by Lori Ryan
“I am.”
“Dak said you were on the phone with Earl Fisk.”
“I was.” She didn’t want to say more, especially about the vandalism.
“Oh.” Her mother nodded and walked around the room, rearranging a picture on Lina’s dresser and straightening her comforter.
Her mother was anxious, a concept completely foreign to Lina. Giovanna Dante Rossi Bianchi was many things, but nervous had never been one of them.
“Mom, what is it? What’s going on?”
Her mother shrugged innocently. “Can’t a mom visit her daughter?”
Yeah, she could, but Lina could count on two hands how many times her mother had been to the house to visit her. She never made any secret of the fact she didn’t approve of Lina living with Dak and Cam.
“I just wanted to talk to you.”
“About?” Lina turned her chair to face her mother who was still standing.
Her mother perched on the corner of Lina’s bed. “I can’t stay long,” she said, “I’ve got to help Nonna for the dinner crowd.”
“Okay.” Again, Lina was confused.
“I just wanted to say that…I’m proud of you Angelina. Proud of the woman you’ve become.”
Lina’s eyes went wide, her mouth half open.
“Don’t look so surprised.”
“But I am.”
“I tell you all the time I’m proud of you.” Her mother creased the fabric of her skirt, then ran a hand to smooth out the wrinkle she’d made.
“No, you don’t.”
“Well,” she played with a string on the comforter, “I think it, even if I don’t say it.”
How could her mother be proud of Lina? She hadn’t finished college, had barely finished high school, thanks to what had always seemed like charity from several of her teachers at the end there. Lina’s sisters were studying to become respectable members of society, while Lina flitted from one part-time job to another, still not able to find her place.
“Your video really…opened my eyes,” her mother said.
“To what?”
She stared at Lina, her eyes intense and filled with compassion and pride Lina hadn’t seen in a long time.
“To what is truly in your heart,” she said.
“You didn’t already know that?”
“Did you?” her mother asked.
It was a fair question. “I’m not sure I did.”
“All I’ve ever wanted was for my girls to live a life they were happy with.”
Lina could feel her unease growing. “And you think I’m not?”
“I think you live with doubt, and a lot of resentment.”
“And guilt,” Lina said, standing, clenching her hands. “Don’t forget guilt, Mom. You never let me live down the fact that we moved here because of me.”
“We moved here because I was afraid for you, Angelina. Afraid for your safety. Like I am now.”
“Why are you afraid now?”
“The brick through your car. What if you were in that car, what if—” Her mother’s mouth trembled and she covered it with her fist.
“Mom,” she said, moving toward her, “I’m fine. It was just a silly prank.”
“The kind you used to do?”
Lina thought about all the stupid things she’d done when she was a teen and started hanging out with the wrong crowd. She’d never meant for her actions to hurt anyone, but they had. Maybe not physically, but people had been hurt.
“Sit with me for a moment.” Her mom patted the bed.
Lina obliged.
“We’re Italian, Lina. Guilt is built into our DNA.”
Lina snorted.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel guilty. It’s me who feels guilty.”
“Why?” Lina asked.
“I didn’t see that you were hanging out with the wrong crowd. I should have stopped it sooner. Your father and I were so busy with the restaurant, we left you in charge of your sisters long before you were ready for that. We relied on you to do things a lot more than we should have. And in the evening, when one of us was home, you had nothing better to do, so you wandered.”
“With the wrong crowd.”
Her mother nodded.
Lina had become involved with a small gang in New Jersey. They weren’t the kind who killed people for fun, just got into way more trouble than they should have.
“I didn’t want to see you get pregnant like so many of the young girls in our neighborhood,” her mother said. “Or worse yet, go to jail like your friend.”
Lina wanted to explain to her mother that she hadn’t been the slutty girl everyone said she’d been, but after saying it a hundred times she’d finally gotten tired and just rolled with it.
“I only want what’s best for you, Lina. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you and your sisters.”
Lina nodded “I know.”
“Do you?”
She glanced up at her mother.
Her mother’s face looked pained. “I could have done a better job showing you. I guess, I always thought I knew what was best for you, but I think I should have let you know I was proud of who you were becoming.”
Lina laughed.
“Turns out, what’s best for you, topolina, is letting you be you.” She tapped Lina’s nose.
Lina smiled at the affectionate name, her mind immediately going to Becca.
“Actually, I think I kind of understand you a little better now that I’ve spent time with Jake and Becca.”
Her mother studied her, head tilted. “In what way?”
“That whole thing about you wanting what’s best for me, to keep me safe.”
“Is that what you want for Becca?”
“Of course.” A lump formed in Lina’s throat at the thought of never seeing her again, or at least not being a big part of the girl’s life again.
“How are things between you and Jake and Becca?”
Lina kept her head down. “They’re not.”
“You broke up?”
She glanced up at her mother, surprised to see sorrow on her face. She nodded.
Her mother came closer. “Why?”
“I don’t do commitment, Mom. You know that.”
“Just because that weasel Damien Hayes cheated on you with your best friend and broke your heart doesn’t mean you should close off your heart, Lina.”
“It wasn’t just Damien, it was a lot of things.”
“Like?”
“I’m no good at relationships, with guys or with children. You know I’ve never wanted kids of my own.”
Her mother burst out laughing.
Lina stared at her like she was crazy. “What?”
“You think you don’t do relationships?” Her mother scoffed and waved her hand.
“I’ve never been involved with a guy, seriously, since Damien.”
“Just because you haven’t been involved romantically doesn’t mean you don’t do relationships, topolina.”
Lina thought about that for a moment.
“Look at all the people you care for in the town, who care for you. You’ve opened your heart to them. Why couldn’t you do it for this man and his daughter?”
Lina feared she already had, and totally screwed it up.
Her phone rang and she glanced at the screen, her heart flipping in her chest when she saw it was Jake.
Maybe her mother was right. Could she try?
She answered without hesitation. “Hey—”
Before she could finish Jake was talking. “Do you know where Becca might have gone?”
Ice ran through her veins. “What do you mean? Is she missing?”
“Yes.” His voice was thick and heavy with desperation. “My little girl is missing.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Lina tried to reassure him, glancing up at her mother. “When and where was the last time you saw her?”
“Stephanie saw her running out of the front door of the lodge about twenty minutes ago. She
said she looked upset but wasn’t sure what was going on and she assumed she was headed to my mom’s house.”
“Did she have Dog?” Lina asked, having no idea why, but it seemed important to know if the little girl had her stuffed bunny with her.
“I don’t know, why?”
She didn’t say what she was thinking. Somehow, she knew Becca wouldn’t be as scared if she had Dog with her. Lina’s eyes burned with tears and her hands trembled. How did Dak and Cam handle missing child calls?
Think, Lina, she told herself. Where would Becca go if she were upset? She loved books. “Have you tried the book store? No, never mind that’s too far.” Her mind raced for locations around the lodge that would draw the girl.
“We’re all here searching the area.”
She heard Jake’s silent request.
“Don’t worry, I’m on my way. We’ll find her, Jake.”
She pressed her forefinger and thumb to her temples, trying to think like Becca. She’d been at the lodge, had possibly gotten upset. Where would she go? “You’ve checked with Sally?”
“Yes, Mia called her. Aunt Sally hasn’t seen her today.”
“Who else has she spent a lot of time with other than you?” Lina’s mother asked, obviously putting two and two together from Lina’s end of the conversation.
Suddenly Lina knew exactly where they’d find her. “Call, Devlin,” she told Jake. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She stood, her mother moving with her. “We’ll find her, Jake, I promise.”
Lina just hoped it was a vow she could keep.
Chapter Thirty-One
Her mother’s car barely rolled to a stop before Lina was out and racing toward Devlin and Max’s backyard. Already a crowd had formed—most of them Sumners—but among them Phoebe and Jake, both looking even older than their years.
“Becca, come down right now.” Jake’s pained command rang through the trees surrounding the edge of the property.
Lina pushed past the crowd until she was at the base of the old tree, looking up. She could barely see Becca’s sparkly pink tennis shoes. “Becca, honey, what’s going on?”
Becca looked down through the branches, her face red and tear-stained, two fingers shoved in her mouth. That’s when Lina noticed Dog wasn’t with her. The little girl was probably terrified and she didn’t even have the stuffed animal she took everywhere with her.
Lina turned to face Jake. “What happened?”
His face was ashen, hair disheveled. God, he was trembling. If there had been any doubt he loved his daughter, no one could deny it now.
“I don’t know,” he said, his eyes never leaving Becca. “She won’t say. All she keeps shouting is, ‘Go away.’ I tried to climb up but she started screaming bloody murder and I thought she was going to fall.”
Lina thought about what could cause a little girl to climb a tree so high that she was afraid to come down. She’d been hurt. By someone here. Maybe Jake or one of her grandparents.
“What did you say to her last?” Lina asked.
“I can’t remember.” He shook his head and she realized he would be no help. His focus was clouded with fear.
“Max,” she said over her shoulder, “get me your ladder. I’m going up.”
“No way, Lina,” Jake said. “That’s too high. Max and I will go.”
Lina shook her head. “She won’t let you. She’s angry with you.”
Everyone stared at her. It was the truth and they all knew it.
She studied the tree. Max had already built a ladder to the platform of what would someday be the treehouse, but Becca had climbed up much farther than that. Maybe Lina could go up to the platform, then Max could hand her a small ladder and she could prop it on the platform to get to Becca.
The plan made Lina dizzy, but she had to try.
“I’m coming up, Becca,” she called up.
“No!” Becca shouted back.
“Where’s Dog?” Lina asked.
Through the limbs she could see Becca’s lip tremble. “I dropped him,” she said on a sob.
Lina tried to keep her breathing steady, hoping she could keep Becca calm and still. Still was good right now.
“Okay, well, he’s probably scared so I’m going to come up and see if I can help him. Okay?”
“Okay,” the little girl said quietly, nodding her head.
“Oh, thank God,” she heard Phoebe sigh behind her.
Lina glanced over her shoulder. “I think you guys should back up. She’s probably freaked out by all of you. Obviously something happened to upset her…”
“I’m not leaving her, Lina,” Jake said, his jaw tense.
“Yes, you are!” Becca shouted.
So that was it. Jake had said something, something that had obviously crushed the little girl.
“What did you say to her?” Lina asked Jake. “Why does she think you’re leaving?”
“I have no idea,” he whispered, raking a hand through his hair.
“Look, I know you want to stay and help her, but right now, we need to calm her down,” Lina explained. “Just, back up a little so you’re out of her line of sight.”
“No,” Jake said, his jaw going even tighter. God, he looked so much like his daughter as his eyes flashed with emotion, it was scary.
“Fine,” she said, knowing she didn’t have time to argue. She moved toward the ladder and grabbed the first rung. “I’m coming up,” she said, “to find Dog. Stay where you are. When I find him I know he’ll want to see you.”
Becca didn’t say anything but she didn’t move either.
“Lina, you have to be careful,” Max said.
“I’ve climbed a hundred trees, are you kidding?” Lina laughed nervously. She had shimmied up trees, but nothing like the ones found on Devlin and Max’s property.
Lina took a breath and climbed the planks, then scrambled up to the platform. Glancing up, she could see that Becca’s pants were ripped, a trickle of blood already staining the jeans. She told herself it was likely just a scratch.
“Hey, topolina,” she said softly. “What’s going on?”
Becca was still at least six feet away from her, clinging to a branch. If Lina made one wrong move, the little girl could tumble out and fall, and that fall wasn’t going to be a small one.
Becca just stared at her, wide-eyed.
Lina tried for calm. “Stay right where you are, I’m going to look for Dog.”
“He’s right there.” She pointed behind Lina.
Lina drew in a sharp breath, fearing for Becca when she let go of her hold.
The thought of Becca hurting herself, of falling…Lina had never felt so sick to her stomach in her life.
“Do you see him?” Becca asked.
Okay, this was good. Lina could use Dog as leverage to get the girl to come down.
“I see him,” she shouted with more excitement than she had, but she knew she had to tamp down the fear in her voice. Quickly picking up Dog, Lina surveyed the tree, trying to plan her best route. She hadn’t realized how tricky it was to climb trees as an adult.
“I’ve got the ladder,” Jake said from the ground. “I’m bringing it up.”
“No!” Becca nearly screamed, her voice echoing through the woods.
“It’s okay, Jake. We’ve got it.” Lina tried to sound sure of herself even though she was anything but. She stuffed Dog into the waistband of her pants and secured her footing on one branch while yanking herself up on the others. This was good, her footing was strong and now Becca less than four feet from her. She could actually reach up and touch the girl’s feet.
Thankfully, Becca didn’t move.
Lina shifted and hoisted herself higher, her face coming almost even with Becca’s.
Red-rimmed and puffy eyes met her, the girl’s chin quivering.
“Hey, cutie,” Lina said, tugging Dog from her pants. “Look who I found.”
Becca smiled, ever so slightly, then tried to reach out but teetered on the branch.
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“Hold on, topolina,” Lina said, her breath catching in her throat. “Don’t move okay.”
Becca nodded, eyes wide.
“Why don’t you let me hold you and then you can hold Dog, okay?” Even as she said the words, she wasn’t sure she could hold them both and work their way down the tree. But she didn’t have a choice. She’d do whatever she had to to make sure this girl was safe.
What Lina’s mom had told her earlier rang true in that moment. She’d said all she ever wanted was for Lina to be safe. Lina understood that now. She’d do anything for Becca.
“Come on,” Lina said, securing her footing before holding out one hand.
Becca inched closer and Lina wrapped her arm around her waist, tugging her to her.
There was a collective gasp as the crowd below watched.
Becca’s gaze went from Lina’s to the ground and she wobbled.
“Back up!” Lina shouted, knowing they were only making Becca more nervous.
“I’m not leaving,” Jake shouted back up.
“Yes, you are,” Becca shouted. “You don’t want me.” Tears welled in the girl’s eyes and Lina’s heart broke a little.
“That’s not true,” he yelled back up.
“Everybody down there is waiting for you,” Lina said, trying to convince the girl. “They want you down safely.” The words were true. This town had taken Jake’s daughter in and never questioned that she was one of them. Just like they had Lina.
“I’m not staying,” Becca said quietly.
“Why not?”
“Jake said he doesn’t want me.”
She noticed Becca was calling him Jake now. This couldn’t be good. “When did he say that, sweetie?”
“Earlier. I heard him talking in the office.”
“Did he say that to you, Becca? To your face?”
She shook her head.
“Well, I tell you what. Why don’t we get down from this tree and we can talk to him, face to face? Because I have a feeling you might have misunderstood or heard part of a conversation. Your daddy loves you.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” she pouted.
“Well, I know your Grammy wants to see you. She’s very worried.”
Becca’s gaze moved from Lina’s down to the ground. “Grammy!” she shouted.