False Facades (Best Sellers: Best Romance/Humor )

by Martha Greenwood

  Vincent widened his eyes. "Who, me? What did I do?"

  She knew hanging around Will had to have rubbed off on him some way. She gave him the "I'm not buying that crap" look before surveying their surroundings to make sure no one had noticed their abnormal non-manly behavior. "You just can't do that in public unless you want to be like Will!"

  Vincent pursed his lips. Then he grabbed her hand and proceeded to drag her off. "Fine, let's head back to our room then."

  "Oh, for crying out – Vincent!" Her cheeks were flaming red now.

  He laughed and spun around to pull her sharply into his arms. She stared up at him, disgruntled. "Don't blame me when someone sees us and thinks you're gay."

  He smiled impishly, merely tightening his arms around her waist. She coughed uncomfortably as she avoided his eyes. Her cheeks felt like they were going to melt off her bones soon. Vincent scrutinized her for a couple of minutes, watching her pink flush blossom into burning crimson, before clearing his throat gruffly. "You, uh, do like me, right? I mean … you do return my feelings, don't you?" A tinge of pink swept across his own face as he realized how he sounded so sickeningly sappy. Then he realized that he didn't particularly care. Eh, what the hell. Might as well continue to be a fool. "That kiss wasn't just a fluke, right?"

  Sammy stared at him in utter astonishment. How in the world can a kiss be a fluke? Then she remembered how they had just "happened" upon their first, ahem, encounter and she smiled embarrassedly. "Of course I –" Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, licking her dry lips. "Ahem." She tried again. "Of course I return your . . . feelings. You - you like me, too?" She cursed herself for that hopeful lilt at the end of the question.

  Vincent responded with an eager nod, which he immediately dialed it down after he realized his close resemblance to a bobbing head toy. "So . . . we're together then."

  She smiled, can't quite meeting his eyes. "Guess so."

  "Cool."

  "Yup."

  Boy, was this an awkward moment. I suppose in romantic movies and novels, the couple should be falling all over each other in passionate disarray. Her cheeks almost throbbed at the intensity of her blush. Too bad we're more like a romantic comedy . . . or a romantic mishap . . . oh forget it, we're probably just a comedic mishap.

  "MUAHAHAHA!"

  They nearly crashed into each other as they jumped in startled surprise.

  "Will! I told you not to do that!" Vincent snapped.

  Will leapt out of the bushes with his hands akimbo in triumph. He waved a finger at them frantically as he crowed, "You two are finally together thanks to my brilliant plan! I am a genius, I say! A genius!"

  "Right. So you say," the black haired boy retorted dryly.

  Will heaved a sigh. "Jealousy does not become you, my dear Vinnie poo."

  "A bloated ego doesn't do much wonders for your swollen head, either."

  Will grinned impudently as he slung an arm around Sammy's shoulders. "So, sweets, how's this booger been treating you?"

  "I'm not a booger and I've been treating her just great. However, if you don't kindly remove your arm right now, I just might decide to do it for you - and detach it for a souvenir."

  Will moved away but not before drawing Sammy's arms up around his neck. He stuck his tongue out at Vincent. "Well, huh, huh? Whatcha gonna do about this, huh? I'm not touching her. She is! See? See? Ha! You can't do anything about this now, huh?"

  Vincent smiled brightly. "Oh, wow, you're so smart, Will! Well, seeing as how Sammy seems to be so fond of your head, I guess I'll just have to rip it off then as a present."

  "You wouldn't!"

  "Try me."

  "Sammy won't let you hurt me!"

  "Not if you keep on acting like a second grader!"

  "I'm just cute! You're the one with violent tendencies!"

  "I'll show you violent!"

  "You need anger management classes! Sammy is much too gentle for the likes of you! You're a – a bear!"

  "A bear?"

  "Yeah, and not the stuffed teddy ones, either!"

  "I think I realized, Will."

  "Just making sure since you can be pretty dense sometimes."

  "Oh, you really want to die today, don't you?"

  "What did I say? What? Nothing! Nothing! I said nothing!" The sound of rapid footsteps hitting gravel marked Will's hasty exit.

  "Sammy, I'll be right back. I'll detach his limbs for you." Vincent took off after the boy.

  Sammy muttered underneath her breath, following them at a more sedate pace, "You know, I would just prefer flowers, chocolates, even a teddy bear for a gift but whatever floats your boat, I guess . . ."

  * * *

  Frank Westlane huffed and puffed as he staggered through the forest. He paused to lean against the wrinkled bark of a nearby oak tree and pulled out a handkerchief, dabbing gently at his perspiring forehead. Why the hell does this stupid school have to be built in the middle of a forest? He narrowed his eyes. He couldn't very well pull up in his car to the front door since that'll give Samantha the chance to run away again so he had decided to park by the main road. Too bad that he soon learned he was going to have to trek through the woods in order to get to the building without alerting anyone.

  His impromptu exercise had caused him to sweat through his silk shirt and jacket. He grimaced as he tried to air himself out by peeling his shirt off his back. Ugh. When I get my hands on you, Samantha . . .

  He continued to walk until he finally saw an opening in front of him. A triumphant smirk spread over his lips as he quickly darted behind a tree to peer out at the school. To his delight, it was only a couple of steps from the back entrance. The glass doors offered an ample view of students passing by through the hallways. It'll be perfect to just grab Samantha while she's out for some fresh air and drag her off.

  He nearly laughed out loud in his delight. He could almost picture the moment in his head and he almost salivated at the thought. Then his smile faltered. Alright. Now that I'm here, what do I do?

  His mood darkened. Am I just going to have to wait here until Samantha comes out? Oh lord. A sudden chilly wind swept up around him and his body went numb at the thought. With my luck so far, I'll freeze to death before I can even see her.

  His thick brows knitted together before he finally sighed in resignation. I guess there's no helping it. He pressed close against the tree and prepared himself for the long wait ahead. Above his head, the dark clouds rumbled and he glanced up with a low curse.

  * * *

  Sammy was trying to concentrate on her physics homework when an uneasy feeling throbbed in the pit of her stomach. She looked up and blinked in confusion as she stared out the window of her room. The tops of the trees rustled lightly with the rain, a smooth melody that should sound serene and settling, but for some reason, it only made her more anxious. Her foot started jittering in an uneasy momentum as she chewed on her bottom lip.

  Vincent looked up from his own work, distracted by his girlfriend's inattentiveness. He grinned when he saw her preoccupation with the scenery outside of the window, but his good humor quickly faded as he noted the tension wrought in her body. He leaned his face lazily against the palm of his hand as he studied Sammy's profile. Narrowing his eyes, he scooted closer to the girl. She appeared to be totally out of it, oblivious to the boy.

  He frowned. Vincent leaned closer and reached up, lightly tracing a finger along her brow. She spun around in surprise and would have fell out of her chair had he not grabbed hold of her. "What – what are you doing, Vince?"

  "Trying to iron out the wrinkles in your forehead. What were you doing?" Vincent touched Sammy's lip, which was already swollen red from her worrying of it. "I know physics usually send me off to daydream land as well . . . but typically, I choose dreams that wouldn't give me premature white hair. What had you frowning and pouting?"

  Sammy sighed. "I wasn't frowning."

  "Alright," he agreed noncommittally. "So why were you pouting?"


  She laughed. "I wasn't pouting either."

  "Fine. What were you doing then?"

  "Nothing much."

  He arched an eyebrow. She sighed and shifted back against her seat. He moved his legs and scooted his chair even closer until it was lined up against hers. Twisting his upper body around again, he proceeded to stare at her with every ounce of intensity he could muster up.

  She picked up her pencil and tried to ignore him. "Vincent, go back to your homework. I said it was nothing."

  "I don't believe you. Something's bugging you."

  She didn't answer, just ducked her head and continued scribbling nonsensical numbers and equations – your basic physics homework.

  He glared at her.

  She reached for the calculator.

  "Sammy."

  She punched in some random numbers.

  "Sammy . . ."

  She picked up her pencil again.

  Vincent dropped his chin onto her shoulder and bumped his forehead against her neck. "Sammy . . ."

  She glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes and he beamed up at her, trying to convey Will's spirit. A reluctant smile pulled at Sammy's lips as she tried to shrug him off. His chin remained persistent in using her shoulder as a resting stand. She heaved a sigh and he rubbed his nose against her neck defiantly.

  Squirming, she laughed, "You're tickling me. Stop being such a baby."

  He sat back into his chair and retorted, "Fine. Then you be the baby." He jerked forward, looped his arms around her waist, and heaved her out of her chair into his lap.

  "Oh, for – Vincent!" She tried to pull away, but his grip tightened.

  He looked at her solemnly and patted her back. "Baby comfy?"

  She burst out laughing and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her face into the nape. "I don't know what to do with you," she said, voice muffled.

  "Ah, I tend to invoke that feeling in most people." He cradled her close.

  "You know, if you dress in red and grow a white beard, you'll make a pretty good Santa Claus."

  "What? Are you saying I'm fat?"

  There was a moment of silence. "No."

  He poked her in her side and she jerked involuntarily. "What was that pause for?"

  "Well, you have been packing a lot of cookies and chips lately –" He poked her again and she chortled. "Alright! Alright! You're not fat! You're in perfect, tip top shape and should go for modeling."

  "Thank you," he grinned cheekily and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

  She rolled her eyes. "You're becoming more and more like Will each day."

  He shivered. "Alright, I'm fat. I'm horribly obese. I'll go to gym more and practice punches with Tristan again."

  She pulled back sharply, "Speaking of Tristan, what happened this morning? He said he went to get something from his room and we haven't seen him since. Are you two fighting again?"

  He kept his hands locked around her waist and tried to rein her back in. "No. Not exactly."

  She narrowed her eyes and roughly grabbing the collar of his shirt, yanked him toward her. "What did you do?!"

  He blinked at her. "Why does it always have to be me?"

  "Because of your violent tendencies."

  "I have no violent tendencies!"

  She stared skeptically at him. "I've been your roommate for quite a while now."

  "Yes, and isn't it so very nice how we're just so comfortable around each other? See? We're already hugging and sharing a chair!" He grinned roguishly. "Now if you'll just hold still for a minute, perhaps we can graduate to another level . . ." He leaned close, but she pulled out of range.

  "Tristan, remember? Did you punch him or something?"

  "I'm really not violent!"

  She raised an eyebrow at him again.

  "Okay, well, not that violent at least. Really. We're fine. It's just that . . . well, you can't expect us to automatically pick up where we left off a couple years ago. It just doesn't work that. We're practically strangers now."

  She furrowed her eyebrows and sighed. "Yeah. I guess that's true."

  He smiled and pecked her on the tip of her nose. She wrinkled it at him before breaking out into a huge smile. He eyed her warily. "What?"

  "You know, for someone with such violent tendencies, you're awfully touchy and cute."

  "For the last time, I don't have violent tendencies!" Then he paused. "You think I'm cute?"

  * * *

  "Ohmigod, they're, like, so cute! You could totally tell that he's so into her and she's all, like, a blushing bride and such. Absolute adorableness!"

  There was no answer for quite a while. "Will, why are you talking like a valley girl?"

  Will was on his stomach in bed and talking on his cell phone, his feet swinging in the air and his finger curling around a strand of his hair. "Oh, I've always wanted to act like one of those gossipy school girls. It makes me feel like I'm popular."

  Danielle sighed loudly on the other side of the extension. "What I have to put up with to hear all the juicy details of my brother's love life." Disgruntlement colored her tone. "Perhaps Vinnie was right. I am getting to be an old maid. Man, I've really got to get a new boyfriend soon."

  Will perked up but just as he opened his mouth, Danielle snapped, "And no, my preferences do not include any brown haired bisexuals who are younger than me."

  The boy sighed. "You'll regret it later and when you coming begging for my sweet bod, don't say I didn't tell you so."

  "I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Danielle murmured dryly. "So spill."

  "Yees, Vinnie poo finally knows Sammy is a double X chromosome and yees, zhey're finally togezher. It's simplee vonderful! I'll be sure to prepare ze wedding!"

  "Oh goody! Finally! Yay! I win! Can't wait to tell Carrie." Her voice darkened. "And by the way, what the heck is that awful accent?"

  "Ah, I simply do not know, but I like it very much," Will replied cheerfully.

  "You're ridiculous," Danielle muttered before changing the subject. "So everything's okay right now for Sammy, right? No sign of You-Know-Who?"

  "What, Voldemort?"

  "Are you Harry Potter? Idiot, I'm talking about a certain disgusting uncle."

  "Ohh. No. Everything looks clear." His voice darkened. "Too bad. I was looking so forward to ripping that icky moustache off his face and making him eat it."

  "Have you been hanging around Vincent too much?"

  * * *

  "Hey, sweetie, how's school?" Jack murmured into his own phone on the other side of the room.

  "Fine! Now spill!"

  "What? No 'Hello, I miss you, I've been dying in agony from not being able to see you and hold you, I want to kiss you until you're breathless'?"

  "Hello, I miss you, I've been dying in agony from not being able to see you and hold you, I want to kiss you until you're breathless. Now tell me!" Carrie rambled off excitedly.

  Jack laughed and he spoke in a lilting, teasing voice. "What happened to the sweet, quiet girl who wouldn't speak more than 2 words to me?"

  "Here are two words for you now: Tell Me."

  He grinned lopsidedly. "Oh, I don't know. I really don't like to gossip much."

  "You're not gossiping. You're just transferring information – like a messenger or a newspaper."

  "Right, sure."

  "Jack!"

  "Hmm?"

  "Come on!"

  "Mmmm . . ."

  "Don't make me call Caine."

  "Oh, hell no! He's the only person I know who's capable of sexual harassment over the phone."

  "Sooo?"

  "Alrighty, Sammy goes to Vincent."

  "What do you mean 'goes to'? She's not some kind of an object!"

  "Alright, I'm sorry. I mean, Sammy and Vincent are now a couple of equal standing."

  "Oh. Darn! I was so hoping Tristan would win. They are so cute together."

  "Well, I don't know. Vince and Sammy are pretty good together as well. He was walking around today with the most i
nsipid grin on his face. I swear he started walking into walls."

  Carrie giggled. Then she let out a long sigh.

  "What's the matter?"

  "Nothing. I just remembered that I now owe Danielle fifty dollars."

  "Huh?"

  "Yeah, we had a bet about which one of our brothers was going to win Sammy. Man, what a huge disappointment."

  "Uh huh. Now who's the one who's being a bit materialistic and treating Sammy like an object? Huh? Huh?"

  "Jacky, don't contradict me, please." She sniffed loudly and he could have sworn he heard her eyelashes fluttering with the speed of a hummingbird's wings. "I'm still feeling a bit down."

  His heart melted despite his instincts. "There, there. I'm sure your brother will find someone nice soon. If not, there's always Will. I'm beginning to think he'll go for anyone."

  Will stopped yapping on his cell phone and stuck out his tongue at his roommate.

  "Thanks, Jack. You're the best."

  His chest swelled up and he mumbled gruffly, "Yeah, well, I'll never kick a dog when it's down – oh, not that I'll kick a dog - ever – and ah, not that I'm comparing you to a dog – it's just –"

  "I know, I know. You're a big softy, Jacky." She coughed delicately. "Sucker."

  "Excuse me?"

  * * *

  "You know, I bet if you had just let me worked my charms on Sammy, she wouldn't be with Vincent right now. Between you and me, who could possibly resist us?"

  Tristan rolled his eyes before turning back to his book. "Whatever."

  "I mean, we're really missing out on a great opportunity here. It's not like there's always a cute girl who's managed to smuggle into an all boys school."

  "As opposed to the not so cute ones who've snuck in before?" Tristan raised an eyebrow.

  Caine waved a hand airily. "Eh, semantics. You know what I mean. What I'm saying is that I want a cross dressing girlfriend of my own!"

  Tristan drawled while flipping a page, "That sounds so unbelievably pathetic, I don't even know where to start."

  "Again, you know what I mean. I want a girlfriend who I can see every day instead of just over holidays. It's not fair!"