Safewords: Davenport and Chiffon

by Candace Blevins

  Brent laughed. “Jacob originally packed foundation designed to cover bruises, but then decided to provide a complete make-over.” He smiled at Jacob again. “Looks like it was a good call; why don't you move the chair so Zach can sit beside her and hold her hand. You and I can sit on the end of the bed."

  Zach protested, saying Jacob should be with her since they wouldn't be here long, but Brent insisted, and once everyone was situated Jacob looked sideways at Brent. “Did you talk to Zach about us driving down Friday instead of Dana coming to us?"

  "I did, but Zach cancelled his trip. We're still welcome to come if we wish, but I told him we'd play it by ear and see how Dana's feeling. If she tries to work this week then by the weekend she'll need rest, so it may be better to wait."

  Dana looked at Zach, her voice harsher than she intended. “When were you planning to tell me this?"

  "When I thought you were strong enough to have this argument?” He took a breath, shaking off his exasperation and using a calmer tone. “I made the phone calls this morning while you slept; the decision's made and can't be changed. I'm not leaving while you're hurt."

  "I'll be fine by this weekend. You shouldn't be making these kinds of business decisions on my account."

  "It's my career, my decision. I'm not flying to the other side of the planet a few days after you've been injured in a wreck."

  She looked at Brent and Jacob, hoping they'd back her up, but Brent only said, “I'd make the same choices if it were Jacob in a hospital bed. Let him take care of you."

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  Chapter Ten

  * * * *

  Zach pulled into the driveway around eleven the next morning. He helped Dana into the house and walked her to the den, handing her the TV remote and saying he'd be back with her laptop. He still hadn't kissed her or been cozy with her, only going so far as holding her hand when she'd told him she needed to be touched and held. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, she sat on the ottoman and looked up at him.

  "Sir, I can't kneel right now, so I hope this is good enough. I need a reminder of who we are, please. Can you help me feel I belong to you?"

  Her stomach fell to her feet as he stepped back, his face an icy wall. “No, I can't do this. I'm sorry, Dana. I thought I was ready, but now I understand why you needed time to yourself, to work through things. This was a mistake and I...” He turned from her, walking away as he finished. “I'll bring your laptop and then I need some time in the shop. I'll be downstairs; you can use the intercom if you need anything."

  Speechless, Dana watched him walk out, and schooled her face to neutral when he returned with her laptop. She gave him enough time to get downstairs before making her way slowly up the steps. A doctor had drained the fluid off her knee that morning and it was much better, but still tender.

  Refusing to cry or think, concentrating on what must be done, she packed a week's worth of clothes in one of her medium sized rolling suitcases. Her mind and body operating on autopilot, she retrieved what she'd need from the bathroom, and was ready to go in fifteen minutes.

  It wasn't until she was wheeling the suitcase through the bedroom door she remembered she didn't have a car. She pulled her tablet out and looked up the rental company who advertises they'll pick you up, and they said they'd be there in around thirty to forty minutes.

  It took her awhile to go down the steps with her luggage, swing by the den and retrieve her laptop, and then make it outside. She was quiet, but wasn't too worried about Zach hearing her move around, as the shop was back in a corner of the basement, designed so he could be noisy and not disturb the rest of the house. She didn't want the security buzzer to alert him when the car passed the gates, so she walked the suitcase through the woods and around the sensors to wait on the road by the driveway.

  A young guy drove up in a Toyota Avalon and got out to put her bag in the trunk. He made small talk with her back to the rental place, and handed her off to a gentleman who processed her paperwork efficiently, but she was exhausted by the time she pulled out of the lot. As much as she wanted to get a new cellphone, she drove straight to a nearby hotel with spa services, making a mental list of the things she'd need to do—like calling Ethan to arrange the move back to her condo. Thank goodness it hadn't sold yet.

  She was so tired she pulled into the valet line, and was thankful the registration clerk was idle, and efficient. The gentle movement of the elevator almost brought tears to her eyes, and the final twenty yards to her room felt like two miles.

  She began stripping as soon as she'd secured her door, leaving a trail of clothes on the floor as she crawled between the covers and crashed.

  Dana awoke at 8:30, her stomach as empty as her heart. Figuring she should concentrate on what was fixable, she found a room service menu and ordered a creole encrusted porterhouse with loaded mashed potatoes. Wrapping her head in a towel to keep the stitches dry, she took a quick shower and donned the hotel's complimentary robe before the food arrived.

  Her dinner was exquisite, good enough she turned the television off so she'd be sure to enjoy every bite. She'd eaten plenty of dinners alone before dating Zach; she'd just have to get used to it again—and no time like the present.

  Finished eating, she debated her options, realized she was still tired, and gingerly made her way back into bed. Her intention was to watch a little TV, but five minutes into the show she hit the off button on the remote as she felt herself drifting to sleep.

  Waking at 6:30 on the dot the next morning, she was amused, at first, that her internal clock had awakened her at the right time, but when she remembered where she was, and why, her heart broke all over again. She hadn't let herself think about it the day before, but now everything came crashing back—the finality of Zach seeing her as a burden, and his being revolted when she'd tried to submit. He'd obviously decided falling in love again was too big of a risk, but she couldn't be angry with him. She'd come close to making the same choice, hadn't she? They'd been crazy to think two people with their issues could make a relationship work.

  She'd allowed herself to fall for him, and now... well, now she was better off than she'd been before their first date, but she'd have to survive the hurt before she could appreciate it.

  Dragging herself out of bed, she decided she didn't need another shower. She gingerly dressed and then put what hair she had left in a French twist before wrapping one of the silk scarves she'd brought around her head. It took her four tries to produce a halfway decent look, but when it was finally acceptable she pulled out the foundation Jacob had given her and went to work on her face.

  After a luxurious breakfast in the hotel's restaurant, Dana drove towards her mobile provider's nearest location a little before nine. She hadn't checked email or voicemail, and without a cellphone, no one could reach her. She didn't call anyone from the hotel phone because she didn't wish to broadcast where she was staying. Also, she wasn't ready to talk, couldn't bear to admit Zack had rejected her, that he didn't want her anymore.

  New cellphone acquired, she called her sister from the parking lot and assured her she was fine, learning Zach had contacted her the day before, upset Dana was gone and trying to find her.

  "He just feels responsible, that's all. I almost backed out, too, when things first got serious. The idea I could lose someone else I was so close to—I considered bolting, so I can't be angry with him for freaking out. Hurt, but not mad. Look, I just wanted to let you know I'm okay. I'm staying at a hotel until I can get my things moved back to my condo. Crap, I need to get the realtor to take it off the market. I've got my cellphone now, so call me if you need me. Love you."

  Dana spoke to the realtor as she drove to the local natural grocery store, where she bought some healthy snacks before heading back to the hotel. She'd made an appointment that morning for a reflexology session followed by a pedicure and manicure, but returned earlier than she'd expected, so she went to her room before going to the spa area.

  She'd seen
the name of Ethan's moving company on the side of the truck, and she looked the number up and called, recognizing Ethan's deep voice as he answered. She introduced herself and explained what she needed, trying not to cry.

  "That's a shame, I'm sorry it didn't work out. We're pretty stacked, but I think I can juggle some people and get to you Tuesday or Wednesday. Let me do some checking and I'll call you back."

  She took a calming breath, thanked him, and pressed end.

  Realizing Zach had likely phoned Brent, she finally opened her voice mail app, looking through the list—seven from Zach, one from Brent, and two from Jacob. They all knew she'd been retrieving her voice mails online from the hospital, and probably thought she was ignoring them.

  She started to hit the button to call Brent, but chickened out and texted instead.

  I'm ok, staying at a hotel, not ready to talk about it yet. On my way to get mani- pedi, will call later. Tell Jacob I miss him and will talk to him soon.

  Her phone beeped within moments: Thanks for the text, we were concerned. If you need anything we're only a phone call away.

  Breathing a sigh of relief at his acceptance, she contacted the clients she'd intended to see Monday and arranged a late morning meeting for the following day. She'd survived worse than this; sometimes life was just about taking care of the details until you were capable of handling the big stuff.

  The reflexology session was wonderful, and she left feeling as if she'd had a full body massage, yet the woman had only gone a few inches higher than her ankles.

  Her nail tech was a chatterbox though, and she was forced to come out of her reverie and talk.

  "You did a nice job on your makeup, but I know what bruises under foundation look like. I might not have noticed it without the scarf, and your hand's all black and blue. He did a number on you, but good for you for leaving him."

  Dana shook her head. “No, I was in a wreck Monday, got out of the hospital yesterday morning. Sometimes stress pulls people together, but in this case it pushed us apart."

  She didn't look up as she smoothed the rough spots with the lava stone. “Guy dumps you when you're down, you didn't need him anyway."

  Frustrated at being compelled to talk about it, but feeling like she needed to defend him, she sighed and said, “His wife passed away a few years ago, and when the police officer showed up asking about me, he thought he'd lost me, too. He stayed by my side in the hospital, but once we got home he admitted he couldn't handle a relationship. He didn't ask me to leave, but I didn't want him taking care of me only because he felt obligated. Seemed the least painful to just go, instead of us looking at each other knowing it was over."

  "That's tough. Do you think he'll change his mind? Maybe you leaving will make him see how stupid he's being. Doesn't make a lot of sense to dump you to keep from losing you, does it?"

  She laughed, not realizing how bitter it would sound until it was out of her mouth. “Unfortunately, the heart's not exactly logical."

  When she called Brent a few hours later he answered on the first ring. “Dana dear, how are you doing?"

  "I'm okay. I pretty much slept all day yesterday, woke up long enough to eat, and crashed for the night. I've set a meeting with clients tomorrow morning; it's time for me to return to work."

  "Are you sure you're up to it? You've taken four days; one more will mean an extra three to get your strength back."

  "I've got enough stamina for a few productive hours. My knee's much better, that's the important part. My left hand and shoulder are bothering me worse than my knee, but I doubt I'll have to use them. I need to get onto a schedule; if I stay busy I don't have to think about... him."

  "Tell me why you left him?"

  Dana sighed. She'd known he'd want to talk about it, but had foolishly hoped he wouldn't ask. “I tried to submit to him and he backed away from me. He apologized, said it was a mistake, that he thought he had his shit together but was wrong. Said he understood why I needed space, because now he had to be alone to sort through things.” She felt tears forming and took a breath to steady herself, refusing to cry. “I considered settling into another bedroom until I could get moved out, but I couldn't stay, knowing he didn't want me anymore."

  Brent breathed out a sad sigh. “This is all a big fucked-up mess. He says he worked in his shop a few hours while he thought it through, realized he was willing to take whatever chances it meant with his heart in order to have you in his life, but you were gone when he went back upstairs."

  She wanted to lash out and hit someone, but held her temper and spoke calmly. “That's not what he said. If he'd told me he needed a couple of hours I'd have given them to him. Hell, even if he'd let me know he needed a few days. Maybe he changed his mind while he was thinking, but he can't erase the fact he said my being there was a mistake. And nothing can cancel out the look on his face when I tried to submit to him.” Her voice broke as she said, “He rejected me. He walked away from me when I...” She stopped to gain control of her emotions—Zach wasn't worthy of her tears, dammit.

  "I can only imagine the pain you must have felt at those words. You need to talk to him about it though. I've told you what he said, that's all I can do. You know I adore you. I'm putting Jacob on now."

  Jacob skipped hello and went straight to, “Tell me where you are and I can be there in a few hours. Brent busted ass to get the shoot wrapped up this afternoon, so I have nothing pressing on my schedule until a week from today. He says I can come to you, and he'll meet up with us over the weekend. He has to handle post production crap tomorrow, or we could both come tonight."

  Dana started to reflexively say no, but stopped herself. “I need to talk to Brent again before I can answer."

  She heard, “Yes, Ma'am", and then Brent's voice returned. “What can I do for you, dear?"

  "You and Zach have become friends. Will it put you in a tough place to know where I am and not tell him?"

  "Why are you hiding from him?"

  "I'm not ready to face him yet. I'll have to next week when my things are moved out, but I'm not strong enough to do it now without crying, and he doesn't get to see my tears."

  "What if I can get him to agree to meet you somewhere public? Jacob can come to you tonight, and you'll talk to Zach in the park by your condo at, say, five tomorrow evening? Jacob'll be there for moral support, though I think you should step away, so he's not part of your conversation with Zach."

  "I'm sorry you feel like you're in the middle."

  "Dear, if I were sure it was over between the two of you I'd gladly tell him I knew where you were and had no intention of informing him; but I believe you'll work this out. I want the four of us to continue to be close, but if I clearly side with you, it could drive a wedge between us. I'd like to play the role of mediator, if possible, and tell him I've arranged a meeting between the two of you for five o'clock tomorrow evening."

  She sighed, realizing Brent was right, and she needed to talk to him. “You can tell him I'm considering it."

  "Are you?"

  "Yes."

  "Thank you. Will you let Jacob come to you tonight?"

  "He knows there won't be any sex, right?"

  "Shall I send him in the jailbird?"

  "No, don't do that to him, please. I'm too banged up, physically and emotionally, to be interested, but I don't want him locked away from me, either. I know it's your choice, I know what he means to you, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your sharing him with me. Can I talk to him again, please?"

  He chuckled. “Sorry, his bags were packed and I've already sent him out the door. If you desire, you can let him have one orgasm tonight, on your command. He'll need a code word—tell him Rumpelstiltskin. Now, please tell me where you're staying, and I'll say goodbye so you can call his cellphone and let him know."

  Dana took a deep breath and told him.

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  Chapter Eleven

  * * * *

  She met Jacob in the lobby,
since the elevators required a key card. He gave her a brief hug downstairs, but waited until they were in the privacy of her room before pulling her into his embrace, letting her feel the warm strength of his body wrapping around her.

  "I can tell you're still favoring your left arm. I brought Brent's magical bruise cream, if you'll allow me to massage it in?"

  "Sure. I ordered room service; it should be here in about ten minutes."

  Conversation was never a problem with Jacob, and dinner was over before she knew it. He put everything on the tray and set it on the table near the door, and as he walked back she knew she wouldn't like whatever he was about to say.

  He dropped to his knees in an impeccable submissive posture and his gaze met hers—determined, but she could see anxiety under the surface. “You have an email from Zach, subject line Please read this. I know what it says, Ma'am, and I feel you should read it tonight so you can sleep on it before you talk to him tomorrow.” He took a breath. “Please, Dana. I can't stand seeing you so miserable, and I believe it's important you know what it says."

  She sat on the bed, defeated. “If anyone but you asked, I'm sure I'd tell them no. Hand me my tablet, please."

  He walked to her bag and pulled it out, gracefully dropping to his knees before her again as he handed it to her. She accepted the tablet and slid her right foot up his knee, over his thigh, and towards his crotch, using her big toe to find his cock.

  "You're soft."

  "Yes, Ma'am. It was my understanding you weren't interested in my being hard. If you wish for it, you only have to say the word."

  She laid the tablet beside her, smiling. “Brent told me I could give you permission for an orgasm, as long as it's on my command."

  He hesitated a brief moment, his eyes cautious. “He didn't tell me, Ma'am."

  "You're so good. He said to tell you Rumpelstiltskin."

  His face lit up in a smile, but immediately looked pained. “I'm not supposed to get an erection tonight unless you tell me to. I'm afraid... please; do I have your permission?"