1979 - A Can of Worms

by James Hadley Chase

  “How about smuggling? I know a guy who is stuffed with loot, smuggling cigars from Cuba.”

  “Are you trying to talk me into a jail?”

  She shrugged.

  “Forget it. I know what I would do in your place.”

  I steered the car into the basement garage of my highrise.

  “So what would you do in my place?” I asked as I turned off the engine and the lights.

  “I’d look around among the rich creeps I worked for, and put a bite on them,” Bertha said as she got out of the car.

  “Meaning the creeps I work for?”

  “Meaning the rich creeps like Russ Hamel you are working for.”

  I joined her and we walked towards the elevator.

  “Did I tell you I was working for Hamel?”

  “Skip it, Bart. You didn’t tell me, but it’s obvious. Let’s forget it. You are not using your brains. Few get the chance to work for all these rich creeps as you do. Those few who have your chances wouldn’t waste them as you are wasting them. There’s big money to be made out of these rich creeps. It just needs some thought. Come on, let’s get upstairs or my mood will fade on me.”

  As I followed her into the elevator, I began to think about what she had said. I was still thinking when we rolled into bed, but once her arms and her legs wrapped around me, I stopped thinking.

  There is a time and a place for everything.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Southeast of Paradise City, some thirty miles out in the Gulf, there is a chain of small islands extending down to Key West.

  Sitting beside Nick Hardy in his helicopter, I looked down on this chain of islands that looked like green blobs in the blue, glittering sea.

  Nick had no trouble spotting Hamel’s yacht. We were already circling the harbour when the yacht slipped its moorings and headed out to sea.

  There were other helicopters up: taking the rich on sightseeing tours, so I had no worry that Nancy nor Josh Jones would suspect we were shadowing them.

  I used Nick’s field glasses. I could see Nancy on the flying bridge. Jones must have been in the wheelhouse. I couldn’t see him from my position.

  “They’re heading for the Keys,” I said. “Head back to the harbour and circle. We can’t lose them, and I don’t want them to catch on we are tailing them.”

  Nick, bulky with a red, good-natured face, did as I asked.

  “That’s Mrs. Hamel down there,” he said. “What’s the idea, Bart?”

  “Since when did you start asking questions? Ask the Colonel if you want to know.”

  He grinned.

  “Okay. So I don’t want to know.”

  The yacht was now approaching the Keys. It slowed, turned and began running along the coastline until it reached Matecumbe Key, then it headed towards a group of tiny islands about five miles east.

  “What are those islands?” I asked.

  “Used to be pirate strongholds,” Nick told me. He was well versed in the history of Florida. “The pirates used to hide up there and pounce on any passing vessel. Blackbeard is supposed to have had his headquarters there. The islands are uninhabited now.”

  The yacht slowed and began to edge its way into a wide creek, between two of the islands, half concealed by dense vegetation. Then it disappeared under an umbrella of Spanish moss and grapevines.

  I decided it would be too risky to circle and wait to see it the yacht reappeared. Nancy or Jones, or both of them, might guess we were showing too much interest, and that was to be avoided. “Okay, Nick, back to the pad,” I said, “and if you don’t want the Colonel on your neck, say nothing about this.”

  He gave me a puzzled stare, then shrugged.

  “You’re the client.” He headed back to the mainland.

  “All the same, Bart, she’s a nice girl.”

  “How do you know? Have you ever met her?”

  “Sure, and Mr. Hamel. I took them to Daytona Beach last month and brought them back. I don’t dig Hamel. He’s a stuffed shirt, but she’s a real charmer: too young to have married him.”

  “Did they seem to you to be getting along together?”

  “I wouldn’t know. He sat at the back and never uttered. She sat where you are sitting and chatted all the time.”

  “About what?”

  “She was interested in the chopper: her first trip. She asked all kinds of questions: good questions. She’s no fool.’

  So Nancy was nice and no fool, but even nice girls screw around. I changed the subject. I talked to him about his business and asked how he was doing. We were still talking when he landed. As he walked with me to my car, I said, “Keep this close to your chest, Nick.”

  “Sure.”

  We shook hands, and I drove back to the office. Glenda said the Colonel was tied up, and how did I get on?

  I was about to tell her of Nancy’s visit to the pirate stronghold, when I heard, inside my head, Bertha’s voice saying: There’s big money to be made out of these rich creeps. It just needs some thought.

  I shifted fast into a lie.

  “I followed her in the chopper. She spent the whole afternoon, fishing. A dead waste of time.”

  Glenda nodded.

  “Could be Hamel is hysterical,” I went on. “It happens.”

  “I’ll tell the Colonel.”

  I returned to my office. Chick was out. I hoisted the Scotch bottle from my desk drawer, poured myself a drink and lit a cigarette.

  It just needs thought.

  So I thought. After a while, I decided I would investigate those islands on my own. Maybe Nancy went there to sun bathe in the nude or even to fish, but she might be meeting Waldo Carmichael and having it off with him.

  Those islands were discreet. Suppose this was what she’s doing? Because I was on the Colonel’s payroll, I should report to him I had reason to believe that Nancy was suspect. But suppose I didn’t? What was in it for me if said nothing about her visit to the pirate island?

  I poured another drink, and did some more thinking, then I pulled the telephone towards me and dialled Toni Lamberti’s number. Toni hired out boats for fishing. I had often rented one of his boats on a day off when Bertha wanted a breath of sea air. I fixed it with him to have a boat with an outboard motor for 05.00.

  “How long will you want it, Mr. Anderson?”

  “Until midday.”

  “For cash, Mr. Anderson, I can give you a discount. Twenty dollars: credit thirty dollars.”

  “Okay, cash.”

  “The boat will be ready. Help yourself.”

  As I hung up, Chick came in.

  “What’s the action?” he asked as he sat down.

  “She fished. No action.”

  “For Pete’s sake!”

  “Yeah, but I enjoyed the trip. And you?”

  “I worked my goddamn feet off. I’m now willing to bet Waldo Carmichael doesn’t exist. Even the cops don’t know him. I’ve checked all the hotels and the motels. I’ve even checked the hospitals: no Waldo Carmichael.”

  I got to my feet.

  “Let’s tell the Colonel.”

  We had to wait ten minutes before Parnell was free, then I reported that so far we had come up with nothing.

  “It all points to some crank needling Hamel,” I said.

  “From information, his wife is nice, a charmer and no fool. No one I’ve talked to has a word against her.”

  “And this guy Waldo Carmichael is not in the district,” Chick added.

  Parnell pulled at his nose while he thought.

  “We can’t leave it like that,” he said finally. “It’s too soon to call off the operation. You’ve only been watching for two days. Give it to the end of the week, Bart.” He turned to Chick. “No point both of you working on this. Something else has come up you can work on.” To me, “You take care of Mrs. Hamel. If she goes off on the yacht again, let her go, but keep on her tail when she’s not on the yacht. If, at the end of the week, you have a negative report, I’ll talk to Palmer and see w
hat he wants done.” He waved me to the door and Chick to a chair.

  I returned to my office. With Chick off the case, I would have a free hand. It would take me a couple of hours to reach the islands. No one at the office would know I wasn’t tailing Nancy. I could spend the whole morning snooping around the islands, and if I didn’t come up with something, I could tag after Nancy in the afternoon.

  Then I remembered I had nine more days before payday and I had less than thirty dollars in my wallet. I would have to pay twenty dollars for the hire of the boat! I sat bolt upright in alarm.

  I was overdrawn at the bank. I sat back and considered my bleak, immediate future. Unless I found a sucker good for a loan, I was faced with a drink and food problem. I had never, been in such a squeeze. I cursed myself for taking Bertha to the Seagull. Then I told myself it had been a super feed. Regret nothing: there must be a way. I began to consider my various friends who had helped out in the past. After mulling over the names, I was forced to admit there was no hope. My so called friends now crossed the street when they saw me coming.

  Bertha?

  I brightened. An idea. Sold right, she just might be good for a touch, but she would have to be carefully handled. I had never put the bite on her, but there was always a first time.

  By my watch, it was 17.40. Bertha usually left the fashion house around 18.00. If I hurried, I might just catch her. I hurried.

  Arriving at the parking bay where she always left her Honda, I saw the car was still there. Lighting a cigarette, I waited. Then minutes later, she came briskly from the building.

  “Hi, there, babe,” I said, catching hold of her arm. “How’s this for a surprise?”

  She regarded me suspiciously. I could see she wasn’t in her usual gay mood.

  “Why aren’t you working?” she demanded.

  “That’s a nice way to greet your bedfellow. Did anyone tell you you look more gorgeous than you did last night? Did they?”

  “You can cut out the baloney,” she snapped. “What are you doing here?”

  “I felt I had to feast my eyes on you. Come over to my car. I want to talk to you.”

  “I don’t want to sit in your car. Take me somewhere for a drink.”

  Knowing that Bertha only drank champagne cocktails, I tightened my grip on her arm and steered her towards the Maserati.

  “This is business, babe. I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”

  “I want a drink! What did I say last night?”

  I opened the car door and practically shoved her in, then ran around and got in under the steering wheel.

  “You came up with a profound idea,” I said. “Have a cigarette.”

  She took one grudgingly and I lit it, then lit one for myself.

  “I don’t remember what I said. What was it?”

  “I’ll quote you. You said: ‘I’d look around among the rich creeps I work for and put the bite on them.’ Remember?”

  She lost her sulky look and her eyes narrowed.

  “Yes, I said that. So what?”

  “I’ve been thinking. The more I thought the brighter the suggestion became. I have an idea at the back of my mind that I could lay my hands on a big slice of money, and if I do, I won’t forget my bed-fellow.”

  “I hear you. There’s a catch in this, but I’ll listen.”

  “I need a very small amount of capital to get this idea on its feet,” I said. “How would you like to be my partner?”

  Her eyes snapped.

  “Are you asking me for money?”

  “Put like that, the answer is yes. Strictly a loan, plus twenty percent interest for ten days. That also buys you a piece of the action.”

  “What action . . .”

  “That must remain a secret, babe.” I gave her my mysterious smile. “I guarantee repayment in ten days. You know I wouldn’t welch on you, don’t you?”

  “No, I don’t!” She studied me. “Are you going to try to put the bite on Russ Hamel?”

  “Who even mentioned him? I didn’t.”

  “You’re working for him. You were asking about him last night. You turned shifty when Tasked if you were working for him and that told me you are.”

  I sighed.

  “Strictly between the two of us, babe, I am. He thinks his wife is two-timing him and he’s hired us to watch her, but for God’s sake, keep this under your bra.”

  “That little ninny?” Bertha said scornfully. “He’s crazy! She’s not the type to play around. All she’s good for is tennis and fishing.”

  “Yeah, but she just might have been led astray. Now suppose she found some rich creep, younger than Hamel, who worked on her. She’s lonely, with Hamel working all day, so this creep takes her around, works on her, and finally they have a big romance. It’s happened before, and will happen again.”

  Bertha shrugged.

  “Maybe. So where do you come in?”

  “I’m working on that, babe. What I need is a little capital.”

  “How much?”

  I could see she was interested. I was going to put the bite on for fifty dollars, but decided not to stint myself.

  “Let’s say three hundred, and . . .”

  “Three hundred!” she practically screamed. “You need your head examined.”

  “Okay, forget it, babe. I’ll find someone else. This is a loan, not a gift. I know dozens of guys and dolls who’ll loan me a lousy three hundred at twenty percent for ten days.”

  “You are a liar. No one except me would loan you five dollars. Okay, Bart.” She opened her bag and took out her purse. “A hundred and fifty, repaid in ten days at twenty percent.”

  I peered into her purse. It seemed stuffed with the green.

  “Have you been robbing a bank?”

  She thrust the two bills at me and snapped her purse shut.

  “If you do get your hands on a big slice of money, I expect a rake-off. Understood?”

  “You’ll get it when I get it.” I put the two bills in my wallet, feeling rich again.

  “Now we’ll have a drink. Come on, drive me to Caesar’s. I’m thirsty.”

  I hesitated. A champagne cocktail at Caesar’s bar cost ten dollars. I didn’t hesitate for more than a couple of seconds. I was rich again. What’s money for except to spend?

  I started the engine and headed for Caesar’s bar.

  * * *

  I arrived at the pirates’ islands a little after 06.30. It had been a hell of a struggle to get myself awake by 04.30, but with the aid of an alarm clock and three cups of strong coffee, I more or less made it.

  As Bertha had had a date, after drinking two champagne cocktails, and asking more questions which didn’t get her anywhere, she had left me. I had returned to my apartment and made preparations for the morning. I dug out my jungle uniform I practically lived in when in Vietnam. The camouflage blouse, the tuck-in drill trousers, the jungle boots, plus a hunting knife, I packed in a holdall. I added a floppy hat, insect repellent and a thermos of iced Scotch and water.

  On my way down to the quay, I bought a pack of beef sandwiches from an all-night cafe. I found the boat waiting for me.

  When I was in sight of the islands, I cut the outboard engine and changed into the jungle uniform. It felt odd to be wearing those clothes again, but from the look of the dense vegetation of the islands, they were the clothes to wear.

  After smearing my face and arms with the insect repellent, knowing the mosquitoes were maneaters, I headed for the wide creek where Nancy’s yacht had disappeared.

  I took it slowly: the outboard engine just ticking over and almost soundless. I steered the boat under the canopy of Spanish moss and vines. After the dazzle of the sun, it was as if I was moving into a hot, steamy tunnel. Swarms of mosquitoes buzzed around my head, but the repellent kept them at bay. Ahead of me, I saw the sunlight, and in a few moments, I edged the boat into a tiny lagoon. I cut the engine and let the boat drift to the near bank. I saw a well-worn path leading into the jungle. The
re was a stout post, driven into the bank, and I guessed this was used to moor the yacht. I made my boat fast to the post, then slinging the holdall over my shoulder, I set off cautiously along the path, my eyes alert for snakes, my hunting knife in my hand. I walked for about a quarter of a mile. Ivory billed woodpeckers and blue jays scattered into the overhead foliage at my approach. The heat was oppressive and sweat ran off me. Ahead of me, I saw the path took a sharp turn, and from the increased light, I guessed, around the corner, was a clearing.

  All my jungle training came back to me. I crept forward, avoiding the creepers, making no sound until I reached the massive trunk of a dead tree. From behind its shelter, I was able to see the clearing.

  Pitched in the shade was a green canvas jungle tent. It was the kind of tent I used to live in in Vietnam: big enough to accommodate four men comfortably. The entrance to the tent was laced up. To the side of the tent was a portable barbeque and two canvas folding chairs.

  The grass and weeds around the site were trampled flat.

  This scene puzzled me. Surely, I wondered, this couldn’t be a love nest? I found it hard to believe that Nancy came here to meet a lover. It must be like an oven inside that tent.

  I remained, still, wondering if anyone was inside the tent. The fact that the entrance was laced shut suggested no one was. I looked around, chose a big flowering shrub some yards from the path and moving silently, I squatted down behind the shrub, out of sight, but with a good view of the tent.

  Mosquitoes buzzed around me. Apart from bird noises, the jungle was silent. I wiped my face, opened the holdall and took a drink from the thermos. I wanted a cigarette, but decided that the smoke might give me away. I settled down to wait. It was a long, sweltering wait. I kept looking at my watch. When the hands crawled to 08.45, I heard a sound that made me flatten out on the ground: the sound of a man, whistling. Then came the sound of the crackling of dead leaves and the swish of vines as they were impatiently pushed aside. Whoever was approaching was confident of being alone. He was taking no precautions.

  Peering through the leaves of the shrub, I saw a man come out of the jungle on the far side of the clearing. He was of medium height, broad shouldered and muscular.