we held each other in bed, shutting out the world as we tried to heal.

  Thankfully, Ed was able to move on much quicker than I had. I was a wreck back then. I lay around the house for three weeks before I attempted to call Samantha. She had sent me a beautiful sympathy card, but when I tried to reach out to her she wouldn’t answer my calls or respond to the e-mails and texts I sent. I missed her.

  I knew that my best friend was an integral part of my life, but I hadn’t realized how much until she was absent from it. Normally, if something happened to me, good or bad, Samantha was there to share the occasion. Now she was gone, and it was all because of the incredibly bad choices I had made. I should have come forward with the truth from the very beginning, no matter how hard it would have been for all of us to swallow. I realized now that dreading something was far worse than doing it.

  Ed missed Samantha, too. I would see a glimpse of sadness cross his eyes from time to time, and I knew it was because of his broken relationship with his daughter. He and I went back and forth, blaming ourselves for the way things had fallen apart. But after months of unreturned phone calls and unanswered mail, we finally had to let it go and start living again.

  “I’m going to order dinner. Are you in the mood for Japanese or Italian?” Ed asked as he rose from the couch and headed toward the cabinet in search of a take-out menu.

  “Ms. Gerti’s fried chicken.” I smiled, following him into the kitchen. “It’s in the fridge. She dropped it off at school this afternoon when she picked up CJ.”

  “Nothing hits the spot like Gerti’s fried chicken.” Ed grinned as he set two plates on the counter.

  “Tomorrow is Samantha’s big day,” I said. I wanted to sound upbeat, but how could I?

  I was supposed to be her maid of honor and Ed was supposed to walk her down the aisle. Instead, others who had never shared in her most heartfelt joys or painful sorrows would be doing the honors. I had hoped and prayed that by some stroke of divine intervention, Samantha would have a change of heart. I envisioned her ringing my phone and asking Ed and me to celebrate with her. But with less than twenty-four hours before she was set to say I do, I had to embrace the reality that like my lost child, it was another crushed dream.

  Ed walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in close. “I know,” he said. “But don’t be sad, because we have a lot to celebrate, and although it might not seem like it now, time heals all wounds. Sam is going to come around.”

  “You think?”

  “Emily, I don’t think, I know. And just as surely as she’s going to marry Tyler tomorrow, and I’m going to make you my wife in two weeks, we’ll all be celebrating together one day.You’ll see.”

  I looked into the steadfast eyes of the man who I knew I would love until my dying day, and for the first time in a long time, I shed a tear.

  Chapter 42

  Gerti . . .

  Three Years Later

  It’s Thanksgiving day, and I’m as happy as I can be. I started cooking yesterday to make sure I’d have everything ready by this afternoon. All that’s left to do now is put the yeast rolls in the oven before everyone gets here. Out of all the holidays, this one is my favorite. It’s a time for family and a time to give thanks for all of God’s grace, all of his mercy, and all of his blessings. It’s a time to celebrate with the people you love. I’ve done some living on this here earth, and I learned a long time ago that family has nothing to do with blood, but love has everything to do with forgiveness.

  As I walk through the kitchen and place a freshly baked sweet potato pie on the sideboard with the rest of the desserts, I smile, thinking about the feast we’re going to devour when everyone arrives.

  I look at my watch. I still have a half hour before my doorbell will start ringing and a small herd of people who I love most in this world will come bursting in, ready to eat, laugh, and enjoy each other as we celebrate and give thanks for our blessings. I walk into the living room and sit for a moment to reflect on this day and the magnitude of what it means.

  It’s hard to believe that just three years ago, this day was a living nightmare. I’ll never forget when I picked up the phone that morning and heard Tyler’s voice on the other end. “Um, Gerti . . . Sam and I aren’t going to make it for dinner,” he’d said, sounding congested and stuffy.

  The boy had gone and caught a cold, but that wasn’t the reason why they weren’t coming to the house for Thanksgiving dinner. He told me everything that had happened the night before, how Sam had learned the truth about Emily and her father, and about the baby they were expecting. Hell, that last part took me by surprise and added a whole new dimension to things. A baby was normally a blessing, but in that already sensitive situation, it was like igniting a powder keg.

  I remember sitting down and feeling a heavy burden in my heart that day. The phone rang a few minutes later and I instantly knew that the call was going to bring more bad news, and it did. It was Ed. I let him know that Tyler had just called and told me everything. Ed listened in silence and then piled tragic news on top of bad. Emily had lost the baby.

  The holidays that year were something awful. But I made sure that CJ wasn’t affected too badly. We still had a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, and a big tree in the living room the next month for Christmas. I skirted around his questions when he asked why his Auntie Emee didn’t come around anymore and why his papa hadn’t lived in the house in months. I tell you, it was a rough time around here.

  That summer, Sam and Tyler got married. She made the perfect June bride, Tyler was the model of a proud, handsome groom, and CJ was the cutest little ring bearer in his black tuxedo. And Brenda, she took the cake. She looked good, dressed as sharp as ever, but she was mad as hell because Sam had requested that the ushers seat me right beside her on the pew reserved for the mother of the bride. She looked like she was sucking on a le
mon throughout the entire service. But as usual, I didn’t pay her one bit of attention, ’cause that day wasn’t about her.

  Sam wore a long, traditional white gown. Even though everybody in the church, including me, thought that white was a big stretch for her, it was what she wanted. It was a beautiful wedding full of love, but at the same time the ceremony carried a sense of sadness. Although it was touching that her favorite cousin, Parker, walked her down the aisle, I knew she wished that her father had given her hand away in marriage. And while her cousin, Claudette, made a nice maid of honor, I knew with all my heart that she wished it had been Emily standing beside her, holding her bouquet while she repeated her vows.

  Two weeks later I went to the courthouse downtown for a less extravagant wedding. Ed and Emily exchanged vows in a simple ceremony within one of the judge’s chambers. She was radiant. Just as beautiful as she could be in an ivory-colored silk dress that flowed around her body. And Ed looked dashing in his dark gray suit and ivory shirt and tie. Emily’s neighbor, Ruben, stood by her side, while Ed’s best friend, Ross, stood by his.

  After the ceremony, Emily asked me about Sam’s wedding. “It was grand, and she looked so pretty,” I told her. “But it was missing the two people she loves dearly.”

  “She won’t return my phone calls or e-mails,” Emily said.

  “Don’t you get sad on me,” I coaxed. “This is a happy day, so you enjoy it. Sam will come around. Just give her some time.”

  Emily nodded and walked over to a bag she’d placed in one of the chairs. She pulled out a card and a beautifully wrapped box. “From Ed and me, for Samantha and Tyler,” she said. “Tell her that I wish her happiness, and nothing but the best.”

  Ding, ding, dong. The sound of the ringing doorbell draws me from the past and back to where I’m so happy to be at this present moment. I walk to the front door and smile. “Happy Thanksgiving, Gerti!” Sam screams. That child is still loud as hell, and ain’t never gonna change. But that’s why I love her. She wraps her long arms around me for a big hug.

  She looks good, and most of all, happy. Her long weave has been replaced by a sophisticated chin-length bob that suits her slim features. She doesn’t paint her face up like she used to, now it’s just a little blush on her cheeks and some tinted lip gloss. She’s still long and skinny, but she has a strong, healthy glow that let’s me know she’s living right.

  “Hey, Gerti!” Tyler says, giving me a kiss on my cheek. He looks the same, with the exception of a few gray hairs at his temple, which I knew would happen being married to Sam and running after two very active little boys.

  “Chase, come back here,” Samantha says as their sandy-haired two-year-old zips past me and dashes straight toward the kitchen.

  “I’ll get him,” CJ says as he gives me a quick kiss on my cheek and then runs after his little brother.

  I smile as we all walk into the living room. CJ is tall and lanky, just like his mother, and Chase is compact and lean, like his father. They’re great kids, and Sam’s a big part of why. She’s turned into a fine mother and I couldn’t be more proud.

  After they settle in, the doorbell rings again. “I’ll be right back,” I say, heading to the front door.

  “Hey, Ms. Gerti!” Emily smiles, giving me a hug so warm and tight you’d think she hadn’t seen me in years instead of just yesterday afternoon when she came by to pick up Elise, her two-year-old daughter.

  Losing her first baby nearly crippled Emily. She grieved hard because she didn’t just lose a child that night, she lost her best friend, too. Ed took care of things so she could take a long leave of absence from her job. In the weeks that followed she cried and prayed, and then cried and prayed some more until she finally started to heal. Marrying Ed helped her to recover, and when they found out she was pregnant again, the light came back into her eyes.

  “Nana Gerrrreeee!” Elise says, grinning in her father’s arms. I thought it was nice that Emily gave her daughter her best friend’s middle name.

  I lean over and kiss Elise on her soft cheek. Emily and Ed have the most adorable little girl in the world, with pink bows tied around long ponytails that hang to her shoulders, a smile just like her mother’s, and eyes so big and brown you can drown in them. She has a sweet, gentle nature just like Emily, and a strong-willed, confident side like Ed. He drops her off in the morning and Emily picks her up in the afternoon. Elise and I go for long walks in the quiet neighborhood where I purchased my very own home. All those years of not having to pay rent when I worked for the Baldwins came in real handy.

  “What do you say to Nana Gerti?” Ed smiles at Elise, holding his little girl like she’s his most prized possession.

  “Appy tanksgibin.” She grins wide as she claps her little hands together.

  “Awww, ain’t that sweet.” I smile. “Y’all come on in, everyone’s almost here.”

  As soon as Emily and Sam see each other, they embrace. “Girl, you look so good!” Sam says to Emily.

  “Just tryin’ to keep up with you.” Emily smiles back, hugging her friend.

  Looking at these two girls makes my whole day!

  After I gave Sam the wedding gift that Emily and Ed bought her, she still didn’t make an effort to reach out to them. It was the last traces of her childish stubbornness, mixed with a little hurt. Then a few months later, they both called me with news that they were pregnant. At that point I told Sam point-blank that it was time for the silliness to end.

  It’s amazing how children can change things. A week after I spoke to Sam, she called Emily. It wasn’t easy for her, but slowly she let her guard down and opened up her heart.

  “Hey, Sam.” Ed smiles as he walks over to give her a kiss. “How’s my girl.”

  “Daddy!” Samantha says, bursting into another big smile. She wraps her arms around her father, who is still holding Elise, and gives them both kisses on their cheeks. “Look at my lil sis, all cute in her pink ribbons and ponytails,” Samantha coos. She pauses a minute. “It’s still weird that my sister and my son are the same age.”

  I smile and nod. “That’s life.”

  “And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she says with sincerity, looking over to Emily. “I really mean that.”

  Ding, ding, dong. The doorbell sounds again. I know who it is, and I’m glad he’s finally here.

  “Happy Thanksgiving, Gerti,” my tall, dark and handsome cousin greets me. He is holding a bottle of wine to go along with his beaming smile.

  “Harry, it’s so good to see you. Come on in.”

  My cousin, Harry Winston, is a small but very important part of why this day is even able to happen. A few years ago, right before all hell broke loose, he unknowingly became involved with the woman I worked for.

  I’ll never forget the night he called me. Harry and I had lost touch once we graduated from high school and moved away from our small town. We’d vaguely kept up with each other through a distant aunt we shared, so when I heard from him out of the blue, questioning me about Brenda, I nearly dropped the phone.

  Harry told me that a miracle had happened and that he’d reconnected with the woman of his dreams. When we were teenagers, his father’s friend was able to get Harry a summer job in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard. It was a big deal for us country folk from Alabama. After the summer ended, Harry returned home completely love-struck. He’d met a girl named Betty whose wealthy family had vacationed there. She had his nose wide open, and over the years, Harry never forgot about the girl he’d met that summer, the one he called the woman of his dreams.

  All I could do was shake my head at the thought that Brenda had given him a false name. She’d been sneaky, even as a teenager—some things never change.When Harry saw her at the hotel, he remembered her right away. He looked her up in the hotel registry and found all of her information. He knew I was living in DC, working for a well-to-do family, so he took a chance and called our great-aunt Mary to get my phone number.

  I found out about their af
fair the night of Emily and Samantha’s big birthday party. Harry’s nose was still open after all those years. I told him the real deal about Brenda, but he wouldn’t believe me. He had a fantasy in his mind that had never left him.Well, you can’t argue with grown folk. So I shut my mouth, sat back, and let him find out for himself.

  Harry called me right after a big blowout they’d had.When he told me how he struck the fear of God in Brenda by pretending he was going to blackmail her, I encouraged him to string her along and keep her on edge for as long as he could. I know everybody gets what’s coming to them, but sometimes people need a little help along the way!

  Knowing she had dirt hanging over her head kept Brenda from fighting Ed on the divorce and causing all kinds of hell. I had sat back and watched her ruin lives for too long. Emily and Ed deserved a shot at happiness, and so did Sam. Brenda needed to either let them be happy or stay out of the way, which turned out to be one and the same.

  By the time Brenda learned the truth about Emily and Ed, the divorce papers had already been finalized and the two of them were living together. Boy oh boy, was she furious! I knew she could be sneaky and vindictive, but even I had underestimated her ability to act a plumb fool. She stalked Emily, made harassing phone calls to her house day and night, and tried to run her over one day when she was leaving the grocery store. But what took the cake was when she showed up at Ed’s office and threatened to cut off his privates and shove them down his throat . . . but only after she killed him first! But the humiliation of her public arrest after the outburst finally quieted her down. Today, she still lives in her big fancy house on the Gold Coast, but she has no one to share it with.