by Lori Ryan
In an instant Phoebe came to the front of the growing crowd, staring up at her. “Yes, sweetheart?”
“I want to go home.”
“Of course, darling, whatever you want. We’ll do whatever you want, just come down, all right?” She could hear the strain in Phoebe’s voice. The poor woman had already lost her daughter. Lina vowed in that moment to never let anything happen to Becca. Well, at least right this second. They’d all be leaving soon.
Becca stared at her grandmother then looked back at Lina. She whispered in a voice so low, Lina had to lean in to hear her. “I want to go home.”
Lina kissed the little girl’s head. “Me too, sweetheart, me too.”
“Lina, what the hell are you doing up there?”
Lina glanced down and saw Dak standing, broad-shouldered, hands on hip, his face scowling.
“He said a bad word,” Becca whispered in her ear.
“He did,” Lina nodded. “Is it okay if Dak comes up here to help us get down.”
Becca’s gaze traveled from Lina to Dak and back.
“He owes you a dollar, right?” Lina smiled.
“Mija,” Cam called from below. “What are you doing up there so high?”
“Cam,” Becca sighed.
Lina was grateful for Cam’s calm demeanor, as if being twenty feet in the air with a small child wasn’t scary as hell.
“You need to come down,” he said. “We can make pancakes.”
Becca nodded. “Okay.” She laid her head on Lina’s shoulder. “Can Cam come up here too?”
“Of course, topolina.” As much as Lina wanted to rub the little girl’s back and soothe away her pain, she couldn’t risk taking her hand off the limb. “Dak, Cam!” she shouted.
“Yeah,” they said in unison.
“Could you bring up the ladder. Becca wants to come down.”
“Sure thing, angel,” Cam called up loud enough for Becca to hear. “We’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”
“What does that mean?” Becca asked, her voice sounding a little surer now.
“It means quick,” Lina said.
Before they could even count to ten, Dak and Cam were up in the tree, placing the ladder on the platform six feet below them. They settled it against a branch next to Lina and Becca.
With his usual dexterity, Cam was the first to the top.
“What’s up, hot cakes?” he asked Becca.
She giggled and Lina finally drew in a reassuring breath.
“Want to make cinnamon roll pancakes with me for dinner?”
Becca shrugged.
“All right, come on sweetheart. We can talk about it when we get your down. Come to Cam.” He held out his huge hands and Becca slipped into them easily.
There was another gasp below but Lina had no fear. She trusted Cam with her life, and with Becca’s.
“That-a-girl,” Cam said as he made his way down the ladder and headed toward the edge of the platform to carry Becca to the ground.
“Wait!” she yelled, staring up to where Lina was still perched high above them. “We have to get toe-poe-lina, too.” She pointed up at Lina pronouncing each syllable of the name distinctly.
Lina smiled, her heart squeezing at the endearment and the fact that Becca was worried about her as well.
“I’ll get her,” Dak said, quickly climbing the ladder. He stared up at Lina, his green eyes filled with worry, but smiling. “Let’s go, toe-poe-lina.” He grinned, mimicking the child-like pronunciation.
“Anyone ever tell you that your Italian sucks?” She laughed.
Dak shrugged. “Yeah, my roommate tells me all the time. But she’s a hardass so I don’t listen. Come on. Let’s get you down, smart mouth.”
Lina laughed, something she never thought she would do at this point, and slipped into Dak’s strong arms.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and she clung to him like a monkey until he sat her gently on the platform.
Becca looked up at her and smiled, holding out her hand.
Lina took the petite thing in hers then squatted down. “You scared me, topolina.” She brushed Becca’s curls from her face. “You scared all of us.”
Becca scuffed her shoes on the platform. “I’m sorry.” She was just about to shove her fingers in her mouth but stopped.
Lina had noticed she seemed to be trying to stop the habit lately. She squatted down, taking Becca’s small shoulders in her hands. “Please don’t ever run away like that again, okay?”
Becca nodded.
“Promise?”
“Yes,” she said quietly.
“Yeah,” Cam said, squatting down, “you scared me and Armadillo.” He reached out and squeezed Dog.
Becca smiled. “I’m sorry. I was just…” her lip trembled and Lina knew she needed to get her down off the platform so she could figure out what Jake had really said.
“It’s okay now,” she said, “let’s get down to the ground and we can talk. Okay?”
Becca nodded. “I don’t want to talk to Jake, though.”
Lina glanced over the railing of the platform.
Jake was standing, hands on his head, his face still so pale she thought he might pass out. Had he said he didn’t want Becca? If he had, she was going to kill him.
It wasn’t her place to say Becca could avoid Jake. If he wanted to talk to his daughter, that was his business. “Let’s go see your Grammy.”
Becca nodded and waited as Cam went down the planks of the tree trunk first, then helped Becca down. Lina and Dak followed until all four were solidly on the ground.
Jake rushed to Becca, his arms outstretched.
She turned her back on him, clinging to Cam.
Jake stopped, his face a mask of shock and grief.
“I want Grammy,” the little girl said.
Phoebe stepped up next to Cam and took Becca from his arms.
Becca clung to her grandmother with all her might.
Tears spilled down Phoebe’s face and Lina’s heart ached for the woman.
Becca was crying softly.
Phoebe stroked her back. “It’s all right, sweetie, it’s all right.”
“I want to go home, Grammy.” Becca said softly.
“Of course,” Phoebe whispered against her head. “Of course we can go home.”
“We’ll get you home and get you something to eat,” Valerie said coming to stand next to Phoebe and Becca.
Becca straightened up and stared at Valerie, then turned her eyes to Phoebe. “I want to go to our home.”
“In California?” Phoebe asked.
Becca nodded.
“I can get us home,” Jake said, walking up next to them.
Becca stared at him like he was a traitor. “You don’t want me.”
“I never said that, Becca. I would never say that.”
“You did.” Becca pointed to a man standing beside Max and Devlin. “To him.”
Everyone turned. It was Grant Sumner, Jake’s twin.
“You were listening?” Jake asked.
Oh hell, had he really said that?
Grant stepped forward. “You didn’t hear everything, sweetie,” he said softly. “What your father said was that he never wanted kids, until he found out about you. He said—”
Becca turned her back on the men and faced her grandmother. “I want to go home,” she repeated, her eyes narrowed. “I don’t need a father. I can be a bastard again.”
Everyone gasped.
“Becca,” Jake breathed out.
Becca nuzzled her face against Phoebe’s neck.
“Just give her a little bit of time,” Phoebe said to Jake, gently rubbing Becca’s back.
“I don’t want time. I don’t want him.” Becca pointed a small finger toward Jake. “I want to go home, Grammy,” she said through muffled sobs. “Please take me home.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jake sat at the desk in his San Francisco office, staring at the email, his mouse hovering over the "send" button.
<
br /> He’d been back in California for a week, traveling directly here from Colorado shortly after Phoebe, Steven and Becca had returned.
He’d been unable to put up with Todd’s drama at his Sacramento office and decided to come home to San Francisco, where he belonged. Besides, Becca and her grandparents lived here, and even though she still wouldn’t see him, just knowing he was closer to his daughter soothed him.
He’d never known it was possible to hurt this much. Yes, the passing of his father had been nearly unbearable. But this, losing his daughter after he’d just found her, was excruciating. It was worse knowing she was so close and yet so far from him at the moment.
Christ he sounded like a Hallmark card.
There was also the fact that he’d basically alienated Lina as well. He’d tried to call her twice since being back but she hadn’t taken his calls. And why would she? He’d basically said he was just using her for sex. Or wait, had that been what she said? Either way, she’d made it abundantly clear she didn’t want a relationship. And that was for the best, considering he lived in California.
His brain was so muddled he didn’t know which way was up. As he read over his resignation email, part of him wondered if it was a good idea. Yes, Todd was being a total prick, and there was little that fulfilled him in his current job, but if he left, what would he do?
His eyes traveled to the envelope and large package underneath it. The letter was from the DNA lab, the results inside. He’d yet to open it even though it had been staring at him for days.
The other package was from Devlin, a project they’d been working on together while he’d been in Canyon Creek. He hadn’t opened that one either. He wasn’t ready for it.
It still crushed him to find out that Becca had misunderstood his conversation with Grant last week. Apparently she’d come to the office to bring him cookies from the café but had overheard just a few sentences of their very lengthy conversation. The few sentences that had crushed her, and him.
Becca had finally disclosed to Phoebe that she’d heard Jake say "he’d never wanted kids," which was technically true. Unfortunately she missed the part where he’d said, "until Becca." No matter how much Phoebe had tried to explain the truth, Becca had refused to listen, or to see him.
Phoebe had told him they needed to make Becca sit down and talk to him, that letting her push him away for days wasn’t a good idea, but he was afraid to push too hard. Phoebe said a parent had to set some limits with children, but what if he did and Becca never forgave him? The truth was, he didn’t know how much longer he could wait. Not seeing Becca, not holding her and tucking her in at night, was killing him.
He’d known he was a father for less than two months and yet he felt the connection with his daughter down to his soul. It hadn’t started from birth, but the love he’d felt for her had been instant and overwhelming.
The doorbell chimed, rousing him from his melancholy. He closed the lid to his laptop without hitting send, and walked to the entryway.
He looked through the peephole and found Todd’s wife, Hannah, on his doorstep. He quickly unlocked the door and swung it open. “Hannah. What are you doing here?”
Normally she stayed in Sacramento during the legislative session.
“I left him,” she said, matter-of-factly, as if rattling off the weather forecast.
“Todd?” he asked, as if it were a real question. It was the only possibility.
“Yes,” she muffled a laugh. “May I come in?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He swung the door open wide. “Please, come in.” He led her down a short hallway into his living room, which was small. The entire house was, now that he thought of it. He hadn’t needed much room, being a bachelor and working eight months of the year in another town.
“Your place is lovely, Jake,” she said, scanning the small room.
“Thanks.”
“I’ve never been here before.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, half a statement, half a question.
“Don’t apologize to me,” she laughed with little humor. “Todd was very good at compartmentalizing his life, as you know.”
He did. It was one of the things that had made Todd so successful, at first. Until some of those compartments were filled with affairs and lies.
“May I?” She waved to a chair in the corner.
“Of course.” He nodded. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“Oh, no thank you. I won’t take up much of your time, I know you’re busy.”
Won’t be after tonight, he thought…that was if he turned in his resignation.
“How’s your daughter?”
The question took him by surprise as he sank down onto the sofa. The news that he’d just discovered he had a child had spread through the office and among the staff of other congressmen and women in the California legislature. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, he’d just been surprised by their outpouring of congratulations and best wishes, something his own boss had yet to give him.
“She’s good.” He wished he could offer more but honestly, he had no idea how Becca was doing.
“So, why are you in San Francisco?” she asked.
“Probably same reason you are.”
“To escape Todd?” She smiled. Hannah had a nice smile, a warm smile. Jake had seen nothing but unconditional love and support for Todd from Hannah.
He returned her easy smile. “Something like that.”
Todd was an idiot for cheating on this woman. Not to mention she was smart as a whip and drop-dead gorgeous. Hell, maybe she should run for political office.
“He’s not the easiest person to live with or work for,” she said. “Especially in the last few years. I’m sorry about that.”
And that was Hannah’s way. Making excuses for her husband. She’d always been far better than Todd deserved.
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s me who should apologize.”
She cocked her head, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “For what? The affairs?”
Jake sat up straighter, nodding.
“Did you know?” She asked, a sudden hesitancy on her face.
“No.” Jake made the statement with a shake of his head. “I found out last week.”
She pressed her lips together. “Cassie contacted me a few days after you traveled to Colorado with your daughter.”
“She did?”
Hannah nodded, glancing down and picking at her fingers.
Jake moved closer. “I really am sorry, Hannah. I should have told you when I found out, but I was just trying to protect you, and—”
“Jake, it’s truly okay. I know you’re a good person. You were just trying to protect all of us. Even Cassie, I think.”
It was the truth, but he had no idea why he’d even thought for a minute about protecting Todd or his mistress.
“Todd is very,” she hesitated trying to think of the word.
“Charismatic?” Jake said.
“Conniving, I was thinking.”
“Yeah, that too.”
“Those two characteristics can make for a very dangerous man. I didn’t see that man when I first fell in love. Honestly, I don’t think he was that man back then. But somewhere along the way...”
“He lost his passion and become addicted to the game,” Jake said. “He no longer wanted to do what was right for people. It was like he wanted to see what he could get away with, how much he could wheel and deal and bargain for favors in the legislature.”
“Yes,” she almost shouted. “It’s like that girl from your hometown said on that video. You have to find your passion. Todd had found his but eventually traded it in for power.”
That statement was so true. Todd had traded passion for power. “You saw the video?” he asked.
“Jake it’s got almost a million views, plus we knew it was your home town. Of course we did.”
He sank back into his couch.
“You should watch it.”
“I
was actually there,” he said absently.
“Wow, I bet it was quite impressive in person. She seems very smart and extremely articulate.”
His mind washed with images of Lina, intimate and fiery, mussed as she talked to him after sex. “She is,” he said under his breath.
“Jake?”
He shook his head to rid the memories. “Um, yeah, sorry. What did you say?”
“Were you two involved?”
He narrowed his gaze. “Why would you ask?”
She laughed. “The way your face just went all dreamy when I talked about her. What’s her name?”
“Lina,” he said without hesitation. “Lina Bianchi.”
“She’s very beautiful, quite striking.”
She was even more beautiful in the afterglow of sex, he thought. No, he couldn’t go there.
“Anyway,” Hanna said, “I just wanted to stop by and tell you first. My father will be letting all the media outlets know tomorrow. He’s no longer feeding money into Todd’s campaign. We told him last night and Todd kind of went a little crazy.”
Jake wished he could say he was surprised but he wasn’t. Todd had been running on a short fuse for a long time.
“Look, Hannah, I really am sorry. If there’s anything I can do to help you get through this time please let me know. I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Are you quitting?”
“I think so.”
“Good for you. It’s time you took care of yourself instead of everyone else. You have a little girl to consider now.”
Did he? God, he hoped so.
“It will all work out, Jake,” she said, as if reading his thoughts. “Everything will. For both of us.”
It was remarkable how stoic and poised she was. Yet another testament to the goodness of Hannah Douglas.
Hannah stood. “I think you lost your way, you got lost in the glow of Todd Douglas. So did I. So did a lot of people.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I truly think he will implode, very soon, and I would hate to see you get caught in the crossfire. Do you know what I mean?”
He did. “Thanks Hannah, I appreciate the warning, and the understanding.” He stood.
“Of course,” she said, walking out of the living room toward the front entryway. She stopped at the door and turned to look at him. “Go find your passion, Jake.” Without another word, she kissed his cheek, opened the door, and stepped out into the night.
