False Facades (Best Sellers: Best Romance/Humor )

by Martha Greenwood

  Tristan closed the door, brows furrowed. "Should I be worried?" he muttered.

  * * *

  "Does he suspect anything?" Sammy bit her lip as she accepted a glass of water from Carrie.

  "Tristan? Nah, but he thinks you're really nice," Carrie smiled broadly.

  Sammy laughed, "Well, I should hope so." Sammy took a sip of water.

  "So what do you think of my brother?"

  Sammy choked, water dribbling all over her chin, and she flushed as she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Why is everybody asking me this? "He's nice," she commented noncommittally.

  "Do you think he's cute?"

  She frowned, "Have you and Danielle been planning this?"

  "Huh?" Carrie said, confused.

  "Never mind," Sammy muttered.

  "I just think you and Tristan are so perfect together. You're so nice and –"

  "I think you're overlooking one fact," Sammy interrupted. "I'm a boy right now."

  "But you're really a girl." Carrie reclined back on her bed.

  "Yeah, but Tristan doesn't know that." She set the glass on Carrie's desk.

  "You could always tell him."

  "Sure, that'll make a great topic for locker room talk. 'Hey, Tristan. Can you pass me that towel? By the way, did I happen to mention I'm really a girl in disguise? Ta da!'" Sammy sighed. "It just won't work. Besides, I don't want to focus on anything but my studies right now until I graduate. The less people know, the better."

  "But do you like him?"

  "Carrie," she said warningly.

  Carrie raised her hands. "Fine, fine. I'll go get some chips from the kitchen. Just think about it, okay? My brother is really very, um, eligible."

  Sammy sighed. Funny, how come it seems like my troubles are only increasing as more people find out my secret? She got up to stretch - and nearly fell over something.

  She stared down in surprise to find a pair of big blue eyes gazing up at her. She melted. An adorable toddler about three years with rosy, chubby cheeks and a mop of golden curls stood before her. "Hi there. Who are you?"

  "She's my baby cousin. This is her twin brother. Amanda and Andrew." Sammy looked up to see Tristan in the doorway with another blonde haired cherub climbing over the tall boy. "My uncle and aunt work with my father. They usually leave them here." He shook his head in disgust. "They're workaholics, just like my father. These two hardly get a chance to see their parents." He scoffed. "I bet they don't even recognize who're their mother and father by now."

  "Aw. Who would want to leave you guys alone?" She cooed as she lifted Amanda up. The baby giggled and stopped sucking on her thumb.

  Andrew immediately started a clamor. "Up! Up! Twist, up!" Tristan sighed and scooped the boy up.

  "Twist?" Sammy chuckled.

  Tristan gave her a sheepish smile. "They have a hard time pronouncing my name. Andy, stop yanking my hair. Mandy, you stop pulling Sam's hair too."

  Sammy giggled, "They're adorable."

  Tristan rolled his eyes. "They're little hellions."

  Amanda lifted her face up and stared earnestly at Sammy. "You're pwetty."

  Sammy smiled nervously. "Uh, thank you . . ."

  As if she'd received permission, Amanda instantly burrowed her head against Sammy's neck and proclaimed, "Mama."

  Chapter Thirteen

  Amanda grinned toothlessly up at Sammy. "Mama! Mommy!" She repeated gleefully.

  Sammy laughed, high-pitched and nervous. "Aw, don't kids say the darnest things? No, Mandy, I'm not your mommy."

  Amanda frowned and shook her little head, sending the blue bow on her head careening haphazardly over her left eye. "Mommy!"

  "No." Sammy tried to smile. "Sammy. SAM – MY. Sammy."

  "Mommy. MOM - MY!"

  Sammy didn't know what to do. She looked up in desperation and caught the eye of Tristan. He smiled, amused, while shifting Andrew in his arms. "You know, you would make a nice mother. You're already so in touch with your feminine side already."

  Sammy paled.

  "I mean, you won't change in the locker rooms with us. You drown your sorrows in a bucket of ice cream. You can barely dribble a ball, but you jump rope better than my little sister. You can't make a proper punch. Hell, you can't even give a proper glare." Tristan's blue eyes darkened as they narrowed in on her. "You know, it's pretty obvious."

  "What is?" Her whisper was hoarse.

  "That you're really a girl in disguise."

  Sammy's heart stopped beating.

  "Just kidding." Tristan chortled with laughter and the babies giggled in delight. "Man, you should have seen your face. I'm so sorry. Just couldn't help it. Don't get mad."

  Sammy started breathing again and she shrugged nonchalantly. "Ha . . . that was funny . . . ha." She nodded distantly. "Of course I'm not offended. I mean, being compared to a woman, that's great! Everyone knows how intelligent, understanding, well-mannered and mature women are."

  Tristan stared at her strangely. "Right . . . you weren't being sarcastic by any chance, were you?"

  "Why would I?"

  "Ah, no reason." Tristan swung Andrew up into the air and walked over to take a seat across from Sammy.

  Sammy sat down and placed Amanda on her lap. "So where is your father?"

  Tristan shrugged, "Away on business. He'll be back for Christmas, I think."

  "Oh."

  "What about you? I mean, do you have other relatives you need to call or –

  "No," she stated flatly. "I don't know much about my mother's side; they're in Ireland. As for my father's side, my grandmother died before I was born and my grandfather just passed away a year before the accident. He was a stern man and used to frighten me when I was a kid, but I soon came to realize his gruffness was only bluster. He always had tons of gifts for me and my brother."

  "And your sister."

  "Uh, yeah, and my sister," she amended, flustered.

  "Your father was an only child?"

  Her eyes dropped, fingers combing through Amanda's hair. "A brother. He had a brother."

  Tristan opened his mouth to say something, but she jumped up before he could. She twirled Amanda around before setting the giggling child on the couch. "I have to get back. Vince will throw a fit if I'm here for too long. Tell Carrie I'll see her later."

  Tristan nodded. "Yeah, okay. And you can tell Vincent to go to hell for me." His smile was wide and pleasant.

  She rolled her eyes. "Right, you know I can't do that. Wouldn't want the messenger to be killed, would you?"

  The boy laughed softly and as Sammy left the room, responded lazily, "Like he would ever lay a finger on you, Sammy."

  * * *

  Sterns opened the door for Sammy and she could see that the normally immaculate butler was in an alarming state of disarray. The man's white hair was sticking up all over the place like he had been running his hand through it for the past hour and his glasses kept slipping down his nose. "Mister Westlane, welcome back. How was your visit? Let me take your coat. Good. Good. Oh dear, I forgot to tell the cook to prepare the duck. Oh, oh, so many things to do. So little time. Ah, please excuse me." And with that, the man sprinted away across the hall, muttering furiously underneath his breath about duck and dust. He reeled backward as he spotted a maid who was shining the silverware and he started jabbing at a spot she missed. He looked ready to faint.

  Sammy raised her eyebrow. Has Armageddon come?

  The rest of the household was in an even more frenzied condition. Danielle came clicking away on her high heels. Her long black hair swished behind her back and her bracelets jangled together. She panted as she nearly slipped in her hurry. She called out loudly, "Someone get fresh flowers from the conservatory! The witch will throw the vase across the room if she even suspects the roses are a day old!"

  Vincent came crashing around the corner as he bellowed, "PILLOWS! I NEED PILLOWS! The throw cushions for the sofa in the second floor living room in the west wing are missing! She'll gnash her teeth out!"r />
  Will and Jack hurried behind him. They looked gloomy as they dodged all the running maids and servants. Will caught sight of Sammy and nearly got ran over fifty times as he ran toward her. He wheezed, "We must hurry. The witch is coming home. 'An early surprise' she says. Surprise, my ass." He grabbed her hand and they started running after Vincent.

  "What? What are you talking about? Who's 'the witch'?" Sammy gasped.

  Danielle came rushing past. "My mother," she gritted out. Then she screamed, "Oh my god! There's a stain! Mary, get it out or get something to cover it!"

  "Danielle's mother?" Sammy whispered. "That means . . . Vincent's mother is –"

  "- paying us a delightful Christmas visit," Vincent suddenly appeared besides her, clutching several fuchsia pillows. He muttered angrily, "Never pays any attention to us but she always expects everything to be perfection whenever she decides to pop in. Mother dearest." He laughed bitterly as he tossed the pillows at a nearby servant. "Get them up to the west wing living room!"

  "When is she going to be here?" Sammy asked faintly.

  "In two hours, just in time for dinner. Oh and Sam, she 'prefers' everything to be semi-formal at meals. That means you better be wearing a shirt and tie or she'll beat the living hell out of you with the breadsticks. I already sent a suit up to your room. You should go get ready now." Vincent started to walk off to inspect the dusting when Sammy pulled on his sleeve. He stared in surprise. "Is something wrong?"

  She hesitated.

  He cocked his head, puzzled.

  "I don't know how to put on a tie," Sam finally said, voice faint.

  Vincent resisted the urge to smile, nodding briskly instead. "I'll come up later to help you, but it'll be a while. Go take a shower first."

  * * *

  Sammy was panicking. In the shower, she scrubbed herself hard enough until she was pink all over. Oh my god. I'm meeting the parents tonight. Well, the mother, anyway. And she seems to be one scary lady. What should I do? I haven't been brought up to eat a formal dinner. What if I mess up? What if I use the wrong fork? I wonder if she'll like me. I wonder if she'll make small talk first. I wonder what she'll think of me. Oh wait. I know. The shrimpy carrot top kid who's tagging behind her son - the shrimpy carrot top MALE kid. Sammy felt like wailing and pounding her head against the wall.

  * * *

  He frowned to himself as he walked through the hallways. I wonder what the old witch's going to think of Sam. She can be so cruel sometimes - she'll probably crush his feelings into powder.

  He smiled to himself then. But as long as I'm here, I think he'll be just fine . . . He turned the corner and came to Sam's room. The boy didn't answer the knock. Opening the door, he raised an eyebrow at the empty room and started to leave. Then he heard the sound of the shower running and he smiled. God, he takes long in the shower.

  A wicked grin came across his face though as he paused. Maybe I should try to lighten up his mood . . .

  * * *

  She wrapped a towel tightly around her body and stepped out of the shower. As she toweled off, she realized that she'd left her change of clothes outside. Figuring she might as well get into her suit now, she wrapped her towel around her and padded over to the door. Just as she was about to open the door, Sammy thought she heard something outside and stopped short. I'm . . . pretty sure I locked the door . . . right? Yeah. I think so. Didn't I? Frowning to herself, she called out anyway to check. "Is someone out there?"

  There was no answer.

  Breathing in relief, she turned the doorknob and –

  "BOO!" Someone jumped out in front of her.

  She jumped and almost lost her grip on her towel. Water dripped down, trailing along her neck and down onto her shoulders. She stared in shock as she slowly felt her trademark blush spread across her cheeks.

  He stared back, equally incredulous, dropping his outspread arms to his sides. His mouth gaped open, closing repeatedly like a goldfish.

  They both screamed at the same time. "AHHHHHH!"

  * * *

  "What – what are you doing here? I thought I locked the door!" Sammy shrieked.

  "Obviously not!" Will yelped back, his eyes widened in shock. "I – I was just going to surprise you! I – I didn't realize that I was gonna get one myself!" He jabbed his finger at her. "You – you – you're a girl!"

  "I realized!" she shouted. His eyes dropped to her chest and she clung harder to her towel.

  "You – you have breasts! Breasts! Two of them!" He threw up two fingers in her face like some deranged victory sign.

  She stared at him for a minute. "Yeah, it was buy one, get one free – HONESTLY, WILL, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?"

  "Not boobs, apparently!" he yelped. Then he quieted and a suspicious glint came into the boy's eyes. "Hey, what am I in a panic for? This is like a dream come true! You're everything I've ever wanted wrapped in one package! Boy and girl!"

  She narrowed her eyes. "I'm not a hermaphrodite if that's what you're suggesting."

  He laughed and she scowled. Pointing to the door, she whispered furiously, "Get out, Will! I have to change!"

  "I don't mind."

  She shot him a dirty look and he sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll talk to you later. I'll be wanting a thorough explanation . . . or a lap dance. Either one will satisfy me." But as he started toward the door, someone knocked on it.

  "Sam? It's me. I'm coming in."

  Vincent! She tried not to hyperventilate as she grabbed her clothes off her bed, seized Will by the collar and all but tossed him inside the bathroom. She followed quickly and slammed the door just as Vincent walked in. He frowned, "Sam?"

  "Just a minute!" She called out. She murmured furiously to Will, "Turn around while I change! No peeking or – or I'll hurl this shampoo bottle at you."

  He mumbled as he turned around, "You're getting violent. I think I like it."

  She jabbed him with her elbow as she wrapped a piece of cloth around her chest, pulled on her shirt and struggled into her pants. She banged her knee against the countertop and hopped around in pain.

  Will started to turn around, but she stopped him through clenched teeth. "Not yet!" She finally stood up and stared at herself in the mirror without really seeing anything, wanting to smash her head through the wall. Now what?

  "Sam? Are you all right in there?" Vincent asked, just outside the door.

  She nodded glumly, but realized of course, he couldn't see her.

  "Sam?" He called again. She opened her mouth, but Will beat her to it.

  "She's okay!"

  Oh lord.

  There was a pause and then Vincent repeated, puzzled, "She?"

  Sammy nudged Will to stop talking, but it appeared he did not quite understand her - or was enjoying himself too much to stop. "Oops! I meant 'He'." He winked at her conspiratorially and she slumped against the wall in defeat. She covered her face and waited . . .

  There was another pause - and then Vincent roared, "WILL? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE WITH SAM?"

  Will appeared to have finally realized his mistake. "Uh-oh."

  "GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!"

  Sammy thought about climbing out the window before realizing that there was a long way down to the ground and there was no way she could make it down the icy walls without slipping. Perhaps I should throw Will out first to use as a cushion?

  "I'M GIVING YOU FIVE SECONDS OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO TEAR THE DOOR OFF ITS HINGES!"

  No escape.

  * * *

  Just as Vincent was getting ready to do his Hulk impersonation and blast through the wooden door, it opened slowly. Will poked his head out and offered a meek smile. Through the small crack, Vincent's eyes found Sam. The boy was flushed and his clothes were all disheveled. His red locks were still damp and clinging to the nape of his neck. Vincent's eyes narrowed. Will gave a small wave. "Hiii–EEP!"

  The door slammed close as Vincent lunged for it. He grabbed the doorknob and barked, "Open this door this instant!"
<
br />   "Oh, yeah right!" Will clung desperately on the other side.

  Sammy's voice was anxious. "Vince, just calm down! What are you getting so worked up over for?"

  Vincent's blood boiled. "WHO SAID I WAS GETTING WORKED UP?" He slammed his fists on the wooden frame to emphasize his point.

  "Then you promise not to kill me?" Will asked brightly.

  " . . . Sure."

  As soon as the boy opened the door, Vincent grabbed the front of his shirt, lifted him a few feet up into the air, and slammed him into the wall.

  "You promised!" Will choked out.

  "No, I promised not to kill you. I didn't say anything about breaking your legs," Vincent hissed.

  Will's face crumpled. "Why do you have to be so mean? My legs are one of the sexiest parts of my -"

  "Just let him go! It's all a big misunderstanding!" Sammy cried out. She grabbed Vincent's arm and he rolled his eyes, releasing his grip. Will slumped to the floor.

  He turned around and folded his arms. "Well, why was he in the shower with you then?" he demanded.

  Sammy's eyes widened, "What? NO! He was NOT in the shower with me! What – why – how could – what are you thinking!"

  Vincent felt foolish, but continued to babble on, "Then why was he in there? Did he sneak in on you?" Without batting an eye, he grabbed hold of Will as the other boy tried to slide away.

  "No!"

  "So why were you two together then?"

  "Uh – ah – well – you see –"

  "Sammy slipped!"

  "Huh?" They both turned to face Will who was nodding cheerfully.

  "Sammy slipped and I went in to help her - him get up! That's all!"

  Vincent didn't speak for a minute before he whacked Will on the head. He growled, "I'm not that stupid, stupid! You expect me to believe something that stupid?"

  "You just like saying stupid, don't you?" Will rubbed his head, making a face at him.

  "Shut up! Don't try to change the subject!"

  Sammy slumped. "It's okay, Will. It's about time I tell him the truth anyway." She took a deep breath and lifted her head to stare at Vincent's chin. "Vincent, I'm sorry, but I haven't been completely honest with you. The fact is –"