by Lori Ryan
“Over mountains capped with snow, and caves down deep below, my love will always find you, no matter where you go.”
Becca remained quiet and turned the page.
There was no picture, instead the page was awash with varying hues of purple, one of Becca’s favorite colors.
“You’re my daughter and my truest love, on that you can depend. You’re my always and forever, my beginning and my end.”
He swallowed hard and turned to the last page. His eyes scanned the picture. Jake held Dog in his arms like he was a baby. Becca stood behind him, her hands on his shoulder. She stared into the camera, a devilish smile on her face, as if she knew she had her father wrapped around her finger. Which, of course, she did.
“Our days apart don’t matter,” he spoke the words written in the book, “because now you’re here with me.” He stopped and looked down at Becca.
She stared up at him, tears in her eyes, her chin wobbling.
“That’s exactly how I want it,” he said, his emotions catching up to him, “forever, you and me.” He quietly closed the book. “What do you want, baby girl?”
She tilted her head back and stared at him, her tear streaked face so torn up it broke his heart.
He tossed the book and grabbed her, clutching her tiny body to hers. “I want you Becca. I always have and I always will. And I’m never going to let you go, I don’t care what you heard me say to my dumb brother.”
She pulled back and looked at him. “Dumb’s not a nice word.”
He shrugged. “But he kind of is.”
She smiled and dimples appeared on her cheeks.
“What do you say?” he asked. “Me and you?”
“I thought it was you and I,” she said.
“As long as you’re with me and I’m with you, that’s all I care about.”
“Ooo.” Her little mouth made a perfect “o” shape. “We could write a book called ‘You’re with Me and I’m with You.’”
“We can do anything you want, Becca.”
Her eyes met his and she looked like her brain was racing.
“What, sweetheart?”
“Will I live with you now?”
“I would like that.”
“I don’t want to leave Grammy and Grandpa all alone.”
“I would never make you choose. We’ll all figure it out. Together. Whatever you want.”
“I miss your family,” she said quietly.
“You know they’re your family too, right?”
She nodded.
He sat her back so he could look at her, pushing her hair from her face. “I love you. I want you to be happy. I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen. Do you believe me?”
She picked at her dress but nodded.
Sensing she needed to say more, he lifted her chin. “What is it? Tell me. You can always talk to me.”
Her eyes were lighter now, filled with what looked like hope.
“Can I call you, Daddy?”
Every cell in his body burst, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as adrenaline surged through his veins. He wanted to jump from the bed and swing her around, shouting at the top of his lungs.
“Wait,” she said.
His heart fell flat again. Was she changing her mind already?
“May I call you Daddy?”
He chuckled, pulling her close, as he kissed the tip of her nose. “I would love for you to call me daddy.”
She tipped her head back, smiling up at him. “Do you want to watch Beauty and the Beast with me?”
And just like that, he was in her good graces again. He’d watch Disney movies every day for the rest of his life if it meant his daughter would smile at him like that.
“Of course I do, monkey toes. I was just telling my mom how much I wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast soooo bad.”
She giggled. “I miss, Grammy Val. And Aunt Sally. And Aunt Devlin and Uncle Max.”
“They miss you too, sweetheart. But we can go visit them any time you want.”
“I miss Lina, too. Do you?”
Of course he did. He swallowed down the emotions he felt at the mention of Lina’s name. “Yeah,” he finally answered. “Yeah, I do miss her. A lot.”
“What if,” her eyes darted around the room.
“What if what, honey?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.” She scooted off the bed, separating the veil to climb through. “Let’s go watch the movie. Grammy bought a new popcorn maker and she said I can have one root beer a day. I can share with you.”
Jake sat on her bed, watching his little girl pick up all her books and stack them neatly on a shelf, then rearrange all her animals as if tucking them in for the night. She pulled back the other side of the canopy and draped it over her railing then bent and unplugged the lights.
“Grammy let me set up my room like Lina’s. Do you like it?” She studied the room.
“I do, it’s very nice.”
“If I live with you can I keep it like this?”
“Of course. You could have a room here and a room at my place, whatever you want.”
“Kind of like Marcy Pendergrass at my school. Her parents are divorced. She said she was sad at first, but now she gets two of everything.”
Jake smiled. “Yeah, something like that.”
Becca skipped to the door and his heart filled again. No, he didn’t know what he was doing, but he’d figure it out. Thankfully he had a lot of support.
“Daddy, come on,” Becca called from the doorway, “I want a root beer.”
Daddy.
He couldn’t contain the emotion, his eyes burning with tears. Never in his life had he heard a sweeter word.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“Now or never,” Jake whispered to himself as he stood on the sidewalk outside of Once Upon a Book. He’d called Cam. It had taken a while but the other man had reluctantly told him where Lina was working for the day.
He and Becca had been back in town a few days but hadn’t ventured into town. Until today.
“Ow, Daddy.” Becca pulled at his hand. “You’re squeezing too tight.”
Jake released Becca’s hand. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“It’s okay.” She smiled up at him. “She’ll say yes.”
“Who?”
Her eyes narrowed, her nose wrinkled in that adorable way it always did when she thought he was a dumbass, which was most of the time.
“Lina, silly.” She nodded toward the front door.
“What will she say yes to?” He tried to swallow but his nerves were getting the best of him. He’d never been so flustered, or so excited, in all his life. He felt like a high school teen about to ask out the prettiest girl in town. Which was partly true, if you added on ten years.
“Ice cream. That’s why you’re here, to ask her out on a date, right?”
He nodded, unable to speak now.
“She will say yes because she loves ice cream. Did you know it’s called gelato in Italian? Lina’s nonna said she would make some one day. Strawberry. Maybe if we…”
Becca’s words trailed off as he glanced through the storefront window.
Lina floated around the store, pointing out books to an elderly couple and smiling, like she always did. Her dark hair tumbled down her back in soft waves. He noticed her tips weren’t blue any more. They were black, like the rest of her hair. He couldn’t help feel that she had changed a part of herself that he’d already grown to love.
Love?
Yeah, no.
Maybe.
As if hearing him, Lina’s gaze met his through the window.
“Hi, Lina!” Becca shouted, waving her hand. “Let’s go in, Daddy. I want to show her our book.”
With the strength of an NFL linebacker, Becca yanked him forward and through the front door before he could stop her.
“Slow down,” he tried to say, but the words got lost as he saw Lina standing just in front of them as he tumbled forward.
She wor
e a quilt-patterned gauzy skirt and long-sleeved white top that hugged all her curves, with gold hoop earrings dangling against her neck. She looked like a sophisticated, bohemian temptress. Jake’s pulse raced at the sight of her, as did other parts of him.
“Hey,” he said softly, smiling.
Her lips tipped up in a small smile. “Hey.” They held each other’s gaze for what felt like hours.
I missed you, he wanted to say.
I want you.
I need you.
We need you.
Before he could say anything, Becca’s squealing broke their spell.
“Lina! Lina! Look!” Becca bounced on her toes. “Me and Daddy made a book.”
“Daddy and I,” he corrected. Both women stared at him in disbelief. “I don’t know why I do that.”
Lina winked.
He felt drunk on her beauty, smashed by one look.
“Daddy, huh?” Lina squatted down next to Becca and looked from Becca up to Jake, another smile spreading across her flawless face. Her dark eyes sparkled with a teasing light he never knew he’d missed.
She showed him the softer side of life, the care-free part that he needed, especially now that he had a child.
“Yep,” Becca said. “Jakey is my daddy.” She looked up at him and he knew he’d never get tired of that. “Always.”
“And forever,” he said.
“My daddy wrote me a book, Lina. You should read it. It’s very good.”
Lina glanced over at him. “You did, did you?”
“I tried,” he said shyly.
“It’s very, very good,” Becca said with a scolding tone before turning back to Lina. “He wrote it for me. We both cried. But Daddy cried more.”
“It’s true.” Jake nodded.
Lina laughed. “Well now I really want to read this book.”
“Here’s our new one.” Becca shoved their book out to Lina. It was a packet of paper they’d written words on then colored. He’d hole-punched them, and together they’d tied purple yarn to bind the small book.
“I Love You, Toad Face,” Lina said, reading the title. “I like it already.”
Becca giggled. “It’s cuz that’s what me and Daddy call each other. Silly names.”
Lina grinned, glancing from Becca to Jake and then back to the book. “I Love You, Toad Face, by Jakey and Becca Howard-Sumner.” Her eyes found his, wide with curiosity.
“We’re changing our names, Lina,” Becca said. “Did you know you can do that?”
“You’re changing yours, too?” She directed this at Jake.
“Didn’t seem fair for her to change and not me. She didn’t want to hurt her grandparents or forget her mom. I didn’t want her to either, so we compromised.”
Lina’s hand went to her chest, her eyes becoming glassy.
Damn, he didn’t want her to cry.
“Read,” he said, nudging the book.
He saw her swallow and nod, turning the next page. “I love you, Toad Face.” She pointed to the picture of the two toads he and Becca had drawn before turning the page. “I love you, Monkey Toes.”
“Grammy Val made that picture with me,” Becca said proudly.
Lina turned each page, reading their silly terms of endearment and admiring their artwork until she reached the end. Her fingers skimmed over the last words.
“See, Lina. It says, 'If you love someone, show them this book and shout, ‘I love you, toad face!’” She carefully closed the book and handed it and Dog to Jake, clearing her throat like she was about to sing the Star-Spangled Banner at a baseball field. “I love you, toad face!” Her voice echoed through the small bookstore. Customers turned and stared, some bursting with laughter, others not so much.
Lina was one of the ones laughing. “I love you too, topolina.”
“You do?” She smiled.
Lina nodded. “Of course I do, silly.” She tweaked Becca’s nose.
“Me and Daddy are moving here, did you know that?”
She stared at Jake, eyes wide. “You are?”
God, was that hope he heard in her voice? He sure hoped so.
“Yeah,” he nodded, moving to stand.
“Daddy can I go to the kid’s section? Oops.” She slammed a hand to her forehead. “May I go.”
“You may, my daughter.”
“Thank you, my father.” She curtsied like she was a princess, which she pretty much was in his book. “I cashed in my swear jar money and Daddy says I can buy whatever I want.” She smiled wide at Lina then turned to Jake as though looking for confirmation.
“I did.”
“That sounds great,” Lina said.
“We want to buy you ice cream, Lina.” Becca nodded toward Jake. “Tell her, Daddy.”
“We would.”
Lina tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’m working right now. But…”
“Maybe later?” Becca asked, hopefully.
“Yeah,” Lina nodded, stroking Becca’s hair like an adoring mother.
Mother?
Becca wrapped her arms around Lina’s waist and squeezed before racing off to the kid’s section. He thought about telling her to slow down but gave up the fight. It was one of the many lessons he was learning as a father—pick your battles.
He watched Becca disappear behind the bookshelves, then turned to stare at Lina.
Her gaze was solidly on Becca. “She’s a great kid, Jake.”
“Yeah, she is. I wish I could take credit.”
Lina turned to look at him. “You’ve done a great job so far. You’re not Jakey anymore.”
“No.”
“How did that happen?”
“I wrote her a book.”
“Seriously.”
“Yeah. I told her everything. That I loved her, I would never let her go. I even made it rhyme. Or, I tried to.”
Lina smiled, the expression warming her eyes. “You wrote all the things a little girl wants to hear.”
He shrugged.
“So you guys are really moving back?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“What about the campaign in California?”
“I quit.”
Her eyes widened in surprise “Just like that?”
“Yep.”
“Wow. What did Todd say?”
“He wasn’t happy but I didn’t really care. My priority is Becca now. She wasn’t happy.”
“I heard his wife left him.”
“She’s smart that way.” He laughed. “Part of me hopes she runs for public office. Hannah is fierce.”
Lina laughed. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I took a consulting job with one of the sustainability organizations I was telling you about. I went to their fundraiser and made some connections. I’ll have to go to D.C. occasionally for work, but a lot of what I’ll do for them can be done from here.”
Lina reached out and squeezed his arm. “Jake, that’s awesome. Congratulations.”
He stared down where they were connected, the need pulsating through his body.
She quickly pulled away.
“What about Phoebe and Steven? Isn’t Becca going to miss them?”
“They’re moving here, too.”
“Wow, that’s fantastic.” She smiled, and he found he couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to.
“Yeah, Phoebe, Becca, and I are staying at Max and Devlin’s for a few weeks while we figure out housing. I don’t want Becca to be far away from her grandparents.”
“What about Steven?”
“Felicity is helping us. One of her residents is moving so she’s going to let us move him in temporarily until her Alzheimer’s personal care home is finished.”
“It seems like everything is falling into place for you.”
He stared at her, holding her gaze. “Not everything.”
Her eyes held his a moment until she glanced over his shoulder, breaking their moment. “What do you mean?”
He stepped closer, sliding
his hand down her arm until he caught hers. “You.”
She stared down at the joined hands.
“I know you said you don’t do complicated,” he said. “And I know a single dad moving to his hometown with a new job is about as complicated as it gets. But…” He let the word hold between them until her gaze met his. “I was just wondering, if maybe you’d consider going out with me sometime?”
Her brows wrinkled.
“On a date,” he added.
She stood silently watching him and something in his gut cramped. This wasn’t what she wanted. She’d told him that from the start, hadn’t she?
“I know Becca and I are a package deal, and my family is another story.” He rolled his eyes. “They can be a lot to handle.” He laughed nervously.
She pulled her hand away from him and stepped back.
Shit. Okay, so this was definitely not what she wanted.
“An environmental agency has asked me to work for them,” she said flatly. “They saw my video and flew me to Washington, D.C. to interview.”
He felt like someone had hit him in the stomach with a brick bat. He was too late. He’d known it the day he let her walk away from him. Of course she was destined for greatness. He swallowed down the disappointment and tried for a smile.
“That’s amazing, Lina. I’m happy for you.”
She smiled and tossed her hair behind her shoulder. Was that why she’d taken the color out?
“Yeah, it’s great,” she said. “Some other people contacted me too, offering internships.”
He was too late. Part of him thought about bringing Becca back and using her as bait. Lina seemed unable to say no to his daughter.
He glanced around the bookstore. Was it just him or had it gotten smaller, and hotter?
“I didn’t take it,” she said quietly.
His gaze snapped to hers. “What?”
She grabbed his hand and tugged him down one of the aisles until she stopped in a far corner of the bookstore, away from prying eyes. He recognized the spot. He’d practically mauled her here just a month ago. God, had he fallen for this extraordinary woman in less time than he’d known his daughter?
She turned to face him, her eyes bright, smile wide.
Yeah, he’d totally fallen for her.
“I said I didn’t take the position.”
